Though the marshmallow test was taken by 4-year-olds, other research into willpower focused on adults.
The research was highlighted in the book, “The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control,” by Walter Mischel, and discussed in a Feb. 15, 2015, column in The Tennessean newspaper of Nashville by Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay State University in Tennessee and author of “Full Throttle.”
Steinberg suggested several ways to improve one’s willpower. In the first, he advises to focus on the future. Many of us only think about today, and how we can be instantly gratified. The world moves quickly, and the advancement of the Internet and social media gives us instant results.
That can be good and bad. It’s good that we can get information instantly, but not so good if your employer reorganizes frequently and costs you a job.
This instantaneous world requires us to think about the future, because it has become so unpredictable. So, if you want to work until you want to retire, it may not happen. Expect your “retirement” to come sooner than you want, and expect that you probably won’t know when it’s coming.
That means that while you have a paycheck, put some of it away where you can’t touch it, and where you can watch it grow. It will help cushion that unexpected retirement.
Steinberg also advises to give yourself rewards. When you accomplish a goal, treat yourself. He quotes an example of hungry students. One group was given cookies and candy, the other radishes. They were asked to solve unsolvable anagrams. The ones who ate the sweets were better able to stay on task, since chocolate is more fun to eat than radishes.
Of course, part of having willpower is frequently avoiding sweet treats. But if you do something good, it’s OK to celebrate, briefly.
Finally, Steinberg says self-control is a mind-set. He quotes a study of students at final exam time. He says the students who believed their willpower was limitless did better than those who believed the opposite.
In sum, those of us with futuristic thoughts, who give ourselves periodic rewards for doing good and who put our minds to it will have good willpower.
If you are having trouble coming up with a Plan B, in case your Plan A fails you in the future, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Perhaps if you see the good in there, your thoughts of the future will turn to dreams.
So celebrate appropriately. Learn to believe that waiting for something good is not only possible, but desirable.
Know where you want to be, and perhaps what you want to be doing 10, 15 or 20 years hence. Then, work toward that end. You may hit some bumps along the way, but your strong mind can guide you toward your own solutions.
Have the will. Find the way. Don’t be easily tempted to stray. The journey often is more fun than the destination. Press on with care and patience.
Peter
Category Archives: Uncategorized
THE MARSHMALLOW TEST, PART 1: THE POWER OF WILLPOWER
#marshmallowtest #willpower #achievegoals
Would you pass “The Marshmallow Test?”
In his book, “The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control,” Walter Mischel describes decades of research related to willpower.
Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay State University in Tennessee and author of “Full Throttle,” discussed Mischel’s research in a column in The Tennessean Newspaper in Nashville Feb. 15, 2015.
The Marshmallow Test involves 4-year-olds. They sit at a table, each with a marshmallow in front of them. The adults leave the room for upwards of 20 minutes. The children are told, as the adults are leaving, that they will get another marshmallow if they stay in their seats, and refrain from eating the marshmallow in front of them. The children also had the option of ringing a bell on the table, after which the experimenters would return and the children could eat their marshmallows.
How would you do?
You can go to youtube.com and check out a few videos of this process, Steinberg wrote.
Steinberg writes that the researchers discovered that the more seconds the child waited before ringing the bell, the higher they rated on social and cognitive functioning when they were retested decades later, Steinberg writes.
The study found that those children who waited longest to eat their treat had higher SAT scores, lower body mass index a better sense of self-worth, pursued their goals more effectively and dealt better with stress, Steinberg writes.
As adults, some of us hate marshmallows and could sit there for hours without touching it, or ringing the bell. In the meantime, we could amuse ourselves checking e-mail on our phones, texting our friends etc.
So, we could pass the literal marshmallow test with flying colors.
We might even be able to pass the test if the marshmallow were substituted for something we love, be it chocolate, steak, etc.
We might even tell ourselves that as adults, we have far more patience than a child.
But let’s take it a step further. What goal do you have sitting in front of you that you’d love to achieve, but may find difficult to achieve?
Is it making lots of money, or having a secure retirement? Is it moving up the ladder in your company, or even just surviving in your company for as long as you want to?
