#stories
OK, what’s your story?
Is it good?
Are there plenty of bootstraps, hard labor, starting with nothing, build from the ground up in it?
Kate O’Neill, founder and principal of KO Insights, recently had a client for whom she helped compile her stories. The client was a CEO of an up-and-coming company, and O’Neill was helping her feel more comfortable talking to the press.
In business, stories sell. If your business is good, your stories – about your products or services, about your company and about yourself – will also be good. They need to be well told.
O’Neill wrote about her client in an Aug. 31, 2014, column in the Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
Meaningful stories provide a colorful antidote to the mundane questions like, “what do you do,” O’Neill writes.
Business networking experts also try to coach clients to tell stories, even if they only have a few seconds to talk to someone in an elevator. One can answer the “what do you do” question with something other than “I’m in marketing.” The answer can be a colorful story about, say, how you helped solve a client’s problem. The person posing the question may or may not be looking for a clever answer, but a colorful story will likely be remembered for a long time.
O’Neill says the best stories are often those about employees who exemplify the company’s brand and culture, or about customers who have become raving fans of your product.
For those of us who may not be in business, crafting a good story from our job, or our life, makes interesting and often impressive party talk. We never know whom we meet, and we need to presume that every person who asks about us is a potential client or employer.
Experts on crafting resumes often advise clients that job titles are often meaningless. It’s better to spell out what you did for your employers, i.e. how much money you saved them, or earned for them, whether something you did helped the company make needed changes etc.
As children, or even as adults, we heard some marvelous stories – particularly around campfires. Many were fiction. But, we were excited to hear them, and our elders were excited to retell them, over and over. We remember them well into adulthood, notwithstanding the old saw about how a story changes with each telling.
Crafting your own stories can take work. You may even need help, which is what some of us do for a living. But you need to tell your stories right and well, so you don’t feel uncomfortable telling them to the world.
Some of you may be modest. Some of you don’t believe you have a story. Everyone has a story. Many have multiple stories. Tell them with confidence.
Looking for something to come into your life that will create a great story for you? Visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Listen and watch some great success stories from average people who have completely changed their lives. You may want to do the same.
So work on your story. Get help if you need it. Learn to create conversations about your products, services, skills and yourself. You just may run into the one person who will be so impressed with your story that he or she completely changes your life.
Peter
Author Archives: pbilodeau01
YOUR THOUGHTS SAY A LOT ABOUT YOU
#thoughts
What characterizes your thoughts?
Are your thoughts courageous? Are they fanciful? Are they rewarding? Can you be a hero just sitting at your desk, thinking?
New York Times columnist David Brooks discussed this in depth in a Sept. 1, 2014, column published in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
As Brooks writes, it’s easy to see heroism in a soldier who displays courage under fire. But can someone sitting at a desk, alone, be a hero? He can, with the right thoughts.
Brooks cites the 2007 book “Intellectual Virtues,” by Robert C. Roberts of Baylor University and W. Jay Wood of Wheaton College. The authors list six characteristics that would determine whether you might be a thought hero.
First, Brooks writes, one must love to learn and be ardently curious. In other words, a thought hero would seek the most information he can before he talked about, or formed an opinion about, something.
Secondly, one needs courage. It’s not just a willingness to hold unpopular views, as Brooks writes, but, as he puts it, the reckless thinker takes a few pieces of information and leaps to some faraway conspiracy theory.
Third is firmness. That’s the middle ground between surrendering one’s beliefs at the slightest opposition, and holding dogmatically to a belief against all evidence. You might say it’s an upgrade from wishy-washy, and a dial-down from arrogance.
The fourth is humility – not letting a good story get in the way of the facts, to paraphrase a quote attributed to Mark Twain.
Then there’s autonomy – forming your own thoughts, not just adopting as gospel what someone else may have told you. You may gladly accept others’ guidance, but, in the end, what you think should be your own.
Finally, there is generosity. If you know something that someone else doesn’t know, you share it – willingly and for free. It also means hearing others as they wish to be heard – not looking to pounce on others’ errors, Brooks writes.
All this adds up to openness of thought. To open one’s mind, one must also open his heart and soul. Today’s society is loaded with what the comedians call “truthiness.” Ads, political statements, online postings and other communications are loaded with stretched truth, even outright falsehoods.
