#children #IndependentChildren #SeeSomethingSaySomething #AdultSupervision
A boy, 11, walks to the store alone, about a mile from his home in North Georgia.
A neighbor sees him without an adult and reports his mother to authorities.
The mother is arrested.
The boy was not in danger and was not doing anything wrong.
In decades past, giving children some independence was not only allowed but encouraged.
Those of a certain age remember being dismissed from the house on Saturday or summer mornings and told not to come back until lunchtime.
No parents were watching them. They could, essentially, do what they wanted, with whom they wanted and go wherever their legs could take them for a few hours.
If they got in trouble, they paid for it later. If they got lost, they had to find their way back home.
Today’s climate requires, in many cases, more scrutiny of children. There is much more trouble they could get into today than children could in the past.
More prevalent today are pitfalls of drugs, violence, gangs and even non-custodial parents that could pose a threat to children.
In the North Georgia case, those pitfalls may have been less of a threat.
As discussed last week, it’s difficult to be an independent person today, even as a young adult. It’s difficult to create a life without help.
Does the lack of independence as a child contribute to that phenomenon? That’s a difficult question.
Make no mistake. It’s important for neighbors to look out for each other. If you see something wrong or threatening, say something.
It’s also important that if you see nothing wrong or threatening to mind one’s own business.
Authorities should judge reports of child neglect carefully. Perhaps, if they are called to a scene, they should be inclined to watch the child for a time to see whether there is a problem. If they see no problem, they, too, should drive away.
If they see something that may be amiss, it’s OK to ask the child whether everything is OK.
If the child says yes, and they still suspect something, keep watching.
Children have to learn to navigate life on their own, even at a young age. They also should learn to be aware of their surroundings, know the risks and dangers of certain activities and know what or who would be a threat to their well-being.
Small risks are OK. Skinned knees are not life-threatening. And being encouraged to take small risks can encourage them to take bigger risks as adults. Life is not without risk and parents need to help prevent risk aversion as their kids grow.
The lesson here is to let kids be as independent as possible within their confines. Neighbors should be watchful but not intrusive.
We all benefit when independent children become fully independent adults.
Peter
Tag Archives: children
WORLD IS GETTING OLD — LITERALLY
#aging #demographics #BeingYoung #BeingOld #children #families
China, Japan and other countries are seeing their populations age.
The U.S. is also heading in that direction.
How and why is this happening? People are getting old and dying, but fewer young people are having children to make up for it.
There are all kinds of blame for this to go around. China, for example, once had a one-child policy to control overpopulation, as many of its baby girls were sent elsewhere for adoption.
That policy apparently is now backfiring on the Chinese.
In the U.S. and other developed countries, more young people are putting off having children, or even getting married.
The largest percentage of college students in the U.S. is women, implying that women suddenly are more interested in establishing careers than motherhood.
There are reasons for this. First, many marriages do not last, and women do not want to be left with no way to make a living if a marriage fails.
Second, if a marriage survives, or, even, thrives, two incomes are needed to build a decent life.
Even with two incomes, young people are paying a lot more for necessities than their parents or grandparents did.
Housing, no matter where it is, is in short supply and is expensive. Food costs a lot more than it once did. Consider how the price of eggs affected the last presidential election.
So, being a young person in his or her 20s just beginning adulthood is not necessarily an enviable place. These circumstances have older people celebrating that they are old.
The biggest family expense may be children. They need to be fed, clothed, kept healthy and educated. Even in countries in which the government helps considerably with those expenses, it’s still difficult for young people to have and support families.
In countries in which the government declines to provide sufficient help to families, the challenge is much more difficult.
When both parents work, children need to be cared for. Such childcare often goes unsubsidized, so the parents decide whether one of their jobs is worth that expense. If the answer is no, they are likely to put off having children or quit a job and suffer financially.
Longing for past eras, in which partners played specific family roles, will not bring back those old days.
In short, countries are aging because it is difficult to be young today. If governments want their demographics to improve, they must take action to help young families. It’s great to give young people the freedom to create their own lives, but, today, more often than not, they can’t do it without help.
Moms and dads are finding their financial ties to their children last well into adulthood. This may prevent some from living out their elder years the way they would like.
When mom and dad are gone, their children may miss that support.
So, countries will continue to age. They will continue to struggle finding young workers. They’ll continue to see many family units with only one or two people, and no or few children.
