#workhard
We’ve all had friends who have, usually as they are leaving us, wishing us well and telling us not to work too hard.
Our parents, teachers, coaches and other mentors all tell us that hard work is required to get almost anything.
So why would our friends tell us not to work too hard?
Let’s forget for a minute work-life balance, and overwork-induced stress. Our friends don’t want us to work too hard because we might give our employers more than the employers are paying for.
Most good, conscientious people don’t want to be deliberately unproductive, or give less than they know they should. Most of them want to be as productive as they can be. Some will risk their physical and mental well-being to be so.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do things right, and pleasing your boss. But there should come a point at which one asks himself, who’s working for me? If I’m working for him or her, is he or she also working for me? If I am helping him or her get what HE or SHE wants, is he or she returning the favor?
Many people believe that they work for a paycheck. They get so busy doing that, they don’t even think about their own big picture. Sure, your boss might ask you in a performance review where you want to be in five years, 10 years etc. You give some pat answer, even if you KNOW you may not want to be in that place, doing what you are doing now, all those years later.
Even people who want to be doing something different in the future are so consumed by their circumstances that they not only can see no way out, but also they won’t even consider great alternatives that may be presented to them.
Those that do consider alternatives sometimes find great things that they never knew existed. To do that, one has to be willing to look. Serendipity is great when it happens, but, generally, one has to be willing to look for alternatives to find them.
If you believe your current situation needs to change, AND you are willing to see what might be out there to help you change it, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Some may not find what they are looking for there, but others may find just the thing. You may also find not only that you can work hard for you, but others will work hard for YOU!
Polls show people dismayed, pessimistic and downright hostile to the future. But, when one looks at facts, rather than conjecture, he will likely find many good things out there to be had. He will also see that he can HAVE them by doing something a little different.
In short, don’t work too hard for someone else. Work hard for you! Very few others will work for you. Do what you need to do to make your situation better. Complaining requires energy that you need to do what you need to do.
You don’t have to abandon what you have, but you may need to have a different attitude about it. Good, hard workers in bad situations know that the situation is only temporary. They know that one day, what they want will be theirs.
Have a good mind-set about any task you perform. Always believe that the future not only can be bright, but you will make it so.
So, work hard, but have a reason, besides a paycheck, to do what you are doing. Take steps to get control of your future – control that no one but you can take away.
Peter
Author Archives: pbilodeau01
RISK IS A GREAT TEACHER
#risk #failure
We have to start life somewhere.
When we do, our relationship with the future is, well, complicated.
Kate O’Neill, founder and principal of KO Insights, discussed this idea in a May 11, 2014, column in The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
O’Neill discussed a project she had worked on for a large firm. One of the executives asked her how long a particular feature would take. She told him eight months. He asked how sure she was in that projection. She answered, “70 percent.” He told her that the longer it takes to get something done, the more risk there is and the less certain we can be about it.
The lesson: “Every day could be your last,” O’Neill writes. “Whether it is or not, you can take intentional, meaningful risks today to build the future you might get to enjoy.”
We hear a lot of talk today about uncertainty, as if forgetting the old adage that the only things certain are death and taxes. Part of the uncertainty talk is about taxes, and the fear of rising taxes is keeping some potential employers from expanding, so they say.
No one can know what will come next, but it should never stop us from acting. If you know you have something good, go for it. If you are unsure that what you have is good, then it may be best to stop, think and evaluate. How can I make this idea that I THINK might be good a little clearer to me?
Fear, sometimes irrational fear, can sometimes prevent us from doing something that would be good for us. Don’t let fear, particularly irrational fear, stop you.
Don’t blow something off because you THINK you know it may hurt you, before determining for certain that it will. In other words, standing in front of a moving train certainly could hurt you, so don’t do it. But examining a new business venture, or interviewing for a job that you may not think you can do may benefit you. The worst that can happen is failure that you are certain to learn from. The best that could happen is a very positive life-changing experience.
You feel great when you’re “in the zone.” But if that zone is a comfort zone, be wary. The comfort could disappear, then what?