The dangers we face have to do with what we accept as true. Along the way, if we have constant curiosity, we might find that something we were told was true by someone or something we respect may not be true. We have to recognize those situations as we encounter them.
So, after reviewing the “Intellectual Virtues,” where do your thoughts fit in? Are you truly open to the truth? If you are, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You’ll see and hear real, truthful stories from real people. You might even like what you hear and see.
It’s possible to become more intellectually virtuous if you are honest about yourself and your thoughts. Change can be hard. Improvements may come slowly. But if you desire intellectual virtue, go for it! Do what you need to do to get it. It may not be as hard to attain as you might think. And, others you never thought would may follow you.
Peter
SPEAK WELL OF YOURSELF — TO YOURSELF
#tennismotivator
Tennis great Novak Djokovic was tied at Wimbledon with Roger Federer, in the gentlemen’s championship match in2014. Federer had won the fourth set to even the match.
Djokovic had to win the last set to win the match. He took a bathroom break after the fourth set, but it was not just a physical moment. It was a mental moment as well.
He looked at himself in the mirror and began to fill himself with positive affirmations. He told himself how good he was, and that he could win the title. He did. That day, he was his own best friend.
Gregg Stienberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay State University in Tennessee, discussed the Wimbledon story in a July 20, 2014, column in The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
People make fun of folks who talk to themselves, but, as Steinberg says, self-talk is actually a type of self-hypnosis. Djokovic actually hypnotized himself into a pure level of confidence after that fourth set, Steinberg writes.
At this writing, both Federer and Djokovic are now competing for the men’s U.S. Open title.
Here are Steinberg’s suggestions of how you can create a positive mental tape that plays in all pressure-packed situations: create a best-friend journal of positive self-statements, or, snap out of negativity with a rubber band around your wrist.
Just as you can talk yourself into doing certain things, you can talk yourself out of doing certain things. The obvious rule here is to talk yourself into doing things that you know are going to create a positive outcome for you, and talk yourself out of doing things that will hurt you.
We don’t always know which is which. Djokovic obviously knew that winning Wimbledon would be a great thing for him, so he talked himself into it. He gave himself the motivation to overcome whatever Federer threw at him.
Was it easy? No. Was it worth it? You bet.
We often find ourselves taking the easiest way out of any circumstance. We find ourselves following the path of least resistance. Djokovic could have thought to himself, “I’ll do the best I can, but finishing second at Wimbledon is not too bad, right?”
Are you aiming for “not too bad?” Probably not. Are you aiming to be the best you can be? Sure. You have to believe you can be great, and you have to do what you need to do to be great.
You may not be great at tennis, or any other sport. But anyone can be great at something. As Darren Hardy, publisher of Success magazine, has said, a lot of great people are mediocre, or even terrible, at some things. That’s because they gave singular focus to the one or two things they are great at, and didn’t worry about being good at anything else.
So, what do you believe you are, or can be, great at? You may not be able to answer that question easily. If you want to be great at something, but are not sure what, there are many things out there that ANYONE can be great at. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You’ll learn how people became great at something that’s simple, but not necessarily easy, and were handsomely rewarded for their achievement.
For some people, talking positively about themselves to themselves may be a great motivator. For some, talking to themselves may not be their thing. For everyone, whether you are into talking to yourself or not, thinking positively about oneself is essential.
Focus on what you CAN do, not what you CAN’T do. Play tennis, or any other sport, for recreation and don’t worry about the score, or winning. You want to WIN at what you are good at.
Find what you are good at and stay with it. You’ll see setbacks and circumstances that may try to derail you. Remember, and believe, that the great ones ALWAYS rise above those things, and carry on. Don’t quit what you want to be great at.
Peter
CHARACTER, DRIVE AND POVERTY
To paraphrase an old adage: give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime.
We’ve developed a culture in which the poor receive aid without conditions. We believe that they are poor because of bad luck or circumstances, or because their parents or other family was poor.
We, as a society, believe some are poor because they are lazy, resentful or don’t have the skills to hold a job. The poor believe they are poor because they have been discriminated against, treated badly by employers or, they believe the government somehow owes them.