If it’s seen as a problem now, time will only make it worse unless some intervention occurs.
Trying to bring back life from decades past is not a solution. Governments will have to adjust policies to make and grow young families.
If they don’t, the old will continue to age and the young will continue to struggle.
Peter
China, Japan and other countries are seeing their populations age.
The U.S. is also heading in that direction.
How and why is this happening? People are getting old and dying, but fewer young people are having children to make up for it.
There are all kinds of blame for this to go around. China, for example, once had a one-child policy to control overpopulation, as many of its baby girls were sent elsewhere for adoption.
That policy apparently is now backfiring on the Chinese.
In the U.S. and other developed countries, more young people are putting off having children, or even getting married.
The largest percentage of college students in the U.S. is women, implying that women suddenly are more interested in establishing careers than motherhood.
There are reasons for this. First, many marriages do not last, and women do not want to be left with no way to make a living if a marriage fails.
Second, if a marriage survives, or, even, thrives, two incomes are needed to build a decent life.
Even with two incomes, young people are paying a lot more for necessities than their parents or grandparents did.
Housing, no matter where it is, is in short supply and is expensive. Food costs a lot more than it once did. Consider how the price of eggs affected the last presidential election.
So, being a young person in his or her 20s just beginning adulthood is not necessarily an enviable place. These circumstances have older people celebrating that they are old.
The biggest family expense may be children. They need to be fed, clothed, kept healthy and educated. Even in countries in which the government helps considerably with those expenses, it’s still difficult for young people to have and support families.
In countries in which the government declines to provide sufficient help to families, the challenge is much more difficult.
When both parents work, children need to be cared for. Such childcare often goes unsubsidized, so the parents decide whether one of their jobs is worth that expense. If the answer is no, they are likely to put off having children or quit a job and suffer financially.
Longing for past eras, in which partners played specific family roles, will not bring back those old days.
In short, countries are aging because it is difficult to be young today. If governments want their demographics to improve, they must take action to help young families. It’s great to give young people the freedom to create their own lives, but, today, more often than not, they can’t do it without help.
Moms and dads are finding their financial ties to their children last well into adulthood. This may prevent some from living out their elder years the way they would like.
When mom and dad are gone, their children may miss that support.
So, countries will continue to age. They will continue to struggle finding young workers. They’ll continue to see many family units with only one or two people, and no or few children.
If it’s seen as a problem now, time will only make it worse unless some intervention occurs.
Trying to bring back life from decades past is not a solution. Governments will have to adjust policies to make and grow young families.
If they don’t, the old will continue to age and the young will continue to struggle.
Peter
VIOLENCE, RELIGION A VOLATILE MIX
#violence #religion #Christianity #Christians #TeachingsOfJesus
Christianity teaches us to love thy neighbor as thyself.
But there are many people who say they are Christians who support, even encourage, violence against others.
Perhaps they believe that violence, for the right cause, is just, even ordained by God.
Certainly, history teaches us about wars fought over religion. We saw Protestants and Catholics fight in Northern Irelands a few decades ago. Many relics of that fighting remain in Northern Ireland today. Even though the fight was not over religion per se, most of those who were loyal to the British crown were Protestant, and most of those who wanted Ireland united as a separate republic were Catholic.
Today, the majority of people in Northern Ireland are Catholic, according to tour guides. Peace prevails there today, but few believe the country will remain peaceful forever. The fear of more “troubles,” as they call them, is prevalent.
In the U.S., some Christians feel they are “under attack,” from those who are not like them.
They believe they have to fight, with whatever weapons necessary, to regain “their” country.
The U.S. has always been a melting pot of religions, nationalities, races etc. So, what the Christians who feel under attack want is power – and they want to subjugate all others to their way of life.
People are entitled to believe what they believe, live however they want, as long as they don’t harm others, or interfere in others’ lives. But, some actually want to interfere in the lives of others, whom they see as not believing what they believe.
There is also the adage “live and let live.”
That means you pay no attention to lifestyles that don’t conform to yours, as long as practitioners of those lifestyles don’t bother you.
An effort to keep children away from those their parents hate can be futile, if the child grows to deviate from his or parents’ beliefs.
You can’t stop others from being themselves using force. It will not be a long-term solution, if you are inclined to feel that way. Today, the internet and social media provide many ways for like-minded people to gather, communicate and socialize.
The children WILL grow to find a way to be who they are, regardless of parental restrictions.
