“The difference between a successful person and others is not the lack of strength, not the lack of knowledge, but, rather, the lack of will.
Vince Lombardi
#motivation #desire #happiness
You’ve heard lots of talk about discipline.
What you don’t always hear about is the link between desire and discipline.
Some people know exactly what they want from life. Others really haven’t a clue, except for some superficial desire for money, power or some other thing in the abstract, especially when they see that others have what they don’t.
Those in the first category usually not only know what they want from life, but also find a way to get it, even if it means having to do some uncomfortable things before they get it.
Those in the other group will search for contentment, probably never find it in absolute terms and complain that they are not getting it. Many of us know these people. They work at a job, or in a certain place, they make a living and make the best of what life gives them. They realize it’s not enough and are envious of those who have more. Envy is a profound energy waster. It will produce nothing, but will gradually drain one’s physical and mental resources.
Those in the first group look at others’ accomplishments as goals for themselves. They don’t waste energy on envy, resentment and other worthless emotions. They focus their energy on what they need to do to achieve what they desire.
It’s difficult, but not impossible, to convert from one type of person to the other. It’s not easy for an envious person to be self-reflecting. It’s not easy for a motivated, discipline person to sink to the level of the envious, providing he doesn’t listen to what the envious tell him.
But let’s just say an envious person has an epiphany, the same way an addict gets the message that he needs to stop. When that happens, the envious person learns that he DOESN’T have to accept things as they are. He learns there IS a way he can better his life, even, perhaps, without interfering with what he is doing.
What might cause this? Desire! One must realize that he would like something in life strongly enough to make changes, to discipline himself to do what he needs to. Just as the addict might one day say, NO MORE, and mean it, the envious person might find the desire that has been missing. He might realize that contentment is not the same as happiness. He might discover something inside him that will make him want to change.
It’s easy to be fooled by procrastinators. They will talk eloquently about what they will do tomorrow, but that tomorrow is long in coming. They realize contentment isn’t so bad. The person truly converted from envious starts immediately. He doesn’t necessarily look for things to happen quickly, but he performs activities needed to change his life
Are you an envious, contented procrastinator? Or do you want more from life than what you have, and are willing to do what you need to get it? If so, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. See firsthand how people motivated by what they want can get it. Then, see how motivated people help other motivated people do the same.
They had, or discovered, a discontent with a contented life. They didn’t want to wait for something to happen. Instead, they did what they had to do to make it happen.
Another characteristic of motivated people is that they can lose everything, and know they can get it all back. Instead of settling for contentment, they strove for true happiness, and helped others do the same.
Peter
Author Archives: pbilodeau01
BE AN INVESTOR MORE THAN A CONSUMER
#retirement #investments #saving
Investing for retirement need not be scary.
It also need not be impossible, no matter your income, age or situation.
Also, a secure retirement happens because of actions YOU take, not what someone else promises to give you.
Nanci Hellmich discussed investing for retirement, based on Tony Robbins book “Money: Master the Game; 7 Simple Steps to Financial Freedom,” in an article published Dec. 10, 2014, in USA Today.
Before getting to Robbins’ seven steps, let’s examine your plans for retirement. Do you believe you have to work until you die? Are you saving regularly out of each paycheck? Did you get so financially hammered during the Great Recession that your retirement is doomed? Did you lose your job in the Great Recession, forcing a premature retirement?
Let’s presume you are still working, even if you are working in a job that underpays you – that’s a growing trend these days. Find an amount, it doesn’t have to be much, that you can take out of each paycheck and put away. You have to look at it occasionally to monitor how your investment is doing, but don’t withdraw it until you retire.
If you are forced to retire before you want to, or are financially able to, try not to eat into that fund too quickly. It’s OK to use the dividends, interest etc., for income, but try to hold onto your principal as long as you can.
Robbins’ first two steps, Hellmich’s article says, is to become an investor rather than a consumer and to know what you are invested in. The former is a mindset. When money gets into your hands, you have to first think about paying yourself, before you think about what you will buy. The latter may require some good advice from someone you trust who will look out for your interests before his own.
