#gifts #giving #receiving #reciprocation #leaders
France gave the U.S. The Statue of Liberty.
In an Etsy ad, Americans are perplexed that they now have to give France a return gift.
They decide to give France a cheese board, because of the French love of cheese.
A cheeseboard does not compare to the Statue of Liberty, but the ad indicates the French were thrilled with the reciprocation.
The ad raises an interesting point: do you feel the need to reciprocate when given a gift? Or, do you give gifts expecting some reciprocation?
If you expect reciprocation, do you see yourself as a giving person?
First, good leaders give. They don’t expect to get anything back, but they usually do, in one form or another.
Others are simply transactional. They are the proverbial reciprocal back-scratchers. They would not dream of scratching anyone’s back if their backs were not scratched in return.
Most of us, though, understand that it is better to give than receive. We give because it’s the right thing to do. We expect nothing in return, though we may get something – even if it is just personal satisfaction – back for what we give.
There is joy in giving. If you are in business, you want your customers to feel that you have given them much more than they paid for.
You can do that without it costing you. You can do that by just being pleasant to deal with, showing empathy to your customers’ needs or making them feel good about the transaction they are undertaking.
You can also do that by helping them use your product or service to maximum effect.
For example, if you sell tools in a hardware store, you can show them how they might build or repair whatever they need the tool(s) for.
For some, it takes effort to be nice or cordial. For others, it comes naturally. You don’t necessarily have to be everyone’s best friend, but you can make everyone feel that you are.
That way, they will want to patronize your business again and again.
You may want them to feel you are giving them a gift without expecting something in return, yet, their return is to keep patronizing you.
Good leaders, and good businesspeople, give and get. They never take. The act of taking means that those being taken lose, while the taker wins.
The act of giving means the giver expects nothing in return. The receiver wins. The giver wins, too, in some way.
So, if you give a gift, expect the receiver not to have to immediately reciprocate. Undoubtedly, he or she will reciprocate in due time, in some fashion.
Giving a gift does not have to be a transaction, though it can often turn into one.
Peter
Tag Archives: gifts
CELEBRATING HOLIDAYS SHOULD BE ENJOYABLE, BUT …
#Christmas #gifts #holiday #ConsumerSpending #joy #faith #celebration
A Nissan ad for the Christmas holiday shows two people chasing a delivery truck in a race to get a hot item for Christmas.
The custom of gift giving for the holidays started with the three Wise Men bringing gifts to the baby Jesus.
It has turned into a frenzy of consumer spending, something retailers look forward to.
There’s usually one hot item that seemingly everyone wants, and people rush to the stores to get one of those items before they run out.
And, yes, people have been known to follow delivery trucks to stores to make sure they are among the first to get an item.
As one observes such behavior, it begs the question: why?
Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy, a time of faith and a time of celebration.
It’s also supposed to be a time of peace on Earth and good will to people.
But, it has evolved in many instances to a time of stress, unfriendly competition, dinner-table arguments and obligation.
It’s also a time of difficult travel, either by road or air.
Who wants it to be this way?
No one, really. But, that’s what has evolved.
Therefore, we must pose the question: Is it worth all the stress and hardship to gather for the holidays?
Many would say, of course. But, many of those same people, when asked point blank whether they are doing it for pleasure or obligation, would answer the latter.
Is the peace, joy and celebration of the holiday turning into a family battle that has no good outcome for you?
The lesson here is that we should do things, whether traditional or out of the ordinary, because we want to. No one should make anyone feel guilty about whether to do something or be somewhere.
If you know it will be difficult to enjoy a holiday celebration, why put yourself through it?
Naturally, if you look forward to gathering for the holiday, by all means do whatever you need to do to get there.
But, if you are going through the holiday stress because you feel you have to, stop and think.
Being somewhere with other people for a holiday not only can be stressful, it can be expensive.
Make sure the pleasure of that gathering is worth it to you.
Celebrate the holiday in a way that gives you pleasure, and gives pleasure to those you care about.
Peter
A Nissan ad for the Christmas holiday shows two people chasing a delivery truck in a race to get a hot item for Christmas.
The custom of gift giving for the holidays started with the three Wise Men bringing gifts to the baby Jesus.
It has turned into a frenzy of consumer spending, something retailers look forward to.
