DEFIANCE VS. CHALLENGE: THE SIMILARITIES MAY SURPRISE YOU

#defiance #challenge #complacency #acceptance
When we think of defiance, we think of fighting back against someone or something in authority. People defy dictators. Children defy parents, teachers etc.
In other words, we think of defiance as a bad thing. (We certainly don’t want to raise defiant toddlers).
When we challenge something, we take on the status quo. We stand up for what’s right, against what’s wrong. South Africans challenged apartheid. American blacks challenged racism etc. We think of challenge as a good thing.
As adults, we defy evil and challenge for the good. Perhaps we challenge ourselves to defy those things that are keeping us from being the best we can be.
The opposite of defiance is complacency. The opposite of challenge is acceptance.
The question, therefore, becomes: are we too afraid to defy what is, even though it’s not doing right by us? Do we dare not challenge ourselves to go over or around what is, to make our lives better?
We all have different situations. Some of our situations are good, and worth maintaining, like a good-paying job we enjoy.
For many of us, our situations need, or require, change. Perhaps we’ve let change happen to us, thinking, although we don’t like what’s happening, there’s nothing we can do about it. We accept, rather than challenge. We become complacent, rather than defiant.
Very likely, in whatever situation you are in, there is SOMETHING you can do to change it for the better. You don’t have to wish for better circumstances to come your way. You can create better circumstances by challenging yourself to be a little defiant.
Too often, we are taught by our elders not to challenge, not to be defiant. You’ve all heard the expressions, “keep your nose to the grindstone,” or “keep your head low,” or “don’t make waves.” If you do those things, you’ll stay out of trouble.
Today, however, particularly in the workplace, that advice can produce no fruit. Some very hard-working people may wake up one morning, go to work as usual, only to find they are suddenly out of a job.
The complacent ones, those who accept what is, pack up their things, go home, complain, cry etc., and start to think that life as they knew it is over.
Defiant ones, those who’ve challenged themselves, have not only anticipated that circumstance, they’ve prepared for it. Perhaps they’ve spent some part-time, off-work hours creating a secondary income – perhaps even one that dwarfs their salaries.
There are many vehicles out there that will allow you to do that. To check out one of the best, message me.
The lesson here is perhaps that many people accept what is, and become complacent. When change occurs, they don’t take it well and long for the old days that will never come back.
Defiant ones realize that change happens often. They prepare for the day when their good situations disappear, or change for the worse. Perhaps they don’t know when it will happen, but they realize that someday it will. When it does, they challenge themselves to become even better than they were.
Defiance in young children may not be desirable, but you may want to raise your children to become defiant adults. You do that by being defiant yourself. Let the children watch you overcome obstacles. Let them watch you challenge yourself to turn a bad situation into something that makes you better.
If you challenge yourself to become defiant, you may find yourself in a great situation you had never believed possible.
Peter

QUANTIFYING THE BENEFIT OF A GOOD ATTITUDE

#atttitude #GoodAttitude #QuantifyingAttitude
No rah-rah speeches, please.
That’s what Sam Glenn, a worldwide expert on attitude, was told by a company representative who was considering hiring him to give a speech.
So Glenn tells the story of how much a good attitude is really worth.
Glenn was going to buy a TV, but only had $500 to spend. The store clerk says $500 won’t cover that. Glenn asks to speak to a manager. When the manager comes over, his first response, rather than “may I help you,” or something akin, was, “what’s the problem?”
When all was said and done, the manager could do nothing for Glenn, so he took his $500 and walked out of the store.
“That unhelpful attitude is reflected in the level of work they do in the workplace,” Glenn writes in his book, “The Gift of Attitude: 10 Way to Change the Way You Feel.”
Good attitudes have a benefit that can be quantified. If one customer per day leaves a business without spending money, because he doesn’t like how he was treated, that’s real money, Glenn asserts. Multiplied over a week, month or year, you can see the cost of a bad attitude.
The book also talks about attitude “warriors,” people who make it a point to ALWAYS have a great attitude, and attitude “termites,” those that eat away at people’s good attitude.
So, the question becomes, are you a warrior or a termite?
If you are a warrior, you probably are intentional about how you feel. You insist on not just displaying a good attitude, but genuinely creating one. If you are a termite, you work diligently to make happy people miserable. But, if you run into a warrior, chances are the termite tactics won’t work on that person because he or she has made it a point not to let a termite taste victory.
Circumstances differ day to day in most workplace settings. Warriors don’t allow those circumstances to affect their attitude. They make good situations great and bad situations better.
They treat everyone as if he or she is special.
If your (pick one: work, financial, personal) circumstances are causing you to be an attitude termite, think about what’s good in your life, and try adjusting your attitude using those things.
Think about ways to help others. If you are looking for a vehicle to make your life better, and help others, there are many such vehicles out there. To check out one of the best, message me.
If you are an employer, devote a priority to an employee’s, or prospective employee’s, attitude. The right attitude can yield real productivity. The opposite is also true. An employee’s bad attitude can really cost you.
If you are an employee, make sure you create a good attitude going into work. A good attitude reduces stress and allows you to better deal with any circumstances that cross your path. You may not solve every problem, but you’ll find many more possible solutions – or create a solution.
If you are having a bad day, and it’s affecting your attitude, think about a time when you were treated badly by a store clerk, or some other person you were hoping would help you solve a problem. You do not want to be like that person. You want to solve your and others’ problems.
Leave home thinking you’re going to save the world – one person at a time – by treating that person the way you would want to be treated.
Peter

