#natalists #babies #children #MothersDay #HavingMoreChildren
We just celebrated Mother’s Day.
Certain people want more mothers. Or, more accurately, more children.
Nedra Rhone, the “Real Life” columnist for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, cites a lot of reasons women don’t have children, or as many children, as some would like. She discussed the issue in her May 8, 2025, column.
As Rhone, who happens to be a mother, points out, there are many reasons women don’t have children. She also says that some women may want children, but circumstances haven’t allowed them to have them.
In fact, the U.S. population, as is the case with most developed countries, is aging. People are not “replacing themselves” at a rate that keeps the population growing.
We want the population to grow for many reasons, including having enough workers to replace those who retire.
But this natalist movement appears aimed at creating children that only fit a certain demographic.
Immigrants can bolster the work force, and have lots of children, but most don’t match the desired demographic.
The elephant in the room, of course, is the cost of children. Rhone points out that it costs about $200,000 to raise a child from birth to age 18.
Not everyone has that kind of money, or the ability and opportunity to earn that much.
Women are a significant boost to the work force, but the natalists prefer women to stay home and raise children. Again, not every woman has the luxury, opportunity or desire to do that.
Then, as Rhone points out, some women don’t really want to bring children into the world as it currently is. What she doesn’t talk about in her column is what happens to children when they become adults.
With the cost of living, housing etc. as it is, many young adults cannot afford to live on their own, never mind starting a family. They often live with mom and dad long after age 18. Some are burdened with student debt. Some just can’t find work that pays enough to live independently.
The natalist and pro-life movements want children to be born at any cost – even if the mother dies doing so. But, they offer no means to ensure these children are properly fed, clothed, housed, educated and otherwise taken care of.
Many other countries do take care of their children. The citizens may pay dearly in taxes for it, but, to them, it’s well worth it.
These natalists say they love individual freedom. That is, unless you are a woman of child-bearing age. Would you want to have more children if you live in a place in which your medical providers are severely restricted in how they can care for you during and around your pregnancy?
This should not be a matter of debate. People should have the freedom to start and grow families as they see fit – or not.
The natalists can do much more to encourage more births by giving women – and men – the resources to be able to work AND tend to families, without unwanted sacrifices.
Being pro-life means not only encouraging life’s creation, but also making it easier for both parents and children to sustain a quality of life.
Peter
Tag Archives: “Real Life”
NEW PARENTING STRATEGIES: LESS FIRM, MORE INCLUSIVE
#parenting #ParentingStrategies #children #ChildrensAnxieties #depression
Children significantly are more anxious and depressed than they were five years ago.
So says a March article in JAMA Pediatrics,. The article was quoted in Nedra Rhone’s “Real Life” column published October 6, 2022, in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
Much of this anxiety is attributable to the pandemic, but, as Rhone points out, anxiety in children from birth to age 17 has been on the rise long before COVID-19.
In fact, she points out, from 2016 to 2019, children’s anxiety increased 27 percent and depression increased 24 percent, quoting data from a study from the National Survey of Children’s Health.
Parents and caregivers have suffered a steady decline in well-being over the past five years, she quotes from that study.
Shefali Tsabary has advocated for a parenting style that dispenses with traditional paradigms featuring control, fear and punishment, Rhone writes. Tsabary has a doctorate in clinical psychology and specializes in blending Western psychology and Eastern philosophy.
“What children really need from parents is not a laundry list of rules, and overload of shame and guilt or feeling silenced and oppressed. Children need to feel seen, to feel worth and to know that they matter for who they are rather than their accomplishments,” Rhone writes from Tsabary’s work.
There is much to unpack here, but suffice it to say that the old way of parenting apparently is not cutting it with kids today. In past decades, parents told kids what they expected of them. They may have even told them how they were going to live their lives as adults. Kids who fought such instruction were considered rebels, or something worse.
When some parents were children, rigor was all they knew. Disappointing Mom and Dad was taboo, even though Mom and Dad wanted them to be something they weren’t, or did not want to be.
Certainly, children need to be taught right from wrong. After all, some things are indisputably right, and indisputably wrong. But today, right and wrong have much gray area between them. Children should be allowed, with perhaps some limitations, to explore that gray area and decide for themselves what, to them, is right and wrong.
Kids should have some freedom to “be kids,” again with appropriate limitations. As they navigate childhood, they will make decisions for themselves AND accept consequences for those decisions.
Some will want to be like their parents. Some will want to be completely different from them as they grow.
If they want to be different from their parents, or what their parents expect from them, it likely is not from a lack of love of parents.
Parents, therefore, should encourage children to be who they want to be, with appropriate warning about the pitfalls of pursuit.
Perhaps that will make them less depressed or anxious. Parental and academic requirements can be overwhelming. Parents should strive to encourage their children, while trying to ease their burdens. Parents may not think burdens on children are a big problem, but they can be bigger than many realize.
Raising children in an atmosphere of encouragement rather than rigor may keep many from developing conditions that can be debilitating for life.
Peter