A slogan from the 1960s said: “If it feels good, do it.”
It was a way to assert one’s freedom , to branch out from what was socially acceptable into an area that was, well, not.
We all love to do what feels good, but it might be better to follow the advice of author, speaker and TV personality Les Brown: “do what you know, not what you feel.”
Brown is saying that we should do what we know we need to do, not just what feel like doing.
Let’s take that a step further. We know we need to eat right and exercise. But at a given moment, we might feel like relaxing on the couch with a big piece of chocolate cake. If you’ve exercised and eaten right most of the day, perhaps relaxation and a piece of cake are well deserved. But eating cake EVERY day because it feels good is not a good habit.
This works to the contrary as well. Sometimes, after a highly stressful day at work, you KNOW there is take-home work to do, but you want to just relax. You may need the relaxation more than the extra work. You may need balance in your life. Sometimes, your body tells you to back off work awhile.
Also, doing what you know you should do may mean spending more time with your family, instead of tackling that take-home work. A good rule here: if work really can wait, let it, if you are at home.
Some other activities make us feel good, but may keep us from doing what we know we should. Television is a perfect example. If you are neglecting something you know you should be doing but believe you don’t have time, think about how much time you may spend watching television.
Sure, the little screen is big entertainment, and very enjoyable. Some programming is certainly worth watching (much, sadly, is not). If you are doing what you know you should, chances are you are doing it with no remote in hand.
Many people get introduced to opportunities to change their lives and live their dreams, but pass it by because, “I couldn’t put another thing on my plate.” Some people really can’t. But most don’t want to change their lives badly enough to check it out.
You see, they will tell you that they are doing what they know they should be doing, and not what they feel like doing. Their plates may be overflowing, they are stressed, yet comfortable. Tackling something new and different would be uncomfortable. Perhaps they don’t realize what their lives are doing to them – and not doing for them.
Does that sound like you?
Perhaps you FEEL you have to do what you do, and neglecting some of what you REALLY should be doing, and don’t even know it.
Do you know there might be something better out there for you? If it were presented to you, would you want to look at it? If so, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau.
If you KNOW you are not doing what you should be doing much of the time, but feel like you HAVE to do what you’re doing, then look for something that will encourage you to do more of what you should be doing.
Only you can know what that is. Only you can act on doing those things. Only you can change your life, if it needs changing.
That doesn’t mean you don’t treat yourself to a little decadence once in a while. But don’t eat cake EVERY day, at the expense of the right foods and exercise.
But your dreams are waiting. Eventually, why not eat your cake, and still have it.
Peter
Monthly Archives: October 2013
SUCCESS VS. SIGNIFICANCE
Success focuses on the three Fs: fans, fame and fortune.
But most truly successful peopl e are not fulfilled unless they are also significant. Significance focuses on three other Fs: faith, family and friends.
This formula came from the book “Attitude: The Remarkable Power of Optimism,” by Nido R. Qubein, president of High Point University in North Carolina.
You wouldn’t want to be around some successful people. They are selfish, greedy and among the first to take advantage of someone, or someone’s misfortune.
You might be drawing a paycheck from some of these folks. You see, they are not interested in your success. They are only interested in what you can do to make THEM successful. They pay you as little as they believe they can get away with. They want you DEPENDENT on them, even to the point of desperation.
In short, they are successful, but not significant – at least to you.
If they were significant to you, they would want YOU to be successful. They see your success as their success. They are grateful for what you do for them, and reward you well for it. That reward may not necessarily come in the form of money, though in the process of making you successful, money may be a part of it.
If you moved on to bigger and better things, they would feel proud. The successful, but insignificant, employer will feel you are leaving him in the dust, and want to penalize you for it.
Somehow, the successful but insignifant people sleep at night. Successful and significant people could not sleep at night if they let down one of their people.
Significant people put faith and family ahead of any personal gain. They believe if your priorities are right, everything else will fall into place.
The insignificant believe that only they are the priority.
So, one can choose to be successful at any cost. Others can choose to be significant first, then successful.
For the significant person, success may have a different definition. It may not be measured by money. Instead, it may be measured by how one earns and uses his time and treasure. It may be defined by how many people he has made successful.
In John Maxwell’s “5 Levels of Leadership,” the fifth level is helping to create other leaders. When you get to that level, you are successful and significant.
The lesson here is to have the proper priorities in life: faith, family and friends. The more people to whom you are significant, the more successful you will be. As your significance grows, your impact on the world grows.
Of course, one may need a vehicle to help more people become successful. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You will see that the ONLY way for you to become successful is to help others become successful.
No matter who you are or how you define success, strive to become the most significant person you can be.
Peter
DANCING TO ONE’S OWN TUNE
Marina Shifrin quit her job for a Taiwanese animator and created a video of her dancing in celebration.
Naturally, the video caught on and was not only an online hit, news organizations showed it repeatedly on television.
Some of us fantasize about quitting our job and celebrating. Perhaps we have a job that we’ve hated, but suddenly find ourselves able to unload it from our lives. Some may come into a little money, so therefore they don’t need to work anymore.
