#PNCBank #NamingRights #RaisingChildren #CostOfRaisingChildren #parents #children
A child graduates from his or her school.
Instead of announcing him or her by name as he or she gets a diploma, the master of ceremonies announces the name of the company who bought the rights to that child’s name. The parents in the audience cheer.
Farfetched? PNC Bank is using that scenario in an ad to show how desperate parents are to cover the cost of raising children.
PNC Bank, of course, suggests better ways to improve a family’s financial position.
The idea of selling the rights to a person’s name to a company comes from the naming of stadiums and arenas, where sponsorship makes more sense.
But the ad highlights a deeper problem. It’s getting more difficult financially to raise children today than in past decades.
On top of that, it’s getting more difficult for those children, once they become adults, to leave home because they are not making enough money to live independently.
In past decades, it was a parent’s goal for his or her children to live better than he or she did.
Today, for many generations, that is almost impossible.
The cost of food, energy, housing etc. has gotten out of reach for many people, regardless of background.
Raising a child requires a lot of investment. If they play sports, or participate in other activities, there are often big costs involved. You want your children to pursue activities in which they have skills and interests. Even if they don’t have great skills in those activities, parents recognize that the social interaction, teamwork lessons etc., can be valuable to a child as they grow into adults.
You also want them to feel the joy of holidays with gifts, which also can be expensive.
When you add those things to the necessities of life, even before a post-high-school education, raising a child can drain a family’s finances. When the parents of that child also want to save for their own retirement, in an age in which employer retirement plans are few, dicey financial decisions abound.
As they grow, children can learn to help their families cover their activities through part-time jobs etc. But, if that child plans to pursue higher education, parents will want that child’s earned money to go to that purpose.
Of course, as PNC says, it’s better for a family to have a financial plan with a good adviser the family trusts.
But it’s difficult to blame parents for trying creative ideas to enhance the family’s financial position.
Hard work, good behavior and good character are still the cornerstones of any child’s success.
The toughest parenting job may be to keep the child from getting discouraged when he or she does everything right, yet still doesn’t achieve what he or she wants.
The solution here is to have a plan early in a child’s life, in which savings can accumulate and earn dividends over time, then spending it very selectively at the correct intervals of a child’s life.
If a family is fortunate enough, it can create a separate fund for the parents’ retirement.
Of course, either of those is easier said than done.
But, with some creativity, good advice and discipline, it can be possible.
Peter
Tag Archives: parents
HOW DO YOU DEFINE SUCCESS? GEN Z MEN, WOMEN HAVE DIFFERENT VIEWS
#GenZ #HavingChildren #WhenToHaveChildren #ConcernAboutTheFuture #men #women
How do you define success?
If you are between 18 and 29 years old, depending on whether you are a man or a woman, you may view success differently, according to a recent NBC News poll, conducted with Survey Monkey.
Both men and women all ranked having a fulfilling job, having money to do the things they want to do and achieving financial independence highly, the poll says.
About 25 percent of those polled say they are worried about their future.
But a remarkable percentage of Gen Z men ranked having children as their top characteristic of success. Women ranked having children closer to the bottom of their priorities, the poll said.
Today’s politics is filled with notions of women concentrating more on motherhood than careers.
But, with this generation having a more difficult time than their parents did in making a life, the idea of having children may be a low priority for many women.
In decades past, it was easier for women to stay at home while men went to work. Today, with prices of necessities soaring, it’s almost impossible to live on one salary.
It’s no wonder this generation is feeling anxious about the future.
Politicians like to carve out dream scenarios. Often, they are just dreams untethered to reality.
Even with both men and women in the same household working, making ends meet – let alone saving for a house or retirement – is much more difficult.
They can only look at their parents and grandparents and wonder how they could build the equity they had built. Inheritance may be their only hope.
Not only is it financially difficult to have children, it’s can be financially difficult to get married. Some data indicates that many first-time home buyers are in their 40s, when it’s supposed to be the prime of your earning years.
Their parents and grandparents may have gotten married fairly young, bought a small house fairly early into their marriage and traded up to better housing over the years to accommodate their families.
Many of those parents or grandparents have adult children living with them, because, even with a job, they can’t live on their own, let alone start a family.
If young men see success in having children, how are they going to do that?
If such young men still live with mom and dad, they are already starting from behind.
With unaffordable rents, and salaries and job opportunities not commensurate with those rents, they can’t start building a life outside of mom and dad’s house.
Having children may be great, but one has to be able to afford them. Having children you can’t afford will only put those kids behind in many ways.
The same politicians encouraging young people to have children are the same ones who refuse to help provide for those children once they are born.
