#blame #solutions #politics #DifferencesOfOpinion #CultureWar
“Most Americans could … be considered pragmatic moderates on the majority of political issues. While research (shows) some polarization has increases, it appears to have been exaggerated.”
So writes Gail Sahar, professor of psychology at Wheaton College in Norton, Mass. An article, adapted from her book “Blame and Political Attitudes:The Psychology of America’s Culture War,” was published June 21, 2023, in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
Sahar believes that the basis for democracy assumes people can reason. When we underestimate the American public’s ability to rationally consider issues, we undermine our nation’s foundation, she writes.
“The current focus on blame has emerged as the missing link connecting ideology to attitude across a range of issues,” she writes.
In current political discourse, people not only want everyone to follow what THEY believe in, but also want to blame someone else when things go wrong.
To paraphrase the late U.S. President Ronald Reagan, the U.S. Congress would get more done if they cared less about who gets the credit. The converse is also true. If nothing gets done, the other guy is to blame.
This culture of blame, as Sahar calls it, may arouse strong feelings on both sides of an issue. But, we always find an excuse to blame the other guy. Therefore, nothing of consequence gets done.
What if we all, regardless of core beliefs, focused on what we can accomplish, instead of what points we can score against the other guy?
The result would be incremental action toward the common good. Incremental actions, when added up, can yield real accomplishments.
What would help this process is everyone agreeing on facts. When one side doesn’t get its way, it can tend to say the other side was wrong, or fraudulent, and can tend to invent its own set of facts.
Then, to emphasize the point, they keep spouting this set of “facts” as if it were true, thinking enough people will believe them.
In most instances, there is one truth. Anything to the contrary is, at best, “spin,” or, at worst, false. Once the actual truth is discerned, we can come closer to agreement on what to do, or not do.
Facts can certainly get in the way of a good narrative, or a good conspiracy theory. Although some in power fit the category of wanting to screw, or blame, the other guy, most people want to know the truth, find ways to apply that truth to the problems at hand and find solutions.
Complete solutions may be elusive on first pass. Therefore, incremental solutions tend to produce more agreement.
Most successful people believe in the phrase, “Go big, or go home.”
In today’s discourse, that may be a pipe dream. We will get more done amid differences of opinions and worldviews if we start small. Then, after a time, we can go on to the next small thing. The toe-in-the-water approach may seem pointless to some. But, it may be the best way to arbitrate differences and get to real solutions.
There are big differences of opinion in as diverse a country as ours. It’s difficult to celebrate differences. It may be better to acknowledge them, find points of agreement – or, at least, compromise – and move toward solutions.
The journey toward solutions may be long. But, those who are successful in whatever they do usually find the journey more worthwhile than the destination.
Peter
Tag Archives: attitude
YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR ATTITUDE AND EFFORT
#attitude #effort #DreamJob #LifeWillHitYou #technology #reorganizations
It’s been said that the only things you can control are your attitude and effort.
How you feel about something may have everything to do with how much effort you put into it.
Circumstances happen. How we deal with them makes a difference between success and lack thereof.
Life will hit you in various ways. But successful people don’t let life control them. Instead, they deal with what comes their way, and move on.
If life knocks you down, you get up, dust yourself off and try again.
There was also a thread on the LinkedIn networking site that asked whether there is any such thing as a dream job.
That points to another matter. If you really like your job, and want to keep it, will you be allowed to. Even during labor shortages, as we are now facing, companies reorganize.
As technology progresses, and reorganizations happen, even dream jobs can go away – quickly, and without notice.
No matter how much you like your job, or how good you are at it, the job suddenly can disappear.
So what does one do to in that case?
Going back to attitude and effort, there are a number of options.
First, one can look for another dream job. If he or she is lucky enough to find it, he or she has to remember what happened to the last dream job.
He or she can keep losing and looking, and bounce around like a rubber ball, to borrow from the Bobby Vee song.
But that may not be anyone’s idea of a good time.
There are a number of other options that can allow a person, while he or she is working at one job, to build an income stream with a few part-time, off-work hours a week.
