#retirement #retirementconflicts #retirementlifestyle
Most of the talk today is about whether a person, or couple, has enough money to retire.
That determination for a couple may ride on what they would like to do in retirement.
USA Today writer Nanci Hellmich discusses why couples should talk about each’s visions of retirement prior to retiring. She took on the subject in a June 26, 2015, article in The Tennessean newspaper of Nashville.
“Couples don’t always have the same dreams for retirement,” Hellmich writes. “It usually takes some negotiating to come to terms with what they’re going to do.”
Hellmich’s article illustrates the point: He imagines summers fly-fishing in a cold mountain lake and winters by the fire reading his favorite books. She envisions summers playing with the grandchildren in their back yard and winters volunteering for her favorite charities.
If we take it further, let’s presume they don’t have a place near a cold mountain lake. They would have to buy or rent one. Let’s also presume that their grandchildren already live near them. To satisfy her, they merely need to stay home – probably a less expensive alternative.
“For lack of a better word, couples need to do some horse trading… You really have to negotiate in good faith,” Hellmich quotes Pepper Schwartz, AARP’s love and relationship expert.
Hellmich’s article gives some talking points for couples: create a list of characteristics for retirement that each spouse wants; talk to family and friends who would have an interest in your decision. If your kids want to have you around, presumably not as just a free baby sitter, you have to talk about it with them. If you don’t live near your children, and they want you to move closer, you have to think about that, too.
Other talking points the article cites include prudently pruning your retirement dream list. Figure out areas in which you can compromise. If the man is a golfer, for example, and wants to play a lot, and the woman is not, make sure, before you move to that golf resort that you vacation there first. Perhaps the non-golfer will be miserable in a golfer’s paradise. The article points out that couples should carve time to listen to each other, and tell each other, after some discussion and compromise, how much one appreciates the other’s give and take.
Of course, it would be best all around if money were no object. He could fish or golf, she could volunteer for charities and hang with the grandkids. There are many ways out there to secure a good retirement income, one in which compromise may not be necessary. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau.
If you are young, it’s never too early to talk about these things. If you are able, take some types of vacations you might not otherwise take to see how you like them. Your doctors will probably tell you that staying active will be very important as you get older. Just lying on the beach with a book or tablet may not be as nice at 60 as it is at, say, 25. Besides, it may not be the best thing to do for your skin.
Don’t make retirement life a reason to fight. If you love your spouse, this is an issue that likely can be worked out with good, heartfelt conversation. Then again, if you are single, you have the ability to do whatever you want, wherever you want, in retirement. Make sure you have sufficient pennies put away, or coming in, to make whatever you want to happen, happen.
Peter
Tag Archives: Nashville
SECRET OF SUCCESS? MAKING UP ONE’S MIND
Many of us look at people we deem successful and believe we cannot be like them.
Either we believe our circumstances are holding us down, or we believe we are not as smart as successful people are or that luck is not on our side.
Rory Vaden, co-founder of Southwest Consulting, spoke to one of the most successful people he knows, Spencer Hays, founder of Tom James fine clothing and executive chairman of The Southwestern Co. Vaden discussed that conversation in a column in the June 28, 2015, edition of The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
According to Vaden, Hays believes that success is simply a choice. It’s the choice to do whatever it takes – or not – to be successful.
To most of us, that’s a very simplistic answer. We all would choose success over failure. But it’s not a matter of wanting success in the abstract. It’s a matter of defining success in one’s own mind, and going out and getting it.
In other words, make up your mind to be successful and do what you need to do.
Vaden said the idea of making up one’s mind to be successful was the one thing that Hays said that struck him in his conversation.
It appears to many that making up one’s mind to be successful is very difficult. How many people do you know start something and give up without finishing it, especially when things got tough? These people wanted to be successful at the beginning, but later discovered that what they had to do to get there was not worth the effort or the sacrifice.
An idea has to travel from one’s head, to one’s heart, to one’s gut. When one finds what he wants to do, he does what he needs to do to accomplish it, no matter what happens.
Another scenario: how many people do you know who had a goal, but listened to those who told him he could never accomplish it? The naysayers believe they mean well, and some actually do. But the successful person believes more in what he wants to achieve than he does others’ opinions of him or his goal.
We can certainly find people who might tell the person who lost a job that it was his own fault. Most of us have circumstances we can’t control. Those are not important. What’s important is how we respond when those circumstances hit.