So, if you are young today, make the best choices you can. Don’t let anyone bully you into a life you can’t handle.
Remember: Step 1 is finding a reasonably good paying job. Step 2 is moving out of mom and dad’s house. Step 3 is finding a good, responsible life partner. Once you’ve done those things, you can think about when to have a family.
Peter
How do you define success?
If you are between 18 and 29 years old, depending on whether you are a man or a woman, you may view success differently, according to a recent NBC News poll, conducted with Survey Monkey.
Both men and women all ranked having a fulfilling job, having money to do the things they want to do and achieving financial independence highly, the poll says.
About 25 percent of those polled say they are worried about their future.
But a remarkable percentage of Gen Z men ranked having children as their top characteristic of success. Women ranked having children closer to the bottom of their priorities, the poll said.
Today’s politics is filled with notions of women concentrating more on motherhood than careers.
But, with this generation having a more difficult time than their parents did in making a life, the idea of having children may be a low priority for many women.
In decades past, it was easier for women to stay at home while men went to work. Today, with prices of necessities soaring, it’s almost impossible to live on one salary.
It’s no wonder this generation is feeling anxious about the future.
Politicians like to carve out dream scenarios. Often, they are just dreams untethered to reality.
Even with both men and women in the same household working, making ends meet – let alone saving for a house or retirement – is much more difficult.
They can only look at their parents and grandparents and wonder how they could build the equity they had built. Inheritance may be their only hope.
Not only is it financially difficult to have children, it’s can be financially difficult to get married. Some data indicates that many first-time home buyers are in their 40s, when it’s supposed to be the prime of your earning years.
Their parents and grandparents may have gotten married fairly young, bought a small house fairly early into their marriage and traded up to better housing over the years to accommodate their families.
Many of those parents or grandparents have adult children living with them, because, even with a job, they can’t live on their own, let alone start a family.
If young men see success in having children, how are they going to do that?
If such young men still live with mom and dad, they are already starting from behind.
With unaffordable rents, and salaries and job opportunities not commensurate with those rents, they can’t start building a life outside of mom and dad’s house.
Having children may be great, but one has to be able to afford them. Having children you can’t afford will only put those kids behind in many ways.
The same politicians encouraging young people to have children are the same ones who refuse to help provide for those children once they are born.
So, if you are young today, make the best choices you can. Don’t let anyone bully you into a life you can’t handle.
Remember: Step 1 is finding a reasonably good paying job. Step 2 is moving out of mom and dad’s house. Step 3 is finding a good, responsible life partner. Once you’ve done those things, you can think about when to have a family.
Peter
BECOME AN EFFECTIVE PERSON BY LEARNING COMMON SENSE
#parents #parenting #children #ChildRearing #independence #CommonSense
A mother complained to behavioral consultant Scott Ervin that her academically talented teen daughter seems to have no common sense.
She couldn’t understand how a kid couldn’t apply her book smarts to real-world activities.
Ervin basically told the mother that the teen needed to experience the real world without her parents.
Ervin discussed the interaction in a column published May 24, 2025, in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
What Ervin is saying is that common sense is not learned in a book. It is learned by trial and error.
He’s also saying that common sense cannot be taught by parents, teachers or anyone else. The student has to acquire it independently.
This interaction calls to mind the concept of “helicopter” parents, who hover over their children’s lives well into adulthood. In the guise of being “helpful,” these parents end up taking an outsized role in all of their child’s decisions.
Also, the interaction brings to the fore the idea that parents have to let go of their children by a certain age.
Many children grow up in overly restrictive households, with way too many rules imposed upon them.
They have no way to get out to learn common sense. Their “sense” is dictated to them.
Children need space to make mistakes. Mistakes are the learning tools for common sense.
No parent wants a child to make a fatal mistake, or a mistake they will pay for the rest of their lives. Still, they need some freedom to learn on their own.
Parents may not want their children interacting with certain other children, or certain other adults.
But, those interactions often turn into positive learning experiences. They could broaden the child’s mind, perhaps beyond the point mom and dad want it broadened.
Parents want children to be obedient, not defiant. However, some defiance can be healthy for a child. It can teach them that some of what they are being taught may not be in their own best interest, even if it is in mom and dad’s best interest.
As author and leadership expert Andy Andrews has said, good parenting is not raising good kids. It is developing good adults. Being a good adult may mean, in some cases, not being like your parents, as the Dr. Rick commercials muse.
The process of growing and maturing must be a healthy combination of good parenting, a healthy bit of independence and exposure to good and bad experiences.
Some things that parents view as mistakes can benefit the child over time. Some of what parents view as “accomplishments” can be meaningless, or even detrimental, to the child over time.