Sometimes, the more a parent interferes in his or her child’s life, the more distant those children become from their parents.
If you are a Christian who feels under attack, ask yourself whether Jesus would behave the way you do. Many things you may oppose were not around in Jesus’ time, or, at least, they were not done openly.
Regardless, Jesus never espoused hatred in any form. His teachings would tell us, or should tell us, to embrace differences among us and live in peace.
Many who want the Ten Commandments posted in every public school classroom would do well to abide by all those commandments.
Peter
Christianity teaches us to love thy neighbor as thyself.
But there are many people who say they are Christians who support, even encourage, violence against others.
Perhaps they believe that violence, for the right cause, is just, even ordained by God.
Certainly, history teaches us about wars fought over religion. We saw Protestants and Catholics fight in Northern Irelands a few decades ago. Many relics of that fighting remain in Northern Ireland today. Even though the fight was not over religion per se, most of those who were loyal to the British crown were Protestant, and most of those who wanted Ireland united as a separate republic were Catholic.
Today, the majority of people in Northern Ireland are Catholic, according to tour guides. Peace prevails there today, but few believe the country will remain peaceful forever. The fear of more “troubles,” as they call them, is prevalent.
In the U.S., some Christians feel they are “under attack,” from those who are not like them.
They believe they have to fight, with whatever weapons necessary, to regain “their” country.
The U.S. has always been a melting pot of religions, nationalities, races etc. So, what the Christians who feel under attack want is power – and they want to subjugate all others to their way of life.
People are entitled to believe what they believe, live however they want, as long as they don’t harm others, or interfere in others’ lives. But, some actually want to interfere in the lives of others, whom they see as not believing what they believe.
There is also the adage “live and let live.”
That means you pay no attention to lifestyles that don’t conform to yours, as long as practitioners of those lifestyles don’t bother you.
An effort to keep children away from those their parents hate can be futile, if the child grows to deviate from his or parents’ beliefs.
You can’t stop others from being themselves using force. It will not be a long-term solution, if you are inclined to feel that way. Today, the internet and social media provide many ways for like-minded people to gather, communicate and socialize.
The children WILL grow to find a way to be who they are, regardless of parental restrictions.
Sometimes, the more a parent interferes in his or her child’s life, the more distant those children become from their parents.
If you are a Christian who feels under attack, ask yourself whether Jesus would behave the way you do. Many things you may oppose were not around in Jesus’ time, or, at least, they were not done openly.
Regardless, Jesus never espoused hatred in any form. His teachings would tell us, or should tell us, to embrace differences among us and live in peace.
Many who want the Ten Commandments posted in every public school classroom would do well to abide by all those commandments.
Peter
WHAT ‘;SHOULD BE’ AND WHAT ‘IS’ IN LIFE
#marriage #divorce #children #HowLifeShouldBe #dreams #goals
The song came out in 1971.
The lyrics talked of marriage, divorce and how we were all taught about what life “should be.”
Carly Simon’s “That’s the Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” had an eerie melody and profound lyrics.
During that decade, most people were told to go to college, get a career, settle down, get married and have children.
The lessons date to when parents of those young people were young themselves. Though they may not have gone to college, their parents taught them to get a good job, settle down, get married and have kids.
Some in the 1970s rebelled at such a life. They went off to “find themselves.” They actually fought, so as not to become like their parents.
Even though their parents likely gave them a good upbringing and a memorable childhood, they did not want to become like them.
They felt such a life was confining, too routine and even prisonlike.
They wanted to be “free.” They wanted to see the world. They wanted to explore new things.
Certainly, some, as Simon’s song points out, did what they were taught. But, the result was lots of fighting, even divorce.
It’s often difficult for some people, young or older, to figure out who they are and what they want.
For others, there was no question.
For some of those indecisive folks, they’ll know who they are and what they want when it comes to them. It’s as if they are waiting for a message from above to guide them.
For the more decisive, it’s a matter of doing what one needs to do to get what one wants. Often, that can take time and lots of effort. Plus, much like for the indecisive, things have to go right along the way. Good fortune comes to those who prepare to receive it.
The lesson here is not to necessarily dismiss what your parents taught you, but to compile those teachings with a body of your own thoughts.
Sometimes, some things will just feel right. Other times, that right feeling has to be created.
Another important lesson is to enjoy the journey of life. You probably won’t remember how you were at the end of the journey, but you will certainly remember the milestones along the way.