Dancing your way out the door may look like fun to some, but some may need to take pause.
As an employer, would you like to see anyone so happy to quit a job? In Marina’s case, she was fed up with the long hours she was putting in. She made that video at 4:30 a.m. when she finally finished work. In fact, her employer made a follow-up video wishing Marina luck.
If you are an employer and are not bothered by such a stunt, perhaps you need to evaluate your workplace, and how your employees really feel. If you don’t care how they feel, then hopefully all your workers will dance out the door.
Departing a job is often sad. As an employee, you’ve given your heart and soul to something, and for whatever reason you have to leave reluctantly. Or, you get laid off unexpectedly, and don’t know what your next step is. All you know is that you need the paycheck to pay bills.
Leaving a job can be sad, too, because of the people you’ve befriended, but may never see again. Some pleasant workplaces are difficult to leave. Perhaps you are retiring, because you’ve reached a certain age. Yet, though money may not be a problem, you may not know what you’ll do with your time.
We have a barrage of emotions about jobs. There are those who want to spend as little time at work as possible, and more time with the rest of their lives. There are also workaholics, who never leave work, even when they are home. Regardless of your situation, you have a lot of yourself invested in your job.
Even a “dream” job may not be your dream. There may be other things you want to be doing, even if you love your work. If you win the lottery, but say you won’t quit your job, chances are, you will after a while. Let’s hope you have the good sense to manage your good fortune so it can last into perpetuity for your family.
Winning the lottery is not the only way to create a fortune outside of work. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. No matter whether you do a happy dance, or leave with great sadness, your job will probably not last forever. Everyone needs a Plan B for when the day comes that work and paychecks end.
We’ve all been told that having a job that you can work at for all of your adult life is the key to success. Those days are not so gradually coming to an end. Jobs come and go, sometimes without you knowing. Just when you think you are valuable enough to your employer that he’ll never want you to go, suddenly, you’re gone. All that hard work you put in suddenly means nothing.
But most people work hard for their own purposes, and their employers benefit. You don’t have to dance out the door from your job, but hopefully you can leave your job with a smile on your face.
Peter
OPTIMISM BREEDS SUCCESS
Imagine being a pessimist and being a leader.
How can you lead people, or yourself, to success if failure is always in view.
That isn’t to say that leaders might not be realistic, but it would be difficult to find success if you never can see it.
Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performace at Austin Peay State University, uses the example of Diana Nyad, who swam from Cuba to Florida in September 2013, after several tries. Nyad had been trying to complete the swim since 1978. She faced obstacles like stinging jellyfish and other occurrences, but on her fifth try, everything was finally in place to ward off failure and she completed the swim.
Steinberg wrote about Nyad and optimism in the Sept. 29,2013, edition of the Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
He says that even people who are natural pessimists can succeed by changing their view of failure. He talks about the TUF strategy, in which failure is viewed as temporary, unique and flexible. He says people who long for success must have internal dialogue that describes failure as TUF. It’s temporary, meaning today was not the day. Tomorrow we have another chance. Unique, because each situation is unique and a better situation will arise tomorrow. Today’s attempt was a strikeout, but there’s another turn at bat tomorrow. People talk within themselves about flexibility, because one or two tweaks in strategy may change the results.
All successful people have known failure. They’ve come to accept it as part of the journey. But they are always optimistic that failure today could become success tomorrow.
In recent years, it seems many of us are surrounded by failure. A good job may be gone. Our mortgage debt may have turned from manageable to underwater, with no action by us. The idea of getting a job, or working for a company for life has all but disappeared.
We see previous generations, now retired, who’ve never experienced this. They may or may not be able to help us. It’s not that we’re lazy. It’s just that our comfort zone has gotten very prickly.
What to do? First, as Steinberg suggests, maintain your optimism. If that’s not natural for you, try to change the inner dialogue you have with yourself. Sure, optimism isn’t going to give you a paycheck tomorrow, and it may not cover your underwater mortgage, but it will help you believe that there is something better out there awaiting you.
It may be a great job that you had never envisioned doing. It may be that person you had just met, who will become meaningful in your life. It may be something totally unexpected. But if you never believe good things will come, they may show up and you won’t recognize them. Your ship may come in, but if you don’t see it, you’ll miss the boat.
You also have to look at things that may be outside your comfort zone. For one such thing, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. It may not be your ship, but you won’t know unless you go to the dock to check it out.
Regardless, optimism and a positive attitude is the one thing you can do for yourself, despite your circumstances. Look at your life so far, and see where you are. Take stock about what’s good in your life. Be thankful for those blessings. Then, see about fixing what’s wrong. You may need some help, but don’t EXPECT help. Ships will come and go, but check out every one. A certain one may have your ticket to success.
Stay focused and positive. Be optimistic. Remember, employers are looking for people who have a genuinely good outlook on life. That may be the key to you landing that great opportunity.
Be optimistic that your ship is waiting.
Peter