#MLK #Selma #adultsandkids
Today, we honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
A question to ponder: if King came back today, what would he think about how we handled his legacy?
Beverly Keel, a columnist for The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville, raised this question in a Jan. 18, 2015, column. Keel was 2 when King was assassinated in 1968. But after seeing the movie “Selma,” she was struck when the movie ended by saying that King was only 39 when he died.
But, as she says, King led and acted as an adult. Yet, many in the world today act like children or adolescents. As Keel points out, even country music, once filled with truth-telling songs by Hank Williams and Kris Kristofferson, is now filled with songs that objectify women and celebrate intoxication.
Today, there is a wide gap between the economic haves and have-nots. How do you see this gap? If you are a have, do you hold what you have up so high that the have-nots will never reach it, then laugh as they jump up futilely trying to grab it? Or do you help those have-nots try to get what you have?
If you are a have-not, do you look at the haves with jealousy and envy, and whine that they have what you don’t have? Or, are you open to looking for ways to get what they have?
One option is a childish behavior. The other option is an adult behavior.
If you prefer an adult behavior, no matter your circumstance, one option is to visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau.
King’s battle is still being fought today. There are those who behave like children, who see King’s battle as a power struggle, fought with weapons. There are others who behave like adults, who know they are morally right, and carry on, often behind the scenes, to make things right.
As long as there are adults, and there are children, even morally right battles may never be won. Making things right will never be easy. But the adults will ALWAYS carry on peacefully, help others and often see their own success.
You can look at your own situation, your own life, and determine whether you are behaving as an adult or a child. You may not always see the adult solutions to every problem, but, as an adult, you are always looking for them. If you look hard enough, and take advantage of opportunities presented to you, you eventually will find the “adult” solution that suits you.
If you look at your situation, your own life, as a child, you will always look at others having what you don’t, complain profusely about it and hope those others get their due someday.
Remember, too, that adults want others to have what they have. Children do not.
King worked very hard, suffered greatly and put himself in harm’s way to do the adult thing. He indeed paid the ultimate price Perhaps his biggest regret is not living to see the fruits of his sacrifice.
What would he think if he came back today? What would you want him to think, if he came back today?
Peter
Category Archives: Uncategorized
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT WORK?
#work #careers #retirement4
Chances are, if you ask someone on his death bed what he wished he had done more of, he wouldn’t say “work.”
But Rory Vaden, cofounder of Southwestern Consulting and best-selling author of “Take the Stairs,” says, “work is integral, work is freedom, work is joy.”
If one asks his elders about work, he would hear things like, “I worked hard all my life.” Or, “you don’t get anywhere in this world without hard work.”
For many of us, if we look today at what we do for work, we can’t wait to be financially able to quit working, relax and do other things that we don’t consider work.
But Vaden, who discussed this in a Nov. 16, 2014, column in The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville, says the idea of “retirement,” and “leisure,” are changing.
We can see that in today’s world, without looking very far.
The idea of working at a job for 30 or 40 years, then suddenly “retiring” to do “nothing,” are pretty much gone. Today, many people are being “retired” before they want to be.
Staying at one job, or one company, for even 10 years is difficult because companies reorganize often, and bad managers are career killers.
We all would love to have jobs we enjoy, but we all know someone has to do the job no one wants to do.
If you happen to find a job you love, you are blessed. If that job lasts you most, or all, of your career, you are unusual.
Retirement planners tend to look not only at financial issues, but also whether a person is ready to retire. If you had all the money in the world, what would YOU do in retirement? As tempting as relaxation is, it will get old. When it does, boredom is not a pleasant condition.
Vaden quotes Timothy Keller, author of “Every Good Endeavor,” who quotes the Bible: “The book of Genesis leaves us with a striking truth – work is paradise.”
For many, work is paradise only if you don’t have work, and you need work. But, on the other hand, to paraphrase Vaden, whom do you know who hasn’t worked, or doesn’t work, who is worth looking up to?
Our work is part of who we are. It can also consume us. Yet, for most, work has a purpose in life, but it is NOT our whole life. Those who see work for what it is, and use it to make a good life, are perhaps the happiest of us.
