#marriage #divorce #children #HowLifeShouldBe #dreams #goals
The song came out in 1971.
The lyrics talked of marriage, divorce and how we were all taught about what life “should be.”
Carly Simon’s “That’s the Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” had an eerie melody and profound lyrics.
During that decade, most people were told to go to college, get a career, settle down, get married and have children.
The lessons date to when parents of those young people were young themselves. Though they may not have gone to college, their parents taught them to get a good job, settle down, get married and have kids.
Some in the 1970s rebelled at such a life. They went off to “find themselves.” They actually fought, so as not to become like their parents.
Even though their parents likely gave them a good upbringing and a memorable childhood, they did not want to become like them.
They felt such a life was confining, too routine and even prisonlike.
They wanted to be “free.” They wanted to see the world. They wanted to explore new things.
Certainly, some, as Simon’s song points out, did what they were taught. But, the result was lots of fighting, even divorce.
It’s often difficult for some people, young or older, to figure out who they are and what they want.
For others, there was no question.
For some of those indecisive folks, they’ll know who they are and what they want when it comes to them. It’s as if they are waiting for a message from above to guide them.
For the more decisive, it’s a matter of doing what one needs to do to get what one wants. Often, that can take time and lots of effort. Plus, much like for the indecisive, things have to go right along the way. Good fortune comes to those who prepare to receive it.
The lesson here is not to necessarily dismiss what your parents taught you, but to compile those teachings with a body of your own thoughts.
Sometimes, some things will just feel right. Other times, that right feeling has to be created.
Another important lesson is to enjoy the journey of life. You probably won’t remember how you were at the end of the journey, but you will certainly remember the milestones along the way.
A third lesson is to prepare for your entire life. Decisions one makes when he or she is young will benefit – or not – what happens to him or her in later years. Every thought or action should involve thoughts of how that thought or action will impact one’s future.
So, as the Simon song laments, don’t necessarily be what you always heard you should be. Find what pleases you. Create goals and a path to get to them. Things may happen for a reason you don’t know at the time, so react properly to them to stay on, or get back to, your path to success.
Your path always may not be in a straight line. Some of those twists and turns can be beneficial. Regardless, they should always be memorable.
Peter
Tag Archives: dreams
DON’T LET OTHERS TAKE POWER OVER YOU
#power #”WomenTalking” #Oscars #ReligiousRestrictions #dreams #action
Imagine life in a religious enclave, in which men had total domination over women.
It got to the point that some men were physically attacking the women at will.
That is the premise behind the movie “Women Talking,” which won at 2023 Oscar for best adapted screenplay.
The movie is set in decades past in a village of deeply religious people. Even though the women were regularly attacked by men, they held fast to their religious beliefs. (One has to wonder about the attacking men’s religious beliefs).
As the attacks mounted, the women had to decide to stay and do nothing, stay and fight or leave. Many meetings and raucous debates ensued.
Ultimately, after much discussion, they left, with all the horses, wagons, livestock, food and other supplies, as the men slept.
The movie never shows how the men reacted when they woke up and found the women gone.
It may be hard to envision that scenario in modern times. But, pockets of such behavior undoubtedly exist today.
It begs the question: why was it such a difficult decision for the women to leave?
In the movie, part of the debate centered around their religious beliefs. Their village was the only life they knew, and they wondered whether they would ever go to heaven if they left. But they came around to realize that for a good life on earth, they had to go.
Have you ever been in a situation that you felt it difficult to escape, but also impossible to endure?
Life sometimes puts difficult decisions in our path. Sometimes, our difficulty in making a decision involves, as was the case in the movie, self imposed limitations.
We grow up in a certain household, with certain beliefs engrained in us. As we mature, we start to see that what we were told was, if not false, not realistic for our own purposes.
That may be why some parents encourage their kids to stay close to home. For if they venture out, they may discover other ways of life and adopt, if not embrace, them. They may even discover that they are not who their parents think they are.
Maturity brings a sense of self. One has to find that, and do what one needs to do to fulfill it.
If one endures hardship, he or she must find ways to eliminate it, or, at least, put a limit on what he or she has to endure. Some hardships may have good outcomes in the end, and one has to have the grit to take them on.
