#children #IndependentChildren #SeeSomethingSaySomething #AdultSupervision
A boy, 11, walks to the store alone, about a mile from his home in North Georgia.
A neighbor sees him without an adult and reports his mother to authorities.
The mother is arrested.
The boy was not in danger and was not doing anything wrong.
In decades past, giving children some independence was not only allowed but encouraged.
Those of a certain age remember being dismissed from the house on Saturday or summer mornings and told not to come back until lunchtime.
No parents were watching them. They could, essentially, do what they wanted, with whom they wanted and go wherever their legs could take them for a few hours.
If they got in trouble, they paid for it later. If they got lost, they had to find their way back home.
Today’s climate requires, in many cases, more scrutiny of children. There is much more trouble they could get into today than children could in the past.
More prevalent today are pitfalls of drugs, violence, gangs and even non-custodial parents that could pose a threat to children.
In the North Georgia case, those pitfalls may have been less of a threat.
As discussed last week, it’s difficult to be an independent person today, even as a young adult. It’s difficult to create a life without help.
Does the lack of independence as a child contribute to that phenomenon? That’s a difficult question.
Make no mistake. It’s important for neighbors to look out for each other. If you see something wrong or threatening, say something.
It’s also important that if you see nothing wrong or threatening to mind one’s own business.
Authorities should judge reports of child neglect carefully. Perhaps, if they are called to a scene, they should be inclined to watch the child for a time to see whether there is a problem. If they see no problem, they, too, should drive away.
If they see something that may be amiss, it’s OK to ask the child whether everything is OK.
If the child says yes, and they still suspect something, keep watching.
Children have to learn to navigate life on their own, even at a young age. They also should learn to be aware of their surroundings, know the risks and dangers of certain activities and know what or who would be a threat to their well-being.
Small risks are OK. Skinned knees are not life-threatening. And being encouraged to take small risks can encourage them to take bigger risks as adults. Life is not without risk and parents need to help prevent risk aversion as their kids grow.
The lesson here is to let kids be as independent as possible within their confines. Neighbors should be watchful but not intrusive.
We all benefit when independent children become fully independent adults.
Peter