O’Neill writes that our complicated relationship with the future can make us live our days in a balance of hope and impatience. Have you ever told your (pick one: parents, spouse, teachers) that you are onto something big, and they ask you when you expect to achieve success? Though you would like it to be tomorrow, success often doesn’t come quickly. You may have an idea of a perfect time, but that perfect time may come and go. If you know what you have, and what you are doing, are good, don’t give up because your predicted timing has come and gone. As O’Neill says: “try, fail, learn adjust. Try, succeed, learn, adjust. Then, try, fail, learn, adjust” etc.
If you are open to looking for something that could give you the future you want, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You will see how others are living their dreams, and how you could, too.
If you fear uncertainty, learn that uncertainty is a way of life. But don’t avoid positive action because you fear the uncertainty. Take, as O’Neill calls them, meaningful risks. Step outside the comfort zone if the comfort has disappeared. You will survive. You could thrive, if you maintain the drive. Forget the fret. It wastes energy.
You may not know the perfect time, but it is out there if you keep looking for it.
Peter
CHARACTER, DRIVE AND POVERTY
#character
To paraphrase an old adage: give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime.
We’ve developed a culture in which the poor receive aid without conditions. We believe that they are poor because of bad luck or circumstances, or because their parents or other family was poor.
We, as a society, believe some are poor because they are lazy, resentful or don’t have the skills to hold a job. The poor believe they are poor because they have been discriminated against, treated badly by employers or, they believe the government somehow owes them.
How we would love to change the thought process of poverty. On Aug. 4, 2014, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution ran two columns – one by the New York Times’ David Brooks, and the other by engineer and former Atlanta Falcon William White – that discussed the thought process of the poor.
Brooks talked about character development among the poor. He quotes Richard Reeves of the Brookings Institution as saying that both progressive and conservative orthodoxies in dealing with poverty do so in the abstract. He believes the orthodoxies view the poor as a species of “hollow man,” whose destiny is shaped by economic structures alone.
White, on the other hand, grew up poor in Lima, Ohio. His father worked in a foundry, in which the only air-conditioned place was the engineer’s office. He was determined to succeed in school and become an engineer. As it happened, he also had a successful 11-year career in the National Football League, after graduating with an engineering degree from The Ohio State University.
What both Brooks and White are saying is that circumstances shouldn’t define a person. They also say that fewer people would be in dire circumstances if they just had the belief that they could get out of them.
We, as a society, can’t want success for anyone more than he wants it for himself, as White has shown. We hate to see anyone live in poverty, but we can’t give anyone the desire to get out. If you have the desire to get out, you WILL get out. You will fight through your circumstances and become successful.
Brooks says we should teach people in dire circumstances several things to help them out of their own situations. First, we teach good habits. If you change behavior, you will change disposition eventually, Brooks writes. He cites many government programs that help poor parents and students to observe basic etiquette and practice small, but regular, acts of self-restraint.
Then, we have to show them opportunity. Most of us, Brooks writes, can only deny short-term pleasures because we see the path between self-denial now and something better down the road.
Third, exemplars. Character is not developed individually. It is instilled by communities and transmitted by elders, Brooks writes. That brings to mind another adage: if you can’t change the people around you, change the people around you.
Fourth, standards. People can only practice restraint after they determine the sort of person they want to be, Brooks writes.
In other words, give people something to shoot for, instill in them the belief that they can get it and show them what they need to do to get it.
If your circumstances aren’t what you want them to be, there are many vehicles out there that could help the person who wants to change his life, and has a vision of what he wants his life to be. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau.
So if you don’t like your circumstances, don’t wallow and blame. Dream that life can be better, believe that YOU can make it better, then step up and do what you need to do.
Peter
ATTITUDE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT
#attitude
To paraphrase a Southwest Airlines ad: We all know airline employees have attitudes, but we have the good ones.
When your parents told you have an attitude, it was not a compliment. Of course, if you didn’t have the attitude THEY wanted you to have, you were told you have an attitude.
But Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay University in Tennessee, believes an attitude can be the force, as in “Star Wars,” that should be with you. He wrote about that in an Oct. 12, 2014, column in The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
As a child, your parents did not want you have independent thought. They saw that as attitude. They did not want you to think that things they had taught you could be wrong.