We can complain, and convince ourselves that the world is against us. Or, we can look for something that will give us the motivation we need to conquer our circumstances.
A third scenario: a person has the motivation, work ethic and has made up his mind to be successful. He just needs a vehicle to help him find success. If you are one of those, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. It’s one of many, and one of the best, such vehicles for personal success and for helping others find success.
Choosing success is not like choosing from a restaurant menu. You can’t just say you want something and someone else is going to bring it to you. Choosing success is choosing to do what you need to do, regardless of whom or what surrounds you. It’s about believing in your goal, and pursuing it above all other things – except family and friends.
It’s having faith in what you know is good, regardless of what others think. If you choose success, you’ve chosen wisely.
Peter
MORE JOBS, LESS SECURITY
#jobs #security #parttimejobs
The United States is gaining jobs, but more of them are part time, pay less than the ones lost and employees haven’t had raises in years.
Sure, McDonald’s, Wal-Mart and other companies have announced employee raises with great fanfare recently, but many of those who work there can’t make a decent living on what they earn.
Associated Press reporters Josh Boak and Christopher S. Rugaber tackled this issue in an article published June 14, 2015 in the Tennessean newspaper in Nashville. In that same Tennessean edition, Paul Davidson of USA Today said many who are working part time are doing so reluctantly.
If you grew up in the 1950s or 1960s, you are at or near retirement. Hopefully, you retired, or will retire, on your own terms. Many have not. If you are currently in your 20s, looking for steady work, perhaps you are cobbling together an income, however inadequate, with one or more part-time jobs. If you are doing that, what are the prospects of you getting the full-time job you need? Are you still living at home with Mom and Dad, and don’t really want to, but can’t afford not to?
The Associated Press article quotes Lena Allison, 54, of Los Angeles. She lost her job as a kindergarten teacher and has worked temporary jobs since. “More people may be working jobs, but they’re like these serial part-time jobs,” the article quotes her.
The AP reporters also point out that hiring has surged in the health care, retail, construction and hospitality and leisure industries. Rick Rieder, a Black Rock investment officer quoted in the AP article, says the country is beginning to see the start of broad-based wage growth. That opinion would surprise many Americans, the reporters say.
But here’s what could trigger wage growth: lower productivity. In the first three months of 2015, productivity dropped 3.1 percent after a 2.3 percent drop in the fourth quarter of 2014, the AP reporters say. Productivity had expanded 2.1 percent annually, on average, since 2000, they add. Companies have been slow to invest in equipment and other assets that might make their workers produce more. Therefore, hiring more workers in the short run could combat that, the AP reporters say.
Still, most workers are collecting no benefits or vacation time with their jobs.
Let’s face it. For most people who have lost jobs in the last few years, the ones they’ve gotten to replace them, if they’ve been so lucky, pay less than the jobs they lost. For those fortunate enough to survive the downsizings, most are working harder and probably haven’t had a raise in quite some time. Fortunately for those employers, these employees probably have no better place to go.
What’s an employee to do in these situations? First, if you have a job you like that pays well, don’t let it go. But, don’t presume it will always be there. Most people are one reorganization, or one bad manager, away from an untenable employment situation. Look for a Plan B that can help you make an extra income while you work, so, if the worst case happens, you can leave your job with a smile.
If you are in need of something to relieve an immediate income problem, the same solution could apply. There are lots of great ways to make extra income outside the traditional employment arena. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau.
Don’t let the numbers fool you. Things may appear to be getting better as far as economic numbers go, but little has trickled down to the average person. With very few ways to get meaningful help from this situation, decide today to help yourself. Save more. Spend less. Look for a Plan B. Don’t waste energy complaining about what is. Use that energy to look for, and find, what can be.
Peter
MORALITY AND LAWS: HOW DIFFERENT ARE THEY?
#morality #legal #morals #laws
What is morally right, and what is legally right?
By definition, laws are secular. They are created by governments and, in the United States, by the will of the people, at least in theory.
Morality is something we believe in wholeheartedly. It’s a personal endeavor. We use it as part of self-definition, whether we get it from teachings, scripture etc.
Bishop Joseph Walker III, pastor at Mt. Zion Baptist Church in Nashville, took on these questions in a May 24, 2015, column in the Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
Walker says both law and morality are matters of interpretation. As a Christian pastor, he sees morality as founded in the Bible. There are other faiths which use other religious texts as their moral compasses, he says.