Do you want your goal badly enough to do what you know you need to do to achieve it? Do you have what it takes to deal with the inevitable pitfalls that will come your way, yet not stray from your mission to achieve that goal?
If so, consider yourself passing The Marshmallow Test. Should you find yourself short of tactics to help you achieve your goal, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You’ll see one of the many ways to achieve goals that your current circumstances may not help you achieve.
Life, like marshmallows, can be a bit squishy. But goals, and the willpower to achieve them, keep you firm. Stay firm. Step over life’s squishiness. Stay patient. Achieve your goals. They are there for those who wait, and work smartly.
Peter
CHANGE CAN BE HARD! EMBRACE IT!
#change #gettingunstuck #changehappensquickly
A few decades ago, change came slowly to the world.
It evolved over time. Chances are, people could ride out the evolution without having to worry much about the change when it came. They believed they would be long gone from it.
Today, change happens quickly. Just when you think you will be set for life – or for at least as long as you want to be – boom! Your very secure job is gone! Life as you knew it will never be again.
But with frequent and sudden change comes opportunity, as well as hardship.
George and Sedena Cappannelli discuss all of this in their book, “Getting Unstuck: 10 Simple Secrets to Embracing Change and Celebrating Your Life.”
The authors talk about how many of us were taught by our parents to look for security, to gravitate to what was “safe,” and to pay little or no attention to those who would encourage us to take risks.
You see, our parents lived in a world in which change evolved slowly. The tried and true was constant. You earned a living, instead of fulfilling your dreams.
Today, change is frequent and quick. One must adapt constantly. It’s more challenging for us, yet we have more opportunity to fulfill our dreams, rather than to just make a living.
How do we fulfill our dreams when our supposed security blanket is pulled from underneath us?
First, we need to presume that there is no such thing as a security blanket. We can’t, for example, look at a job, or even a career, as something long-lasting. We live in a world now in which change is so constant, tomorrow there could be a new way to do what you do.
So, learn skills and get experience. Keep thinking of new ways to use your skills, whether in a particular job, or on your own. Remember, always, that the day will come – and you don’t know when – in which you could be literally on your own. When that comes, it won’t matter how good you were at your job, or how valuable you believed you were to your company.
The Cappannellis also talk about how security blankets inhibit dreams. Did your (pick one: parents, teachers, preachers) ever tell you to stop dreaming and get real? Well, you got “real” and suddenly, you’re alone. Reality has slapped you in the face. With that lesson learned, go ahead and dream again.
How do you make dreams come true when, you believe, you have lost your method of making a living? There are many ways out there not only to dream, but to make dreams come true. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You’ll see how other people, just like you and your friends, got real, got slapped and made their dreams come true.
OK, perhaps you have no reason to throw away what you have. Great. Keep it. Just don’t presume it will never go away, or that you can have it for as long as you want it.
When you are not doing your “real” thing, what are you thinking about? If you think about a life in paradise, or a life of service – free from the need to make a living – it’s OK to dream. You can get that life. Just have your Plan B in place so that when reality slaps, you can smile.
Peter
PUBLIC VS. PRIVATE: BE AN IMPACT INVESTOR
#investors #publicprivate #impactinvesting
Who will solve the great problems of the nation and the world?
Will it be governments or private citizens?
Or, will it be a little of both?
It was thought that private citizens would never solve anything unless they can make money – gobs of money.
Governments, on the other hand, don’t have any money, but spend it anyway, sometimes futilely.
New York Times columnist David Brooks discussed the new concept of “impact investing.” That is private money going into investments that attack some of the world’s problems. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution published his column Feb. 3, 2015.
Brooks says that the private market, prone to devastating crashes and producing widening inequality, combined with gridlocked, ineffective government aren’t getting the job done.
So a group of smart people with opposable minds – part profit-oriented and part purpose-oriented – have created organizations that look a little like businesses, a little like social-service providers and a little like charities – or some mixture of the three, Brooks writes.
They are creating new impact funds, social stock exchanges and include players like Goldman Sachs and Credit Suisse. The first wave of this sector was led by Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. Now you have an array of capitalist tools ranging from B Corporations like Warby Parker, which gives free glasses to the poor, to social impact bonds. Brooks writes. He quotes at 2010 report by the Rockefeller Foundation and JPMorgan that says impact investing capital could amount to $1 trillion by 2020.
