#WorkRage #EgoDepletion #RegulateEmotions
Perhaps you got stuck in traffic.
Perhaps you were on hold – with that annoying music – for a half-hour while trying to order something.
These types of things trigger anger. Though we may try hard not to take that anger out on others, sometimes the self-regulatory mechanism is so depleted, we lose control.
Such are the findings of Stephen Courtright, assistant professor of management at Texas A&M University, who is researching why bosses lash out in the workplace.
Courtright’s work was discussed by Kris B. Mamula in an article in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, and recently published in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
Courtright calls the situation in which one loses the ability to regulate one’s emotions “ego depletion.” You may know someone who has shown this, or you may have shown it yourself on occasion.
One can replenish one’s ego over time, Mamula writes. “If you are experiencing anger in the workplace, strategically choose things to regain control in order to control anger,” Mamula quotes Courtright.
About 14 percent of employees in the United States are victims of nonphysical workplace aggression, Mamula writes.
As a result, corporations lose about $23.8 billion annually in lost productivity, grievance procedures and health care costs from abusive supervisors and related behavior, Mamula quotes a 2007 study.
Sometimes, victims of such abuse have very little recourse, other than to find a new place to work.
Would it be nice to work from home, for yourself, so that you can only get mad at yourself, and no one can take out his anger on you? If you think so, visit You’ll find stories of people who have ditched that traditional J-O-B in favor of working for themselves AND, more importantly, helping others do the same.
Authority doesn’t make a leader. Bluster is not an effective motivational tool. Leaders tend to work FOR those who technically work for them. They do everything possible to make sure their teams are as productive as they can be. They do all they can to minimize stress. They do everything possible to make them a pleasure to be around.
No one should have to be abused in the workplace. No one should have to work for someone who beats up people emotionally. It’s not good for the employees, and not good for the business as a whole.
Particularly if you have employees working for you, work to find the things in your life that upset you. Often, it has nothing to do with the employees or their work. Perhaps there are stress inducers at home, or elsewhere in your life.
“Simply put, conflict at home taxes the emotional stamina needed to absorb everyday conflicts outside the home, which can lead to mental fatigue and abusive behavior at work,” Mamula writes.
In other words, lighten up, loosen up, let things go. You and those you work with will be much happier and more productive.


#CollegeGraduates #CollegeDebt #CollegeStudents

One graduate has resorted to selling her eggs to help infertile women.

She is one of many college graduates who have huge college debt and not enough income to easily pay it off.

Her story and others were relayed by Kala Kachmar of the Asbury Park (N.J.) Press in an article also published in the May 8, 2016, edition of The Tennessean in Nashville as part of its USA Today supplement.

About $2 million borrowers bear a $1.3 trillion loan burden, the headline reads.

“Who wants to live at home at 29? I don’t. But, luckily, I can. … I shouldn’t be living paycheck to paycheck,” the article quotes Christyn Gionfriddo of Neptune, N.J.

Let’s examine what has happened. We have gotten constant messages for decades that to get a good job, one needs a good education – a college degree. Colleges and the government have made it easier for students of all income levels to get into college.

Some of the vehicles used to facilitate students getting into college involve loans that students are not obligated to begin repaying until after graduation.

In theory, this plan works if students can convert their educations into a good-paying job.

That doesn’t always happen.

Therefore, students are graduating with huge debt that may be difficult to repay, if their incomes can’t support it.

Some, in fact, will try to avoid repaying it.

What’s a young person to do?

First, determine in your high school years, whether college is right for you.

It’s certainly a nice goal to have EVERYONE get a college degree, but today’s economics require a more in-depth thought process for each student.

Ask yourself, if you go to college, what is the goal when you graduate? What kind of income will you be likely to earn with your degree? Will you need loans to get through school? What is the likelihood of you getting a job in your chosen field immediately after graduation? Will it be enough for you to live a decent life, and pay off your debt?

If you’ve determined that college is worthwhile enough to borrow money for, then watch your spending while in school. You may have to forgo some good times, get a part-time job and otherwise be somewhat miserly. Watch every dime you spend and make sure it is worthwhile.