His task as a pastor is to lead people so that they discover what is moral and immoral, based on scripture and spiritual revelation, he writes.
For some with deep convictions, morality is concrete, inflexible and void of compromise. For others, morality is fluid, with the ability to change as new interpretations emerge, the pastor writes.
Because we cannot pass laws based on one set of religious or moral standards, one’s morality and what is legal may conflict.
Because, at least in the United States, there are people of varying religions, beliefs and moralities, laws have to determine right from wrong based on that context. As we see watching governments in action, it’s no easy task. Yet, it is necessary.
By definition, laws have to contain some compromise, yet define right from wrong as clearly as they can. That makes it possible, even likely, that people can be wronged by laws, while those same laws make things right to others.
When laws seek to define morality, it becomes a slippery slope, Walker writes. He then asks, “should our rights be protected by the law, whether they are deemed moral or not? Should the law protect any religious rites? The jury is still out.”
Laws do their best to seek justice for all, regardless of one’s beliefs or definition of morality. The Constitution of the United States allows one to worship as he pleases, as long as he hurts no others. So one’s rites and rights can be protected simultaneously. One’s morality could be offended by certain laws, but that should not stop one from believing personally in a certain morality.
Often, we are confronted with laws that allow certain behaviors we consider immoral. In reality, often these behaviors have little, or no, effect on us personally. So, we can privately condemn the law, and still live a life we consider moral.
As laws attempt to seek justice for all, we have to be careful not to judge. As we carry ourselves in our own morality, we do our best to portray that morality vividly, while not condemning others who do not believe as we do.
We must obey the laws, even as we may consider them immoral. We do so with clear conscience by acting within our own moral code, regardless of others’ actions.
As one ponders these questions, he should strive to be the best he can be, within his own belief system. He must also strive to help others, regardless of those others’ belief systems. For a great way to do that, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You could be sharing a great bounty while still following your own moral code.
Peter
SERVANT SELLIING AND INCREASING CONFIDENCE
#servantselling #sellingoneself #increasingconfidence
Do you ever think of salespeople as servants?
Perhaps you are more likely to think of them as self-servants.
Rory Vaden, cofounder of Southwest Consulting and a self-discipline strategist, discussed the concept in a column published May 17, 2015, in The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
Vaden sees servant selling as, rather than trying to persuade a stranger to buy something, helping a friend get the confidence to make the decision to buy.
Usually, good salespeople are confident. Buyers can tend to be skeptical. It’s OK to be skeptical. Servant sellers, Vaden says, don’t answer objections, as in, doing something TO someone. They increase confidence, as in, doing something FOR someone.
We all, at some time, have to sell something. If not a product, ourselves. We sell ourselves to a potential employer, date, friend, mentor etc. We sell ourselves at work, trying to do the best job we can while making sure the right people notice.
When we sell ourselves, do we help “buyers” by increasing their confidence to buy us?
To turn it around, are we confident enough in ourselves to help others have confidence enough to buy us?
Many of us hate to be sold to, but love to buy. When someone is trying to sell something to you, perhaps themselves, are you confident enough to decide to buy? How much are they helping you be that confident?
It’s OK to have confidence to buy something. Not everyone is out to “sell” to you. A good salesperson WANTS you to like what they have, at the same time understands if you don’t.
He or she will help you have confidence not just to see what is being sold, but also to see how it can help you solve a problem, complete a task or be a better person.
Some of us hate to sell. If you are one of those, do you like to SHOW to people? Do you like to tell a friend, or even a stranger, about a good book, movie, TV show or restaurant you’ve had the pleasure to witness? Would that person have the confidence to read, see or eat at what you’re bragging about?
If you like to show, rather than sell, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. See the stories of how people learned to show something they like, and help others have the confidence not only to try it, but to increase others’ confidence to do the same. You might even see true servant selling.
Think of it this way: if what you have is good, and you know it, it’s others’ loss if they don’t see it, too. The word “no” usually comes from someone with no confidence in themselves to try something that could really benefit them.
In other words, it’s not about you. When one approaches selling as, “it’s not about me,” he or she is likely to find success eventually. He or she is likely to have enough confidence in himself or herself so help increase others’ confidence.
“It’s not about me” is true servant selling.