So what’s happening here? Did government failures in helping its people make wealthy people feel guilty – guilty enough to accept a potentially lower profit to help lots of people?
Capitalism is a marvelous institution that has gotten a bad rap. People are beginning to realize that it’s not how rich you become that matters, but how you become rich. Did you do well by doing good? Were you helping others succeed as you were succeeding? Once you’ve achieved success, did you hoard all your gains, or did you use them to help those worthy of your help?
It’s clear not everyone is going to get rich. But there are many vehicles out there that allow ANYONE to get rich. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Check out a model in which success only comes by helping others succeed.
Think back to the days when you were young, and just starting out in the workforce. You probably had an entry-level job for, say, a small business. When the time came for you to move on to other things to better your life, how did your boss treat you when you left? Was he wishing you well, telling you he was proud to have you work for him and offer any lifelong assistance (not necessarily financial) that you might need? Or, was he the type that was upset that you were quitting and leaving him short-staffed? The former likely was a pleasure to work for, because he looked out for you, and you, in turn, made sure you did your best for him. The latter likely had employees who were indifferent toward the boss, didn’t care whether his business succeeded and probably worked under a good deal of stress.
If you become a boss, which kind would you like to be? If you become an investor, which kind would you like to be? People who work hard on being better people tend to have success follow them. Those who don’t, and still achieve success, probably have lots of current and former employees, who got relatively little in return, to thank.
Peter
YOU’RE BEING TRACKED: HOW DO YOU LOOK
We are all being tracked.
Complete privacy is a thing of the past.
The best we can hope for is that we look good to the world.
Kate O’Neill, founder and principal of KO Insights, discussed this in a Dec. 21, 2014, column in The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
“We have the means to measure, by some proxy, how we live up to our intentions and how we impact others,” O’Neill writes. “The strategy we set today provides the framework for improvement tomorrow,” she says.
Our life trail will certainly show imperfections. It will show what we did right, what we did wrong. The question becomes: did we do better today than yesterday, and will we do even better tomorrow?
It’s one thing for a person to succeed. But did he help others succeed in the process, or did he succeed because he took advantage of others?
Sophisticated devices, social media and other modern conveniences leave us more exposed than ever. We leave trails of data everywhere. We use the Internet to find jobs or customers, who can learn so much about us in a very short time.
It’s all good, right? For those who wish to remain as private as possible, it’s not necessarily good. For those who wish to conceal some things about them, it’s not so good. But most of us want to be out there, for everyone to see. We want to be able to communicate with others easily, even if we can’t meet face to face.
Of course, personal contact and face-to-face meetings are far superior to other communication forms. After all, we can’t read people online. Personal interactions are much more fun than our impersonal ones.
So what do you look like to the world? What mark are you leaving for all to see? Are you helping others?
We must be careful as we look at others not to judge quickly. As New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof wrote recently, his high school friend in Oregon who died at 54 could look, at first glance, like a typical moocher. But Kristof, and those who knew him well, knew him as a hard worker, who just got down on his luck. Kristof called him a victim of economic inequality.
There are many ways those of us who might be down on our luck economically to recover, without asking for a handout. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Success could be there for the taking if you are sufficiently motivated.
Paul Anka’s lyric in “My Way,” made famous by Frank Sinatra, says, “The record shows, I took the blows, and did it my way.” If “your way,” is to help others, may you take the blows deftly, without injury. Success likely will grace you. If “your way” is to do all for yourself, and little for others, may the record show improvement today, and even more tomorrow.
Peter
JEALOUSY, ENVY AND CHANNELING EMOTIONS
#jealousy #envy #emotions
We can debate whether jealousy and envy are the same, but both can be negative, or positive, emotions.
We may be jealous if our significant other chooses someone else. But if our significant other chooses someone else, what can you do about it? It’s probably best not to be where one is not wanted, and move on.
Andrew Stark, in the Dec. 10, 2014, edition of The Wall Street Journal, reviewed the book “Jealousy,” by Peter Toohey. Stark says Toohey talks about jealousy among employees. Studies suggest, Stark quotes from the book, that workers feel pressure to fall short of expectation so as not to arouse the jealousy of their peers.