The lesson here is to use your work to make you better person. If you are young, prepare for the day when your job disappears. You will probably never know when that day will be.
One way to prepare for a job to go away is to have a Plan B. There are many such Plan Bs out there. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You can work at Plan B when you are not working at your job. If you work at it correctly, you can eventually fire your awful boss.
Vaden asks, “why do we subscribe to this myth that our lives would be much better if we had less work?”
The answer to that is different for everyone. But, when you arrive on your death bed, try to have as few regrets as possible. We should all work at minimizing our regrets.
Peter
LIVES OF ORDER, BOREDOM
#lifeisgood #UnchainTheElephant #findyourpassion
“I had been seduced into a life of little conviction – a logical, systematic existence. My best talents had been buried beneath well-intentioned, but ultimately lifeless rules, meant to hem me into the corporate fabric.”
Erik Wahl
Life is good.
It is. Really. But for some, a “good life” is not enough. They have been taught what a “good life” is, and they live by what they are taught. Yet, they long to do something else — something their parents, teachers, preachers and bosses would never advise them to do.
Erik Wahl, in his book “Unchain the Elephant: Reframe Your Thinking to Unleash Your Potential,” compares an elephant’s behavior in the wild, vs. an elephant’s behavior in captivity. He points out that elephants that are born in captivity are chained to trees and posts. When they test the chain, and realize they can’t go anywhere, they eventually learn that they are not supposed to go anywhere. As a result, the tether becomes unnecessary and the captors need not fear the elephant will take off.
Wahl was told at a young age by a teacher that art was not his strength. He quickly became conditioned to believe that he would never be an artist. Yet, eventually he became a well-known graphic artist – but only after he got good grades, played by the rules and had a great corporate career.
“I gave away my freedom at a young age,” Wahl says.
Many of us want to please our elders. They purport to know what is best for us. So, as children, we listen, obey and are guided to a “good life,” whether we like it or not. Our elders truly believe they are only after our best interest.
But what if adulthood comes, and we find that though life is “good,” something is missing. How many people can, like Wahl, reflect on that, THEN take the steps to unleash a passion. Without passion, we go through the motions of life. Those motions may lead us to good things, but it is like pedaling a stationary bike. You might be making progress toward good health, but you are not going anywhere. Life is so good where you are, you believe, there is no need to go anywhere?
We all learn to take pleasure in little things. We are told to stop and smell the roses, as the song goes, but not if it’s going to delay your next work project. Completing work projects gives you the money to make life “good.”
What if you could make money without completing such projects? What if money came to you while you were stopping to smell the roses?
What if you could pursue your passion without worrying about making a living? Believe it or not, there are many ways out there to do that. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. If you can be financially successful pursuing your passion, as Wahl and others have done, that’s a gift. But many need a financial cushion to give them the time to pursue a passion.
Are you a chained elephant? Are you an elephant without the chain, who has been taught never to escape? Is what you have learned about creating a good life enough for you? If so, your stamina is to be admired. If not, and have a passion you might not dare pursue, think about the chained – and tame, unchained – elephant. With instincts marginalized, it has everything it needs for a “good” life.
Go wild, if you dare. You just might find a great escape.
Peter
HAPPY NEW YEAR! WHERE ARE YOU?
#newyear #happynewyear #jointheride
The new year is coming this week. Do you know where you are?
Not your precise location, but where you are in life?
Better yet, do you know where you want to be? Is where you are en route to where you want to be, or are you currently off course, or lost?
If you’re off course, or lost, do you know what you need to do to get back on course? Do you see yourself never knowing where you are going, or even where you want to go?
Let’s start where you are, because it’s really the only place to start from.
If you are young, say 20-something, or 30-something, you are probably en route to somewhere. Do you have an idea of your ultimate destination? Your destination is all that’s important, because you’ll undoubtedly hit some bumps in the road, or turns that will get you off course. If you know that, you’ll know what you have to do to get back on course.
If you are fortunate enough to have a smooth ride to your ultimate destination, great. Chances are, though you won’t, so plan on unexpected diversions.