As adults, it’s desirable to question things. It’s desirable to investigate for oneself whether something is right or wrong. It’s best, as an adult, not to assume or presume. It’s best to make judgments based on facts.
But attitude is much more than finding facts and making judgments. Attitude is belief. To quote Steinberg, attitude is a force. It’s also, as he said, a choice.
One can choose to be optimistic or pessimistic. Once can choose to see the world as a great place, or a doomed place. Once can choose to believe that the best years of their lives are ahead of them.
Of course, belief is a start. One must act on what he believes. He must choose to fight through the gloom and doom and take charge of his life.
How does one do that when “life” has hit him upside the head? First, he recalls what is good in his life – and we all have good in our lives. Then, he is grateful for the good in his life. Chances are, what’s good in one’s life trumps what’s bad. So, we fight through the bad by having an attitude of gratitude.
Then, one must ask: what can I do to make things great? If you are having trouble finding a good answer to that question, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You’ll see people who had trouble answering that question in the past finding the answer in abundance.
But no good thing comes to us without effort. We must make an effort not only to believe there is good out there, but to find it.
Once we find it, we must do what we need to do to get it. Once we get it, we must help others believe it, find it and grab it.
Perhaps it’s not what lies beneath that matters. It’s what lies within.
Our circumstances may rattle and shake us. But they should never break us.
We mustn’t fear the future, for it eventually will be bright if we make it so.
So, as an adult, it’s OK to have an attitude. It’s OK to defy what peril has been put upon you.
We all have so much good in our lives. Embrace that to start with, then go get more of it.
Attitude is a choice. Choose wisely.
Peter
WE MAY LONG TO BE KIDS AGAIN, BUT …
#kidstructure
We think of childhood as a simple time –fancy free, no worries, necessities provided without effort.
But Vicki Abeles sees childhood differently.
She produced a 2009 video titled, “Race to Nowhere,” that told stories of students who were burned out and overworked by the pressure-cooker education culture. She featured her son, Zak, in the video and in her column on the subject, published Sept. 26, 2014, in USA Today.
In decades past, the philosophy was that a busy child stayed out of trouble. Many education systems stressed rigor, lots of homework, even busy work to keep kids’ minds on one thing: school.
That evolved a bit, as kids got into sports, music, drama, debate and other excellent extracurricular activities. It was thought then that those things helped balance a student’s life.
Today, as we see our education system documented as hardly the best in the world, we have created kids that are overworked, overstressed and still not achieving what they should.
“In some places across the country, the frantic pace of modern life has even trickled down to kindergarten, where students are already bringing home piles of homework,” Abeles writes.
She says young people nationwide suffer from alarming rates of anxiety, sleep loss and depression. She quotes a survey by the American Psychological Association that one in four teens reported feeling extreme levels of stress during the school year.
Teens may not seem stressed to you. Of course, there are normal stresses for teens, including boy-girl relationships, having to look good to your peers, wearing the “right” clothes etc. But, if you have or know a teenager, does his or her stress level seem abnormal? If the teen is open to talking to you frankly, ask him or her about it.
We need an education system that makes kids not just learn, but WANT to learn. Just as we adults need a work-life balance, kids need a school-life balance. Sure, school is their job. But it should not be their life.
They should be able to easily mix academic demands, extracurricular activities and free time to hang with friends, date (if they are old enough) or just do what they want. After all, they are only kids once.
Sometimes, kids find their life calling by having the freedom to do what they want.
They should certainly learn that some structure is important. We can’t raise children to believe that they can ALWAYS do what they want, no matter what. A job requires some commitment to structure that the employer requires. Higher education requires some structure to get a degree.
But making kids a slave to structure at an early age will probably hurt them more than help them. It might cause them to develop mental, even physical injuries that could stay with them for life. What kind of waste of potential would that be?
While students need to learn some structure, they also should learn that there are ways to make a life that may not require the structure we are teaching them. It may require a different, more enjoyable kind of structure. For a look at one such lifestyle, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau.
