#innercaddy, #JordanSpieth, #TheMasters #positiveinnercaddy
A professional golfer routinely has a caddy to help advise him on what club to use for a specific shot, what type of shot to make etc.
In the example of young pro golfer Jordan Speith, who won The Masters tournament in 2015, and his caddy, Michael Greller, there is also positive motivation.
Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay State University in Tennessee, and author of the best-selling book “Full Throttle,” discussed the “inner” caddy in a column in the April 26, 2015, edition of the Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
As Steinberg points out, Greller probably would be out of a job if he kept telling Spieth things like, “don’t hit it right again,” or don’t leave it short.”
Steinberg says that if one’s “inner” caddy is giving him negative information, or keeps berating him, it’s OK for that person to fire his inner caddy.
The point here is that you, and your inner caddy, should only have positive interaction. Perhaps you have gotten complacent, or your inner caddy is a bad habit that you have way too frequently.
Steinberg says that one aspect each successful athlete and business person has in common is that he has fired his bad inner caddy, and keeps training and retraining his good caddy daily.
How do they do this? Steinberg offers three ways. First, develop a good inner caddy book filled with positive affirmations, such as, “I really feel it, today.” Secondly, like Bruce Lee write down any negative thoughts on paper, and visualize crumpling it and throwing it into a fire. Third, Steinberg cites the tried-and-true rubber band trick. If you start thinking negative thoughts, have a rubber band on your wrist that you can snap, and that will snap you out of those thoughts.
To some, this may sound like psychology 101. We’ve all learned along the way that thinking good thoughts is always better than thinking bad ones. But, bad things often happen to good people, no matter what they are thinking about.
When that occurs, instead of thinking about more bad things that could happen, think of the good that will come after you’ve dealt with a bad circumstance. Bad circumstances often are our greatest teachers.
Circumstances you can’t control are not inevitable, but they can and do occur. We must use whatever methods at our disposal, and within our personalities, to make sure the bad things don’t get to us, or, at least, only get to us for a short time.
One must believe he is a better person than the bad circumstances he’s been dealt. He didn’t deserve what he got, but he can overcome it.
Sometimes overcoming bad circumstances may require us to step outside our comfort zones. Jordan Spieth, in his very early 20s, could have found it difficult to compete against players more accustomed to pressure-packed tournaments. Instead, undoubtedly with the help of his real caddy, he hit shot after shot over four days, overcame the bogeys that came his way, and won The Masters.
If you, no matter what your age, have the determination of Jordan Spieth, are willing to fire your negative inner caddy and hire one that gives you the strength and grit to win, power to you. If you are looking for something outside your comfort zone to help you win, and help you help others win, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau.
Spieth had dreamed about winning The Masters since he was 14. What are you dreaming about? It’s there for you, if you find the right reinforcement, and the right vehicle, to take you to it.
Peter
Tag Archives: Austin Peay State University
THE MARSHMALLOW TEST, PART 2: PUTTING YOUR MIND ON SELF-CONTROL
Though the marshmallow test was taken by 4-year-olds, other research into willpower focused on adults.
The research was highlighted in the book, “The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control,” by Walter Mischel, and discussed in a Feb. 15, 2015, column in The Tennessean newspaper of Nashville by Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay State University in Tennessee and author of “Full Throttle.”
Steinberg suggested several ways to improve one’s willpower. In the first, he advises to focus on the future. Many of us only think about today, and how we can be instantly gratified. The world moves quickly, and the advancement of the Internet and social media gives us instant results.
That can be good and bad. It’s good that we can get information instantly, but not so good if your employer reorganizes frequently and costs you a job.
This instantaneous world requires us to think about the future, because it has become so unpredictable. So, if you want to work until you want to retire, it may not happen. Expect your “retirement” to come sooner than you want, and expect that you probably won’t know when it’s coming.
That means that while you have a paycheck, put some of it away where you can’t touch it, and where you can watch it grow. It will help cushion that unexpected retirement.
Steinberg also advises to give yourself rewards. When you accomplish a goal, treat yourself. He quotes an example of hungry students. One group was given cookies and candy, the other radishes. They were asked to solve unsolvable anagrams. The ones who ate the sweets were better able to stay on task, since chocolate is more fun to eat than radishes.
Of course, part of having willpower is frequently avoiding sweet treats. But if you do something good, it’s OK to celebrate, briefly.
Finally, Steinberg says self-control is a mind-set. He quotes a study of students at final exam time. He says the students who believed their willpower was limitless did better than those who believed the opposite.
In sum, those of us with futuristic thoughts, who give ourselves periodic rewards for doing good and who put our minds to it will have good willpower.