Your difficulties may not be as obvious as the ones faced by the women in the movie.
And, often, one may not have a way to avoid hardship befalling them. But, one always can find a way to eliminate, or at least mitigate, that hardship eventually.
It starts with discarding self-imposed restrictions that make very little sense as they relate to the hardship.
Then, one has to dream of what life could be. Once that dream is in place, figure out what you must do to achieve that dream.
Yes, it may involve taking drastic action – doing something you thought you would never do. You may be surprised that, once you take drastic action, it wasn’t hard to do as you thought. The women’s decision to leave in the movie was hard for them, but once they decided to go, they knew it was right for them.
In short, know who you are and remain true to yourself. Eliminate self-doubt and self-imposed restrictions on achieving what is right for you. If where you live is incompatible with life and safety, decide whether moving or fighting obstacles others impose on you is better for you. If moving seems a hard choice, try it and see how hard, or better, it will be.
Don’t let others claim power over you.
Peter
DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING?
#JazzSinger #opportunity #ChangingWorld #RegularJobs #schools
In the 1980 movie version of “The Jazz Singer,” Neil Diamond’s character’s father, played by Sir Laurence Olivier, tells him, to paraphrase: You have to know where you came from to know where you are going.
That’s a very loaded statement, as we’ll describe throughout. The background is that Olivier’s character wanted his son to be a cantor in the synagogue, not a “jazz singer” – or, in Diamond’s character’s case, a pop singer.
Olivier’s character had a proscribed life for his son. His son had other ideas.
Diamond’s character admits later in the movie that he knows where he came from, and now knows where he is going – to fulfill his dream of being a pop singer. He even decided to divorce the nice Jewish girl he married to connect with a woman who encouraged his dream. That woman was played by Lucie Arnaz.
This story illustrates how the children of the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s were raised. Their parents taught them to look for safety and security as they grew. They discouraged dreams. Meanwhile, schools taught kids, in large part, how to be good employees.
They taught this by establishing routines, enforcing schedules and enacting discipline for violating the norms. They were told when school would start, when it would break for recess and for how long, when it would break for lunch (and for how long) and when it would end for the day.
That would teach kids the rigor of regular employment. After all, regular employment was the goal every parent had for his or her children. Higher education goals came in later, but top priority was regular employment.
Today’s world turns that upside down. Thinking outside the box is generally rewarded, provided it’s done with good in mind. Kids that can solve problems, or make generational wrongs right, are considered successful.
Regular employment used to mean prosperity over time. Now, it barely signifies survival, in many cases. The once steady jobs are not so steady anymore, usually through no fault of the employee.
Companies have to be nimble. They have to find ways to succeed in a changing world. Sticking to long established routines just won’t cut it anymore.
So, where do you fit in? How are you going to find success in a world that changes by the minute?
Fortunately, if you are willing to work and are willing to check out something you may never have thought you would ever do, there are many ways to prosper, or at least augment your survival, that are available to anyone, regardless of education, experience or background.
To learn about one of the best such programs, message me.
We all, or at least most of us, know where we came from. That may have nothing to do with where we are going.
We were all taught that America was the land of opportunity. We just weren’t always encouraged to take advantage of opportunities available to us.
But we can ALL change that. We just have to be willing to look at different things. We all can’t be pop singers, but anyone with the talent can certainly go for that.
We may not want to sing the same tune our parents taught us. We may have to find a sheet of music that will suit us better in a world playing in a different key from our parents’.
Peter
GRIT VS. GRIFT
#grit #grift #success #dreams
There are some who succeed because of grit.
Others use grift to fein success.
One is an honest pursuit.
The other, not so much.
When one has grit, he or she goes for success honestly, often taking others with him or her.
When one uses grift, whatever success he or she attains is at the expense of others.
If you have, or cultivate, grit, you can do most anything your God-given talents will allow you to. Even without much talent, there are ways to achieve success simply through grit.
Some of those success methods depend upon you helping others.
Others involve using your talents to help, or entertain, others.
Grit involves giving and getting.
Grift involves only taking.