As Ervin advises, give the child his or her own space and time to learn common sense on their own. They will become better adults for it.
Peter
A mother complained to behavioral consultant Scott Ervin that her academically talented teen daughter seems to have no common sense.
She couldn’t understand how a kid couldn’t apply her book smarts to real-world activities.
Ervin basically told the mother that the teen needed to experience the real world without her parents.
Ervin discussed the interaction in a column published May 24, 2025, in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
What Ervin is saying is that common sense is not learned in a book. It is learned by trial and error.
He’s also saying that common sense cannot be taught by parents, teachers or anyone else. The student has to acquire it independently.
This interaction calls to mind the concept of “helicopter” parents, who hover over their children’s lives well into adulthood. In the guise of being “helpful,” these parents end up taking an outsized role in all of their child’s decisions.
Also, the interaction brings to the fore the idea that parents have to let go of their children by a certain age.
Many children grow up in overly restrictive households, with way too many rules imposed upon them.
They have no way to get out to learn common sense. Their “sense” is dictated to them.
Children need space to make mistakes. Mistakes are the learning tools for common sense.
No parent wants a child to make a fatal mistake, or a mistake they will pay for the rest of their lives. Still, they need some freedom to learn on their own.
Parents may not want their children interacting with certain other children, or certain other adults.
But, those interactions often turn into positive learning experiences. They could broaden the child’s mind, perhaps beyond the point mom and dad want it broadened.
Parents want children to be obedient, not defiant. However, some defiance can be healthy for a child. It can teach them that some of what they are being taught may not be in their own best interest, even if it is in mom and dad’s best interest.
As author and leadership expert Andy Andrews has said, good parenting is not raising good kids. It is developing good adults. Being a good adult may mean, in some cases, not being like your parents, as the Dr. Rick commercials muse.
The process of growing and maturing must be a healthy combination of good parenting, a healthy bit of independence and exposure to good and bad experiences.
Some things that parents view as mistakes can benefit the child over time. Some of what parents view as “accomplishments” can be meaningless, or even detrimental, to the child over time.
As Ervin advises, give the child his or her own space and time to learn common sense on their own. They will become better adults for it.
Peter
LET CHILDREN BE AS INDEPENDENT AS POSSIBLE
#children #IndependentChildren #SeeSomethingSaySomething #AdultSupervision
A boy, 11, walks to the store alone, about a mile from his home in North Georgia.
A neighbor sees him without an adult and reports his mother to authorities.
The mother is arrested.
The boy was not in danger and was not doing anything wrong.
In decades past, giving children some independence was not only allowed but encouraged.
Those of a certain age remember being dismissed from the house on Saturday or summer mornings and told not to come back until lunchtime.
No parents were watching them. They could, essentially, do what they wanted, with whom they wanted and go wherever their legs could take them for a few hours.
If they got in trouble, they paid for it later. If they got lost, they had to find their way back home.
Today’s climate requires, in many cases, more scrutiny of children. There is much more trouble they could get into today than children could in the past.
More prevalent today are pitfalls of drugs, violence, gangs and even non-custodial parents that could pose a threat to children.
In the North Georgia case, those pitfalls may have been less of a threat.
As discussed last week, it’s difficult to be an independent person today, even as a young adult. It’s difficult to create a life without help.
Does the lack of independence as a child contribute to that phenomenon? That’s a difficult question.
Make no mistake. It’s important for neighbors to look out for each other. If you see something wrong or threatening, say something.
It’s also important that if you see nothing wrong or threatening to mind one’s own business.
Authorities should judge reports of child neglect carefully. Perhaps, if they are called to a scene, they should be inclined to watch the child for a time to see whether there is a problem. If they see no problem, they, too, should drive away.
If they see something that may be amiss, it’s OK to ask the child whether everything is OK.
If the child says yes, and they still suspect something, keep watching.
Children have to learn to navigate life on their own, even at a young age. They also should learn to be aware of their surroundings, know the risks and dangers of certain activities and know what or who would be a threat to their well-being.
Small risks are OK. Skinned knees are not life-threatening. And being encouraged to take small risks can encourage them to take bigger risks as adults. Life is not without risk and parents need to help prevent risk aversion as their kids grow.
The lesson here is to let kids be as independent as possible within their confines. Neighbors should be watchful but not intrusive.
We all benefit when independent children become fully independent adults.
Peter
A boy, 11, walks to the store alone, about a mile from his home in North Georgia.
A neighbor sees him without an adult and reports his mother to authorities.
The mother is arrested.
The boy was not in danger and was not doing anything wrong.
In decades past, giving children some independence was not only allowed but encouraged.
Those of a certain age remember being dismissed from the house on Saturday or summer mornings and told not to come back until lunchtime.