If you determine that college may not be right for you, don’t fret. There are other ways to make an income without having to worry about what kind of job you have. For one of the best, visit You’ll see people of all income and education levels spending less, and potentially earning enough to pay off any debt promptly.

In short, don’t view going to college as an automatic decision. Don’t view your education as an interlude to be young, boisterous and have a good time. Because, when you grow up, there could be a big debt welcoming you to adulthood.

Colleges don’t care what happens to you once you get out. But you should take that into account before deciding whether to go to college.



“God, today we pray for all those who are looking for a job. Guide them to the company you have for them. Grant them favor with employers and fill them with patience and wisdom as they search. Provide every need as they wait on you! In Jesus’ name, Amen!
Prayer for Employment

#millennials #jobs #QuittingYourJob

A few years ago, if you were fortunate enough to have a job, you did what you could to hold on to it.
If you were out of a job, you pounded the pavement. Perhaps you prayed.
Today, according to a Bloomberg News article by Natalie Kitroeff, quitting is in.
More than 3 million Americans quit their job in December 2015, Kitroeff writes. That’s the highest number since 2006, Kitroeff quotes the Bureau of Labor Statistics. The quits rate, which measures how many people ended their employment out of everyone who worked in a given month, reached its highest level in seven years, Kitroeff writes.
Millennials, those between 18 and 34 years old, became the largest segment of the U.S. labor market, and that work force is expected to increase even more. They seem to be averse to spending their work lives at one desk, Kitroeff writes.
This shows that the economy is definitely improving. Workers, particularly young workers, don’t generally quit their jobs unless they have another one, or are confident they will get one fairly quickly.
Kitroeff quotes a survey by accounting giant Deloitte of 7,500 working, college-educated professionals born after 1982 in 29 countries. Sixty-six percent hoped to have a different job in five years from now, or sooner. Forty-four percent said they would quit within two years and 25 percent said they would quit this year, to either start a new job or “do something different.”
The millennials’ parents and grandparents, for the most part, craved the security of a job. They craved the benefits – health insurance, pension, vacation time etc. – as well as the steady paycheck.
Millennials seem to have a different outlook on work, the future etc. Much of the benefits their forebears craved have been significantly reduced, or have gone away entirely.
For previous generations, the benefits a job provided were both a blessing and a curse. They blessed those employees with something extra that was worth real money. They cursed them, because they kept them tied to a job, when they might have wanted to go to work elsewhere. Some have even used the term, “golden handcuffs,” to describe a benefit-laden job that a person just can’t afford to give up.
One of the benefits of the Affordable Care Act is that it allows workers to have health insurance that is not tied to a job. This could embolden them to want to leave one employment situation for another.
Are you now in a job that you hate, that doesn’t use the many skills and talents you have, or doesn’t provide you with the future you believe you deserve? If you need the steady paycheck, one solution might be to work on a Plan B outside of work. A Plan B might provide you with an income cushion so you can look for a position more to your liking. For one of the best Plan Bs, visit
Traditional employment is changing. Perhaps you seek the independence that a traditional job does not provide. Perhaps you want to be an entrepreneur and work for yourself. Perhaps your boss doesn’t see how valuable you really are.
Allow yourself to dream. Get a Plan B. Independence awaits those who want it, and are willing to look for it.


#investing #investors #TheBigShort

The year 2008 was a pivotal financial year for most of us.

If we didn’t lose our home, lose our job or lose our retirement savings – or, God forbid, all of the above — we were among the lucky.

The movie “The Big Short” illustrates how the economy can collapse when Wall Street gets creative, and mixes in a little fraud.

In many cases, we are asked to sign documents we don’t necessarily read from cover to cover. If you’ve ever bought property or gotten a mortgage, you rely on the person who is presenting the material to you to give you a summary of what it all says. We tend to trust that person explicitly that we are not being led down a destructive path – one that means big money to him or her at our expense.

Not only do we, generally, not have time to read such documents cover to cover, even if we did, we would not understand some of them. Some people don’t want us to understand them, because they’ve put something in them with a “gotcha” that hurts us.

“The Big Short tells a story that the Wall Street bankers themselves didn’t read what they were signing on for. When a few decided to read the documents, they found them filled with risky mortgage investments that were not highly rated. So, they created vehicles that allowed them to bet against those investments.