Some see no harm in a little grift. Others would never think of being a grifter.
Grift, coincidentally, rhymes with drift. Grifters drift from thing to thing looking for grift.
Both grit and grift involve determination. Grit involves determination worthy of human endeavor. Grift involves a more sinister determination.
So, are you going through life with grit, or are you grifting?
If the former applies, and you are eager for a way to apply your grit, there are many vehicles out there that, regardless of education, experience or background, can allow you to achieve the success your determination desires.
To learn about one of the best such vehicles, message me.
If you are a grifter, there is no place for you among these programs.
If you haven’t already, learn to cultivate grit. Regardless of your circumstances, desires and goals, grit will allow you to achieve what you want. Grit helps you grow as a person.
Of course, you can try to attain those results through grift, but you’ll be much less of a person for doing so.
So use your grit to cut through the grind. Find what might work as a method of achieving your dreams.
Don’t have dreams? Find some. Then, cultivate the grit to go after them.
Peter
BETTER TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART THAN SOMEONE ELSE’S
#FollowYourHeart #dreams #MeaningfulLife
“Following our hearts may involve quieting other voices that may want us to follow THEIR dream.”
So writes John Izzo in his little book, “5 Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die: The Key To Living a Happy and Meaningful Life.”
Izzo interviewed lots of people at various stages in their lives, to determine what their true meaning of life was.
Not only do people live differently, they die differently, Izzo learned.
“Some people end their lives with deep satisfaction and few regrets,” he writes. “Others die with bitterness or with sad resignation at the life they might have lived.”
In the book, he also urges people to give more than they take.
We all pursue life in different ways. Many of us have gotten advice from our parents to work hard, keep our noses clean and crave security.
Security, in the employment and financial world, is becoming more elusive. A job we thought might be there until we retire suddenly is not. Benefits we thought we would get throughout our work life might suddenly be taken away. Promises may be suddenly broken.
Circumstances will hit you, but they shouldn’t define you. And, a setback here or there should not keep you from pursuing YOUR dream. Remember that when you work for someone, you are helping him or her pursue HIS OR HER dream, which may or may not be in sync with pursuing yours.
If we want to, we can turn bad situations into good, and pursue our dreams. Have you ever been told to quit dreaming, that what you dream for yourself is not realistically achievable? Have you ever been told to stay with the tried and true, for security’s sake?
The tried and true may no longer exist, or may be temporary, or may soon go away. What then?
Be open to looking for other ways to achieve your dream. Be open to looking for other ways to help others achieve their dreams.
If you are, you may be able to deal with setbacks not only more easily, but with a smile.
What are those other ways to achieve your dream? There are many, but to learn about one of the best, message me. Learn how ordinary people with the courage to look for another way not only found it, but are thriving because of it.
Despite what others may tell you, dreaming is not only healthy, it’s encouraged.
It’s certainly OK to work for someone else while you pursue your dreams. If you do, live each day with purpose, and plan for the day that you can do what you want. For the courageous, that day will come sooner rather than later.
Izzo’s interviewees talked about taking risks. While we may have been told to avoid risks, those who take risks generally achieve their dreams sooner. Besides, in today’s climate, taking risks is often necessary to survive. Escaping one’s comfort zone may be the only alternative for many.
So, have courage. Take risks. Take a look at an idea you may be inclined to avoid. You could see a whole new world, and your dreams may be lived sooner rather than later.
Peter
BOOK THE UNREALISTIC
#dream #TheUnrealistic #ReturnTheRealYou
Book the unrealistic, and return as the real you.
This statement’s meaning may not be obvious on its face, so let’s break it down.
Book the unrealistic means to prepare for your dream as if you were booking a trip.
The unrealistic part comes from all those dreams your parents, teachers and other influences on you as a child told you were out of reach for you. After all, you had to think practically, aim for the secure and go for the known, tried and true, quantity.
You may have been told you were silly to think you could be, say, an actor, musician, star athlete etc., or even be wealthy. You had to think in terms of getting a good job, with good benefits and stay there until you retire. You were expected to eventually have a spouse, children and other obligations that such security will help take care of.