A third lesson is to prepare for your entire life. Decisions one makes when he or she is young will benefit – or not – what happens to him or her in later years. Every thought or action should involve thoughts of how that thought or action will impact one’s future.
So, as the Simon song laments, don’t necessarily be what you always heard you should be. Find what pleases you. Create goals and a path to get to them. Things may happen for a reason you don’t know at the time, so react properly to them to stay on, or get back to, your path to success.
Your path always may not be in a straight line. Some of those twists and turns can be beneficial. Regardless, they should always be memorable.
Peter
The song came out in 1971.
The lyrics talked of marriage, divorce and how we were all taught about what life “should be.”
Carly Simon’s “That’s the Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” had an eerie melody and profound lyrics.
During that decade, most people were told to go to college, get a career, settle down, get married and have children.
The lessons date to when parents of those young people were young themselves. Though they may not have gone to college, their parents taught them to get a good job, settle down, get married and have kids.
Some in the 1970s rebelled at such a life. They went off to “find themselves.” They actually fought, so as not to become like their parents.
Even though their parents likely gave them a good upbringing and a memorable childhood, they did not want to become like them.
They felt such a life was confining, too routine and even prisonlike.
They wanted to be “free.” They wanted to see the world. They wanted to explore new things.
Certainly, some, as Simon’s song points out, did what they were taught. But, the result was lots of fighting, even divorce.
It’s often difficult for some people, young or older, to figure out who they are and what they want.
For others, there was no question.
For some of those indecisive folks, they’ll know who they are and what they want when it comes to them. It’s as if they are waiting for a message from above to guide them.
For the more decisive, it’s a matter of doing what one needs to do to get what one wants. Often, that can take time and lots of effort. Plus, much like for the indecisive, things have to go right along the way. Good fortune comes to those who prepare to receive it.
The lesson here is not to necessarily dismiss what your parents taught you, but to compile those teachings with a body of your own thoughts.
Sometimes, some things will just feel right. Other times, that right feeling has to be created.
Another important lesson is to enjoy the journey of life. You probably won’t remember how you were at the end of the journey, but you will certainly remember the milestones along the way.
A third lesson is to prepare for your entire life. Decisions one makes when he or she is young will benefit – or not – what happens to him or her in later years. Every thought or action should involve thoughts of how that thought or action will impact one’s future.
So, as the Simon song laments, don’t necessarily be what you always heard you should be. Find what pleases you. Create goals and a path to get to them. Things may happen for a reason you don’t know at the time, so react properly to them to stay on, or get back to, your path to success.
Your path always may not be in a straight line. Some of those twists and turns can be beneficial. Regardless, they should always be memorable.
Peter
NEW PARENTING STRATEGIES: LESS FIRM, MORE INCLUSIVE
#parenting #ParentingStrategies #children #ChildrensAnxieties #depression
Children significantly are more anxious and depressed than they were five years ago.
So says a March article in JAMA Pediatrics,. The article was quoted in Nedra Rhone’s “Real Life” column published October 6, 2022, in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
Much of this anxiety is attributable to the pandemic, but, as Rhone points out, anxiety in children from birth to age 17 has been on the rise long before COVID-19.
In fact, she points out, from 2016 to 2019, children’s anxiety increased 27 percent and depression increased 24 percent, quoting data from a study from the National Survey of Children’s Health.
Parents and caregivers have suffered a steady decline in well-being over the past five years, she quotes from that study.
Shefali Tsabary has advocated for a parenting style that dispenses with traditional paradigms featuring control, fear and punishment, Rhone writes. Tsabary has a doctorate in clinical psychology and specializes in blending Western psychology and Eastern philosophy.
“What children really need from parents is not a laundry list of rules, and overload of shame and guilt or feeling silenced and oppressed. Children need to feel seen, to feel worth and to know that they matter for who they are rather than their accomplishments,” Rhone writes from Tsabary’s work.
There is much to unpack here, but suffice it to say that the old way of parenting apparently is not cutting it with kids today. In past decades, parents told kids what they expected of them. They may have even told them how they were going to live their lives as adults. Kids who fought such instruction were considered rebels, or something worse.
When some parents were children, rigor was all they knew. Disappointing Mom and Dad was taboo, even though Mom and Dad wanted them to be something they weren’t, or did not want to be.