Robbins third and fourth steps involve taking action. Don’t be afraid to start a retirement fund because you believe you’ll never have enough money in it to retire. If you are young, calculate what you think you’ll need to retire comfortably, and save accordingly. Then, evaluate your asset allocation, which is a big term for knowing how your money is invested. You may take more risk as a young investor, and perhaps change that allocation to more income-producing vehicles later in life, Hellmich quotes Robbins.
Again, the latter may require some help, but you can help yourself by figuring out ways you can save your money.
The last three Robbins tips again involve your thought process. You have to create a lifetime income plan, and believe you can be among the wealthy. Once you get there, enjoy the sacrifices you have made. “Start where you are, and you’ll begin to find out that there’s more than enough wealth for you,” Hellmich quotes Robbins.
If you are still a child, develop that savings and investment mindset early. If you have change in your pocket at the end of the day, put it in a jar. When the jar is full, take the coins to your local bank and put them in your own savings account. Don’t touch the money until at least when you go to college, or go to work after high school.
As an adult, you will already have the right mindset, and can get more sophisticated about saving and investing for retirement.
Lastly, you may be older, approaching retirement, fearful you don’t have enough money. There are many ways out there to solve this problem. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Check it out with friends in the same situation.
Then, all of you can watch your retirement accounts blossom.
Peter
HIGHER EDUCATION HAS TO CHANGE, OR ELSE …
#highereducation #college #tenure
You’ve heard many times that nothing is more constant than change.
Yet, higher education is either slow to recognize the need to change, or just refuses to.
Greg Charleston, a CPA, certified turnaround professional and senior managing director at Conway Mackenzie Inc., discussed this in a column in the Oct. 20, 2014, edition of The Atlanta Journal-
Constitution.
Charleston likens higher education’s story to that of Willy Loman, the lead character in Arthur Miller’s play, “Death of a Salesman,” a reading staple in college literature classes. Willy was slow to adapt to change, as is the current higher education model.
As Charleston points out, the availability of student loans made demand for higher education constant, despite changes in the economy. Also, parents never wavered from the belief that a good education was the key to their child’s future, and did whatever they had to do to make sure their kids went to college.
Now, as Charleston says, government funding is shrinking. Students don’t want to be saddled with debt, especially if they see that their older colleagues are graduating into a shrinking job market. What good is a great education if a student can’t parlay it into a good job, so that they can pay off that massive debt?
Also, Charleston says, more students are opting for non-traditional study – online courses – eschewing the traditional campus life many thought would be so much fun. Yet, many colleges are relying on their reputations to stay alive. One learns quickly that he cannot eat prestige for breakfast.
Charleston suggests alternatives to keep up with the times. He suggests some colleges and universities merge, or offer online alternatives. They need to find ways to scale back costs to keep it affordable to most students.
Perhaps, the really good teachers and professors will need to record their lectures and classes, to make them available universally in the academic world. Academic tenure, as is happening in the corporate and professional world, may soon be a thing of the past.
Parents also need to know their children. They need to ask, is college really right for my son or daughter? It’s OK to answer NO to that question. It won’t mean they will not have a future. In fact, there are many ways to ensure a great future for children without a college education. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You may find a great way to ensure a marvelous future without the debt and other headaches of getting a child through college.
Those students taking on college may also find a great Plan B, in case their careers after college get off to a slow start.
Higher education, like other facets of life, has to adapt to a changing world. It has to realize that dollars are limited, that there are other ways to get educated and that it may not be a universal path to a great future for young people.
It’s nice to have a great aura or reputation about you. But it’s better to keep one’s doors open.
It’s nice to have a faculty position that will never go away, as long as you want it. But if the whole institution disappears, that position can’t help but go away.
So, to all students, pursue your dreams as you see fit. Study what you must to get to those dreams. But keep in mind that there is more than one route to those dreams. Find the route that fits you best.
Peter
TIME, DISCIPLINE AND RESOLUTIONS
#newyearsresolutions #time #discipline
Why do so many of us abandon our new year’s resolutions?