If a person doesn’t want a second job – second jobs usually aren’t that dreamy – he or she can become a part-time entrepreneur.
Those many programs out there allow anyone, regardless of education, background or experience, to have a separate business.
To check out one of the best such programs, message me.
In short, life will hit you. Life will knock you down. You won’t be able to control that.
But you can get up. You can prepare for what you may not really expect. The right attitude and effort can cushion life’s blows.
One can dream of a great job, but he or she has to be aware that dreams can come true, but may not last.
A good attitude and great effort will last, no matter what else doesn’t.
When one combines attitude and effort, he or she can create success eventually. It doesn’t matter what job you are in, or whether you like it. Having a Plan B, or C, or D etc., can blunt the trauma of life.
Your attitude and effort will create success.
Peter
A POSITIVE ATTITUDE CAN MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE
#PositiveAttitude #attitude #talent #discipline
To your eyes, is the glass half-empty or half-full?
When working with a team on a project, are you the first to see the worst-case scenario, and be immediately convinced that the worst will happen?
When getting reassigned at work, do you automatically presume it will be the worst thing that could happen?
Vicki Hitzges discusses attitude in her little book, “Attitude Is Everything: 10 Rules for Staying Positive.”
Her 10 rules include: wait to worry; keep an attitude of gratitude; your health is your wealth; the serious benefits of belly laughs; joy boomerangs; losing the fight? write; keep the faith, baby; learn to say “no” graciously; understand the power of discipline; and surround yourself with positive people.
In the interest of space, let’s focus on the last two rules. Hitzges tells the story of Lilly Mae, a bright girl from a good family who had a solid education. “She knew a smattering about everything, from how the moon affects the tides to surviving a freezing weekend without a tent in the forest,” the author writes.
Unfortunately, Lilly’s parents never disciplined her. She never had to do chores, was never taught to say “please” and “thank you,” and never really obeyed her gentle mother, the author writes. As a result, she grew up overweight, with poor study habits and poor social skills, according to Hitzges. Yet, she could sing, play the piano and play the ukulele. She could transform leftovers into a feast. She, indeed, was talented.
“Talent is cheaper than table salt,” Hitzges quotes novelist Stephen King. “What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work,” Hitzges quotes King.
In other words, “talent without discipline won’t take a person far,” the author writes. “Talent with discipline races like a thoroughbred.”
Something else is true. One who has discipline can be more successful than a person with more talent and less discipline.
As you think of this concept, think of athletes, musicians etc. who make a living with their talent. They are essentially forced to be disciplined to hone their craft and practice with others, and on their own, tirelessly. Otherwise, in most cases, they won’t make a living with their talent.
Those less talented than others who make a living in, say, sports or music, do so strictly through hard work. If you can’t outrun someone, out-work him.
As for positive people, the author writes: “Spent much time around people who just drift through life? They don’t set goals, expect others to pick up the slack, just don’t care. Avoid them!” the author writes.
Another adage: “If you can’t change the people around you, change the people around you.”
Negative people will work really hard to try to talk you out of being successful. Hang around people who will support your endeavors, and encourage your success.
If you are a person who considers himself or herself disciplined, and have a need to find a vehicle that could help you become successful, and introduce you to positive people, there are many such vehicles out there. To learn about one of the best, message me.
Your success doesn’t depend on circumstances. Things will happen to you, but those things don’t determine your success. How you deal with them determines your success. Your positive attitude will help you combat any pitfalls in your life, and allow you to take advantage of the good things that come into your life.
Peter
QUANTIFYING THE BENEFIT OF A GOOD ATTITUDE
#atttitude #GoodAttitude #QuantifyingAttitude
No rah-rah speeches, please.
That’s what Sam Glenn, a worldwide expert on attitude, was told by a company representative who was considering hiring him to give a speech.
So Glenn tells the story of how much a good attitude is really worth.
Glenn was going to buy a TV, but only had $500 to spend. The store clerk says $500 won’t cover that. Glenn asks to speak to a manager. When the manager comes over, his first response, rather than “may I help you,” or something akin, was, “what’s the problem?”
When all was said and done, the manager could do nothing for Glenn, so he took his $500 and walked out of the store.