If you are over a certain age, you learned the importance of structure in life. As a teen, you may have even rebelled at such structure. More than likely, you got over your rebellion and got “structured” again. Abeles believes today’s kids are over-structured. If you have a teen, or know one, you might want to cut them some slack.
Instead of making sure every minute of the day, and night, is tied up with some activity, give them some time to be them. You may be pleasantly surprised at not only how they use that time, but also how it could make them much better adults.
Peter
SILENT ECONOMIC IMPROVEMENTS
#economy
We hear and read that the economy is really improving.
Yet, many of us don’t see it, or feel it.
The reasons may be too numerous to mention all of them, but a few key ones are: you may have lost a good job and gotten a new one, but you are making less money. Many of us had to get back on our feet, sort of, by making less money. That is a trend. Businesses want more and better work, for less.
Here’s another: you had a house. You either lost your house in foreclosure, or you had to sell your house for less than it was worth because you lost your job. Your new job, if you’ve gotten one, pays less, but you had to take a lesser house. What gets you, too, is that some rich investor gobbled up your former house for pennies on the dollar, and is either renting it to someone else in your situation, or has resold it for more than you could have afforded to buy it back. To the investor, the economy is booming. But you don’t feel it.
A third: you were lucky to keep your job that you’ve had all these years. You’ve survived downsizings, buyouts and the like, intact. But you have not had a raise in years. Your costs, for everything, have gone up. You don’t see the boom in the economy. Yet, you are supposed to consider yourself lucky to have survived. Perhaps, it’s the new normal.
For those who already had pretty good means, the economy is improving. They are seeing the recession disappear, and their fortunes return, and even improve. But so many are left in the dust. They have been downsized, resized and even “recovered.” Yet, they may never see anything resembling the life they once had. They were good at what they did, helped their employers do well, but they were forced to find a new life with less.
You start to see signs saying employers are hiring. You check out some of them, and find that the jobs they are hiring for will hardly make you a living, or are part time. Or, perhaps, the jobs not only don’t pay well, they are incompatible with your life. There may be a shortage of truck drivers, as has been recently reported. But having a job that puts you on the road at all hours of the day and night for $50,000 a year just isn’t going to work for you. There was a time when driving a truck paid much better. Those days are gone.
We are starting to read and hear about companies hiring, shortages in certain professions and even new jobs being created. When you check them out, many of them are either beyond your qualifications or they don’t pay nearly what they should. Wages should start to rise in this situation, but they are slow to. Employers still believe there are enough desperate people out there that they can still pay less.
So, if you are not seeing the boom in the economy that many are talking about, you are not alone.
There is good news here. There are many things out there that can provide an alternative to the traditional job. And, they can pay you pretty handsomely. But, as in anything, you have to be a person who wants something badly enough to look at something different.
If you are that person, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau, and see one of the best.
You can mope, cope and hope. Or, you can look outside what you know, get a desire to change things for yourself and take the plunge. In this new world, others will willingly help you succeed.
Some may want you to settle for less. Don’t settle. Succeed.
Peter
DO SOMETHING
I am one person. I can’t do everything. But I am me. I can do something.
Paraphrase of a T-shirt seen in an airport
#dosomething
We all gripe about the world.
Perhaps we’ve gone through some things we didn’t deserve.
Perhaps we’ve seen everything we’ve worked for disappear, through no fault of our own.
Perhaps we have an illness that we not only never expected, but feel incapable to deal with.
Our circumstances are none of our business. How we deal with them is every bit our business.
Maybe we can’t change the way the world is. But we can change the way WE are.
Perhaps we can’t fix all destruction. But we can fix what we can see and touch.
Some are bent on destroying us. But we are flexible. We keep moving.
The boss wants us gone. So we go, and make a better life.
We get sick. But we do what we need to get better.
We are told certain things are true. Yet we find some may not be.
Even the smallest deception we may try can hurt someone else big time.
We are all better than we think we are at the moment. We just have to go for it!
All you think, do and say has a consequence. Make all thoughts, deeds and words positive.
Don’t let the naysayers get you down. For there is much out there that is good and true.