Rory Vaden, cofounder of Southwestern Consulting and a self-discipline strategist and speaker, says it may not just be a lack of self-discipline. It may be a lack of time.
Vaden discussed the topic in a Jan. 11, 2015, column in The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
It’s easier to get to the gym when your house is clean and your bills are in order, he says. It’s easier to eat healthy when you don’t feel so rushed you have to cram some fast food down in 20 minutes, Vaden points out.
So let’s tackle time, or lack of it, that most say is their biggest problem in life.
Time is choice. Sure, most of us MUST go to work. Those who have children MUST tend to their needs etc. Oh, and we MUST sleep – or at least most of us do.
But there are many other hours in which we do things that are not MUSTS. There may even be some hours we do things we believe are musts, but may not be.
Some of us take time doing things, then ask ourselves, why did I waste my time doing that?
Some of us decide that we can’t do something that may be good for us, because we don’t have time. Others make time to do something good for themselves.
Vaden believes that if you want to achieve your goals in 2015, you have to intentionally decide what you won’t do that has taken up your time.
In short, resolutions require a time commitment. You have to determine whether what you spend your time on is worth your time, or could your time be spent doing something better for you.
Let’s take the food example. If you are wolfing down fast food at lunch because your boss gives you no time for lunch, try bringing healthy food to work with you. You’ll eat better and save money. If cleaning your house takes up too much of your time, there’s the option of hiring someone to do it. Chances are, that person can clean your house much more quickly than you, because he or she cleans houses for a living and has the process down to a science.
How can you hire a housekeeper when you are barely getting by yourself? There are many ways to pick up extra income, often without interfering with what you are doing now. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You might not only find a way to pay your housekeeper, but also you will be using your time more productively.
Often, those who use their time most wisely have cultivated the ability to say, NO! Sometimes we are backed into a corner and say yes when we want to say no. Perhaps the person whose feelings you don’t want to hurt would rather hear no, than a reluctant yes.
Vaden also talks about procrastination vs. patience. Sometimes, waiting for a better time to do something can be a virtue. Putting off things you should do kills success, he says.
So, if you haven’t already, make those resolutions: Live healthier. Know what to do to prosper, and do what you must to make it happen. If you are unsure about the latter, be open to looking for the answer, and recognize it when you see it. Your patience could pay off.
Peter
THE KING LEGACY, ADULTS, CHILDREN
#MLK #Selma #adultsandkids
Today, we honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
A question to ponder: if King came back today, what would he think about how we handled his legacy?
Beverly Keel, a columnist for The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville, raised this question in a Jan. 18, 2015, column. Keel was 2 when King was assassinated in 1968. But after seeing the movie “Selma,” she was struck when the movie ended by saying that King was only 39 when he died.
But, as she says, King led and acted as an adult. Yet, many in the world today act like children or adolescents. As Keel points out, even country music, once filled with truth-telling songs by Hank Williams and Kris Kristofferson, is now filled with songs that objectify women and celebrate intoxication.
Today, there is a wide gap between the economic haves and have-nots. How do you see this gap? If you are a have, do you hold what you have up so high that the have-nots will never reach it, then laugh as they jump up futilely trying to grab it? Or do you help those have-nots try to get what you have?
If you are a have-not, do you look at the haves with jealousy and envy, and whine that they have what you don’t have? Or, are you open to looking for ways to get what they have?
One option is a childish behavior. The other option is an adult behavior.
If you prefer an adult behavior, no matter your circumstance, one option is to visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau.
King’s battle is still being fought today. There are those who behave like children, who see King’s battle as a power struggle, fought with weapons. There are others who behave like adults, who know they are morally right, and carry on, often behind the scenes, to make things right.
As long as there are adults, and there are children, even morally right battles may never be won. Making things right will never be easy. But the adults will ALWAYS carry on peacefully, help others and often see their own success.
You can look at your own situation, your own life, and determine whether you are behaving as an adult or a child. You may not always see the adult solutions to every problem, but, as an adult, you are always looking for them. If you look hard enough, and take advantage of opportunities presented to you, you eventually will find the “adult” solution that suits you.