Many of those on Wall Street do what they can to make money quickly. When greed sets in, fraud becomes a great threat. Still, many who work on Wall Street are good, honest people. Even they get caught, sometimes unwittingly, into the mess when such messes occur.

We who are not on Wall Street have to make money the old-fashioned way, with work, savings and time. Many of us don’t have the wherewithal to turn around a quick investment that would make a fortune that will last our lifetimes.

Still, we don’t have to resort to greed, fraud and financial “creativity” to make a potential fortune. There are many ways out there for those of us not on Wall Street to turn our financial situations around. For one of the best, visit Yes, you’ll still need time to realize the potential, but the trajectory could be considerably shortened from that of relying on a traditional job.

“The Big Short” also revealed how bad the investors who bet against the risky mortgage-backed securities felt when their wisdom paid off. It hurt them that their profit came at the expense of many other innocent people.

The moral, perhaps, isn’t that making a profit is bad. It’s more on the angle of how one makes a profit. If he can do it without hurting others, that profit feels much better.

If one can make a profit by helping others do the same, that’s ideal.

Most investment advisers suggest that, as an investor, one must remove emotion from the decision-making. A few develop investment products designed to make the world a better place, making the investor feel good about what he is doing.

The range, perhaps, between those two extremes is to invest in things that help others, while having a plan to help oneself have, say, a comfortable retirement. Proper investing can lead to a degree of comfort, even when greed and fraud on Wall Street is exposed, or when circumstances take the markets in wild directions.

No market goes up in a straight line. Success comes with failures mixed in. But a good, prudent plan can protect each investor from almost anything. Good advice from someone you trust is essential, preferably not from someone who gets “creative” with financial products.



#BelieveInYourself #Sales #Success
It’s no secret that the secret to good sales is believing in oneself.
Tom Black, a sales consultant, wrote in an Oct. 18, 2015, column in The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville, that successful people in all professions, especially sales, begin with a basic belief that they can achieve success.
OK, many of us think we are good at something. A few of us think we are not good at anything. Another few believe we are good at everything. Consultants, using their considerable ability to persuade, tell others that all they have to do is believe in themselves.
Black boils it down to three steps: write down one’s beliefs and read them regularly; surround oneself with those who believe in him; thirdly, tell someone important to him what he believes he will become.
These are simple concepts on their face, so why isn’t everyone successful? Why don’t we all believe in ourselves?
The simple answer is that, in the process of creating belief in ourselves, our beliefs change. A setback here, a mistake there, can, and often does, modify strong beliefs in ourselves.
As we proceed to surround ourselves with people who believe in us, we run across naysayers, competitors (those who would succeed because we have failed) and well-meaning folks who tend to prick a pinhole in our balloons and deflate our beliefs.
We want to stay strong in our beliefs. But even when we know that what we have, and what we can achieve, is all good, a comment here, a sidetrack there and failures to act bring setbacks. Even successful people have setbacks and run into people who trash their beliefs. The difference among them is that they don’t let circumstances alter their beliefs.
They press on, even when it’s difficult to do so. Their eyes, and their minds, are always on the prize, and they have the ability to ignore, or do away with, everything else.
It takes a strong mind, not just a smart one, to do that. Perhaps you know people in your field who are not as good as you at what you do, but are more successful. The contrary can also be true: those in your field whom you may hold in high esteem may not be as successful as you.
If you want to be a successful person, and believe you have the strength of mind to do so, but still may be looking for the best way to channel that strength, visit You’ll see stories of strong-minded people who, as Black suggests, found other strong-minded people who believed in them, to put around them. They are not waiting for other shoes to drop. Nor are they planning to give up when setbacks arise. For them, the prize is just too good not to go for.
There are many reasons out there to be concerned for your well-being. They are well-publicized. You can pay attention to them, or choose not to. You can see the world for what is, and believe the sky will fall, or you can see the world – and yourself – for what can be, and rise above the “circumstances.”
Yes, there are choices here. You can ask people around you what they would do if they were you, or you can ask yourself what YOU would do for you. Choose wisely.