No parents were watching them. They could, essentially, do what they wanted, with whom they wanted and go wherever their legs could take them for a few hours.
If they got in trouble, they paid for it later. If they got lost, they had to find their way back home.
Today’s climate requires, in many cases, more scrutiny of children. There is much more trouble they could get into today than children could in the past.
More prevalent today are pitfalls of drugs, violence, gangs and even non-custodial parents that could pose a threat to children.
In the North Georgia case, those pitfalls may have been less of a threat.
As discussed last week, it’s difficult to be an independent person today, even as a young adult. It’s difficult to create a life without help.
Does the lack of independence as a child contribute to that phenomenon? That’s a difficult question.
Make no mistake. It’s important for neighbors to look out for each other. If you see something wrong or threatening, say something.
It’s also important that if you see nothing wrong or threatening to mind one’s own business.
Authorities should judge reports of child neglect carefully. Perhaps, if they are called to a scene, they should be inclined to watch the child for a time to see whether there is a problem. If they see no problem, they, too, should drive away.
If they see something that may be amiss, it’s OK to ask the child whether everything is OK.
If the child says yes, and they still suspect something, keep watching.
Children have to learn to navigate life on their own, even at a young age. They also should learn to be aware of their surroundings, know the risks and dangers of certain activities and know what or who would be a threat to their well-being.
Small risks are OK. Skinned knees are not life-threatening. And being encouraged to take small risks can encourage them to take bigger risks as adults. Life is not without risk and parents need to help prevent risk aversion as their kids grow.
The lesson here is to let kids be as independent as possible within their confines. Neighbors should be watchful but not intrusive.
We all benefit when independent children become fully independent adults.
Peter
ARE YOU BETTER OFF THAN YOUR PARENTS?
#housing #YoungAdults #HighCostOfLiving #HousingPrices #parents
If you are a young adult, do you believe you will have a better life than your parents?
In decades past, and, perhaps, still today, parents’ goal was to give their child(ren) a better life than they had.
But, young folks today, in large numbers, don’t see that as a possibility.
Many of them still rely on help from their parents to get through daily life.
Remember last week, we talked about the cost of going to work? Now, we will examine one of the effects.
Perhaps this problem began as home prices really started to accelerate back in the 1970s. Many children who grew up in relatively affluent towns could not afford to live there on their own as adults. They could not afford the home prices or apartment rentals.
So, if they wanted to stay close to home, they moved to nearby towns and cities that were not nearly as affluent and had more affordable housing options.
Perhaps, they thought, someday they’d have enough money to move back to the town in which they grew up. Maybe, they could even inherit mom and dad’s house when they died. This was when living at home with mom and dad was, shall we say, less desirable.
Today, young people are really feeling the squeeze. The jobs they can get, even with a college education, don’t pay much more, figuring for inflation, than they did back in the 1970s.
But housing costs during those decades have ballooned. Housing that was unaffordable in the 1970s is completely out of reach today for young folks.
Even housing in the less affluent towns has become more difficult for young folks to buy, or even rent.
Add to that the rising cost of everything else: food, fuel, day care, education etc., and starting a life in one’s 20s today without help is nearly impossible.
Many in that age group are postponing marriage, children and other life expectations (at least their parents expect them) because of costs. Never mind that some of them are already burdened with student loan debt.
Today’s employers are not seeing young people coming into the workforce in droves because they can’t live on what they will be paid.
Companies are expanding and relocating to new environs, thus creating jobs. But few of the jobs they are creating will go to people who already live in those places. They will go to people who will move to those locales because of the jobs, which brings increasing property values that aggravate the problem.
As an aside, American retirees moving overseas to less expensive countries are pricing the young locals there out of some of their markets.
For many young people today, getting ahead financially is a somewhat foreign concept. How to survive, day to day, is a more pressing matter.
There are signs that wages are rising, contributing to inflation and creating an economic chicken-and-egg roller coaster for everyone.
So, starting an adult life is hard today. The idea of finding a first apartment, or house, that is affordable, then trading up over time may be foolhardy thinking.
A combination of public and private solutions to this problem are in demand right now. Perhaps the catalyst to solving this problem may lie in an idea no one has yet conceived.
Still, it’s vitally important for young people to cultivate and maintain optimism. You are the future. You, and your cohort, may be the ones to solidify that future for your whole generation.
Peter
If you are a young adult, do you believe you will have a better life than your parents?
In decades past, and, perhaps, still today, parents’ goal was to give their child(ren) a better life than they had.
But, young folks today, in large numbers, don’t see that as a possibility.
Many of them still rely on help from their parents to get through daily life.