Certainly, children need to be taught right from wrong. After all, some things are indisputably right, and indisputably wrong. But today, right and wrong have much gray area between them. Children should be allowed, with perhaps some limitations, to explore that gray area and decide for themselves what, to them, is right and wrong.
Kids should have some freedom to “be kids,” again with appropriate limitations. As they navigate childhood, they will make decisions for themselves AND accept consequences for those decisions.
Some will want to be like their parents. Some will want to be completely different from them as they grow.
If they want to be different from their parents, or what their parents expect from them, it likely is not from a lack of love of parents.
Parents, therefore, should encourage children to be who they want to be, with appropriate warning about the pitfalls of pursuit.
Perhaps that will make them less depressed or anxious. Parental and academic requirements can be overwhelming. Parents should strive to encourage their children, while trying to ease their burdens. Parents may not think burdens on children are a big problem, but they can be bigger than many realize.
Raising children in an atmosphere of encouragement rather than rigor may keep many from developing conditions that can be debilitating for life.
Peter
MANY COUPLES DON’T WANT CHILDREN
#childfree #parents #children #ChildbirthDecisions #MarriedCouples
Traditionally, a person grows up, gets married and has children.
That person becomes a part of the typical American family.
But a Michigan study has discovered that many adults don’t want to be parents.
An article on the study, written by Zachary P. Neal, associate professor of psychology at Michigan State University, and Jennifer Watling Neal, psychology professor at Michigan State, was published Aug. 17, 2022, in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
The article says many people decide relatively early in life whether they want to be parents.
In fact, the article quotes the study, 21.64 of adults studied say they do not want children.
The study determined that a person was “childfree” if they answered “no” to whether they have ever had children (biological, adopted or step-children), whether they plan to have children in any of the three categories and whether they wished they had, or could have, children.
The study also breaks down the types of people in the category: “Childfree” people don’t want children; “childless” people want children, but can’t have them; “not-yet-parents” want children in the future; “undecided” people aren’t sure whether they want children; and “ambivalent” people aren’t sure they would have wanted children.
The study also says that under-population is not a problem. Despite the relatively high percentage of people in the Michigan study who don’t want children, the global population will continue to grow, the article says.
Having children is, and should be, an option for everyone. Parents of previous generations urged their children to at least “replace themselves” with children of their own.
For certain people, that may not be an option, physically. For others, it may be a decision based on other burdens in life. Still, for others, it may just be a matter of personal choice.
These people should not be criticized for their decisions. Very often, critics of such people have no idea what that person, or that couple, may be dealing with.
The article points out that workplace policies on work-life balance also favor parents. “We believe the needs of (the childfree group) warrant more attention from policymakers,” the authors write.
Having children should not be considered an obligation. Many parents of past decades lay guilt trips on their children for not producing grandchildren for THEM.
Of course, grandparents may love grandchildren, but they get to send them home, in most cases.
In short, children should be sent home with parents who WANT them, and are willing to put in the necessary work to raise them.
The article also points out that people who don’t want children are told they may change their minds down the road. That appears unlikely, the article says.
So, have children only if you want. If you do, have only as many as you want. But, if you don’t want to, that’s OK, too.
Peter
CHILD-CARE WORKERS IN DEMAND
#ChildCare #Child-CareWorkers #ChildCareInDemand
They are using non-compete clauses, college tuition incentives and non-refundable wait-list fees.
Are these engineers or scientists? No, child-care workers.
There is a child-care workforce crisis – at least in Seattle, where Sally Ho based her article for the Associated Press. The article was also printed in the Sept. 9, 2018, edition of The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
The situation basically goes like this: the booming economy is encouraging child-care workers to leave their highly demanding, low-paying jobs for other positions.
And, at least in Seattle, the demand for child-care programs is booming, the article says.
What are the child-care providers doing? They are requiring and enforcing non-compete clauses for their workers. To raise money to increase salaries, they are requiring families to pay fees to get on a wait list, the article says.
Child-care workers in the U.S. make less than parking-lot attendants and dog walkers, the article quotes Marcy Whitebook, co-director of the University of California, Berkeley’s, Center for the Study of Child Care Employment.
“If you can’t get workers to do the job, then it’s hard to expand the supply. And when the economy is good, that’s when you need to expand the supply,” the article quotes Whitebook.
In 2017, there were 132,000 more children up to age 6 in Washington state who could use formal child-care arrangements, compared to the number of available child-care slots, the article quotes
Child Care Aware, and advocacy group.