If you are having trouble coming up with a Plan B, in case your Plan A fails you in the future, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Perhaps if you see the good in there, your thoughts of the future will turn to dreams.
So celebrate appropriately. Learn to believe that waiting for something good is not only possible, but desirable.
Know where you want to be, and perhaps what you want to be doing 10, 15 or 20 years hence. Then, work toward that end. You may hit some bumps along the way, but your strong mind can guide you toward your own solutions.
Have the will. Find the way. Don’t be easily tempted to stray. The journey often is more fun than the destination. Press on with care and patience.
Peter
THE MARSHMALLOW TEST, PART 1: THE POWER OF WILLPOWER
#marshmallowtest #willpower #achievegoals
Would you pass “The Marshmallow Test?”
In his book, “The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control,” Walter Mischel describes decades of research related to willpower.
Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay State University in Tennessee and author of “Full Throttle,” discussed Mischel’s research in a column in The Tennessean Newspaper in Nashville Feb. 15, 2015.
The Marshmallow Test involves 4-year-olds. They sit at a table, each with a marshmallow in front of them. The adults leave the room for upwards of 20 minutes. The children are told, as the adults are leaving, that they will get another marshmallow if they stay in their seats, and refrain from eating the marshmallow in front of them. The children also had the option of ringing a bell on the table, after which the experimenters would return and the children could eat their marshmallows.
How would you do?
You can go to youtube.com and check out a few videos of this process, Steinberg wrote.
Steinberg writes that the researchers discovered that the more seconds the child waited before ringing the bell, the higher they rated on social and cognitive functioning when they were retested decades later, Steinberg writes.
The study found that those children who waited longest to eat their treat had higher SAT scores, lower body mass index a better sense of self-worth, pursued their goals more effectively and dealt better with stress, Steinberg writes.
As adults, some of us hate marshmallows and could sit there for hours without touching it, or ringing the bell. In the meantime, we could amuse ourselves checking e-mail on our phones, texting our friends etc.
So, we could pass the literal marshmallow test with flying colors.
We might even be able to pass the test if the marshmallow were substituted for something we love, be it chocolate, steak, etc.
We might even tell ourselves that as adults, we have far more patience than a child.
But let’s take it a step further. What goal do you have sitting in front of you that you’d love to achieve, but may find difficult to achieve?
Is it making lots of money, or having a secure retirement? Is it moving up the ladder in your company, or even just surviving in your company for as long as you want to?
Do you want your goal badly enough to do what you know you need to do to achieve it? Do you have what it takes to deal with the inevitable pitfalls that will come your way, yet not stray from your mission to achieve that goal?
If so, consider yourself passing The Marshmallow Test. Should you find yourself short of tactics to help you achieve your goal, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You’ll see one of the many ways to achieve goals that your current circumstances may not help you achieve.
Life, like marshmallows, can be a bit squishy. But goals, and the willpower to achieve them, keep you firm. Stay firm. Step over life’s squishiness. Stay patient. Achieve your goals. They are there for those who wait, and work smartly.
Peter
CELEBRATIONS AND STRESS
#holidaystress #celebrations #holidays #Christmas
No matter which holiday you celebrate this time of year, make sure you celebrate and have fun.
Often, though, this time of year is one of stress and, as Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay University in Tennessee calls them, “irrational thoughts.”
Steinberg, who discussed this in a column in the Dec. 21, 2014, edition of the Tennessean newspaper in Nashville, says we often feel that the pressure is on us to be perfect. We have to cook the perfect holiday feast or keep that perfect holiday cheer.
Quoting famed psychologist Carl Jung, “Perfection belongs to the gods; the most we can hope for is excellence,” Steinberg writes.
Trying to be perfect during the holidays is impossible, causing us to suffer instead of feel joy, Steinberg writes.
In other words, feel the joy, love and other goodness of the season. Strive to make the celebration as good as it can be, without overthinking things. If you enjoy baking, go ahead, but don’t make it feel like a project. If you hate to bake, don’t. Leave it to those who love it. Or, if you must have baked goods around, attend one of the many holiday bake sales at churches, schools etc. If all else fails, buy what you like at the store and be done with it. Don’t stress about it.
Don’t agonize over that perfect gift for someone. Find what you think someone will like, buy it and give it to the person whenever you open gifts. Unless you love to spend hours shopping and fighting crowds – many people do – if you see something you think someone might like or use, grab it, pay for it at the checkout counter and go. Don’t add irrational stress to the holiday experience.