If no one gives you a pat on the back, give yourself one.
Haven’t gotten a raise in years? Look for something more beneficial to you.
Having trouble finding that benefit? Visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau
The world can be a dark place. Let your attitude shine a light for you.
Perhaps you can’t change everything. But you can change.
When everything isn’t what it seems, keep digging. You may find gold.
If you dread getting up in the morning, be thankful that you still can.
The best way to get on your feet is to get off your butt. (seen on a license plate)
People and companies will do what they must do. You do what you must do.
Be the music that rocks your world when evil tries to drown you out.
Be you. Do what you know you should. Help others, so you may help yourself.
Peter
BEST IT CAN POSSIBLY BE
#perfectmoments
We all strive for perfect moments, though perfection, among humans, is impossible.
In his book, “The Perfect Moment,” Andy Andrews realizes that perfection is impossible. So he defines “perfect” moments as the best that can possibly be.
We all love different things, but Andrews’ book points out that perfect moments are when good things come together. He tells the story of playing catch with his son, using a football. His son “goes long,” Andrews throws the ball, his son grabs it over his shoulder, falls down along the beach and yells, “touchdown.”
Andrews was on the beach playing with his son. The sun was out. It wasn’t too hot, nor too cold. The weather was, well, perfect. In that moment, everything came together for Andrews and his son.
What do you consider “perfect” moments? Perhaps it’s a nice day on the golf course, when you score a hole-in-one – with a witness, of course. If you’re an athlete, it may be when you, personally, have won a championship game with a winning score.
If you’re in sales, it may be when you’ve finally gotten a big contract from a prospective client that had never let you see him – until now. You’d done your due diligence, and your persistence paid off!
We have perfect moments at work, at home and in life. Perhaps perfection came when you met the person with whom you would spend the rest of your life. And, you knew it, or at least felt it, at the time.
The message in Andrews’ book is that perfect moments are created by you. Sure, they can just “happen,” but the person who creates perfect moments will see more of them.
He points out that part of perfect moments is having nothing urgent that you needed to attend to, but were ignoring. With many of us, that’s easier said than done. So the message then becomes to get your mandatory tasks done so you can have time to create perfect moments.
Free time scarce? Money even scarcer? For a potential solution to both of those problems, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You might be able to eventually have enough time to create perfect moments, along with enough money to enjoy and appreciate them.
Here’s another thing about perfect moments. You have to realize them, when you encounter them. The golfer who scores a hole-in-one will probably realize his immediately. But those beautiful days at the beach spending time with your family could be taken for granted.
So, you must realize the moments as well as enjoy them. When we realize them, we are grateful for every one of them. We may have to adjust our attitudes toward gratitude, but grateful people generally find success – and more perfect moments.
We must be a little careful not to live in every moment. Some moments are stressful, and far from perfect. Some moments are burdensome, yet we bear burdens to free us to create more perfect moments.
We are blessed to be free to create perfect moments. We understand absolute perfection is not humanly possible. But as we go through life as we know it, we realize more and more those moments that are the best that can possibly be.
Peter
CUT THROUGH THE ‘STUFF’ AND SIMPLIFY
#keepitsimple
Nothing in life, it seems, is ever simple.
As Jeff Davidson, author of the book “Dial It Down, Live It Up,” puts it, complexity is a universal norm.
Our job, as creators of our own lives and fates, is to turn complex into simple.
Some, of course, will put the fear in you NOT to “oversimplify.” These folks want things to stay complicated, so you have as little understanding about them as possible. The less you understand, the more easily you could be defrauded, ripped off or just plain taken for a ride.
There’s another part to life that started out as good, but turned into the devil: too much information. Did you ever sign an application for anything with oodles of small type full of disclaimers? Did your parents, teachers etc. always tell you that the devil was in the details?
Here’s what you should do and know: first, if you are signing something, know, like and trust that person to whom you are commiting. Let that person TELL you, in not so many words, what you are signing and what it will mean for you. Even if you had the time to read all the small type, you wouldn’t likely comprehend a good bit of it. Still, our world insists that, legally, they have to disclose it.