Two-thirds of all children up to age 6 have parents who are both working. Some child-care centers are so popular in Seattle, New York and San Francisco that parents pay to get on waiting lists while still trying to conceive, the article quotes Whitebook.
Research show children who attend good preschools are better off as adults, with higher incomes and healthier lifestyles, the article says.
The obvious answer here is to make child-care work more desirable by increasing workers’ pay. But there’s a delicate economic reality: there’s only so much most parents will pay for child care. If the cost of child care is the same, or exceeds, one of the parent’s salaries, it makes no sense for that parent to work – at least economically.
When looking deeper, the solution for parents is for at least one parent to have more time flexibility, while still earning money. Time flexibility, plus money, equals choices for parents. If they WANT to send their child to a day-care facility or preschool, they can. If they want to keep them home until kindergarten, they can.
There are many vehicles out there that parents can utilize to build more time into the family, while still earning a potentially greater income than many W-2 jobs pay. To check out one of the best such vehicles, message me.
Meanwhile, if you are a child-care worker, particularly in an expensive urban area, and you like your job, know that you are in demand. Don’t hesitate to ask for a raise, if you believe you are not getting paid enough for what you do. Or, you, too, could use your non-working hours to supplement your income in a different way.
If you are parents, or parents-to-be, you may have to think outside the box to figure out how you are going to manage raising children with work. It may entail a whole new form of thinking on how the family can create time flexibility, with enough income to give that child (or children) the life they deserve.
If you now get paid only for time worked, imagine what you can do if you got paid by leveraging your time to give more of it to your family.
Peter
WHY ASIAN PARENTS HAVE THEIR KIDS’ BACKS IN SCHOOL
Why do students of East Asian descent do so well in school? Because parents are the primary educators.
So concludes Maureen Downey, education columnist for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Her column on the subject was published July 31, 2017.
While American parents are concerned with how engaging their child’s teacher is, how much homework their child will have and whether their child will be able to balance school and other activities, such as band or soccer, in East Asian countries, parents are worried about one thing: whether their child will learn, Downey writes.
The Asian children’s success will depend not only on their own effort, but that of their parents, she writes.
That difference may explain the performance gap between American students and those from East Asian countries, Downey writes.
According to a research scholar on East Asian education, this lagging performance by American students will not change unless we upend two beliefs: teachers are responsible for student achievement and parents play a supportive, rather than primary, role in their child’s education, Downey writes.
Cornelius N. Grove, author and researcher on East Asian education, has challenged the assumption that school performance is determined by innate aptitude, Downey writes. He says children bring – or don’t bring, in the case of some U.S. students – a receptiveness to learning and a moral and cultural imperative to excel, Downey writes.
Students who fail an algebra test here might say, “I’m just not good at math,” Downey quotes Grove. East Asian students use failure to figure out what they don’t know and redirect their study plan, Downey quotes Grove.
One could argue that while education is important, so are other things in life. The balance American parents look for in their children is a worthy endeavor. We want children to have a life, to do things that kids do, to enjoy growing up and not be put in a pressure cooker.
On the other hand, some parents can be too loosey-goosey, fret about the child’s self-esteem, etc.
Those old enough may remember when parents sent kids to school, let them figure out what to do, perhaps had one or two conferences a year with teachers and that was it. Some parents were disinclined, or perhaps even incapable, of helping with homework.
Still, “we have masses of young people (In the U.S) who aren’t able to do simple math, who have trouble reading a sentence,” Downey quotes Grove.
Yet, she quotes him, “we are not short of entrepreneurs in this country.” If your child is an entrepreneur, and is looking for something to apply that trait that could earn him potentially a lot of money, there are many vehicles out there that may fit him or her. To check out one of the best, message me.
The bottom line is that parents have to find the happy medium in which their child can excel in school, and still be a kid. The parents have to devote a higher priority on education, and not leave everything up to teachers and schools.
The children have to want to learn. A parent who cultivates a child’s desire to learn is parenting at its best. So let your kids be kids, let them do what they enjoy, yet still have focus on education. Perhaps the parents can take a leading role in increasing school performance of American children.
Peter
THE KING LEGACY, ADULTS, CHILDREN
#MLK #Selma #adultsandkids
Today, we honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
A question to ponder: if King came back today, what would he think about how we handled his legacy?