WHY ASIAN PARENTS HAVE THEIR KIDS’ BACKS IN SCHOOL

Why do students of East Asian descent do so well in school? Because parents are the primary educators.
So concludes Maureen Downey, education columnist for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Her column on the subject was published July 31, 2017.
While American parents are concerned with how engaging their child’s teacher is, how much homework their child will have and whether their child will be able to balance school and other activities, such as band or soccer, in East Asian countries, parents are worried about one thing: whether their child will learn, Downey writes.
The Asian children’s success will depend not only on their own effort, but that of their parents, she writes.
That difference may explain the performance gap between American students and those from East Asian countries, Downey writes.
According to a research scholar on East Asian education, this lagging performance by American students will not change unless we upend two beliefs: teachers are responsible for student achievement and parents play a supportive, rather than primary, role in their child’s education, Downey writes.
Cornelius N. Grove, author and researcher on East Asian education, has challenged the assumption that school performance is determined by innate aptitude, Downey writes. He says children bring – or don’t bring, in the case of some U.S. students – a receptiveness to learning and a moral and cultural imperative to excel, Downey writes.
Students who fail an algebra test here might say, “I’m just not good at math,” Downey quotes Grove. East Asian students use failure to figure out what they don’t know and redirect their study plan, Downey quotes Grove.
One could argue that while education is important, so are other things in life. The balance American parents look for in their children is a worthy endeavor. We want children to have a life, to do things that kids do, to enjoy growing up and not be put in a pressure cooker.
On the other hand, some parents can be too loosey-goosey, fret about the child’s self-esteem, etc.
Those old enough may remember when parents sent kids to school, let them figure out what to do, perhaps had one or two conferences a year with teachers and that was it. Some parents were disinclined, or perhaps even incapable, of helping with homework.
Still, “we have masses of young people (In the U.S) who aren’t able to do simple math, who have trouble reading a sentence,” Downey quotes Grove.
Yet, she quotes him, “we are not short of entrepreneurs in this country.” If your child is an entrepreneur, and is looking for something to apply that trait that could earn him potentially a lot of money, there are many vehicles out there that may fit him or her. To check out one of the best, message me.
The bottom line is that parents have to find the happy medium in which their child can excel in school, and still be a kid. The parents have to devote a higher priority on education, and not leave everything up to teachers and schools.
The children have to want to learn. A parent who cultivates a child’s desire to learn is parenting at its best. So let your kids be kids, let them do what they enjoy, yet still have focus on education. Perhaps the parents can take a leading role in increasing school performance of American children.
Peter

YOU ARE YOUR HABITS

#habits #GoodHabits #BadHabits

“Excellence … is not an act, but a habit.”
That Aristotle quote leads off a book called “Habits Die Hard: 10 Steps to Building Successful Habits,” by Mac Anderson and John J. Murphy.
The authors talk about ways not only to build good habits, but to break bad ones.
We think of most habits as bad, such as smoking, overeating, drinking too much etc.
We also think of habits as things we cannot help, or change. The authors disagree.
“Experts worldwide agree that one of the most essential characteristics among successful people is the ability to visualize where they want to be in the future,” the authors write.
“This powerful practice elicits passion and conviction, and if the vision is shared, … it inspires teamwork,” they write.
They apply that success principle to habits – replacing bad ones with good ones. “There are always options. We just have to let go of one to allow another,” they write.
Changing one’s belief changes one’s thinking. And changing one’s thinking can change one’s life, the book says.
Since we can all visualize bad habits, let’s see whether we can do the same with good ones.
Living above one’s means is a bad habit. Saving money out of every paycheck for one’s retirement is the corresponding good habit.
Overeating is a bad habit. It usually happens when one continues eating when he is full, or eats when he’s not hungry. Eating in moderation at mealtime, or until one is full, is a good habit. We can break it down further on what the best foods are, but if you are, say, a choco-holic, indulge your habit selectively and lightly.
Let’s go back to that quote from the book about success. Success is built on good habits. It’s also built on being able to visualize where one wants to be in the future.
In other words, if you’ve been taught not to dream, to accept your life the way it is, etc., it may be time to change your thinking.
When you visualize where you want to be, you are dreaming. That’s not only OK, it’s encouraged by experts on success.
If where you are now is not where you want to be in the future, and you are willing to look at something that may get you closer to where you want to be, there are many such vehicles out there to help you get to that place. To check out one of the best, message me.
In summary, you may have to adopt better habits to be successful. You may have to learn to visualize where you want to be and look for a way to get you there.
The book offers exercises in writing down bad habits, or a habit you have that you want to break. Habits are NOT permanent, not engrained, not carved into one’s brain.
But they may require one to change his way of thinking, if they are keeping him from succeeding. Only you know what you need to change to make you better.
Don’t let those who would urge you to settle for mediocrity influence your habits. The power to visualize is the power to change.
Peter