#gratitude #respect #DemandingGratitude #DemandingRespect #people
It’s been said we all should have an attitude of gratitude.
Indeed, we need to be grateful for all that is good in our lives – family, friends and other blessings we may have.
We should also respect those who earn our respect.
But, when gratitude and respect are demanded, rather than earned or given, it sets a different tone.
If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. That adage plays well in sales, but not in terms of gratitude and respect.
If you have earned respect and been given gratitude, whether stated or not, you should not have to ask for or demand it. It’s probably better that you don’t know someone respects you, or is grateful to you. Gratitude and respect are not – or should not be – transactable.
I’ll scratch your back, if you scratch mine. That is a transaction. Those who ask for or demand gratitude or respect are likely not going to return the favor. Nor should the giver of gratitude and respect expect anything in return.
Be nice to me. One may see that on a T-shirt as a joke. But, if someone is constantly asking for someone, or everyone, to be nice to him or her, it makes one wonder why that person would have to ask in the first place. Is everyone mean to him or her? Does everyone not give him or her the time of day?
If the answer to either question is yes, the person has to ask himself or herself why that is.
Very likely, it has less to do with the people with whom the person interacts, and more to do with the person himself.
Who’s going to win this battle? I am. I usually do.
Such a question may be posed to a parent with an antsy or misbehaving child. To the parent, it should not be a battle to be won. The parent should have full control of the situation. If the parent does not, it’s usually on the parent, not the child.
When an adult is in the same situation with another adult, and that person thinks he or she always wins no matter what, there may be some injustice there.
It’s my way, or the highway. People who feel this way have an oversized sense of self, which can be destructive.
In most human interactions, goals can be the same, but the paths to get to them may be different.
In other instances, the goals are as different as the paths. That can lead to impasse, or worse.
To summarize, treat others as you would like to be treated. Don’t expect people to treat you differently from how you treat them.
Try to give gratitude and earn respect whenever possible. Expect nothing in return – not even the acknowledgement of the respect or gratitude.
Then, give gratitude and respect, whether or not you get it in return.
If you do right by others, others are more likely to do right by you. There should be no need for demands. If you give with good intentions, chances are you will get in return.
Peter