Peter
THE DISAPPEARING AMERICAN DREAM, PART 2: RETIREMENT PREPARATION ISN’T WHAT IT USED TO BE
#AmericanDream, #disappearingAmericanDream, #economicgrowthrates #retirementplanning
Retirement planning is complicated for Americans of all ages.
So says Jeff Reeves, editor of InvestorPlace.com, who wrote a column for USA Today. It was published in the May 10,2015, edition of The Tennessean newspaper of Nashville.
The Employee Benefit Research Institute, in a 2014 survey, found that only 64 percent of Americans have saved any money for retirement to supplement Social Security benefits. It says that roughly six of 10 Americans have less than $25,000 saved for retirement, according to Reeves’ article.
Certainly, if you are young – say, in your 20s and 30s – retirement is a long way off. Or, so you think. Time travels with break-neck speed, and 30 years can go by very quickly. It’s never too early to save, even if it’s only, say, $5 a week. That may be one visit to Starbucks that you would be sacrificing.
Your parents and grandparents probably were diligent savers. Perhaps they were disciplined and never touched their retirement money.
In their day, perhaps, jobs didn’t disappear more quickly than cake at a child’s birthday party.
If you are young, you face a daunting task of keeping a good job for as long as you want it. If you are older, say, in your 40s and 50s, perhaps you had a good job for a long time, and it’s now gone.
All this complicates saving for retirement, so that task requires extra discipline, perhaps more than your parents or grandparents had.
Despite all the gloom-and-doom reports, Social Security is likely to survive. Benefits could be reduced a bit, but it should survive. The question to ask yourself is, what kind of lifestyle will I have on Social Security alone? Even if you add in a pension, should you be fortunate enough to have one, it’s still not going to be that much. If you are a careful, disciplined person, you would have spent your whole life watching every dollar. Your retirement years should be enjoyable, not ones of deprivation.
Well, one does not have to rely on a job, pensions etc., to have a good retirement. One does not have to engage in risky, unsafe investments to get a decent return.
But, to achieve that, one has to be motivated to want to change his situation, rather than accept it and complain about it.
If you are that type of person, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Check out how many people from all different backgrounds, education levels and skills are not only securing their retirement, but helping others do the same.
Many of us do not want to take handouts, but want to get what was promised to us. Promises can, and often are, broken. That’s why motivated people look outside what they are used to and find a new way to prosperity.
Now, if you are indeed young, you can save your way to prosperity. Reeves quotes John Sweeney of Fidelity Investments as saying, “we are seeing many examples of people who have $1 million in a 401(k) because they started early, they diligently contributed and kept to it.”
That’s more difficult to do as jobs come and go, and jobs, if they are replaced, are often replaced with ones paying and providing less.
But the discipline you will acquire if you diligently save and not touch those savings until later years, and put those savings in the hands of a trusted financial adviser that won’t gobble up too much in fees, you can secure potentially great retirement.
The new Voya ads talk about “orange money,” that one must put away for retirement and not spend. Designate your own “orange money,” or whatever color you deem it, so you won’t have to scrape together an old age of deprivation.
Peter
WHO’S CADDYING FOR YOU?
#innercaddy, #JordanSpieth, #TheMasters #positiveinnercaddy
A professional golfer routinely has a caddy to help advise him on what club to use for a specific shot, what type of shot to make etc.
In the example of young pro golfer Jordan Speith, who won The Masters tournament in 2015, and his caddy, Michael Greller, there is also positive motivation.
Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay State University in Tennessee, and author of the best-selling book “Full Throttle,” discussed the “inner” caddy in a column in the April 26, 2015, edition of the Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
As Steinberg points out, Greller probably would be out of a job if he kept telling Spieth things like, “don’t hit it right again,” or don’t leave it short.”
Steinberg says that if one’s “inner” caddy is giving him negative information, or keeps berating him, it’s OK for that person to fire his inner caddy.
The point here is that you, and your inner caddy, should only have positive interaction. Perhaps you have gotten complacent, or your inner caddy is a bad habit that you have way too frequently.
Steinberg says that one aspect each successful athlete and business person has in common is that he has fired his bad inner caddy, and keeps training and retraining his good caddy daily.