Is it really better to slack off a bit, so as not to stand out? If so, you may be working in the wrong place. Perhaps you really don’t want others to look bad, because you don’t want others to be jealous. Perhaps you don’t want to elicit envy by outperforming others. If you feel that way, remember that jealousy and envy are the emotions of others. Just as with a significant other, it may be best not to stay where you are not wanted.
Conservatives in the media talk a lot about the evils of wealth envy. With wealth envy, one wishes ill on others who have more than they. There are a couple ways to look at this. If those of whom one is envious has gotten his wealth off the backs of, or at the expense of others, do you really want to be envious of him? Perhaps you’d rather be envious of the person of stronger moral character.
Secondly, envy of the wealthier person can be a strong motivator. If you want what that person has, perhaps you need to find a vehicle to get you closer to where that person is in resources. There are many such empowering vehicles through which people help others, and are rewarded for it. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau.
As Stark points out, Toohey’s book says jealousy and envy can be, and often are, destructive emotions. But they can also serve as motivators.
The lessons here abound. If one uses emotions for the good, they can lead to advancement of circumstances, and of the person. If one uses emotions destructively, they can cause harm to others, and harm to those who feel them.
Many of us hope that we never let emotions get in the way of our progress. But we are not human if we don’t feel emotion. So, instead of making the effort NOT to feel something, use what you feel as a motivator, rather than a destroyer.
That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t THINK about how we feel. We should most definitely think about why we feel as we do, and how to channel those feelings most productively.
At the same time, we should let others channel their feelings as they believe best. We should not let our positive behavior decline because others may not like it. The most successful people have been outcasts, and one must determine that success is far more important than how others may feel about it.
Finally, the most success comes by helping others. If we help others be successful, to borrow from Zig Ziglar, our success will follow.
So if you are feeling jealous, don’t get mad. Move on. Or, be glad you have something to aim for. If you envy someone, do what you need to do to be more like him. In either case, be careful. Know that what you might be aiming for will be good for you, and for others.
Peter
WANT IT FIRST, THEN DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
“The difference between a successful person and others is not the lack of strength, not the lack of knowledge, but, rather, the lack of will.
Vince Lombardi
#motivation #desire #happiness
You’ve heard lots of talk about discipline.
What you don’t always hear about is the link between desire and discipline.
Some people know exactly what they want from life. Others really haven’t a clue, except for some superficial desire for money, power or some other thing in the abstract, especially when they see that others have what they don’t.
Those in the first category usually not only know what they want from life, but also find a way to get it, even if it means having to do some uncomfortable things before they get it.
Those in the other group will search for contentment, probably never find it in absolute terms and complain that they are not getting it. Many of us know these people. They work at a job, or in a certain place, they make a living and make the best of what life gives them. They realize it’s not enough and are envious of those who have more. Envy is a profound energy waster. It will produce nothing, but will gradually drain one’s physical and mental resources.
Those in the first group look at others’ accomplishments as goals for themselves. They don’t waste energy on envy, resentment and other worthless emotions. They focus their energy on what they need to do to achieve what they desire.
It’s difficult, but not impossible, to convert from one type of person to the other. It’s not easy for an envious person to be self-reflecting. It’s not easy for a motivated, discipline person to sink to the level of the envious, providing he doesn’t listen to what the envious tell him.
But let’s just say an envious person has an epiphany, the same way an addict gets the message that he needs to stop. When that happens, the envious person learns that he DOESN’T have to accept things as they are. He learns there IS a way he can better his life, even, perhaps, without interfering with what he is doing.
What might cause this? Desire! One must realize that he would like something in life strongly enough to make changes, to discipline himself to do what he needs to. Just as the addict might one day say, NO MORE, and mean it, the envious person might find the desire that has been missing. He might realize that contentment is not the same as happiness. He might discover something inside him that will make him want to change.