There’s usually one hot item that seemingly everyone wants, and people rush to the stores to get one of those items before they run out.
And, yes, people have been known to follow delivery trucks to stores to make sure they are among the first to get an item.
As one observes such behavior, it begs the question: why?
Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy, a time of faith and a time of celebration.
It’s also supposed to be a time of peace on Earth and good will to people.
But, it has evolved in many instances to a time of stress, unfriendly competition, dinner-table arguments and obligation.
It’s also a time of difficult travel, either by road or air.
Who wants it to be this way?
No one, really. But, that’s what has evolved.
Therefore, we must pose the question: Is it worth all the stress and hardship to gather for the holidays?
Many would say, of course. But, many of those same people, when asked point blank whether they are doing it for pleasure or obligation, would answer the latter.
Is the peace, joy and celebration of the holiday turning into a family battle that has no good outcome for you?
The lesson here is that we should do things, whether traditional or out of the ordinary, because we want to. No one should make anyone feel guilty about whether to do something or be somewhere.
If you know it will be difficult to enjoy a holiday celebration, why put yourself through it?
Naturally, if you look forward to gathering for the holiday, by all means do whatever you need to do to get there.
But, if you are going through the holiday stress because you feel you have to, stop and think.
Being somewhere with other people for a holiday not only can be stressful, it can be expensive.
Make sure the pleasure of that gathering is worth it to you.
Celebrate the holiday in a way that gives you pleasure, and gives pleasure to those you care about.
Peter
CELEBRATIONS AND STRESS
#holidaystress #celebrations #holidays #Christmas
No matter which holiday you celebrate this time of year, make sure you celebrate and have fun.
Often, though, this time of year is one of stress and, as Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay University in Tennessee calls them, “irrational thoughts.”
Steinberg, who discussed this in a column in the Dec. 21, 2014, edition of the Tennessean newspaper in Nashville, says we often feel that the pressure is on us to be perfect. We have to cook the perfect holiday feast or keep that perfect holiday cheer.
Quoting famed psychologist Carl Jung, “Perfection belongs to the gods; the most we can hope for is excellence,” Steinberg writes.
Trying to be perfect during the holidays is impossible, causing us to suffer instead of feel joy, Steinberg writes.
In other words, feel the joy, love and other goodness of the season. Strive to make the celebration as good as it can be, without overthinking things. If you enjoy baking, go ahead, but don’t make it feel like a project. If you hate to bake, don’t. Leave it to those who love it. Or, if you must have baked goods around, attend one of the many holiday bake sales at churches, schools etc. If all else fails, buy what you like at the store and be done with it. Don’t stress about it.
Don’t agonize over that perfect gift for someone. Find what you think someone will like, buy it and give it to the person whenever you open gifts. Unless you love to spend hours shopping and fighting crowds – many people do – if you see something you think someone might like or use, grab it, pay for it at the checkout counter and go. Don’t add irrational stress to the holiday experience.
Here’s the tough part of keeping holidays joyful. At least for a while, forget about your troubles. Yes, that’s certainly easier said than done, especially if you have just lost a loved one and have had some financial hardships. In the latter case, just do what you can and don’t feel compelled to overspend. Those who love you would rather see you joyful than stressful. It doesn’t matter to them what you can or can’t afford.
How do you forget about your troubles if you are overwhelmed by them? Think about what is good in your life, and be grateful for those things. Focus on those things during this season. It will enhance your joy and reduce your stress.
Steinberg goes on to talk about irrational beliefs vs. realistic ones. He suggests making a list of all your beliefs that put pressure on you, and ask whether the beliefs are grounded in reality. In many cases, what you believe is true, or believe you must do, is based on opinion rather than fact. If such beliefs are hurting your performance, or causing you unhappiness, it’s time to find more rational beliefs, Steinberg writes.
Perhaps it may be time to check out something that could change your life. There are many things you may, or may not, be aware of that could turn you into a joyful person. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You could find that fun way to relieve much of what stresses you.
Most importantly, have a joyful holiday season, and a prosperous new year. Examine your life and find out what is really important, and what is not. This should be a time of joy, not stress. It should be a time of celebration. Time with family, friends and life itself is certainly worth celebrating. Things don’t have to be perfect to be fun.
Enjoy. Celebrate. Live!
Peter