#childfree #parents #children #ChildbirthDecisions #MarriedCouples
Traditionally, a person grows up, gets married and has children.
That person becomes a part of the typical American family.
But a Michigan study has discovered that many adults don’t want to be parents.
An article on the study, written by Zachary P. Neal, associate professor of psychology at Michigan State University, and Jennifer Watling Neal, psychology professor at Michigan State, was published Aug. 17, 2022, in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
The article says many people decide relatively early in life whether they want to be parents.
In fact, the article quotes the study, 21.64 of adults studied say they do not want children.
The study determined that a person was “childfree” if they answered “no” to whether they have ever had children (biological, adopted or step-children), whether they plan to have children in any of the three categories and whether they wished they had, or could have, children.
The study also breaks down the types of people in the category: “Childfree” people don’t want children; “childless” people want children, but can’t have them; “not-yet-parents” want children in the future; “undecided” people aren’t sure whether they want children; and “ambivalent” people aren’t sure they would have wanted children.
The study also says that under-population is not a problem. Despite the relatively high percentage of people in the Michigan study who don’t want children, the global population will continue to grow, the article says.
Having children is, and should be, an option for everyone. Parents of previous generations urged their children to at least “replace themselves” with children of their own.
For certain people, that may not be an option, physically. For others, it may be a decision based on other burdens in life. Still, for others, it may just be a matter of personal choice.
These people should not be criticized for their decisions. Very often, critics of such people have no idea what that person, or that couple, may be dealing with.
The article points out that workplace policies on work-life balance also favor parents. “We believe the needs of (the childfree group) warrant more attention from policymakers,” the authors write.
Having children should not be considered an obligation. Many parents of past decades lay guilt trips on their children for not producing grandchildren for THEM.
Of course, grandparents may love grandchildren, but they get to send them home, in most cases.
In short, children should be sent home with parents who WANT them, and are willing to put in the necessary work to raise them.
The article also points out that people who don’t want children are told they may change their minds down the road. That appears unlikely, the article says.
So, have children only if you want. If you do, have only as many as you want. But, if you don’t want to, that’s OK, too.
Peter
Tag Archives: Michigan State University
WINNING AND LOSING
#winners #losers #coaches
If you are not a winner, are you a loser?
We’ve dealt with that question many times over the years, and we’ve seen both extremes.
In one extreme, tight competition among good players yields only one winner. The rest, though very good, lost. There’s a difference, though, between losing one competition and being a “loser,” we’ve discovered.
The other extreme is a child who gets an award just for showing up, so as not to hurt his self-esteem. This milieu in which everyone “wins” tends to give participants license not to try their best, or not to understand that life is a mix of winning and losing.
Tom Baxter, political columnist for the Atlanta-based Saporta Report, discussed the zero-sum game in the context of University of Alabama’s head football coach Nick Saban’s, and Michigan State University head coach Mark Dantonio’s opposition to expanding the college football playoff system from four to eight teams.
“This would do more to damage to the traditional bowl games and create a ruthless and unfair standard for college coaches,” Baxter writes of the coaches’ argument.
With the number of conferences and teams in college football, playing at varying levels with different levels of support, it’s not easy to determine a national champion. In the past, it was strictly by polls. Now, the polls determine the top four teams, and those teams engage in a playoff, with the winners of the first two games playing in a national championship game in January.
Baxter writes that Saban and Dantonio also argue that the expanded playoff format would put extra pressure on coaches. In college football, and most other sports, coaches live and die – or keep their jobs – based not only on their team’s results, but also on the expectations of the institution, or ownership, and the fan base.
Coaches with good overall records get fired based because of those expectations. Baxter used the example of University of Georgia head coach Mark Richt, who was fired before the 2015 season officially ended for his team, after 15 years of a good record. But the university and their fans had higher expectations, i.e. at least one national championship. If more teams got into the playoff format, that would put more pressure on coaches, Baxter writes of Saban and Dantonio’s argument.
Baxter uses the football analogy in reference to national politics, but let’s look at it in terms of everyday life.
Of course, everyone wants to win. But not everyone can win. There is a limited number of winning positions, at least in theory, and fair competition – or, in some cases, unfair competition – to determine who gets those winning slots.
Sometimes, showing up makes one a winner. Showing up can mean giving it a shot, which is more than some would do.
There are many who see themselves as winners, but are unsure at which endeavor they want to be winners. If you are one of those, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You might find just the things to get your winning juices flowing.
So decide at which game/occupation/skill in which you want to be a winner. Then, go for it. You probably won’t win everything, every time, but keep at it. As for expectations, expect more from yourself than others expect from you. If you achieve your own expectations, you’ll always be considered a winner.
Peter