How do they do this? Steinberg offers three ways. First, develop a good inner caddy book filled with positive affirmations, such as, “I really feel it, today.” Secondly, like Bruce Lee write down any negative thoughts on paper, and visualize crumpling it and throwing it into a fire. Third, Steinberg cites the tried-and-true rubber band trick. If you start thinking negative thoughts, have a rubber band on your wrist that you can snap, and that will snap you out of those thoughts.
To some, this may sound like psychology 101. We’ve all learned along the way that thinking good thoughts is always better than thinking bad ones. But, bad things often happen to good people, no matter what they are thinking about.
When that occurs, instead of thinking about more bad things that could happen, think of the good that will come after you’ve dealt with a bad circumstance. Bad circumstances often are our greatest teachers.
Circumstances you can’t control are not inevitable, but they can and do occur. We must use whatever methods at our disposal, and within our personalities, to make sure the bad things don’t get to us, or, at least, only get to us for a short time.
One must believe he is a better person than the bad circumstances he’s been dealt. He didn’t deserve what he got, but he can overcome it.
Sometimes overcoming bad circumstances may require us to step outside our comfort zones. Jordan Spieth, in his very early 20s, could have found it difficult to compete against players more accustomed to pressure-packed tournaments. Instead, undoubtedly with the help of his real caddy, he hit shot after shot over four days, overcame the bogeys that came his way, and won The Masters.
If you, no matter what your age, have the determination of Jordan Spieth, are willing to fire your negative inner caddy and hire one that gives you the strength and grit to win, power to you. If you are looking for something outside your comfort zone to help you win, and help you help others win, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau.
Spieth had dreamed about winning The Masters since he was 14. What are you dreaming about? It’s there for you, if you find the right reinforcement, and the right vehicle, to take you to it.
Peter
REPENT, FORGIVE AND REVERSE
#repent #forgive #180degreeturn
When we think of repentance, with think of the religious context of sinning and repenting.
Certainly, when we sin, it should give us pause.
But repentance has two parts, according to Rory Vaden, a self-discipline strategist and cofounder of Southwestern Consulting. He discussed repentance in an April 19, 2015, column in The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
The first part of repentance is apology. You’ve done something wrong and you beg forgiveness. But it’s the second part that we often forget about, Vaden says. That involves a 180-degree turn away from the actions from which you are repenting.
In other words, don’t just say you’re sorry and go back to doing the wrong you did. Addicts can apologize all day long, but unless they beat their addiction, they have truly not repented.
What could this mean for you? Perhaps you’ve done nothing “wrong,” yet your life does not seem right.
Perhaps no one but you notices. Perhaps YOU don’t even notice. Perhaps you’ve done everything you were told was right, yet something is missing.
That might make you ask yourself: if I’ve done everything the way I was told, why am I feeling this way? Why SHOULD I feel this way? What could possibly make me feel this way?
The feeling gnaws. One cannot control feelings. You believe there is something better out there for you, but you may not have a clue how to find it.
Yet, you rationalize, and tell yourself that mom, dad, your family and friends are still proud of you. In fact, you may have accomplished a great deal, yet you are still unfulfilled.
You may feel you have nothing to apologize to others for, for you have not sinned against them. They may even tell you how great you are, and that you are doing the right thing.
Still, you dream of better. Your family and friends may laugh at those dreams. They may encourage you to stop dreaming and get real.
Yet, your dreams are real. They come from deep inside. You know what you want, but not quite how to get it.
It may be the time to apologize to YOURSELF, then make that 180-degree turn in your life.
Your life may be like a big ship. It may not turn quickly. But it certainly can turn gradually.
The great news, if you have dreams you would like to fulfill, is there are many ways of doing so.
If you have big dreams, you may need to look for ways to fulfill them. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau.
There, you will find others like you who had good lives, yet wanted more. Then, they found the way to get what they wanted, and helped others like them do the same.
The movie “Love Story” has a famous line that says “love means never having to say you’re sorry.” But telling yourself you are sorry, and fully repenting by making that 180-degree turn, can fulfill the need you have inside.
Your dreams are real. They can be fulfilled. Never, ever be sorry for dreaming.
Peter
PERSISTENCE PAYS OFF
#persistence #don’tquit #don’tgiveup
If you know what you have is good, stick with it.
Don’t give up, even after setbacks.
Of course, if you find that what you have has something to be desired, try something else.
Tom Black discussed persistence in an April 5, 2015, column in The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
Black writes that he tells every salesperson he meets: “Persistence and determination are omnipotent.”