One way to combat diversions is to form good habits. If you like gooey desserts or snacks, forgo one a week. If you buy a cup or two of coffee a day, consider cutting out one or two a week. Better yet, make your own coffee at home and bring it with you. Same with any meals you might eat at work.
However you do it, figure out the money you are saving and PUT IT AWAY into a safe investment. Do the same with any raises you get at work, though these days, raises are scarce. Don’t touch what you’ve saved.Let it grow.
You’ll be surprised at how much money you’ll have at, say, age 50.
If you’ve reached 50 or higher, time is not on your side. But those same llitle things can still help you. Keep in mind, though that there are many vehicles out there that might help you make up lost ground. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Younger folks, too, may find a way to get to their destinations faster by exploring this option.
So take the time to figure out where you are, where you want to go and how you are going to get there.
Consider being an entrepreneur. For a good manual on how to do that, check out Darren Hardy’s book, “The Entrepreneur Roller Coaster.”
Regardless of what you do, plan for obstacles, but know your destination. And, know what you need to do to get there.
Happy New Year!
Peter
CELEBRATIONS AND STRESS
#holidaystress #celebrations #holidays #Christmas
No matter which holiday you celebrate this time of year, make sure you celebrate and have fun.
Often, though, this time of year is one of stress and, as Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay University in Tennessee calls them, “irrational thoughts.”
Steinberg, who discussed this in a column in the Dec. 21, 2014, edition of the Tennessean newspaper in Nashville, says we often feel that the pressure is on us to be perfect. We have to cook the perfect holiday feast or keep that perfect holiday cheer.
Quoting famed psychologist Carl Jung, “Perfection belongs to the gods; the most we can hope for is excellence,” Steinberg writes.
Trying to be perfect during the holidays is impossible, causing us to suffer instead of feel joy, Steinberg writes.
In other words, feel the joy, love and other goodness of the season. Strive to make the celebration as good as it can be, without overthinking things. If you enjoy baking, go ahead, but don’t make it feel like a project. If you hate to bake, don’t. Leave it to those who love it. Or, if you must have baked goods around, attend one of the many holiday bake sales at churches, schools etc. If all else fails, buy what you like at the store and be done with it. Don’t stress about it.
Don’t agonize over that perfect gift for someone. Find what you think someone will like, buy it and give it to the person whenever you open gifts. Unless you love to spend hours shopping and fighting crowds – many people do – if you see something you think someone might like or use, grab it, pay for it at the checkout counter and go. Don’t add irrational stress to the holiday experience.
Here’s the tough part of keeping holidays joyful. At least for a while, forget about your troubles. Yes, that’s certainly easier said than done, especially if you have just lost a loved one and have had some financial hardships. In the latter case, just do what you can and don’t feel compelled to overspend. Those who love you would rather see you joyful than stressful. It doesn’t matter to them what you can or can’t afford.
How do you forget about your troubles if you are overwhelmed by them? Think about what is good in your life, and be grateful for those things. Focus on those things during this season. It will enhance your joy and reduce your stress.
Steinberg goes on to talk about irrational beliefs vs. realistic ones. He suggests making a list of all your beliefs that put pressure on you, and ask whether the beliefs are grounded in reality. In many cases, what you believe is true, or believe you must do, is based on opinion rather than fact. If such beliefs are hurting your performance, or causing you unhappiness, it’s time to find more rational beliefs, Steinberg writes.
Perhaps it may be time to check out something that could change your life. There are many things you may, or may not, be aware of that could turn you into a joyful person. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You could find that fun way to relieve much of what stresses you.
Most importantly, have a joyful holiday season, and a prosperous new year. Examine your life and find out what is really important, and what is not. This should be a time of joy, not stress. It should be a time of celebration. Time with family, friends and life itself is certainly worth celebrating. Things don’t have to be perfect to be fun.
Enjoy. Celebrate. Live!
Peter
CHAIRS, COMFORT AND ADJUSTMENTS
#officechairs #adjustablechairs #comfortablechairs
Life is like an adjustable office chair.
You get to your work station and adjust your chair until it’s perfectly comfortable for you and, of course, ergonomically correct.