How we would love to change the thought process of poverty. On Aug. 4, 2014, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution ran two columns – one by the New York Times’ David Brooks, and the other by engineer and former Atlanta Falcon William White – that discussed the thought process of the poor.
Brooks talked about character development among the poor. He quotes Richard Reeves of the Brookings Institution as saying that both progressive and conservative orthodoxies in dealing with poverty do so in the abstract. He believes the orthodoxies view the poor as a species of “hollow man” whose destiny is shaped by economic structures alone.
White, on the other hand, grew up poor in Lima, Ohio. His father worked in a foundry, in which the only air-conditioned place was the engineer’s office. He was determined to succeed in school and become an engineer. As it happened, he also had a successful 11-year career in the National Football League, after graduating with an engineering degree from The Ohio State University.
What both Brooks and White are saying is that circumstances shouldn’t define a person. They also say that fewer people would be in dire circumstances if they just had the belief that they could get out of them.
We, as a society, can’t want success for anyone more than he wants it for himself, as White has shown. We hate to see anyone live in poverty, but we can’t give anyone the desire to get out. If you have the desire to get out, you WILL get out. You will fight through your circumstances and become successful.
Brooks says we should teach people in dire circumstances several things to help them out of their own situations. First, we teach good habits. If you change behavior, you will change disposition eventually, Brooks writes. He cites many government programs that help poor parents and students to observe basic etiquette and practice small, but regular, acts of self-restraint.
Then, we have to show them opportunity. Most of us, Brooks writes, can only deny short-term pleasures because we see the path between self-denial now and something better down the road.
Third, exemplars. Character is not developed individually. It is instilled by communities and transmitted by elders, Brooks writes. That brings to mind another adage: if you can’t change the people around you, change the people around you.
Fourth, standards. People can only practice restraint after they determine the sort of person they want to be, Brooks writes.
In other words, give people something to shoot for, instill in them the belief that they can get it and show them what they need to do to get it.
If your circumstances aren’t what you want them to be, there are many vehicles out there that could help the person who wants to change his life, and has a vision of what he wants his life to be. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau.
So if you don’t like your circumstances, don’t wallow and blame. Dream that life can be better, believe that YOU can make it better, then step up and do what you need to do.
Peter
WHAT TO DO WITH LOTS OF MONEY: PART 3
#thinklikearichperson
You’ve done OK in life, but you still dream of something better.
So, you play the lottery.
You know the odds are not in your favor, but you can’t win if you don’t play, right?
If you think like a rich person, as author Steve Siebold suggests, you would take the money you spend in lottery tickets and put it into an investment that will multiply over time. In other words, you’ll get rich slowly.
Then, there’s the matter of what you would do with the money if it were suddenly in your possession. If you think like a “middle class” person, as Siebold categorizes it, you would come up with ways to SPEND your newfound fortune. If you thought like a rich person, you would find ways to INVEST your newfound fortune.
The message here is that if you think like a middle-class person, your fortune will disappear relatively quickly. It seems ridiculous, at least to those who think like a rich person, that ANYONE could be given that kind of money and not make it last through his lifetime, and the lifetimes of his descendants or heirs.
You see, thinking like a rich person, you would take your windfall, place it in appropriate investments and spend SOME of the dividends, interest and capital gains. The rest of the gains would be reinvested.
If you think like a middle-class person, your instinct might be to give some of your fortune to your friends, so they can SPEND like they have never spent before. That might make you feel like a really good person.
But, if you think like a rich person, your first instinct might be to give some to reputable charities. You might give some to your family. But the only way you would give money to your friends is if your friends had good investments that you could get in on. You would probably never give money to friends to spend, knowing they would not spend it wisely.
So it’s not only your thoughts about making money that matter. Your thoughts about how you would use money matter just as much.
So where are your thoughts today? If it’s Monday, are you dreading another workweek? Or, are you seeing your job as a means to an end, because you are slowly building a fortune?
If you think that way, you’ll think of Mondays as one more day until your ultimate payday. If you like your job, or at least have found enough things to like about it to make it relatively pleasant to go to work, it will make building your fortune that much easier.
So how does a “middle class” or working person build a fortune? First, you have to have a regular savings plan. Have money taken out of your check – it doesn’t matter how much or little you make – regularly to go into savings. Then, don’t touch it, unless you are buying into a superior investment. Let it grow for as long as you work.