Beverly Keel, a columnist for The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville, raised this question in a Jan. 18, 2015, column. Keel was 2 when King was assassinated in 1968. But after seeing the movie “Selma,” she was struck when the movie ended by saying that King was only 39 when he died.
But, as she says, King led and acted as an adult. Yet, many in the world today act like children or adolescents. As Keel points out, even country music, once filled with truth-telling songs by Hank Williams and Kris Kristofferson, is now filled with songs that objectify women and celebrate intoxication.
Today, there is a wide gap between the economic haves and have-nots. How do you see this gap? If you are a have, do you hold what you have up so high that the have-nots will never reach it, then laugh as they jump up futilely trying to grab it? Or do you help those have-nots try to get what you have?
If you are a have-not, do you look at the haves with jealousy and envy, and whine that they have what you don’t have? Or, are you open to looking for ways to get what they have?
One option is a childish behavior. The other option is an adult behavior.
If you prefer an adult behavior, no matter your circumstance, one option is to visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau.
King’s battle is still being fought today. There are those who behave like children, who see King’s battle as a power struggle, fought with weapons. There are others who behave like adults, who know they are morally right, and carry on, often behind the scenes, to make things right.
As long as there are adults, and there are children, even morally right battles may never be won. Making things right will never be easy. But the adults will ALWAYS carry on peacefully, help others and often see their own success.
You can look at your own situation, your own life, and determine whether you are behaving as an adult or a child. You may not always see the adult solutions to every problem, but, as an adult, you are always looking for them. If you look hard enough, and take advantage of opportunities presented to you, you eventually will find the “adult” solution that suits you.
If you look at your situation, your own life, as a child, you will always look at others having what you don’t, complain profusely about it and hope those others get their due someday.
Remember, too, that adults want others to have what they have. Children do not.
King worked very hard, suffered greatly and put himself in harm’s way to do the adult thing. He indeed paid the ultimate price Perhaps his biggest regret is not living to see the fruits of his sacrifice.
What would he think if he came back today? What would you want him to think, if he came back today?
Peter
WHY DESIRE TO BE AVERAGE
#average
The country group Alabama’s song, “Cheap Seats,” is an anthem to average.
It talks about middle-sized towns, minor league baseball and a local band that is, “not that bad, and not that good.” But, the average guys love to dance after watching their minor-league game so the average band is just fine.
How great the “average” life is.
Many people look for politicians who are “average” people, but usually can’t find them.
You see, “average” people can’t afford to give up their average jobs that support their average lifestyles, on the chance that enough “average” people will vote them in.
So, as a substitute, the “average” folks look for politicians who can RELATE to “average” people.
This begs two questions: how do we define “average,” and why is it desirable to be “average?”
The definition of “average” is fluid. In our smarter, technologically advancing world, it changes by the second. We often desire to be average because it’s safe, comfortable and we’ve been told by our elders that “average” is good. It grounds us. It gives us security. It tells us not to take chances or risks. And, by the way, all the people we want as our friends are all “average.”
“Average” people raise good children. Hopefully, those children will become good, yet “average,” adults. Average people mind their own business and, if they are lucky, maintain a good, average life in old age.
With the fluid definition of “average,” might there come a day when we won’t want to be “average” anymore?
When might the day come that we become better than average, even “great,” without becoming different people?
We all want what the above-average people have, but the essence of our “averageness” makes us not want to jump out of our comfort zone to go for it. Those who do are no longer considered “average,” and may even be resented by most “average” people.
But, in most cases, as we elevate out of “averageness,” we become different people in the process. This begs a final question: is that a bad thing?
Perhaps we don’t want to elevate because our friends will resent us. Perhaps we don’t want to elevate because doing so will require us to do “uncomfortable” things. Perhaps we don’t want to elevate out of fear of disappointing those we love.
Make no mistake: those who elevate from average will become different people. That difference may be resented by some friends. But, in the elevation process, one may make many new friends. The discomfort one may have felt in the elevation process will not only subside, but also eventually become very comfortable. Confidence in achievement greatly mitigates discomfort.
If you want to elevate, but see yourself currently as “average,” there are many vehicles available to help you rise above “averageness.” For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You’ll see lots of “average” people who have indeed elevated.
It was said of the late Sen. Howard Baker of Tennessee, that he was like the Tennessee River: right down the middle in his political viewpoint. Sometimes, being right down the middle can accomplish more than being an “average” person.
Peter