#servantselling #sellingoneself #increasingconfidence
Do you ever think of salespeople as servants?
Perhaps you are more likely to think of them as self-servants.
Rory Vaden, cofounder of Southwest Consulting and a self-discipline strategist, discussed the concept in a column published May 17, 2015, in The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
Vaden sees servant selling as, rather than trying to persuade a stranger to buy something, helping a friend get the confidence to make the decision to buy.
Usually, good salespeople are confident. Buyers can tend to be skeptical. It’s OK to be skeptical. Servant sellers, Vaden says, don’t answer objections, as in, doing something TO someone. They increase confidence, as in, doing something FOR someone.
We all, at some time, have to sell something. If not a product, ourselves. We sell ourselves to a potential employer, date, friend, mentor etc. We sell ourselves at work, trying to do the best job we can while making sure the right people notice.
When we sell ourselves, do we help “buyers” by increasing their confidence to buy us?
To turn it around, are we confident enough in ourselves to help others have confidence enough to buy us?
Many of us hate to be sold to, but love to buy. When someone is trying to sell something to you, perhaps themselves, are you confident enough to decide to buy? How much are they helping you be that confident?
It’s OK to have confidence to buy something. Not everyone is out to “sell” to you. A good salesperson WANTS you to like what they have, at the same time understands if you don’t.
He or she will help you have confidence not just to see what is being sold, but also to see how it can help you solve a problem, complete a task or be a better person.
Some of us hate to sell. If you are one of those, do you like to SHOW to people? Do you like to tell a friend, or even a stranger, about a good book, movie, TV show or restaurant you’ve had the pleasure to witness? Would that person have the confidence to read, see or eat at what you’re bragging about?
If you like to show, rather than sell, visit See the stories of how people learned to show something they like, and help others have the confidence not only to try it, but to increase others’ confidence to do the same. You might even see true servant selling.
Think of it this way: if what you have is good, and you know it, it’s others’ loss if they don’t see it, too. The word “no” usually comes from someone with no confidence in themselves to try something that could really benefit them.
In other words, it’s not about you. When one approaches selling as, “it’s not about me,” he or she is likely to find success eventually. He or she is likely to have enough confidence in himself or herself so help increase others’ confidence.
“It’s not about me” is true servant selling.


Confidence is a choice.
Sure, results can encourage confidence and failings can discourage it, but whether or not you are confident in any situation is entirely in your hands.
Gregg Steinberg, author of “Full Throttle” and professor of human performance at Austin Peay State University, used golfer Jason Dufner as his example of choosing to be confident. His choice led Dufner to victory in the PGA Championship in August 2013. Steinberg’s column appeared in the Tennessean newspaper in Nashville Sept. 1, 2013.
Not everyone finds the choice to be confident easy. Many go into job interviews, tests, and other stressful situations in which one’s performance is evaluated without confidence. Not all of those situations will turn out the way one wants, but if one is confident, failure won’t matter. Next time, or the time after that etc., you will succeed.
People like to be around confident people. As we discussed last week, Andy Andrews, in his book, “The Noticer,” described success as having people WANT to be around you. Confidence will help you persuade people to want to be around you.
Confidence is a shield against the word, “No.” If you don’t fear “No,” you know you are confident. When you don’t fear “No,” you can collect as many of them as are out there and just toss them aside. You have to collect “No’s” to find the “Yeses.”
Are you choosing to be confident yet? If not, Steinberg suggests that you have a planned statement you can say to yourself, or someone else, to inspire your confidence. “I choose to be confident,” is one that Steinberg suggests. Or, “I will not fear No,” “I will win,” are a couple of others.
Steinberg also suggests that you recall a time when you were very confident before delving into your currents stressful situation. Perhaps you were confident you would win when you played on a first-place athletic team. Steinberg suggests that as you think of a time in which you were very confident, write down why you felt that way and carry it with you. As you feel your confidence sliding, take a look at that.
The idea of writing things down is almost universal advice. After all, it’s not money that we all want, it’s success. You encourage success by writing down the things you would do when you are successful – either for yourself or for someone else. Confidence encourages us to help others that need us, and that attitude will encourage our own success.
It’s best not to confuse confidence with arrogance. The choice to be confident is helpful. The choice to be arrogant is not. Confident people are humble. Arrogant people are egotistical. Confident people give to others. Arrogant people take from others.
Remember that situations can inspire confidence, but cannot create it. We must create it ourselves. When we create it ourselves, we display confidence in any situation, and circumstances will be meaningless.
If you have created your own confidence, and are looking for a vehicle in which to apply it, visit Check out how people have overcome circumstances to never fear the word, “No,” for they know something many others do not know.
So be confident, be accountable and create a world that until now, you’ve only dreamed of. Write down today what that world would look like, and carry it with you. It will help keep you on your confident path.