It’s easy to be fooled by procrastinators. They will talk eloquently about what they will do tomorrow, but that tomorrow is long in coming. They realize contentment isn’t so bad. The person truly converted from envious starts immediately. He doesn’t necessarily look for things to happen quickly, but he performs activities needed to change his life
Are you an envious, contented procrastinator? Or do you want more from life than what you have, and are willing to do what you need to get it? If so, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. See firsthand how people motivated by what they want can get it. Then, see how motivated people help other motivated people do the same.
They had, or discovered, a discontent with a contented life. They didn’t want to wait for something to happen. Instead, they did what they had to do to make it happen.
Another characteristic of motivated people is that they can lose everything, and know they can get it all back. Instead of settling for contentment, they strove for true happiness, and helped others do the same.
Peter
BE AN INVESTOR MORE THAN A CONSUMER
#retirement #investments #saving
Investing for retirement need not be scary.
It also need not be impossible, no matter your income, age or situation.
Also, a secure retirement happens because of actions YOU take, not what someone else promises to give you.
Nanci Hellmich discussed investing for retirement, based on Tony Robbins book “Money: Master the Game; 7 Simple Steps to Financial Freedom,” in an article published Dec. 10, 2014, in USA Today.
Before getting to Robbins’ seven steps, let’s examine your plans for retirement. Do you believe you have to work until you die? Are you saving regularly out of each paycheck? Did you get so financially hammered during the Great Recession that your retirement is doomed? Did you lose your job in the Great Recession, forcing a premature retirement?
Let’s presume you are still working, even if you are working in a job that underpays you – that’s a growing trend these days. Find an amount, it doesn’t have to be much, that you can take out of each paycheck and put away. You have to look at it occasionally to monitor how your investment is doing, but don’t withdraw it until you retire.
If you are forced to retire before you want to, or are financially able to, try not to eat into that fund too quickly. It’s OK to use the dividends, interest etc., for income, but try to hold onto your principal as long as you can.
Robbins’ first two steps, Hellmich’s article says, is to become an investor rather than a consumer and to know what you are invested in. The former is a mindset. When money gets into your hands, you have to first think about paying yourself, before you think about what you will buy. The latter may require some good advice from someone you trust who will look out for your interests before his own.
Robbins third and fourth steps involve taking action. Don’t be afraid to start a retirement fund because you believe you’ll never have enough money in it to retire. If you are young, calculate what you think you’ll need to retire comfortably, and save accordingly. Then, evaluate your asset allocation, which is a big term for knowing how your money is invested. You may take more risk as a young investor, and perhaps change that allocation to more income-producing vehicles later in life, Hellmich quotes Robbins.
Again, the latter may require some help, but you can help yourself by figuring out ways you can save your money.
The last three Robbins tips again involve your thought process. You have to create a lifetime income plan, and believe you can be among the wealthy. Once you get there, enjoy the sacrifices you have made. “Start where you are, and you’ll begin to find out that there’s more than enough wealth for you,” Hellmich quotes Robbins.
If you are still a child, develop that savings and investment mindset early. If you have change in your pocket at the end of the day, put it in a jar. When the jar is full, take the coins to your local bank and put them in your own savings account. Don’t touch the money until at least when you go to college, or go to work after high school.
As an adult, you will already have the right mindset, and can get more sophisticated about saving and investing for retirement.
Lastly, you may be older, approaching retirement, fearful you don’t have enough money. There are many ways out there to solve this problem. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Check it out with friends in the same situation.
Then, all of you can watch your retirement accounts blossom.
Peter
HIGHER EDUCATION HAS TO CHANGE, OR ELSE …
#highereducation #college #tenure
You’ve heard many times that nothing is more constant than change.
Yet, higher education is either slow to recognize the need to change, or just refuses to.
Greg Charleston, a CPA, certified turnaround professional and senior managing director at Conway Mackenzie Inc., discussed this in a column in the Oct. 20, 2014, edition of The Atlanta Journal-
Constitution.
Charleston likens higher education’s story to that of Willy Loman, the lead character in Arthur Miller’s play, “Death of a Salesman,” a reading staple in college literature classes. Willy was slow to adapt to change, as is the current higher education model.
As Charleston points out, the availability of student loans made demand for higher education constant, despite changes in the economy. Also, parents never wavered from the belief that a good education was the key to their child’s future, and did whatever they had to do to make sure their kids went to college.