Today, much of that secure reality is gone. So, why not book the unrealistic? What have you got to lose?
It may take a while to get to your unrealistic goal, so take pleasure in the journey. You’ve booked it, but you may not know exactly when you’ll get on the dream vehicle. You can reserve a date, but you may have to cancel and rebook if your date arrives, but your dream has not yet.
The great motivator Jim Rohn defines success as “a progressive realization of a worthy goal.” Progressive may be the key word here. The journey may take you steps toward your goal, and may even force you to step backward away from your goal for a time. Those may be the failures you will encounter on your journey.
The second part of the statement calls for a return as the real you. That means you’ve taken the journey, after booking your unrealistic goal, reached your goal and now must return.
The variable here is that you may not return to the home, security etc. that you left. You may return to a different home. To borrow from a John Denver lyric, you might be coming home, to a place you’ve never been before.
Hence, we use the word “return” to mean to come back from the journey to the unrealistic that you’d booked a while ago. Some journeys are so good, you may never come back from them.
Bottom line is that it’s OK to dream. It’s OK to have goals that others did not wish for you. As long as your goals are worthwhile, as Rohn says, don’t let anyone stand in your way.
Perhaps you are looking for a method, or a vehicle, to get you to your goal. That might mean being open for something to come into your life that may be totally different from the kind of good things that your influencers may have wanted for you. If you are looking for such a vehicle, message me.
Life journeys are not always smooth, and not always pleasant. There can be rough roads, turbulent air, flat tires etc. If you understand that mishaps can befall you, but you can still have your eyes on the unrealistic goals you have booked, you are at least halfway there.
You can take pleasure in the journey, overcome the rough patches, and return with a sense of accomplishment. Remember, too, that such journeys are better when you take others with you. Trips are usually better when taken with friends or family.
So book the unrealistic, and return as the real you. Don’t go it alone, bring others. Return with the sense that the journey, however long, was worthy.
Peter
DON’T LET DREAMS STOP AT CHILDHOOD
#dreams #dreaming #jobs #prosperity
“Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone.”
That lyric, from John Cougar Mellencamp’s little ditty, “Jack and Diane,” tells of two Midwestern teens who dream about breaking away from where they are, but come to grips with the fact that they might not.
“Hold on to 16 as long as you can,” the song urges.
If you are old enough to have lived in the 1950s, 1960s or 1970s, you’ve probably heard your parents discourage you from dreaming. If you are too young to remember those years, talk to your parents and grandparents about them.
Ask them how their lack of dreaming turned out for them.
Ask them what they would have done, had they been encouraged, even allowed, to dream.
Folks who lived through those years may be happy. They may even have everything they need to live out the rest of their lives in prosperity. For everyone in that situation, there is at least one, if not more, who is not.
For those who are not, the job they thought was going to be there for as long as they wanted it is probably gone. If they have found another job, it probably doesn’t pay close to what they earned in that lost job.
If you ask them what they have put away for retirement, it probably isn’t nearly enough. If you ask, they will probably tell you that they will have to work until they die.
If you ask them what they are passionate about, they may say “nothing.” Or, they may be passionate about something that isn’t necessarily going to improve their lives.
What are these folks to do,besides complain about their situation?
Are these people bitter about everything? Are they telling their children that the world is doomed? Are they so full of fear and doubt that it consumes them? Do they feel that there is absolutely nothing they can do about the way things are?
It’s certainly easy to feel that way, if you’ve been badly wronged through no fault of your own.
Though it’s easy to feel that way, it’s also easy to tell yourself that you don’t have to feel that way.
There are things in the world that one can do to get himself out of his funk, which may take him out of his comfort zone as well.
Complaining and blaming is easy. Finding solutions may be harder, but certainly not impossible.
There are many ways out there to ease your financial burden, and not have to worry about working a traditional, W-2 job, that you might hate, until you die.
For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You will find an alternative that, for those who really want to better their lives and are willing to make some sacrifices to do so, can potentially change one’s life for the better. And, one can help others do the same, should they choose action over contraction.
The future is bright for those who want to partake of the many blessings out there. If you are in a job you hate, or that isn’t paying you nearly enough for your efforts, look for a Plan B that can eventually get you out of it.