Remember last week, we talked about the cost of going to work? Now, we will examine one of the effects.
Perhaps this problem began as home prices really started to accelerate back in the 1970s. Many children who grew up in relatively affluent towns could not afford to live there on their own as adults. They could not afford the home prices or apartment rentals.
So, if they wanted to stay close to home, they moved to nearby towns and cities that were not nearly as affluent and had more affordable housing options.
Perhaps, they thought, someday they’d have enough money to move back to the town in which they grew up. Maybe, they could even inherit mom and dad’s house when they died. This was when living at home with mom and dad was, shall we say, less desirable.
Today, young people are really feeling the squeeze. The jobs they can get, even with a college education, don’t pay much more, figuring for inflation, than they did back in the 1970s.
But housing costs during those decades have ballooned. Housing that was unaffordable in the 1970s is completely out of reach today for young folks.
Even housing in the less affluent towns has become more difficult for young folks to buy, or even rent.
Add to that the rising cost of everything else: food, fuel, day care, education etc., and starting a life in one’s 20s today without help is nearly impossible.
Many in that age group are postponing marriage, children and other life expectations (at least their parents expect them) because of costs. Never mind that some of them are already burdened with student loan debt.
Today’s employers are not seeing young people coming into the workforce in droves because they can’t live on what they will be paid.
Companies are expanding and relocating to new environs, thus creating jobs. But few of the jobs they are creating will go to people who already live in those places. They will go to people who will move to those locales because of the jobs, which brings increasing property values that aggravate the problem.
As an aside, American retirees moving overseas to less expensive countries are pricing the young locals there out of some of their markets.
For many young people today, getting ahead financially is a somewhat foreign concept. How to survive, day to day, is a more pressing matter.
There are signs that wages are rising, contributing to inflation and creating an economic chicken-and-egg roller coaster for everyone.
So, starting an adult life is hard today. The idea of finding a first apartment, or house, that is affordable, then trading up over time may be foolhardy thinking.
A combination of public and private solutions to this problem are in demand right now. Perhaps the catalyst to solving this problem may lie in an idea no one has yet conceived.
Still, it’s vitally important for young people to cultivate and maintain optimism. You are the future. You, and your cohort, may be the ones to solidify that future for your whole generation.
Peter
WHAT ‘;SHOULD BE’ AND WHAT ‘IS’ IN LIFE
#marriage #divorce #children #HowLifeShouldBe #dreams #goals
The song came out in 1971.
The lyrics talked of marriage, divorce and how we were all taught about what life “should be.”
Carly Simon’s “That’s the Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” had an eerie melody and profound lyrics.
During that decade, most people were told to go to college, get a career, settle down, get married and have children.
The lessons date to when parents of those young people were young themselves. Though they may not have gone to college, their parents taught them to get a good job, settle down, get married and have kids.
Some in the 1970s rebelled at such a life. They went off to “find themselves.” They actually fought, so as not to become like their parents.
Even though their parents likely gave them a good upbringing and a memorable childhood, they did not want to become like them.
They felt such a life was confining, too routine and even prisonlike.
They wanted to be “free.” They wanted to see the world. They wanted to explore new things.
Certainly, some, as Simon’s song points out, did what they were taught. But, the result was lots of fighting, even divorce.
It’s often difficult for some people, young or older, to figure out who they are and what they want.
For others, there was no question.
For some of those indecisive folks, they’ll know who they are and what they want when it comes to them. It’s as if they are waiting for a message from above to guide them.
For the more decisive, it’s a matter of doing what one needs to do to get what one wants. Often, that can take time and lots of effort. Plus, much like for the indecisive, things have to go right along the way. Good fortune comes to those who prepare to receive it.
The lesson here is not to necessarily dismiss what your parents taught you, but to compile those teachings with a body of your own thoughts.
Sometimes, some things will just feel right. Other times, that right feeling has to be created.
Another important lesson is to enjoy the journey of life. You probably won’t remember how you were at the end of the journey, but you will certainly remember the milestones along the way.
A third lesson is to prepare for your entire life. Decisions one makes when he or she is young will benefit – or not – what happens to him or her in later years. Every thought or action should involve thoughts of how that thought or action will impact one’s future.
So, as the Simon song laments, don’t necessarily be what you always heard you should be. Find what pleases you. Create goals and a path to get to them. Things may happen for a reason you don’t know at the time, so react properly to them to stay on, or get back to, your path to success.
Your path always may not be in a straight line. Some of those twists and turns can be beneficial. Regardless, they should always be memorable.
Peter
The song came out in 1971.
The lyrics talked of marriage, divorce and how we were all taught about what life “should be.”
Carly Simon’s “That’s the Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” had an eerie melody and profound lyrics.