If you look at your situation, your own life, as a child, you will always look at others having what you don’t, complain profusely about it and hope those others get their due someday.
Remember, too, that adults want others to have what they have. Children do not.
King worked very hard, suffered greatly and put himself in harm’s way to do the adult thing. He indeed paid the ultimate price Perhaps his biggest regret is not living to see the fruits of his sacrifice.
What would he think if he came back today? What would you want him to think, if he came back today?
Peter
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT WORK?
#work #careers #retirement4
Chances are, if you ask someone on his death bed what he wished he had done more of, he wouldn’t say “work.”
But Rory Vaden, cofounder of Southwestern Consulting and best-selling author of “Take the Stairs,” says, “work is integral, work is freedom, work is joy.”
If one asks his elders about work, he would hear things like, “I worked hard all my life.” Or, “you don’t get anywhere in this world without hard work.”
For many of us, if we look today at what we do for work, we can’t wait to be financially able to quit working, relax and do other things that we don’t consider work.
But Vaden, who discussed this in a Nov. 16, 2014, column in The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville, says the idea of “retirement,” and “leisure,” are changing.
We can see that in today’s world, without looking very far.
The idea of working at a job for 30 or 40 years, then suddenly “retiring” to do “nothing,” are pretty much gone. Today, many people are being “retired” before they want to be.
Staying at one job, or one company, for even 10 years is difficult because companies reorganize often, and bad managers are career killers.
We all would love to have jobs we enjoy, but we all know someone has to do the job no one wants to do.
If you happen to find a job you love, you are blessed. If that job lasts you most, or all, of your career, you are unusual.
Retirement planners tend to look not only at financial issues, but also whether a person is ready to retire. If you had all the money in the world, what would YOU do in retirement? As tempting as relaxation is, it will get old. When it does, boredom is not a pleasant condition.
Vaden quotes Timothy Keller, author of “Every Good Endeavor,” who quotes the Bible: “The book of Genesis leaves us with a striking truth – work is paradise.”
For many, work is paradise only if you don’t have work, and you need work. But, on the other hand, to paraphrase Vaden, whom do you know who hasn’t worked, or doesn’t work, who is worth looking up to?
Our work is part of who we are. It can also consume us. Yet, for most, work has a purpose in life, but it is NOT our whole life. Those who see work for what it is, and use it to make a good life, are perhaps the happiest of us.
The lesson here is to use your work to make you better person. If you are young, prepare for the day when your job disappears. You will probably never know when that day will be.
One way to prepare for a job to go away is to have a Plan B. There are many such Plan Bs out there. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You can work at Plan B when you are not working at your job. If you work at it correctly, you can eventually fire your awful boss.
Vaden asks, “why do we subscribe to this myth that our lives would be much better if we had less work?”
The answer to that is different for everyone. But, when you arrive on your death bed, try to have as few regrets as possible. We should all work at minimizing our regrets.
Peter
LIVES OF ORDER, BOREDOM
#lifeisgood #UnchainTheElephant #findyourpassion
“I had been seduced into a life of little conviction – a logical, systematic existence. My best talents had been buried beneath well-intentioned, but ultimately lifeless rules, meant to hem me into the corporate fabric.”
Erik Wahl
Life is good.
It is. Really. But for some, a “good life” is not enough. They have been taught what a “good life” is, and they live by what they are taught. Yet, they long to do something else — something their parents, teachers, preachers and bosses would never advise them to do.
Erik Wahl, in his book “Unchain the Elephant: Reframe Your Thinking to Unleash Your Potential,” compares an elephant’s behavior in the wild, vs. an elephant’s behavior in captivity. He points out that elephants that are born in captivity are chained to trees and posts. When they test the chain, and realize they can’t go anywhere, they eventually learn that they are not supposed to go anywhere. As a result, the tether becomes unnecessary and the captors need not fear the elephant will take off.