As your work station changes, your chair changes. Or, if you keep your same comfortable chair, and your work station changes, you readjust the chair. Simple, right?
So why do many have so much trouble adjusting to life changes?
Sure, readjustments in life are not as simple as those for a chair.
Still, they have to be done.
How dare anyone take away the comfort of your chair?
To be sure, they can, and they will.
This thought about chairs and comfort beg another question: are you SO comfortable in that chair that you not dare give it up willingly, even if something better came along?
Yes, certain comforts can be inhibiting. Sometimes, risking potential discomfort can make one even more comfortable eventually.
So, as you sit in your perfectly adjusted chair, what are you feeling right now? Are you so content that you fear disrupting that comfort? Are you anxious that someone else may disrupt it, and you can’t stop him? Have you worn enough of the padding from the chair that you are aiming to retire to your rocking chair, with the attitude: time served? Or, are you restless, bored and/or frustrated?
If you are, or believe you might be, part of that latter group, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You may see something you’ve never seen before, which could be uncomfortable. Or, you may see a potentially lucrative and fun new comfort zone.
Chairs, work stations and comforts can and will come and go. Just as you finally get comfortable in a new chair or work station, it could change. You have to decide whether the readjustments will be easy or hard. You have to decide that you will examine ALL adjustments before finding the right one.
Remember: life is an adjustable office chair. Find your comfort, realize it will be temporary and look for your next comfort zone.
May you not sit still as your chairs, or adjustments, change.
Peter
HOW WILL YOU RETIRE WITHOUT AN IRA, 401(K)?
#ira #401(k), #retirement #savings
The share of American families that have IRAs or 401(k) retirement plans has spiraled down in the past decade, while the amount of assets in the accounts of people who have them has been climbing during that time.
So reported Tim Grant of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, quoting the Washington, D.C., based Employee Benefit Research Institute. It reported that the percentage of all families with an individual retirement plan, such as an IRA or 401(k), decreased from 52.8 percent in 2001 to 48.2 percent in 2013.
“For many families, individual account retirement plan savings constitute most of whatever financial assets they have,” Grant quotes Craig Copeland, senior research associate at EBRI.
The bevy of concerns these numbers produce is staggering. What will happen to fewer than 50 percent of the 76 million Baby Boomers, who for the next 18 years will be turning 65 at a rate of 8,000 a day? Grant quotes Thomas Mackell, former chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank in Richmond, Va., who believes many people are unable to save for long-term financial needs because U.S. wages have gone down, not up.
Yet, Grant quotes Mackell, those who have had the ability to save for retirement have benefited from a rising stock market.
Certainly, during the recent Great Recession, many have tapped into their retirement plans early, just to survive. But, they will pay a potentially huge price for that decision down the road.
When one is in middle age and loses a job, and can’t readily find another – or at least one that pays as well as the one he lost – he can feel very desperate. Not only has he lost current income, he potentially has lost the pension he was counting on. Social Security alone isn’t going to provide anyone with a good retirement.
If you are feeling desperate and are tempted to liquidate your retirement savings, stop! Get some financial counseling. Find a way to get through your rough times without sacrificing your future.
Remember, people are living longer. Retirement periods are lasting longer. Don’t let your money run out before you die.
Fortunately, for as many concerns about retirement savings that the ERBI numbers raise, there are many solutions as well. There are many ways to make a potentially great income that have nothing to do with traditional employment. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau.
Not every income solution is for everyone, so examine them with care. But don’t shy away from looking if you believe you have to dip into your retirement savings early.
If you are young, start an IRA or 401(k) immediately. If you can, contribute the maximum amount you are allowed to. It wouldn’t hurt to check out other income streams, too, because even if you have a great job now, don’t expect it to be there for your lifetime.
Most of all, as we plunge headlong into the holiday season, first and foremost, be grateful for the good things you have in your life. If you are having financial issues, don’t hesitate to ask for – and look for — help. Don’t do anything rash with your money. Think not only about today, but the many years you potentially have left to live.
It’s not good to solving a financial problem today by messing up your financial future. The “help” you thought you were going to get in your elder years may not be there when you need it. YOU have to act, and the sooner, the better.