Also, as Siebold suggests, perhaps you can find a vehicle that will allow you to build a fortune without interfering with your job. There are many such vehicles out there. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You’ll see lots of former “middle class” folks who learned to revise their thinking, and could tell their employers goodbye quite early in life.
In short, thoughts matter, especially thoughts about money. Give first priority to growing money, second priority to help others grow money and third priority on spending money – wisely. Even if you don’t have much money now, thinking that way will provide you an eventual fortune.
Peter
TRAPPINGS OF UPBRINGING: PART 2
#thinklikearichperson
Growing up, were you often told what was NOT possible?
Did your elders convince you that the world was going to hell in a hand basket?
Were you constantly reminded of your “limitations?”
And, were you told that if you didn’t do certain things, you’d be messed up for life?
These and other things are common in “middle class” thinking, as defined by author Steve Siebold in his book “How Rich People Think.”
He talks about how we are often steered on a path of security, scarcity and pessimism, as opposed to risk-taking, abundance and optimism.
The trick to getting off that train of thought, and potentially becoming wealthy, is relearning what IS possible, believing that things will always get better and knowing that the sky is the limit to your success.
There is certainly nothing wrong with respecting your elders – parents, teachers, preachers etc. There is nothing wrong with emulating their work ethic and empathizing with their struggles. But ultimately, you may realize that some of what they taught you may not work for you. The secret to becoming rich is believing you can be. The secret to becoming rich, as Siebold points out, is to find solutions to problems, or figuring out what people want and delivering it to them.
If you have a job, and most of us do, recognize it for what it is. Especially in this day and age, it’s hardly the security blanket it once might have been. Look at it as a means to move you toward what you really want – that is, if you think like a rich person.
If you monitor how a rich person behaves, you’ll learn that he doesn’t behave that way BECAUSE he has money. He has money because he behaves the way he does.
Sure, good ideas might come from outside the box. But a familiar pattern of limitless possibilities, optimism and fearlessness are pretty standard among those who have money.
As we grow older, we realize that many of our fears are taught. Much of what we view as “evil” was handed down to us. Much of what we see on the horizon we approach with extreme caution and wariness, out of concern that we might lose everything.
To think rich, you don’t have to be rich. But if you think rich, you might become rich. Start by getting comfortable with taking calculated risks. Then, believe that the world will definitely get better, and you are going to help make it so. Then, realize the security you so doggedly sought is at least teetering, if not collapsed altogether. But, that’s OK. Rich people don’t expect entities to give them anything, Siebold writes.
Take a good look at your life. Are you completely happy with it? You just may be. Perhaps you have a wonderful spouse , a supportive family and dependable friends. With all that, who needs financial abundance, right?
But if life is not giving you what you want, and believe you deserve, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Feed your mind with good information, inspiration and possibilities. Learn that your future can be bright no matter what else happens.
To paraphrase Napoleon Hill, learn to think and become rich.
Peter
HOW TO THINK ABOUT MONEY: PART 1
If you had all the money in the world, how would you feel?
There are all kinds of answers, and there are many books out there that try to teach us how to think about money.
Steve Siebold has written one called, “How Rich People Think.” It teaches, much the way Napoleon Hill teaches in “Think and Grow Rich,” or Robert Kiyosaki in “Rich Dad, Poor Dad,” that we have to look at how we think before we can get rich.
Sure, you can inherit a bunch of money from your late great aunt, or you can win a big lottery jackpot. But, chances are, if you have what Siebold calls “middle class thoughts” about money, you probably won’t have your fortune for very long.
Most of us have been taught that hard work, a good education and keeping your nose to the grindstone for, say, 40 years will help you retire comfortably.
But if you think like a rich person, you are not thinking about having enough money to retire, as Siebold writes. You are thinking about having enough money to make an impact on the world.
In other words, to be rich, you have to think of solutions to problems, and invent them.
Most of us were taught that if we had a job, or something else that was paying us, we had to worry about holding onto it. Rich people will try things, fail numerous times, and try something else. They don’t fear failure or loss. In fact, they don’t fear much of anything. Even if they lose their fortunes, they know they will find a way to make them back.