That isn’t to say that you shouldn’t be careful. But if you know, like and trust the person with whom you are dealing, you can save a lot of time by having him or her explain it succinctly. If you have reason not to trust that person, don’t accept his application. Have someone with more knowledge than you about the process – your attorney, perhaps – be your adviser.
The second thing that complicates our lives is just plain “stuff.” Davidson suggests that we become masters of discard. We learn what we NEED to save, what we want to save and what we wonder why we are saving. Space filled with “stuff” complicates our lives. If you can’t bear to be the chief discarder, or don’t really know the actual value of some of what you own, hire an estate sale expert. By taking emotion out of stuff, you will simplify your life.
Davidson also talks about having only the technology you are comfortable with. Don’t buy a gadget on which you only need certain functions . It’s better to buy the dumber gadget, unless you need the bells and whistles on the smarter one. Another thought: if you want to “move up” in gadgetry, do it slowly. The longer you wait to upgrade, the chances are more likely the upgrade will be cheaper.
Davidson has other suggestions for managing your time, stress etc. He stresses making choices BEFORE a situation arises, instead of in the aftermath. In other words, if you can anticipate what might happen on a given day, and can do something ahead of time that will make dealing with it a bit easier, make that choice.
The complex world will try to get you. To every extent possible, don’t let it. You may not be the slave you believe to be to “circumstances.” Sure, “circumstances” sometimes will surprise you. But you have a lot more control over things than you might realize.
If you feel the complex world ganging up on you, there are things you can do to create less stress over time, and simplify things over time. To check out one of the best such vehicles, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You may have to change a few things in your life to make the most of it, but it can certainly simplify things for you over time.
Peter
CONFIDENCE, BELIEFS AND DREAMS
“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe. Anatole France
#dreams
Were you raised to believe you would only go so far?
Sure, your parents didn’t want you to be too cocky. And, to go where they have gone turned out pretty well for them, didn’t you think?
Then, you go through adolescence. You start to believe you can do anything, and usually try stupid things that get you hurt, or in trouble.
You recover from adolescence and get out of high school. Perhaps you tried to “find yourself,” by traveling around looking. That didn’t really work for you, so you settled down to college, the military or a job. Then, you start to believe that your parents were right. You start to follow their tried and true path. You got through a career and life didn’t turn out so bad.
But what if you want more out of life than just a job, a career, a family and friends? All of these things can indeed make for a great life, but they may not get you everything you dream about.
Oh, your parents discouraged you from dreaming? Perhaps you were told that dreaming was what drifters did. Or, perhaps, what those rich people do. You may have been told that settling down and doing what you know, or have been taught, is the best way.
Those who really make a difference in the world are dreamers. Those who innovate are dreamers. And, they don’t just dream. They go for their dreams in a big way.
They may defy conventional wisdom. Their “friends” may laugh at them. Or, perhaps, invite them back into their lives when they come to their senses. After all, your friends may believe that if we all stay together, the rut will not be bad at all. We can all long for 5 p.m. on Fridays, weekends, vacations etc., but the rest of the time, our nose is to a grindstone that is making the boss rich.
But some of us believe we are better than that. We use a job as a springboard. We use our jobs as a way to earn immediate cash, while we work on our dreams. We learn that we can ACHIEVE what we want eventually, no matter what happens to us.
How do we change, if we’ve been taught differently? First, we have to know why we are doing something. Money for the sake of money is not what we want. We want money to do things we want to do, to give to things we feel will make the world better and to live our dreams.
So you’re abuzz in thought. You think you can’t make a lot of money doing what you’re doing now. If that’s the case, you probably need to keep your job, but develop habits like saving and investing, as opposed to spending. It may take time to get what you want, but if your dream is big enough, you’ll be patient.
But, if you are willing to do something part time that will speed up the process, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Check out how other people just like you have amassed fortunes, without interfering with what they were doing at the time.
They had dreams that were powerful enough to choose a different path – for not settling for an ordinary life. You can do the same.
Once you allow yourself to dream, you can then act. You can plan, then believe. By combining your dreams, actions, plans and beliefs, you can achieve what you want.
Peter