He tells the story of Ron Wayne, the third founder of Apple Computer with Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak. Wayne sold his Apple shares after the first year for $300. Had he held on, he’d be one of the richest men in the world today – worth more than $40 billion.
Wayne obviously knew he had something good. But, as he admitted, “my whole life has been a day late and a dollar short,” Black quotes him.
There are many other stories out there of successful people either starting with nothing and becoming successful, or becoming successful, going broke and becoming successful again.
Most people either don’t become successful, or settle for mediocrity in their lives. Perhaps they were encouraged to crave security, do what you need to do to make a living, so that no one thinks you are a failure.
Certainly, most of these folks work hard. Some of them might even work too hard. But something is missing from the equation. Usually, it has to do with goals and dreams.
Each day, ask yourself why you do what you do. Is doing what you do going to give you want you want from life? If so, keep doing it. If not, look for something good. When you find it, stick with it and pursue it with persistence, no matter what happens to deter you, and no matter what people say about what you are doing.
Mind you, most people would advise you not to quit your day job to pursue your dream. The good news is, you won’t have to, if you find the right vehicle. If you find it, eventually you may be able to quit that day job, escape mediocrity and do something more than just make a living.
The ingredients for such a life starts with realizing you could do better than what you are settling for. Once that hits you, find what you REALLY want to do. Start pursuing it part time. If success doesn’t come quickly, don’t give up. Be persistent.
Hone your persistence by doing something related to your goal every day. That doesn’t mean using every waking hour off your day job to pursue your goal, though, for some, it’s that important. But, look for activities in your life that you can cut, or eliminate, to give you the time for your goal.
If you are not finding the vehicle to help you reach your goal, there are many out there, if you are willing to look, and know where to look. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau.
In short, find your goal, find your vehicle, devote time out of your daily life to it and eventually reap the rewards. Those rewards may not be instant, and they may not come without setbacks. But if you know that what you have is good, and are persistent, you’ll eventually see results.
Staying power is lacking in most people. If you don’t believe that, ask Ron Wayne.
Peter
THE MARSHMALLOW TEST, PART 2: PUTTING YOUR MIND ON SELF-CONTROL
Though the marshmallow test was taken by 4-year-olds, other research into willpower focused on adults.
The research was highlighted in the book, “The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control,” by Walter Mischel, and discussed in a Feb. 15, 2015, column in The Tennessean newspaper of Nashville by Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay State University in Tennessee and author of “Full Throttle.”
Steinberg suggested several ways to improve one’s willpower. In the first, he advises to focus on the future. Many of us only think about today, and how we can be instantly gratified. The world moves quickly, and the advancement of the Internet and social media gives us instant results.
That can be good and bad. It’s good that we can get information instantly, but not so good if your employer reorganizes frequently and costs you a job.
This instantaneous world requires us to think about the future, because it has become so unpredictable. So, if you want to work until you want to retire, it may not happen. Expect your “retirement” to come sooner than you want, and expect that you probably won’t know when it’s coming.
That means that while you have a paycheck, put some of it away where you can’t touch it, and where you can watch it grow. It will help cushion that unexpected retirement.
Steinberg also advises to give yourself rewards. When you accomplish a goal, treat yourself. He quotes an example of hungry students. One group was given cookies and candy, the other radishes. They were asked to solve unsolvable anagrams. The ones who ate the sweets were better able to stay on task, since chocolate is more fun to eat than radishes.
Of course, part of having willpower is frequently avoiding sweet treats. But if you do something good, it’s OK to celebrate, briefly.
Finally, Steinberg says self-control is a mind-set. He quotes a study of students at final exam time. He says the students who believed their willpower was limitless did better than those who believed the opposite.
In sum, those of us with futuristic thoughts, who give ourselves periodic rewards for doing good and who put our minds to it will have good willpower.
If you are having trouble coming up with a Plan B, in case your Plan A fails you in the future, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. Perhaps if you see the good in there, your thoughts of the future will turn to dreams.
So celebrate appropriately. Learn to believe that waiting for something good is not only possible, but desirable.
Know where you want to be, and perhaps what you want to be doing 10, 15 or 20 years hence. Then, work toward that end. You may hit some bumps along the way, but your strong mind can guide you toward your own solutions.
Have the will. Find the way. Don’t be easily tempted to stray. The journey often is more fun than the destination. Press on with care and patience.
Peter