#happiness #contentment #HappinessIsCreated
Most of us would probably say we are happy with the way things are for us.
Some, of course, would say they live one crisis after another. These folks may never see happiness, perhaps because they don’t pursue it. They wait for it to come to them.
But let’s talk about the former group.
Pose this question to yourself: are you HAPPY with the way things are for you, or are you CONTENT with the way things are for you?
Though it’s truly a blessing to be alive, let’s not talk about those who are just happy to be standing upright, or those happy to be on the right side of the dirt.
Let’s focus on those who say they are happy with their lives as a whole. If you are HAPPY with your life, you ALWAYS wear a smile. You have no worries about anything. The sky is never falling. Tomorrow will always be better than today.
If you don’t look at life this way, but feel that, when you balance your ups and downs, that life is OK, you are merely content. If you say to yourself, “I’d really like that, but I’ll settle for this,” you are merely content. If you look forward to your good days, but have occasional bad days, you are merely content.
So let’s take this premise a step further. Once you determine whether you are HAPPY, rather than merely CONTENT, what do you do next if you discover that what you thought was happiness was just contentment?
Chances are there are steps you can take to change your status. It’s not just a mood change, or putting on a façade of happiness. It’s a life change.
Ask yourself whether you are governed by your circumstances, or whether you are governing your circumstances. If it’s the former, what do you do to change to the latter?
To borrow from the song Dusty Springfield made famous, wishing, hoping and praying alone aren’t going to give you what you want.
You have to determine what you want that will make you truly happy. You certainly can live with contentment for a time, but you have to really aim toward happiness. Once you aim toward it, you have to pursue it relentlessly and continuously. That, for some, is the hard part.
You see, contentment may be good enough once some of us realize what it takes to achieve true happiness.
For others, they have the determination to achieve happiness, but need the vehicle that will get them there. If you are one of those, visit It’s one of many, and indeed one of the best, vehicles for those who not only know what they want to go from content to happy, but also want to take others on the same journey.
Going from content to happy may not always be easy. However, for some, it could be a simple adjustment in the way one leads a life or uses his time.
For those happy to be content, perhaps now, at least, you may understand the difference between contentment and happiness.
For those who want true happiness, find out what that is for you and do what you need to do. It seems simple, but, for some, it’s very hard.
Remember: happiness is not given. It is created.


#gettingolder #gettingold #aging
Young people worry about everything – their looks, their climb up the corporate ladder, how their children will turn out etc.
For Dominque Browning, who recently turned 60, aging has become liberating. All those things she worried about in her youth she now finds almost laughable. Oh, and her excuse? “I’m too old for this,” she says.
Browning tackled the topic of aging in a liberating way in a New York Times article. It was also published in the summer of 2015 by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
As a young person, you tend to believe that you want to be young forever. You hear older people lament that “youth is wasted on the young.” In other words, you’d love to have had the wisdom and years of knowledge that you have at age 60 when you were, say, 30.
Browning writes that a younger woman advised her that “old” may be the wrong word. Perhaps at 60 she is too wise for this, or too smart for this. “But old is the word I want,” she writes.
“I’ve earned it.”
She writes that women inflict torture on themselves by obsessing about things. “If we don’t whip ourselves into loathing, then mean girls, hidden like trolls under every one of life’s bridges, will do it for us,” Browning writes.
Instead, she writes, one should be happy that the body one has is healthy, presuming it is. She says she’s too old for skintight jeans, 6-inch stilettos, tattoos or green hair.
Let’s look at the wider picture. Let’s say you are 50 years old, and have been told you are no longer needed at your job. You look at other jobs, perhaps ones that may be more physically demanding. Do you tell yourself, “I’m too old for this?”
Or, do you take on one of those jobs to prove that you aren’t too old, presuming the employer hires you – and there’s certainly no guarantee of that.
Employers generally see age as a disadvantage, no matter what the job. They may not be allowed by law to discriminate, but there’s nothing telling them they can’t tell you – the older worker – that they have chosen someone else. If you try to prove age discrimination, good luck. You’ll need all the evidence you can find, and you still may not succeed.
So what to do if that predicament arises at 50? Or even younger? There are many ways out there to earn money, without a traditional job. For one of the best, visit If you like what you see, you might be able to one day gleefully show the employer who dumped you that you didn’t need him after all.
Imagine seeing your children, or younger colleagues, sweating each day as they go to work. They don’t know when they might get shown the door. It might come at a worse time for them than it did for you. But you will have done what you needed to do to put your life in order again, perhaps even making it more prosperous in the process.
How fun would it be if those younger folks presented you with the trials and tribulations of the working world, and you could say to yourself, “I’m too old for this.”
Remember, it’s best not to gloat, and to keep one’s thoughts to oneself in that regard. However, if you are reaching, shall we say, advanced age milestones, don’t fret. Use the wisdom you’ve gathered, and the energy you still have to create a second, and perhaps more prosperous and rewarding, life.
As discussed previously, wishers wish they were young again. Dreamers don’t care how old they are. There is so much to be said for being older, and not having to face the insecurities many young people face today. If you are older, you’ve lived in some good times. Now it’s time to do what you must to make your future even better.