That may be why it’s difficult to really punish white-collar criminals. They used their genius for evil, and most of us would like nothing more than to see them lose everything. Even if they lost everything, they would find a way to make it back – hopefully in an ethical, law-abiding way this time.
Yes, we all would like to have a lot of money. Some of us believe it is not possible for us to get a lot of money. It’s possible for anyone to get a lot of money, just by thinking the right thoughts. You don’t think about who would give it to you. You think about how you can come up with the idea that people will pay you for.
Then, you think about how you can use and grow that money. As Siebold writes, middle-class people think about how to spend money. Rich people think about how to invest money.
Most of us have been taught to get a good education – get through high school, go to college, get a degree in something that will get you a good job. Rich people, Siebold says, don’t think of education in terms of degrees. They think of education as learning anything that will make them money. Some of the richest people in the world have relatively little formal education. They’ve just thought about ways to make money, learned what they needed to pull it off and gotten rich.
Do you think like a rich person? Do you think like a middle-class person? Do you think of making money via a job, or making money via an idea? Once you get money, do you think more of ways to spend it, or more of ways to invest it?
As you ponder these questions, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You will see how some ordinary, middle-class folks got wealthy, and how you could do the same. The only difference between them and you is how they think. It’s difficult to become rich, until you first learn to think like a rich person.
Give it a shot. Think what you would do to make a lot of money, and to not just preserve it, but use it to help others. Don’t be jealous or envious of the rich. If you feel that way, remember the best way you can help the poor is not to be one of them.
Peter
THE FOUNTAIN OF AGE
Many who are old may wish they were young again.
Then again, others would rather not either relive their past, or be young in this day and age.
Reporter Kerry Hannon wrote an article on aging in the June 29, 2014, edition of USA Today.
Paul Irving, president of the Milken Institute, has a collection of essays on aging from experts across America, titled “The Upside of Aging: Long Life Is Changing the World of Health, Work, Innovation, Policy and Purpose.” Hannon used these essays to source the article.
“The common spine of their discussions is finding creative solutions to a range of issues from age-friendly housing alternatives and transportation systems to lifelong learning and socially focused encore careers,” Hannon writes.
Let’s start our discussion by paraphrasing baseball great Satchel Paige: “how old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?”
Would you want to be 30 again? How about 20? If you are in those age groups, you’ll think about this later in life. Prepare now to live a good, long life and be healthy, wealthy and wise.
If you are somewhat older, closer to retirement, how do you feel about your job? Does it give you any pleasure? Are you counting the days when you could retire?
“Every person will have the opportunity to be ‘right’ for his or her personalized aging,” writes Pinchas Cohen, dean of the USC-Davis School of Gerontology. In other words, we won’t all age the same way. Some of us will have different health challenges. Some of us will work until we die – here’s hoping that you love your work that much. Still, others will struggle financially and others will struggle to find enough to do when they stop working.
Many will feel forced into a situation that they had no control over, i.e. their employer “retires” them before they wanted to go. Though we can’t control those situations, we can control how we proceed after something happens.
The one advantage to being young today is having the time to plan to get older. We can’t anticipate every curve ball someone will throw, but we can have the ability to either catch it, or hit it out of the park when it comes our way. Everyone should presume to be thrown curve balls at inconvenient times.
Those with less time to plan may have to start from scratch at an age at which one should relax. There are many ways out there in which one can start from scratch, no matter what age he is now. To check out one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You may see a good financial future, that can also give you time to enjoy what you love.
So don’t dread aging – embrace it. Don’t waste time and energy thinking how good life was years ago. Anticipate how good life will be years from now.
We all have different views of the past, and have different ideas for the future. Remember your past fondly, but look with great optimism to the future.
Most of us will live a good, long life. Prepare now for how you will pay for it, how you want to feel as you live it and, most importantly, how you want to enjoy it.
Peter
WHY DESIRE TO BE AVERAGE
#average
The country group Alabama’s song, “Cheap Seats,” is an anthem to average.
It talks about middle-sized towns, minor league baseball and a local band that is, “not that bad, and not that good.” But, the average guys love to dance after watching their minor-league game so the average band is just fine.
How great the “average” life is.
Many people look for politicians who are “average” people, but usually can’t find them.