Here’s the tough part of keeping holidays joyful. At least for a while, forget about your troubles. Yes, that’s certainly easier said than done, especially if you have just lost a loved one and have had some financial hardships. In the latter case, just do what you can and don’t feel compelled to overspend. Those who love you would rather see you joyful than stressful. It doesn’t matter to them what you can or can’t afford.
How do you forget about your troubles if you are overwhelmed by them? Think about what is good in your life, and be grateful for those things. Focus on those things during this season. It will enhance your joy and reduce your stress.
Steinberg goes on to talk about irrational beliefs vs. realistic ones. He suggests making a list of all your beliefs that put pressure on you, and ask whether the beliefs are grounded in reality. In many cases, what you believe is true, or believe you must do, is based on opinion rather than fact. If such beliefs are hurting your performance, or causing you unhappiness, it’s time to find more rational beliefs, Steinberg writes.
Perhaps it may be time to check out something that could change your life. There are many things you may, or may not, be aware of that could turn you into a joyful person. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You could find that fun way to relieve much of what stresses you.
Most importantly, have a joyful holiday season, and a prosperous new year. Examine your life and find out what is really important, and what is not. This should be a time of joy, not stress. It should be a time of celebration. Time with family, friends and life itself is certainly worth celebrating. Things don’t have to be perfect to be fun.
Enjoy. Celebrate. Live!
Peter
OPTIMISM BREEDS SUCCESS
Imagine being a pessimist and being a leader.
How can you lead people, or yourself, to success if failure is always in view.
That isn’t to say that leaders might not be realistic, but it would be difficult to find success if you never can see it.
Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performace at Austin Peay State University, uses the example of Diana Nyad, who swam from Cuba to Florida in September 2013, after several tries. Nyad had been trying to complete the swim since 1978. She faced obstacles like stinging jellyfish and other occurrences, but on her fifth try, everything was finally in place to ward off failure and she completed the swim.
Steinberg wrote about Nyad and optimism in the Sept. 29,2013, edition of the Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
He says that even people who are natural pessimists can succeed by changing their view of failure. He talks about the TUF strategy, in which failure is viewed as temporary, unique and flexible. He says people who long for success must have internal dialogue that describes failure as TUF. It’s temporary, meaning today was not the day. Tomorrow we have another chance. Unique, because each situation is unique and a better situation will arise tomorrow. Today’s attempt was a strikeout, but there’s another turn at bat tomorrow. People talk within themselves about flexibility, because one or two tweaks in strategy may change the results.
All successful people have known failure. They’ve come to accept it as part of the journey. But they are always optimistic that failure today could become success tomorrow.
In recent years, it seems many of us are surrounded by failure. A good job may be gone. Our mortgage debt may have turned from manageable to underwater, with no action by us. The idea of getting a job, or working for a company for life has all but disappeared.
We see previous generations, now retired, who’ve never experienced this. They may or may not be able to help us. It’s not that we’re lazy. It’s just that our comfort zone has gotten very prickly.
What to do? First, as Steinberg suggests, maintain your optimism. If that’s not natural for you, try to change the inner dialogue you have with yourself. Sure, optimism isn’t going to give you a paycheck tomorrow, and it may not cover your underwater mortgage, but it will help you believe that there is something better out there awaiting you.
It may be a great job that you had never envisioned doing. It may be that person you had just met, who will become meaningful in your life. It may be something totally unexpected. But if you never believe good things will come, they may show up and you won’t recognize them. Your ship may come in, but if you don’t see it, you’ll miss the boat.
You also have to look at things that may be outside your comfort zone. For one such thing, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. It may not be your ship, but you won’t know unless you go to the dock to check it out.
Regardless, optimism and a positive attitude is the one thing you can do for yourself, despite your circumstances. Look at your life so far, and see where you are. Take stock about what’s good in your life. Be thankful for those blessings. Then, see about fixing what’s wrong. You may need some help, but don’t EXPECT help. Ships will come and go, but check out every one. A certain one may have your ticket to success.
Stay focused and positive. Be optimistic. Remember, employers are looking for people who have a genuinely good outlook on life. That may be the key to you landing that great opportunity.
Be optimistic that your ship is waiting.
Peter
CHOOSE TO BE CONFIDENT
Confidence is a choice.
Sure, results can encourage confidence and failings can discourage it, but whether or not you are confident in any situation is entirely in your hands.
Gregg Steinberg, author of “Full Throttle” and professor of human performance at Austin Peay State University, used golfer Jason Dufner as his example of choosing to be confident. His choice led Dufner to victory in the PGA Championship in August 2013. Steinberg’s column appeared in the Tennessean newspaper in Nashville Sept. 1, 2013.