Wahl was told at a young age by a teacher that art was not his strength. He quickly became conditioned to believe that he would never be an artist. Yet, eventually he became a well-known graphic artist – but only after he got good grades, played by the rules and had a great corporate career.
“I gave away my freedom at a young age,” Wahl says.
Many of us want to please our elders. They purport to know what is best for us. So, as children, we listen, obey and are guided to a “good life,” whether we like it or not. Our elders truly believe they are only after our best interest.
But what if adulthood comes, and we find that though life is “good,” something is missing. How many people can, like Wahl, reflect on that, THEN take the steps to unleash a passion. Without passion, we go through the motions of life. Those motions may lead us to good things, but it is like pedaling a stationary bike. You might be making progress toward good health, but you are not going anywhere. Life is so good where you are, you believe, there is no need to go anywhere?
We all learn to take pleasure in little things. We are told to stop and smell the roses, as the song goes, but not if it’s going to delay your next work project. Completing work projects gives you the money to make life “good.”
What if you could make money without completing such projects? What if money came to you while you were stopping to smell the roses?
What if you could pursue your passion without worrying about making a living? Believe it or not, there are many ways out there to do that. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. If you can be financially successful pursuing your passion, as Wahl and others have done, that’s a gift. But many need a financial cushion to give them the time to pursue a passion.
Are you a chained elephant? Are you an elephant without the chain, who has been taught never to escape? Is what you have learned about creating a good life enough for you? If so, your stamina is to be admired. If not, and have a passion you might not dare pursue, think about the chained – and tame, unchained – elephant. With instincts marginalized, it has everything it needs for a “good” life.
Go wild, if you dare. You just might find a great escape.
Peter
HAPPY NEW YEAR! WHERE ARE YOU?
#newyear #happynewyear #jointheride
The new year is coming this week. Do you know where you are?
Not your precise location, but where you are in life?
Better yet, do you know where you want to be? Is where you are en route to where you want to be, or are you currently off course, or lost?
If you’re off course, or lost, do you know what you need to do to get back on course? Do you see yourself never knowing where you are going, or even where you want to go?
Let’s start where you are, because it’s really the only place to start from.
If you are young, say 20-something, or 30-something, you are probably en route to somewhere. Do you have an idea of your ultimate destination? Your destination is all that’s important, because you’ll undoubtedly hit some bumps in the road, or turns that will get you off course. If you know that, you’ll know what you have to do to get back on course.
If you are fortunate enough to have a smooth ride to your ultimate destination, great. Chances are, though you won’t, so plan on unexpected diversions.
One way to combat diversions is to form good habits. If you like gooey desserts or snacks, forgo one a week. If you buy a cup or two of coffee a day, consider cutting out one or two a week. Better yet, make your own coffee at home and bring it with you. Same with any meals you might eat at work.
However you do it, figure out the money you are saving and PUT IT AWAY into a safe investment. Do the same with any raises you get at work, though these days, raises are scarce. Don’t touch what you’ve saved.Let it grow.
You’ll be surprised at how much money you’ll have at, say, age 50.
If you’ve reached 50 or higher, time is not on your side. But those same llitle things can still help you. Keep in mind, though that there are many vehicles out there that might help you make up lost ground. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Younger folks, too, may find a way to get to their destinations faster by exploring this option.
So take the time to figure out where you are, where you want to go and how you are going to get there.
Consider being an entrepreneur. For a good manual on how to do that, check out Darren Hardy’s book, “The Entrepreneur Roller Coaster.”
Regardless of what you do, plan for obstacles, but know your destination. And, know what you need to do to get there.
Happy New Year!
Peter
CELEBRATIONS AND STRESS
#holidaystress #celebrations #holidays #Christmas
No matter which holiday you celebrate this time of year, make sure you celebrate and have fun.
Often, though, this time of year is one of stress and, as Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay University in Tennessee calls them, “irrational thoughts.”
Steinberg, who discussed this in a column in the Dec. 21, 2014, edition of the Tennessean newspaper in Nashville, says we often feel that the pressure is on us to be perfect. We have to cook the perfect holiday feast or keep that perfect holiday cheer.