During that decade, most people were told to go to college, get a career, settle down, get married and have children.
The lessons date to when parents of those young people were young themselves. Though they may not have gone to college, their parents taught them to get a good job, settle down, get married and have kids.
Some in the 1970s rebelled at such a life. They went off to “find themselves.” They actually fought, so as not to become like their parents.
Even though their parents likely gave them a good upbringing and a memorable childhood, they did not want to become like them.
They felt such a life was confining, too routine and even prisonlike.
They wanted to be “free.” They wanted to see the world. They wanted to explore new things.
Certainly, some, as Simon’s song points out, did what they were taught. But, the result was lots of fighting, even divorce.
It’s often difficult for some people, young or older, to figure out who they are and what they want.
For others, there was no question.
For some of those indecisive folks, they’ll know who they are and what they want when it comes to them. It’s as if they are waiting for a message from above to guide them.
For the more decisive, it’s a matter of doing what one needs to do to get what one wants. Often, that can take time and lots of effort. Plus, much like for the indecisive, things have to go right along the way. Good fortune comes to those who prepare to receive it.
The lesson here is not to necessarily dismiss what your parents taught you, but to compile those teachings with a body of your own thoughts.
Sometimes, some things will just feel right. Other times, that right feeling has to be created.
Another important lesson is to enjoy the journey of life. You probably won’t remember how you were at the end of the journey, but you will certainly remember the milestones along the way.
A third lesson is to prepare for your entire life. Decisions one makes when he or she is young will benefit – or not – what happens to him or her in later years. Every thought or action should involve thoughts of how that thought or action will impact one’s future.
So, as the Simon song laments, don’t necessarily be what you always heard you should be. Find what pleases you. Create goals and a path to get to them. Things may happen for a reason you don’t know at the time, so react properly to them to stay on, or get back to, your path to success.
Your path always may not be in a straight line. Some of those twists and turns can be beneficial. Regardless, they should always be memorable.
Peter
CAN (DO) STUDENTS FEEL SAFE IN SCHOOLS
#SchooolSafety #teachers #students #parents #FeelingSafe #SchoolShootings
Safety in schools is more than just being able to avoid being shot.
Of course, any moment now, someone could walk into a school with a gun and shoot a bunch of students, teachers and staff.
What can we do about it? Not much, short of limiting the supply of firearms – particularly the most lethal and purely offensive weapons — for people who shouldn’t have them.
More security officers in schools will help, as long as they are willing to come face to face with the assaulter(s).
But now, it’s not just the threat of violence in the schools that can concern children. Children used to be able to confide in teachers, or other staff, about things they may have been afraid to tell parents.
Now, in many places, teachers and staff MUST tell parents if children talk to them about, say, their sexuality.
Maureen Downey, education columnist for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, took on this topic in her March 14, 2023, column.
There was a time when school was a totally safe space for kids. Yes, they were supervised. Yes, they had many requirements they had to fulfill. Sometimes, discipline was necessary.
If Child X was bothering Child Y, Child Y could go to someone and report it confidentially – at least in theory. (There may have been some fear that Child X would retaliate if he or she were disciplined).
Of course, there should be cooperation between teachers, staff and parents when necessary. But there are some things kids don’t want to discuss with parents, particularly if they live in restrictive households.
Discussing such things with other students has its own peril. Besides, students usually do not have the adult wisdom to counsel properly.
We want students not only to be safe in school, but also to FEEL safe in school. If they do not feel safe, they won’t learn properly. Despite some schools that strictly use rigor and discipline as an education method, most students are not motivated to learn strictly out of fear. Certainly, fear can get kids to accomplish tasks. But, they are unlikely to truly learn what they need to know that way.
Feeling unsafe in school puts fear at top of mind for students.
So, what is an educator to do under these conditions?
If students are not allowed to be honest with educators about what they are feeling, how is an educator supposed to reach them?
As governments begin to impose unreasonable restrictions on how teachers teach, what they teach, what they can and cannot say to students etc., how and what do these entities expect students to learn in school?
It’s a question that will not be answered immediately. It’s difficult to measure what a deprived learning environment will do to any child.
The good news in all this – or the bad news, depending on one’s perspective – is that if a student doesn’t learn what he or she wants in school, there are other readily available outlets for them to get that information. Students often will fill that learning vacuum via other means.
We can only hope that depriving students of safety, and some education, in schools doesn’t lead to one or more of them, out of frustration, turning to weapons against that same school.
Peter
Safety in schools is more than just being able to avoid being shot.
Of course, any moment now, someone could walk into a school with a gun and shoot a bunch of students, teachers and staff.