If you’ve lost your job, and don’t see any way of getting another one that will make you a decent living, explore other options. You’d be surprised at what’s out there, if you are willing to look for it.
In Mellencamp’s ditty, the teens seemed resigned to stay in their hometown and live a boring life. There is certainly nothing wrong with staying in your hometown if you like it there, but one does not have to live a boring life. “The thrill of living” comes from within. Build it. Nourish it. Keep it alive and thriving.
This also brings to mind the television ad about the “settlers,” who settle for cable TV instead of the alternative. Don’t settle for anything. There is too much out there to miss by settling.
Peter
CONFIDENCE, BELIEFS AND DREAMS
“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe. Anatole France
#dreams
Were you raised to believe you would only go so far?
Sure, your parents didn’t want you to be too cocky. And, to go where they have gone turned out pretty well for them, didn’t you think?
Then, you go through adolescence. You start to believe you can do anything, and usually try stupid things that get you hurt, or in trouble.
You recover from adolescence and get out of high school. Perhaps you tried to “find yourself,” by traveling around looking. That didn’t really work for you, so you settled down to college, the military or a job. Then, you start to believe that your parents were right. You start to follow their tried and true path. You got through a career and life didn’t turn out so bad.
But what if you want more out of life than just a job, a career, a family and friends? All of these things can indeed make for a great life, but they may not get you everything you dream about.
Oh, your parents discouraged you from dreaming? Perhaps you were told that dreaming was what drifters did. Or, perhaps, what those rich people do. You may have been told that settling down and doing what you know, or have been taught, is the best way.
Those who really make a difference in the world are dreamers. Those who innovate are dreamers. And, they don’t just dream. They go for their dreams in a big way.
They may defy conventional wisdom. Their “friends” may laugh at them. Or, perhaps, invite them back into their lives when they come to their senses. After all, your friends may believe that if we all stay together, the rut will not be bad at all. We can all long for 5 p.m. on Fridays, weekends, vacations etc., but the rest of the time, our nose is to a grindstone that is making the boss rich.
But some of us believe we are better than that. We use a job as a springboard. We use our jobs as a way to earn immediate cash, while we work on our dreams. We learn that we can ACHIEVE what we want eventually, no matter what happens to us.
How do we change, if we’ve been taught differently? First, we have to know why we are doing something. Money for the sake of money is not what we want. We want money to do things we want to do, to give to things we feel will make the world better and to live our dreams.
So you’re abuzz in thought. You think you can’t make a lot of money doing what you’re doing now. If that’s the case, you probably need to keep your job, but develop habits like saving and investing, as opposed to spending. It may take time to get what you want, but if your dream is big enough, you’ll be patient.
But, if you are willing to do something part time that will speed up the process, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Check out how other people just like you have amassed fortunes, without interfering with what they were doing at the time.
They had dreams that were powerful enough to choose a different path – for not settling for an ordinary life. You can do the same.
Once you allow yourself to dream, you can then act. You can plan, then believe. By combining your dreams, actions, plans and beliefs, you can achieve what you want.
Peter
WHAT IF …
Do you ever ask “what if?”
Chances are, if you do, you have cultivated the ability to dream.
If you don’t, you probably either don’t believe your life could change, or you accept things the way they are.
Ask yourself this: if you don’t believe your life can change, why do you feel that way? Do you believe your life is the way it is because of circumstances beyond your control? The better life goes to someone else because they were either born into it, or have lucked into it? The stars were aligned to benefit them, not you?
If you accept things the way are, are you happy with the way things are? If not, why do you accept them? Do you believe you don’t have the power to change them?
You DON’T have to accept things the way they are if you don’t like them.
You HAVE the power to change things, as long as you are open to change.
Perhaps your situation is not what you want, but it’s comfortable for you, or it’s all you know.
If you have a job you hate, but you can’t just quit, there’s a way out. It requires you to look at ways to make money other than working at a job you hate. Don’t quit your job yet, if you can’t. Just consider the many other income options available to you during some of the hours you are not at your job.