Live as well as you can for as long as you can. Remember, everything in life is about your choices. Choose wisely.
Peter
CHEAPER GASOLINE PUMPS ALL OF US UP
#cheapoil #OPEC #gasprices
The elements of an improving economy may not be obvious to everyone.
But the shrinking price of gasoline certainly is.
In fact, gasoline is as cheap as it has been in many years.
Why is it so cheap and how long are these prices expected to last?
On Thanksgiving Day 2014, OPEC (the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries) decided not to cut crude oil production to raise prices.
On top of that, the United States, Canada and other regions are producing more oil, according to an article by Rick Jervis for USA Today. His article appeared in the Tennessean newspaper in Nashville Nov. 23, 2014, prior to the OPEC meeting on Thanksgiving.
Jervis’ article pointed out that while OPEC could still influence the oil market, it doesn’t have as much clout as it did years ago. In fact, a decision by OPEC – whatever that was – would have made the front page of every U.S. newspaper years ago. On Friday, newspapers ran the story but most ran it on the inside, or on the front of the business section.
Sure, we are loving paying less at the pump. It’s real money going back into our pockets. Still, the oil industry doesn’t like these low prices. OPEC was between a rock and a hard spot. If it cut production to raise prices, it would encourage more oil exploration in the United States and elsewhere. Getting oil out of the shale and tar sands of North Dakota and Texas, though it has been a blessing for us consumers, is still more expensive than getting it out of the deserts of the Middle East.
The lower prices are discouraging more exploration here and, as Jervis’ article pointed out, OPEC was keenly aware of that. The oil industry is not in business to give us cheap gasoline, though that has been the result of alternative oil sourcing.
Another big bonus for the United States is that it is not so reliant on countries who may not like us much. Though any new skirmish in the Middle East could send oil prices soaring again, it would also encourage more exploration here.
Also, we are using less oil and gasoline here. Vehicles are more fuel efficient. Many vehicles are only partially fueled by gasoline. Some vehicles are not fueled at all by gasoline. Less demand keeps prices down.
And, as The New York Times recently reported, alternative fuels, such as wind and solar power, are becoming nearly as cost-effective as coal and natural gas. That will trend well toward keeping oil and gasoline prices down.
In the last several years, many of us have been hurt by a troubled economy. We’ve been hurt so badly that we don’t see what’s good about today’s economy.
What should we do? First, put the money you are saving at the gas pump into a savings vehicle. It will take you a while to see financial recovery that way, but it would be a start.
Second, if you truly aren’t feeling the good economy, check out the many other ways there are to make money outside of a job. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You’ll find average people making above-average incomes, and helping others do the same.
Just because you can’t see everything happening in the economy doesn’t mean they aren’t happening. The gasoline prices are obvious to all of us. The rising stock market may not be obvious to all.
The lesson for all of us is to be optimistic about the future. Don’t let the naysayers tell you we are heading for hell in a hand basket. The future looks bright. And, you can make your own future bright by taking action you may never have thought of taking. Go for it! You won’t know what there is to gain until you look for it.
Peter
DON’T WORK TOO HARD?
#workhard
We’ve all had friends who have, usually as they are leaving us, wishing us well and telling us not to work too hard.
Our parents, teachers, coaches and other mentors all tell us that hard work is required to get almost anything.
So why would our friends tell us not to work too hard?
Let’s forget for a minute work-life balance, and overwork-induced stress. Our friends don’t want us to work too hard because we might give our employers more than the employers are paying for.
Most good, conscientious people don’t want to be deliberately unproductive, or give less than they know they should. Most of them want to be as productive as they can be. Some will risk their physical and mental well-being to be so.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do things right, and pleasing your boss. But there should come a point at which one asks himself, who’s working for me? If I’m working for him or her, is he or she also working for me? If I am helping him or her get what HE or SHE wants, is he or she returning the favor?
Many people believe that they work for a paycheck. They get so busy doing that, they don’t even think about their own big picture. Sure, your boss might ask you in a performance review where you want to be in five years, 10 years etc. You give some pat answer, even if you KNOW you may not want to be in that place, doing what you are doing now, all those years later.