You see, “average” people can’t afford to give up their average jobs that support their average lifestyles, on the chance that enough “average” people will vote them in.
So, as a substitute, the “average” folks look for politicians who can RELATE to “average” people.
This begs two questions: how do we define “average,” and why is it desirable to be “average?”
The definition of “average” is fluid. In our smarter, technologically advancing world, it changes by the second. We often desire to be average because it’s safe, comfortable and we’ve been told by our elders that “average” is good. It grounds us. It gives us security. It tells us not to take chances or risks. And, by the way, all the people we want as our friends are all “average.”
“Average” people raise good children. Hopefully, those children will become good, yet “average,” adults. Average people mind their own business and, if they are lucky, maintain a good, average life in old age.
With the fluid definition of “average,” might there come a day when we won’t want to be “average” anymore?
When might the day come that we become better than average, even “great,” without becoming different people?
We all want what the above-average people have, but the essence of our “averageness” makes us not want to jump out of our comfort zone to go for it. Those who do are no longer considered “average,” and may even be resented by most “average” people.
But, in most cases, as we elevate out of “averageness,” we become different people in the process. This begs a final question: is that a bad thing?
Perhaps we don’t want to elevate because our friends will resent us. Perhaps we don’t want to elevate because doing so will require us to do “uncomfortable” things. Perhaps we don’t want to elevate out of fear of disappointing those we love.
Make no mistake: those who elevate from average will become different people. That difference may be resented by some friends. But, in the elevation process, one may make many new friends. The discomfort one may have felt in the elevation process will not only subside, but also eventually become very comfortable. Confidence in achievement greatly mitigates discomfort.
If you want to elevate, but see yourself currently as “average,” there are many vehicles available to help you rise above “averageness.” For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You’ll see lots of “average” people who have indeed elevated.
It was said of the late Sen. Howard Baker of Tennessee, that he was like the Tennessee River: right down the middle in his political viewpoint. Sometimes, being right down the middle can accomplish more than being an “average” person.
Peter
POWER PLAYS
#powerplay
When you hear the term “power play,” you think of something evil.
But a power play can mean lots of things.
In hockey, a team is on a power play when it is on the ice with a man advantage, after a player on the other team is penalized. The penalized player must sit out for a period of time. The team keeps the power play until the penalty is over, or it scores, whichever comes first.
The power plays we most often think of are when a person gains a slight advantage, and exploits it to the detriment of others. Perhaps you may have known someone who, say, got a promotion and becomes your boss. He or she then has a different relationship with you, and may use it to your disadvantage.
In May 2014, Russia made a power play by disrupting neighboring Ukraine. It used the ethnic Russian population of Ukraine to attempt to take over parts, or, eventually, all of the country. Much of the world has condemned the action and is helping Ukraine fight off this Russian power play.
But what if power plays were gentle, and hurt no one. In fact, what if power plays helped all that witnessed them?
As we’ve discussed before, what if we could use power to empower?
When that occurs, we have to learn not to fear the power play. Once we get past the fear of the power play, we can then embrace it. Once we embrace it, we can perform it on others, who could then ultimately embrace it and do the same.
Everyone would like to have power. The challenge becomes once gaining power, how one uses it. Will it be used for the good, or for evil?
The fear of power often discourages people from seeking it. Therefore, they can become victims of those who gain it.
No matter how much good one can do with power, he may always have naysayers and others who will criticize him because of his power. The benevolent dictator is rare.
We, as individuals, have to learn NOT to fear power. We have to learn how to gain power, even in small ways. We have to learn, once gaining power, how to use it to help others.
Though we talk of power plays, power is not play. It is used for good and evil. It must be used responsibly. It must be used for the benefit of others, not to the detriment of others.
Want to gain power to help others? Visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. If you like what you see, you will learn the art of the gentle power play. You will learn that helping others IS power.
Though evil power is feared, don’t fear gaining power. Power, in the hands of good people, is good for the world. Therefore, when you invited to empower yourself, don’t RSVP with regret. Go for it with enthusiasm.
Seek the gentle, benevolent power play. Let others do it to you, so you can do it to others. It will put an entirely new spin on the Golden Rule. And, ultimately, you, and those who follow you, will rule!
Peter