Some of those income solutions may appear uncomfortable at first, but if you really want to change your life, you may have to move outside of what’s comfortable. As you do that, the initial discomfort will slowly disappear.
Remember, too, that something worth having sometimes requires some discomfort. It might also require some extra effort. Laziness is not an option.
Do you think that some of these income options are not for you? Perhaps they aren’t. But just know that these options are available if YOU have the desire to change your life.
Don’t have that desire? Perhaps your life is not that bad. Perhaps your life might even be quite good. Perhaps you love what you do.
Here’s the rub: Some they love what they do, but it’s not paying the bills. Having a second income option could change that. They can do what they love, and still pay their bills — even boost their lifestyle.
So what are these income options? There are many excellent ones. To check out one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Perhaps it will encourage you to ask yourself, what if?
Perhaps you’ll be encouraged to dream. Perhaps you can do good, once you do well. Perhaps you can help others find and achieve their dreams.
There may be some discomfort. There may be some uncertainty. Perhaps there will be some extra effort required.
Soon, though, you’ll start to see that it was all worth it. You can dream, and help others dream. Soon. you won’t accept things the way they are.
Soon, your life WILL change.
Peter
YOU’LL NEVER BE …
When you were young, even now, were, or are, there people telling you that you’ll never be whatever it is you want to be?
Are they telling you to accept your station in life, even if YOU believe you don’t have to?
Are your (pick one: parents, relatives, teachers, friends) telling you that you should stop dreaming and start thinking practical thoughts — a job, with benefits, pension etc.?
Is all the talk about finding your passion being blown off by those closest to you?
First, there are some things you might never be. For example, to be an opera star, you have to have both the natural voice and the rigorous training. You might have the drive and passion to go through the training, but without the natural voice, it might be futile.
But, more likely, those close to you are telling you things like, “you’ll never be rich.” Or, “you’ll never go on a trip like THAT!” Or, “you’ll never live THERE!”
Perhaps you grew up in a working-class household. Your parents wanted a better life for you than they had, but their goals for you may have yet been limited. After all, they are working-class parents. They see what the kids of rich families have, and didn’t want you to aim too high. Parental wealth begets privileges and opportunities that you don’t have.
There is nothing wrong with the working class. We certainly need people to do certain jobs. They make the world a better place. But if you have something inside you that tells you that you can do better, don’t brush that aside. Don’t think yourself unwise to aspire higher than those close to you have mapped out for you.
Here’s the thing: in today’s world, having a traditional job is risky. Most in your parents’ world found safety and security in working for someone else who paid them a decent salary, benefits and pension. They made a life – even a good life – out of their 40-40-40 life. They worked their 40 hours, for 40 years and believed they could retire on the 40 percent of the income they earned. It may not have been a luxurious life, and there may have been things they believed they had to do without, but in their minds, things worked out.
Those set-for-life circumstances are hard to come by. Jobs come and go. Technology and cheap overseas labor are making the secure jobs of your parents’ era nearly impossible to find. A college education is certainly desirable, but, if college isn’t right for you, you should not be forced into it. You should not be forced into accruing the debt it takes to get through college. Depending on what you study in college, the time and work you spend on education may be as futile as operatic training without the natural voice.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t fulfill your dreams. With a computer, a good idea and a little knowledge of the Internet, you can do lots of things. Even without a lot of knowledge, you can do lots of things if you are willing to explore non-traditional income avenues. For a look at one of the best of those, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau . If you have the dream and the drive, and don’t want to listen to those who would limit you, you might find just the thing to change your life.
So when someone uses the words “you’ll never be …” referring to you, listen with the proverbial third ear. Are they saying you’ll never be … because they weren’t? Would THEY be more comfortable to see you limit your potential? Would it make THEM feel better if you followed their advice? If you hear that in your third ear, take heed. They may not necessarily be talking about YOUR best interests.
Remember that if you want something badly enough, unless you’re an opera buff without the voice or have some other God-given limitation that will keep you from certain pursuits, you can get it if you find the right thing to be passionate about.
If the naysayers try to stand in your way, tell them you are doing today what they won’t, so you can do tomorrow what they can’t.
Peter