Even people who want to be doing something different in the future are so consumed by their circumstances that they not only can see no way out, but also they won’t even consider great alternatives that may be presented to them.
Those that do consider alternatives sometimes find great things that they never knew existed. To do that, one has to be willing to look. Serendipity is great when it happens, but, generally, one has to be willing to look for alternatives to find them.
If you believe your current situation needs to change, AND you are willing to see what might be out there to help you change it, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Some may not find what they are looking for there, but others may find just the thing. You may also find not only that you can work hard for you, but others will work hard for YOU!
Polls show people dismayed, pessimistic and downright hostile to the future. But, when one looks at facts, rather than conjecture, he will likely find many good things out there to be had. He will also see that he can HAVE them by doing something a little different.
In short, don’t work too hard for someone else. Work hard for you! Very few others will work for you. Do what you need to do to make your situation better. Complaining requires energy that you need to do what you need to do.
You don’t have to abandon what you have, but you may need to have a different attitude about it. Good, hard workers in bad situations know that the situation is only temporary. They know that one day, what they want will be theirs.
Have a good mind-set about any task you perform. Always believe that the future not only can be bright, but you will make it so.
So, work hard, but have a reason, besides a paycheck, to do what you are doing. Take steps to get control of your future – control that no one but you can take away.
Peter
RISK IS A GREAT TEACHER
#risk #failure
We have to start life somewhere.
When we do, our relationship with the future is, well, complicated.
Kate O’Neill, founder and principal of KO Insights, discussed this idea in a May 11, 2014, column in The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
O’Neill discussed a project she had worked on for a large firm. One of the executives asked her how long a particular feature would take. She told him eight months. He asked how sure she was in that projection. She answered, “70 percent.” He told her that the longer it takes to get something done, the more risk there is and the less certain we can be about it.
The lesson: “Every day could be your last,” O’Neill writes. “Whether it is or not, you can take intentional, meaningful risks today to build the future you might get to enjoy.”
We hear a lot of talk today about uncertainty, as if forgetting the old adage that the only things certain are death and taxes. Part of the uncertainty talk is about taxes, and the fear of rising taxes is keeping some potential employers from expanding, so they say.
No one can know what will come next, but it should never stop us from acting. If you know you have something good, go for it. If you are unsure that what you have is good, then it may be best to stop, think and evaluate. How can I make this idea that I THINK might be good a little clearer to me?
Fear, sometimes irrational fear, can sometimes prevent us from doing something that would be good for us. Don’t let fear, particularly irrational fear, stop you.
Don’t blow something off because you THINK you know it may hurt you, before determining for certain that it will. In other words, standing in front of a moving train certainly could hurt you, so don’t do it. But examining a new business venture, or interviewing for a job that you may not think you can do may benefit you. The worst that can happen is failure that you are certain to learn from. The best that could happen is a very positive life-changing experience.
You feel great when you’re “in the zone.” But if that zone is a comfort zone, be wary. The comfort could disappear, then what?
O’Neill writes that our complicated relationship with the future can make us live our days in a balance of hope and impatience. Have you ever told your (pick one: parents, spouse, teachers) that you are onto something big, and they ask you when you expect to achieve success? Though you would like it to be tomorrow, success often doesn’t come quickly. You may have an idea of a perfect time, but that perfect time may come and go. If you know what you have, and what you are doing, are good, don’t give up because your predicted timing has come and gone. As O’Neill says: “try, fail, learn adjust. Try, succeed, learn, adjust. Then, try, fail, learn, adjust” etc.
If you are open to looking for something that could give you the future you want, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You will see how others are living their dreams, and how you could, too.
If you fear uncertainty, learn that uncertainty is a way of life. But don’t avoid positive action because you fear the uncertainty. Take, as O’Neill calls them, meaningful risks. Step outside the comfort zone if the comfort has disappeared. You will survive. You could thrive, if you maintain the drive. Forget the fret. It wastes energy.
You may not know the perfect time, but it is out there if you keep looking for it.
Peter