What can we do about it? Not much, short of limiting the supply of firearms – particularly the most lethal and purely offensive weapons — for people who shouldn’t have them.
More security officers in schools will help, as long as they are willing to come face to face with the assaulter(s).
But now, it’s not just the threat of violence in the schools that can concern children. Children used to be able to confide in teachers, or other staff, about things they may have been afraid to tell parents.
Now, in many places, teachers and staff MUST tell parents if children talk to them about, say, their sexuality.
Maureen Downey, education columnist for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, took on this topic in her March 14, 2023, column.
There was a time when school was a totally safe space for kids. Yes, they were supervised. Yes, they had many requirements they had to fulfill. Sometimes, discipline was necessary.
If Child X was bothering Child Y, Child Y could go to someone and report it confidentially – at least in theory. (There may have been some fear that Child X would retaliate if he or she were disciplined).
Of course, there should be cooperation between teachers, staff and parents when necessary. But there are some things kids don’t want to discuss with parents, particularly if they live in restrictive households.
Discussing such things with other students has its own peril. Besides, students usually do not have the adult wisdom to counsel properly.
We want students not only to be safe in school, but also to FEEL safe in school. If they do not feel safe, they won’t learn properly. Despite some schools that strictly use rigor and discipline as an education method, most students are not motivated to learn strictly out of fear. Certainly, fear can get kids to accomplish tasks. But, they are unlikely to truly learn what they need to know that way.
Feeling unsafe in school puts fear at top of mind for students.
So, what is an educator to do under these conditions?
If students are not allowed to be honest with educators about what they are feeling, how is an educator supposed to reach them?
As governments begin to impose unreasonable restrictions on how teachers teach, what they teach, what they can and cannot say to students etc., how and what do these entities expect students to learn in school?
It’s a question that will not be answered immediately. It’s difficult to measure what a deprived learning environment will do to any child.
The good news in all this – or the bad news, depending on one’s perspective – is that if a student doesn’t learn what he or she wants in school, there are other readily available outlets for them to get that information. Students often will fill that learning vacuum via other means.
We can only hope that depriving students of safety, and some education, in schools doesn’t lead to one or more of them, out of frustration, turning to weapons against that same school.
Peter
NO ONE ASKS STUDENTS WHAT THEY THINK OF BOOK BANS
#BookBans #education #students #teachers #parents
Parents are clamoring for certain books to be banned in schools.
Do students want the same thing?
It appears no one cares what the kids think.
Maureen Downey, education columnist for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, tackled this subject in her October 11, 2022, column.
“(Parents) often roll their eyes or guffaw when students themselves defend the books, suggesting that while they want to protect kids, they don’t want to hear their views,” Downey writes.
Downey asked students who have attended school board meetings and hearings what they would like to tell adults advocating book bans.
“I would ask them not even to change their viewpoint, but to keep and open mind. Even though I didn’t agree with what the parents were saying, I still listened. They refused to listen. Whenever someone would speak against book bans, they would start yelling. I also wish they were more informed. They were taking so many things out of context.”
That quote comes from Anvita Sachdeva, a senior at Forsyth County High School, outside Atlanta.
The whole debate about banning books and “protecting” kids centers on open minds vs. closed minds.
So many fear that schools will indoctrinate children into believing things that oppose what they are taught at home by parents, at church or in other non-school locales.
Past generations were easily able to reconcile what they were taught in church, at home and in school, even if there were seemingly contradictory narratives.
Why do some parents fear that no longer is the case?
Perhaps these parents so desperately want their children to think exactly as they do. They don’t want them exposed to ideas, religions etc., that differ from theirs.
Parental restrictions may be the purest form of indoctrination.
The other problem is that parents objecting to certain texts take certain passages out of context, thereby condemning the entire work without reading it in its entirety.
Something that may have a good, even wholesome, overall message may have passages that are less so.
That seems like the old forest vs. trees syndrome.
In short, children should be taught to have open minds, for it is a closed mind that prevents innovation. In that quest, they may come across words, attitudes and behaviors they find objectionable. But that’s not nearly as important as raising a child to think for himself or herself.
Parents certainly want to teach children right from wrong. There are certainly words, attitudes and behaviors that are universally right or wrong. But, children are unlikely to become gay, or trans, based on what they are taught in school. Those are not learned behaviors, but are natural feelings.
Exposing children to people, cultures and beliefs that may not sync up with what their parents believe can not only open their minds, but teach them to accept others for who they are.
By doing that, the world will be better. The children themselves will be better people. And, unexpected friendships could result.
That should be the goal of every parent.
Peter
MANY COUPLES DON’T WANT CHILDREN
#childfree #parents #children #ChildbirthDecisions #MarriedCouples
Traditionally, a person grows up, gets married and has children.