#surf #waves #financialplanning
If Jeff Hall could do one thing every day for the rest of his life, he would surf.
Hall, partner and senior financial adviser with Rather and Kittrell in Knoxville, Tenn., wrote a column about surfing and financial advice in the July 12, 2015, edition of the News Sentinel newspaper of Knoxville.
His main point: the ocean can be tricky. You have control over some things, but not others. But, you can control to whom you listen. Despite the financial crisis in Greece and other places, there is no substitute for setting realistic goals, making a plan and following it and, as he writes, learning from every wave.
Financial planning requires good advice from someone you trust, to be sure. But it also requires discipline. It requires watching where your money goes and resisting the temptation to put it in the wrong places, i.e. spending frivolously when you should be saving vigorously.
A good financial plan involves putting off some purchases until you’ve paid yourself through saving.
Simple? Of course. Easy? Not so, for some. Success comes from doing what isn’t so easy.
You might respond this way: But my job, or my income, doesn’t allow me to save.
There are many ways to overcome that problem. For one of the best, visit
Here’s another caution: emotion. Hall says that emotion sells. If you know what you are doing is right for you, don’t let others’ emotion get you off track. Don’t stray from a good plan for emotional reasons. Sometimes, news reports can enhance some bad emotions.
Know, too, that there will be ups and downs. Nothing goes up in a straight line. But good advice and careful planning can make the path a little less rough.
If you have children, it’s important to teach them about money. It’s also important to show them a good example of financial prudence in your behavior. Certainly, kids can be more focused on having fun at the moment, as opposed to postponing getting something they want now.
Still, if you can teach them that every decision has a consequence, ultimately they can set better priorities as they get older.
It’s OK to inject fun into your life. But be realistic in what you spend for “fun.” It could cost you later.
It takes a little effort and a lot of discipline to gain financial independence. It also can take time.
There is no greater satisfaction than retiring comfortably because of decisions you had made when you were younger.
Hall points out that oceans, as well as the financial world, contain sharks. You have to watch for them, for they won’t go away.
Some waves are worth riding. Others, not so much. If you choose your waves carefully, the ride will be less perilous and destination will be sweet.


