#decisions #OverThinking #marriage #willpower #jobs
When someone goes back and forth with a decision, some may call him analytical.
Others may call him indecisive.
Still others may call him thoughtful or deliberate.
Naturally, we all should think before we do. But, sometimes, over-thinking can steal opportunities.
The science, or art, if you prefer, of thought is knowing when to make a decision.
Some decisions, like whom to marry, are often made on not necessarily impulse, but emotion. Sometimes, more thought is required. Other times, if you feel the person is right for you and you could lose him or her by pausing to think, you may go with your emotion and hope not to regret later.
Other decisions require immediate action. An investment opportunity comes along that could cost you if you wait to think more. This requires some quick calculation, or complete trust in the person who brought you the opportunity. It’s natural not to trust someone else, but here’s where you have to trust yourself as much or more as you trust someone else.
Then, there are the choices that require willpower, such as the choice to pass up the cake in the buffet line in lieu of a salad. Here, the decision involves how often you eat cake, how seldom you treat yourself, how often you do other things to compensate for the cake etc.
Besides whether or whom to marry, there are other life choices we all have to make. Let’s start with our jobs. Are we doing a job just because it pays us? Are we doing a job because we actually like what we are doing? Are we doing a job because, well, someone has to do it?
All jobs pay, and most don’t pay nearly enough to live the lives we would like to live. If that resembles your situation, you can do one of many things: first, you can stay at it and hope things will improve; second, you can stay at it while continuing to look for something better; third, you can stay at it while squirreling away savings, and investing those savings, until you have enough to retire; or, lastly, you can stay at it while doing something else part-time, outside of work, that will enhance your income and, perhaps, dwarf your current paycheck.
There are many such vehicles out there that can help you accomplish Plan B, the last alternative. To check out one of the best, message me.
Whatever road you choose, decisions are required. First, you have to decide how badly you want something, and whether what you are doing is going to get you that something before you die.
If the answer to the latter question is no, then you have to decide how open you may be to alternatives. Certainly, alternatives can look, or even be, scary. But knowing that what you are doing isn’t going to give you what you want may be even scarier.
Of course, you can decide to settle with your situation. That may be the devil you know, so you can sort of live with it, and never realize your dream. At least by doing that, you may not have to make any “scary” decisions, or so you think.
But if your life goals are powerful enough, fear of the unknown will become less of an, or no, issue.
Many life decisions require openness and optimism. Answers to prayers can present themselves in different ways.
The science, or art, if you prefer, is knowing when the answer to prayer is there for the taking.
Decisions, decisions. Know yourself. Trust yourself. Be open to new things and follow your dreams.
Peter
Tag Archives: willpower
THE MARSHMALLOW TEST, PART 2: PUTTING YOUR MIND ON SELF-CONTROL
Though the marshmallow test was taken by 4-year-olds, other research into willpower focused on adults.
The research was highlighted in the book, “The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control,” by Walter Mischel, and discussed in a Feb. 15, 2015, column in The Tennessean newspaper of Nashville by Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay State University in Tennessee and author of “Full Throttle.”
Steinberg suggested several ways to improve one’s willpower. In the first, he advises to focus on the future. Many of us only think about today, and how we can be instantly gratified. The world moves quickly, and the advancement of the Internet and social media gives us instant results.
That can be good and bad. It’s good that we can get information instantly, but not so good if your employer reorganizes frequently and costs you a job.
This instantaneous world requires us to think about the future, because it has become so unpredictable. So, if you want to work until you want to retire, it may not happen. Expect your “retirement” to come sooner than you want, and expect that you probably won’t know when it’s coming.
That means that while you have a paycheck, put some of it away where you can’t touch it, and where you can watch it grow. It will help cushion that unexpected retirement.
Steinberg also advises to give yourself rewards. When you accomplish a goal, treat yourself. He quotes an example of hungry students. One group was given cookies and candy, the other radishes. They were asked to solve unsolvable anagrams. The ones who ate the sweets were better able to stay on task, since chocolate is more fun to eat than radishes.
Of course, part of having willpower is frequently avoiding sweet treats. But if you do something good, it’s OK to celebrate, briefly.
Finally, Steinberg says self-control is a mind-set. He quotes a study of students at final exam time. He says the students who believed their willpower was limitless did better than those who believed the opposite.
In sum, those of us with futuristic thoughts, who give ourselves periodic rewards for doing good and who put our minds to it will have good willpower.
If you are having trouble coming up with a Plan B, in case your Plan A fails you in the future, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Perhaps if you see the good in there, your thoughts of the future will turn to dreams.
So celebrate appropriately. Learn to believe that waiting for something good is not only possible, but desirable.
Know where you want to be, and perhaps what you want to be doing 10, 15 or 20 years hence. Then, work toward that end. You may hit some bumps along the way, but your strong mind can guide you toward your own solutions.
Have the will. Find the way. Don’t be easily tempted to stray. The journey often is more fun than the destination. Press on with care and patience.
Peter
THE MARSHMALLOW TEST, PART 1: THE POWER OF WILLPOWER
#marshmallowtest #willpower #achievegoals
Would you pass “The Marshmallow Test?”
In his book, “The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control,” Walter Mischel describes decades of research related to willpower.
Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay State University in Tennessee and author of “Full Throttle,” discussed Mischel’s research in a column in The Tennessean Newspaper in Nashville Feb. 15, 2015.
The Marshmallow Test involves 4-year-olds. They sit at a table, each with a marshmallow in front of them. The adults leave the room for upwards of 20 minutes. The children are told, as the adults are leaving, that they will get another marshmallow if they stay in their seats, and refrain from eating the marshmallow in front of them. The children also had the option of ringing a bell on the table, after which the experimenters would return and the children could eat their marshmallows.
How would you do?
You can go to youtube.com and check out a few videos of this process, Steinberg wrote.
Steinberg writes that the researchers discovered that the more seconds the child waited before ringing the bell, the higher they rated on social and cognitive functioning when they were retested decades later, Steinberg writes.
The study found that those children who waited longest to eat their treat had higher SAT scores, lower body mass index a better sense of self-worth, pursued their goals more effectively and dealt better with stress, Steinberg writes.
As adults, some of us hate marshmallows and could sit there for hours without touching it, or ringing the bell. In the meantime, we could amuse ourselves checking e-mail on our phones, texting our friends etc.
So, we could pass the literal marshmallow test with flying colors.
We might even be able to pass the test if the marshmallow were substituted for something we love, be it chocolate, steak, etc.
We might even tell ourselves that as adults, we have far more patience than a child.
But let’s take it a step further. What goal do you have sitting in front of you that you’d love to achieve, but may find difficult to achieve?
Is it making lots of money, or having a secure retirement? Is it moving up the ladder in your company, or even just surviving in your company for as long as you want to?
Do you want your goal badly enough to do what you know you need to do to achieve it? Do you have what it takes to deal with the inevitable pitfalls that will come your way, yet not stray from your mission to achieve that goal?
If so, consider yourself passing The Marshmallow Test. Should you find yourself short of tactics to help you achieve your goal, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You’ll see one of the many ways to achieve goals that your current circumstances may not help you achieve.
Life, like marshmallows, can be a bit squishy. But goals, and the willpower to achieve them, keep you firm. Stay firm. Step over life’s squishiness. Stay patient. Achieve your goals. They are there for those who wait, and work smartly.
Peter