That person becomes a part of the typical American family.
But a Michigan study has discovered that many adults don’t want to be parents.
An article on the study, written by Zachary P. Neal, associate professor of psychology at Michigan State University, and Jennifer Watling Neal, psychology professor at Michigan State, was published Aug. 17, 2022, in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
The article says many people decide relatively early in life whether they want to be parents.
In fact, the article quotes the study, 21.64 of adults studied say they do not want children.
The study determined that a person was “childfree” if they answered “no” to whether they have ever had children (biological, adopted or step-children), whether they plan to have children in any of the three categories and whether they wished they had, or could have, children.
The study also breaks down the types of people in the category: “Childfree” people don’t want children; “childless” people want children, but can’t have them; “not-yet-parents” want children in the future; “undecided” people aren’t sure whether they want children; and “ambivalent” people aren’t sure they would have wanted children.
The study also says that under-population is not a problem. Despite the relatively high percentage of people in the Michigan study who don’t want children, the global population will continue to grow, the article says.
Having children is, and should be, an option for everyone. Parents of previous generations urged their children to at least “replace themselves” with children of their own.
For certain people, that may not be an option, physically. For others, it may be a decision based on other burdens in life. Still, for others, it may just be a matter of personal choice.
These people should not be criticized for their decisions. Very often, critics of such people have no idea what that person, or that couple, may be dealing with.
The article points out that workplace policies on work-life balance also favor parents. “We believe the needs of (the childfree group) warrant more attention from policymakers,” the authors write.
Having children should not be considered an obligation. Many parents of past decades lay guilt trips on their children for not producing grandchildren for THEM.
Of course, grandparents may love grandchildren, but they get to send them home, in most cases.
In short, children should be sent home with parents who WANT them, and are willing to put in the necessary work to raise them.
The article also points out that people who don’t want children are told they may change their minds down the road. That appears unlikely, the article says.
So, have children only if you want. If you do, have only as many as you want. But, if you don’t want to, that’s OK, too.
Peter
TEACHERS BAILING OUT OF PROFESSION
#teachers #education #parents #SchoolAuthorities #TeachersQuitting
First, the pandemic imposed extra stress on teachers.
Then, politicians started telling teachers what they could teach, how they could teach it and what books or other tools they could use.
It’s hardly a wonder why teachers are asking why anyone would do this job.
Maureen Downey, education columnist for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, tackled the rapid departure of teachers in a recent column.
She quotes a Rand report on the pandemic’s role in teacher resignations. Researchers found that half the teachers who resigned did so because of the pandemic, she writes.
She also writes that stress, more than low pay, was almost twice as common a reason for resigning.
“At least for some teachers, the COVID-19 pandemic seems to have exacerbated what were high stress levels pre-pandemic by forcing teachers to, among other things, work more hours and navigate an unfamiliar remote environment, often with frequent technical problems,” Downey quotes the Rand report.
Teachers didn’t leave the profession necessarily for higher-paying jobs. The Rand researchers said most teachers who left took jobs with either less or about equal pay, Downey writes.
The Merrimack College Teacher Survey, a poll of more than 1,300 teachers conducted by EdWeek Research Center in January and February 2022, says the profession is in free-fall, Downey writes. Only 12 percent of K-12 teachers are very satisfied with their jobs, down from 39 percent a decade ago,’ Downey quotes the survey. It also says the salary satisfaction rates are lowest in the South and Midwest. Only 21 percent of teachers in those areas believe their pay is fair for the job they do, Downey quotes the survey.
In 2011, 77 percent of teachers believe their profession is respected. Now, only 46 percent of teachers believe that, Downey writes.
In short, teaching is a relatively low-paying profession that politicians love to pick on. There is already a teacher shortage, which could become acute if the pressure and restrictions on teachers continue.
Certainly, everyone wants parents actively involved in the school(s) their children attend. Some mostly inner-city teachers have seen a lack of parental involvement as a serious problem.
But, there is a difference between involvement and interference. Involvement means parents are supporting what teachers are doing, and encourage their children to vigorously participate in their education.
Interference means parents are standing in the way of teachers teaching truth to children. Few teachers will put up with that for a long time.
People go into teaching, and education in general, for the love of the job. They certainly don’t do it to enrich themselves. Yet, good teachers can play a significant role in making the world a better place by encouraging students to learn.
If the current milieu continues to chase away teachers from the profession, we may soon have schools that can’t educate students.
Those in authority over schools should not only know the difference between parental involvement and interference, but also the difference between educational improvement and educational destruction.
Teachers acutely know the difference and are voting with their feet.
Peter