Many of us look at people we deem successful and believe we cannot be like them.
Either we believe our circumstances are holding us down, or we believe we are not as smart as successful people are or that luck is not on our side.
Rory Vaden, co-founder of Southwest Consulting, spoke to one of the most successful people he knows, Spencer Hays, founder of Tom James fine clothing and executive chairman of The Southwestern Co. Vaden discussed that conversation in a column in the June 28, 2015, edition of The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
According to Vaden, Hays believes that success is simply a choice. It’s the choice to do whatever it takes – or not – to be successful.
To most of us, that’s a very simplistic answer. We all would choose success over failure. But it’s not a matter of wanting success in the abstract. It’s a matter of defining success in one’s own mind, and going out and getting it.
In other words, make up your mind to be successful and do what you need to do.
Vaden said the idea of making up one’s mind to be successful was the one thing that Hays said that struck him in his conversation.
It appears to many that making up one’s mind to be successful is very difficult. How many people do you know start something and give up without finishing it, especially when things got tough? These people wanted to be successful at the beginning, but later discovered that what they had to do to get there was not worth the effort or the sacrifice.
An idea has to travel from one’s head, to one’s heart, to one’s gut. When one finds what he wants to do, he does what he needs to do to accomplish it, no matter what happens.
Another scenario: how many people do you know who had a goal, but listened to those who told him he could never accomplish it? The naysayers believe they mean well, and some actually do. But the successful person believes more in what he wants to achieve than he does others’ opinions of him or his goal.
We can certainly find people who might tell the person who lost a job that it was his own fault. Most of us have circumstances we can’t control. Those are not important. What’s important is how we respond when those circumstances hit.
We can complain, and convince ourselves that the world is against us. Or, we can look for something that will give us the motivation we need to conquer our circumstances.
A third scenario: a person has the motivation, work ethic and has made up his mind to be successful. He just needs a vehicle to help him find success. If you are one of those, visit It’s one of many, and one of the best, such vehicles for personal success and for helping others find success.
Choosing success is not like choosing from a restaurant menu. You can’t just say you want something and someone else is going to bring it to you. Choosing success is choosing to do what you need to do, regardless of whom or what surrounds you. It’s about believing in your goal, and pursuing it above all other things – except family and friends.
It’s having faith in what you know is good, regardless of what others think. If you choose success, you’ve chosen wisely.



#jobs #security #parttimejobs
The United States is gaining jobs, but more of them are part time, pay less than the ones lost and employees haven’t had raises in years.
Sure, McDonald’s, Wal-Mart and other companies have announced employee raises with great fanfare recently, but many of those who work there can’t make a decent living on what they earn.
Associated Press reporters Josh Boak and Christopher S. Rugaber tackled this issue in an article published June 14, 2015 in the Tennessean newspaper in Nashville. In that same Tennessean edition, Paul Davidson of USA Today said many who are working part time are doing so reluctantly.
If you grew up in the 1950s or 1960s, you are at or near retirement. Hopefully, you retired, or will retire, on your own terms. Many have not. If you are currently in your 20s, looking for steady work, perhaps you are cobbling together an income, however inadequate, with one or more part-time jobs. If you are doing that, what are the prospects of you getting the full-time job you need? Are you still living at home with Mom and Dad, and don’t really want to, but can’t afford not to?
The Associated Press article quotes Lena Allison, 54, of Los Angeles. She lost her job as a kindergarten teacher and has worked temporary jobs since. “More people may be working jobs, but they’re like these serial part-time jobs,” the article quotes her.
The AP reporters also point out that hiring has surged in the health care, retail, construction and hospitality and leisure industries. Rick Rieder, a Black Rock investment officer quoted in the AP article, says the country is beginning to see the start of broad-based wage growth. That opinion would surprise many Americans, the reporters say.
But here’s what could trigger wage growth: lower productivity. In the first three months of 2015, productivity dropped 3.1 percent after a 2.3 percent drop in the fourth quarter of 2014, the AP reporters say. Productivity had expanded 2.1 percent annually, on average, since 2000, they add. Companies have been slow to invest in equipment and other assets that might make their workers produce more. Therefore, hiring more workers in the short run could combat that, the AP reporters say.
Still, most workers are collecting no benefits or vacation time with their jobs.
Let’s face it. For most people who have lost jobs in the last few years, the ones they’ve gotten to replace them, if they’ve been so lucky, pay less than the jobs they lost. For those fortunate enough to survive the downsizings, most are working harder and probably haven’t had a raise in quite some time. Fortunately for those employers, these employees probably have no better place to go.
What’s an employee to do in these situations? First, if you have a job you like that pays well, don’t let it go. But, don’t presume it will always be there. Most people are one reorganization, or one bad manager, away from an untenable employment situation. Look for a Plan B that can help you make an extra income while you work, so, if the worst case happens, you can leave your job with a smile.
If you are in need of something to relieve an immediate income problem, the same solution could apply. There are lots of great ways to make extra income outside the traditional employment arena. For one of the best, visit
Don’t let the numbers fool you. Things may appear to be getting better as far as economic numbers go, but little has trickled down to the average person. With very few ways to get meaningful help from this situation, decide today to help yourself. Save more. Spend less. Look for a Plan B. Don’t waste energy complaining about what is. Use that energy to look for, and find, what can be.