Now, as Charleston says, government funding is shrinking. Students don’t want to be saddled with debt, especially if they see that their older colleagues are graduating into a shrinking job market. What good is a great education if a student can’t parlay it into a good job, so that they can pay off that massive debt?
Also, Charleston says, more students are opting for non-traditional study – online courses – eschewing the traditional campus life many thought would be so much fun. Yet, many colleges are relying on their reputations to stay alive. One learns quickly that he cannot eat prestige for breakfast.
Charleston suggests alternatives to keep up with the times. He suggests some colleges and universities merge, or offer online alternatives. They need to find ways to scale back costs to keep it affordable to most students.
Perhaps, the really good teachers and professors will need to record their lectures and classes, to make them available universally in the academic world. Academic tenure, as is happening in the corporate and professional world, may soon be a thing of the past.
Parents also need to know their children. They need to ask, is college really right for my son or daughter? It’s OK to answer NO to that question. It won’t mean they will not have a future. In fact, there are many ways to ensure a great future for children without a college education. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You may find a great way to ensure a marvelous future without the debt and other headaches of getting a child through college.
Those students taking on college may also find a great Plan B, in case their careers after college get off to a slow start.
Higher education, like other facets of life, has to adapt to a changing world. It has to realize that dollars are limited, that there are other ways to get educated and that it may not be a universal path to a great future for young people.
It’s nice to have a great aura or reputation about you. But it’s better to keep one’s doors open.
It’s nice to have a faculty position that will never go away, as long as you want it. But if the whole institution disappears, that position can’t help but go away.
So, to all students, pursue your dreams as you see fit. Study what you must to get to those dreams. But keep in mind that there is more than one route to those dreams. Find the route that fits you best.
Peter
TIME, DISCIPLINE AND RESOLUTIONS
#newyearsresolutions #time #discipline
Why do so many of us abandon our new year’s resolutions?
Rory Vaden, cofounder of Southwestern Consulting and a self-discipline strategist and speaker, says it may not just be a lack of self-discipline. It may be a lack of time.
Vaden discussed the topic in a Jan. 11, 2015, column in The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
It’s easier to get to the gym when your house is clean and your bills are in order, he says. It’s easier to eat healthy when you don’t feel so rushed you have to cram some fast food down in 20 minutes, Vaden points out.
So let’s tackle time, or lack of it, that most say is their biggest problem in life.
Time is choice. Sure, most of us MUST go to work. Those who have children MUST tend to their needs etc. Oh, and we MUST sleep – or at least most of us do.
But there are many other hours in which we do things that are not MUSTS. There may even be some hours we do things we believe are musts, but may not be.
Some of us take time doing things, then ask ourselves, why did I waste my time doing that?
Some of us decide that we can’t do something that may be good for us, because we don’t have time. Others make time to do something good for themselves.
Vaden believes that if you want to achieve your goals in 2015, you have to intentionally decide what you won’t do that has taken up your time.
In short, resolutions require a time commitment. You have to determine whether what you spend your time on is worth your time, or could your time be spent doing something better for you.
Let’s take the food example. If you are wolfing down fast food at lunch because your boss gives you no time for lunch, try bringing healthy food to work with you. You’ll eat better and save money. If cleaning your house takes up too much of your time, there’s the option of hiring someone to do it. Chances are, that person can clean your house much more quickly than you, because he or she cleans houses for a living and has the process down to a science.
How can you hire a housekeeper when you are barely getting by yourself? There are many ways to pick up extra income, often without interfering with what you are doing now. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You might not only find a way to pay your housekeeper, but also you will be using your time more productively.
Often, those who use their time most wisely have cultivated the ability to say, NO! Sometimes we are backed into a corner and say yes when we want to say no. Perhaps the person whose feelings you don’t want to hurt would rather hear no, than a reluctant yes.
Vaden also talks about procrastination vs. patience. Sometimes, waiting for a better time to do something can be a virtue. Putting off things you should do kills success, he says.
So, if you haven’t already, make those resolutions: Live healthier. Know what to do to prosper, and do what you must to make it happen. If you are unsure about the latter, be open to looking for the answer, and recognize it when you see it. Your patience could pay off.
Peter