Quoting famed psychologist Carl Jung, “Perfection belongs to the gods; the most we can hope for is excellence,” Steinberg writes.
Trying to be perfect during the holidays is impossible, causing us to suffer instead of feel joy, Steinberg writes.
In other words, feel the joy, love and other goodness of the season. Strive to make the celebration as good as it can be, without overthinking things. If you enjoy baking, go ahead, but don’t make it feel like a project. If you hate to bake, don’t. Leave it to those who love it. Or, if you must have baked goods around, attend one of the many holiday bake sales at churches, schools etc. If all else fails, buy what you like at the store and be done with it. Don’t stress about it.
Don’t agonize over that perfect gift for someone. Find what you think someone will like, buy it and give it to the person whenever you open gifts. Unless you love to spend hours shopping and fighting crowds – many people do – if you see something you think someone might like or use, grab it, pay for it at the checkout counter and go. Don’t add irrational stress to the holiday experience.
Here’s the tough part of keeping holidays joyful. At least for a while, forget about your troubles. Yes, that’s certainly easier said than done, especially if you have just lost a loved one and have had some financial hardships. In the latter case, just do what you can and don’t feel compelled to overspend. Those who love you would rather see you joyful than stressful. It doesn’t matter to them what you can or can’t afford.
How do you forget about your troubles if you are overwhelmed by them? Think about what is good in your life, and be grateful for those things. Focus on those things during this season. It will enhance your joy and reduce your stress.
Steinberg goes on to talk about irrational beliefs vs. realistic ones. He suggests making a list of all your beliefs that put pressure on you, and ask whether the beliefs are grounded in reality. In many cases, what you believe is true, or believe you must do, is based on opinion rather than fact. If such beliefs are hurting your performance, or causing you unhappiness, it’s time to find more rational beliefs, Steinberg writes.
Perhaps it may be time to check out something that could change your life. There are many things you may, or may not, be aware of that could turn you into a joyful person. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You could find that fun way to relieve much of what stresses you.
Most importantly, have a joyful holiday season, and a prosperous new year. Examine your life and find out what is really important, and what is not. This should be a time of joy, not stress. It should be a time of celebration. Time with family, friends and life itself is certainly worth celebrating. Things don’t have to be perfect to be fun.
Enjoy. Celebrate. Live!
Peter
CHAIRS, COMFORT AND ADJUSTMENTS
#officechairs #adjustablechairs #comfortablechairs
Life is like an adjustable office chair.
You get to your work station and adjust your chair until it’s perfectly comfortable for you and, of course, ergonomically correct.
As your work station changes, your chair changes. Or, if you keep your same comfortable chair, and your work station changes, you readjust the chair. Simple, right?
So why do many have so much trouble adjusting to life changes?
Sure, readjustments in life are not as simple as those for a chair.
Still, they have to be done.
How dare anyone take away the comfort of your chair?
To be sure, they can, and they will.
This thought about chairs and comfort beg another question: are you SO comfortable in that chair that you not dare give it up willingly, even if something better came along?
Yes, certain comforts can be inhibiting. Sometimes, risking potential discomfort can make one even more comfortable eventually.
So, as you sit in your perfectly adjusted chair, what are you feeling right now? Are you so content that you fear disrupting that comfort? Are you anxious that someone else may disrupt it, and you can’t stop him? Have you worn enough of the padding from the chair that you are aiming to retire to your rocking chair, with the attitude: time served? Or, are you restless, bored and/or frustrated?
If you are, or believe you might be, part of that latter group, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You may see something you’ve never seen before, which could be uncomfortable. Or, you may see a potentially lucrative and fun new comfort zone.
Chairs, work stations and comforts can and will come and go. Just as you finally get comfortable in a new chair or work station, it could change. You have to decide whether the readjustments will be easy or hard. You have to decide that you will examine ALL adjustments before finding the right one.
Remember: life is an adjustable office chair. Find your comfort, realize it will be temporary and look for your next comfort zone.
May you not sit still as your chairs, or adjustments, change.
Peter