Not everyone finds the choice to be confident easy. Many go into job interviews, tests, and other stressful situations in which one’s performance is evaluated without confidence. Not all of those situations will turn out the way one wants, but if one is confident, failure won’t matter. Next time, or the time after that etc., you will succeed.
People like to be around confident people. As we discussed last week, Andy Andrews, in his book, “The Noticer,” described success as having people WANT to be around you. Confidence will help you persuade people to want to be around you.
Confidence is a shield against the word, “No.” If you don’t fear “No,” you know you are confident. When you don’t fear “No,” you can collect as many of them as are out there and just toss them aside. You have to collect “No’s” to find the “Yeses.”
Are you choosing to be confident yet? If not, Steinberg suggests that you have a planned statement you can say to yourself, or someone else, to inspire your confidence. “I choose to be confident,” is one that Steinberg suggests. Or, “I will not fear No,” “I will win,” are a couple of others.
Steinberg also suggests that you recall a time when you were very confident before delving into your currents stressful situation. Perhaps you were confident you would win when you played on a first-place athletic team. Steinberg suggests that as you think of a time in which you were very confident, write down why you felt that way and carry it with you. As you feel your confidence sliding, take a look at that.
The idea of writing things down is almost universal advice. After all, it’s not money that we all want, it’s success. You encourage success by writing down the things you would do when you are successful – either for yourself or for someone else. Confidence encourages us to help others that need us, and that attitude will encourage our own success.
It’s best not to confuse confidence with arrogance. The choice to be confident is helpful. The choice to be arrogant is not. Confident people are humble. Arrogant people are egotistical. Confident people give to others. Arrogant people take from others.
Remember that situations can inspire confidence, but cannot create it. We must create it ourselves. When we create it ourselves, we display confidence in any situation, and circumstances will be meaningless.
If you have created your own confidence, and are looking for a vehicle in which to apply it, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Check out how people have overcome circumstances to never fear the word, “No,” for they know something many others do not know.
So be confident, be accountable and create a world that until now, you’ve only dreamed of. Write down today what that world would look like, and carry it with you. It will help keep you on your confident path.
Peter
FINDING GOOD IN EVERYONE
It takes all kinds to make a world, and those most successful people value everyone that helps them achieve success.
“When you make every client your favorite, you are bound to have a deeper connection with your clients, as well as have greater success,” says Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay State University and author of the Washington Post best seller “Full Throttle.”
“You will always have some clients whom you perceive as friendly and kindhearted.,” Steinberg said in a May 2013 column in The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
But, “”everyone’s business has a few clients that simply get on the nerves,” he added. Your dislike for that client will eventually show through, and affect your business, he said.
Let’s dig deeper into Steinberg’s idea. Everyone that we interact with has good and bad traits. We just have to focus on the good traits, and let the bad ones roll off our backs. By focusing on one’s bad traits, we waste energy. Dislike, even hate, takes energy. It doesn’t improve anything. It doesn’t move us forward.
If a person is vital to our lives, or our businesses, we have to manage our emotions about them. We have to focus our energy on appreciating the good they do, and not waste a lot of energy focusing on what they don’t do for us.
Any relationship is like that. One cannot be blind to the flaws of another, but one does not have to focus on it. Focusing on the positive not only improves chances of success in that relationship, it also creates less stress.
Sometimes we witness true evil. We can’t help but expend energy trying to combat that. Though motivational speaker Andy Andrews tells us to “sweat the small stuff,” sometimes the little things that a person does that annoy us might not be worth sweating. Andrews also advises us to “smile when we talk.” If we do that consistently, we will focus our energy on the positive traits of those we come in contact with. The nagging little annoyances won’t bother us so much.
Success is treating each (pick one: client, coworker, friend, acquaintance, neighbor) as if they are just right for you. Seeing and focusing on the positive in that person will be reciprocated. Perhaps you will make each other successful, which is ideal.
If you want to make everyone you interact with successful, but are not sure how to do that, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. This may be the vehicle you have been looking for not only for your own success, but also to help others succeed.
Helping others involves giving, but sometimes the best thing you can give a person is a way to help themselves and others.
The more you give in that regard, the more those to whom you give the opportunity will pass it on. The more everyone passes it on, ultimately, the more successful people become AND the more people become successful.
The more successful people there are, the better place the world becomes. The more successful anyone becomes, the less energy is wasted on little annoyances. But to get to that point, you first have to make the effort NOT to focus on what annoys you. Focus on what you see that is good, and continue to feed that.
In short, don’t let the little stings cripple you. That creature who stings produces the honey that you love. The more honey, the more success.
Peter