“That unhelpful attitude is reflected in the level of work they do in the workplace,” Glenn writes in his book, “The Gift of Attitude: 10 Way to Change the Way You Feel.”
Good attitudes have a benefit that can be quantified. If one customer per day leaves a business without spending money, because he doesn’t like how he was treated, that’s real money, Glenn asserts. Multiplied over a week, month or year, you can see the cost of a bad attitude.
The book also talks about attitude “warriors,” people who make it a point to ALWAYS have a great attitude, and attitude “termites,” those that eat away at people’s good attitude.
So, the question becomes, are you a warrior or a termite?
If you are a warrior, you probably are intentional about how you feel. You insist on not just displaying a good attitude, but genuinely creating one. If you are a termite, you work diligently to make happy people miserable. But, if you run into a warrior, chances are the termite tactics won’t work on that person because he or she has made it a point not to let a termite taste victory.
Circumstances differ day to day in most workplace settings. Warriors don’t allow those circumstances to affect their attitude. They make good situations great and bad situations better.
They treat everyone as if he or she is special.
If your (pick one: work, financial, personal) circumstances are causing you to be an attitude termite, think about what’s good in your life, and try adjusting your attitude using those things.
Think about ways to help others. If you are looking for a vehicle to make your life better, and help others, there are many such vehicles out there. To check out one of the best, message me.
If you are an employer, devote a priority to an employee’s, or prospective employee’s, attitude. The right attitude can yield real productivity. The opposite is also true. An employee’s bad attitude can really cost you.
If you are an employee, make sure you create a good attitude going into work. A good attitude reduces stress and allows you to better deal with any circumstances that cross your path. You may not solve every problem, but you’ll find many more possible solutions – or create a solution.
If you are having a bad day, and it’s affecting your attitude, think about a time when you were treated badly by a store clerk, or some other person you were hoping would help you solve a problem. You do not want to be like that person. You want to solve your and others’ problems.
Leave home thinking you’re going to save the world – one person at a time – by treating that person the way you would want to be treated.
Peter
ATTITUDE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT
#attitude
To paraphrase a Southwest Airlines ad: We all know airline employees have attitudes, but we have the good ones.
When your parents told you have an attitude, it was not a compliment. Of course, if you didn’t have the attitude THEY wanted you to have, you were told you have an attitude.
But Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay University in Tennessee, believes an attitude can be the force, as in “Star Wars,” that should be with you. He wrote about that in an Oct. 12, 2014, column in The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
As a child, your parents did not want you have independent thought. They saw that as attitude. They did not want you to think that things they had taught you could be wrong.
As adults, it’s desirable to question things. It’s desirable to investigate for oneself whether something is right or wrong. It’s best, as an adult, not to assume or presume. It’s best to make judgments based on facts.
But attitude is much more than finding facts and making judgments. Attitude is belief. To quote Steinberg, attitude is a force. It’s also, as he said, a choice.
One can choose to be optimistic or pessimistic. Once can choose to see the world as a great place, or a doomed place. Once can choose to believe that the best years of their lives are ahead of them.
Of course, belief is a start. One must act on what he believes. He must choose to fight through the gloom and doom and take charge of his life.
How does one do that when “life” has hit him upside the head? First, he recalls what is good in his life – and we all have good in our lives. Then, he is grateful for the good in his life. Chances are, what’s good in one’s life trumps what’s bad. So, we fight through the bad by having an attitude of gratitude.
Then, one must ask: what can I do to make things great? If you are having trouble finding a good answer to that question, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You’ll see people who had trouble answering that question in the past finding the answer in abundance.
But no good thing comes to us without effort. We must make an effort not only to believe there is good out there, but to find it.
Once we find it, we must do what we need to do to get it. Once we get it, we must help others believe it, find it and grab it.
Perhaps it’s not what lies beneath that matters. It’s what lies within.
Our circumstances may rattle and shake us. But they should never break us.
We mustn’t fear the future, for it eventually will be bright if we make it so.
So, as an adult, it’s OK to have an attitude. It’s OK to defy what peril has been put upon you.
We all have so much good in our lives. Embrace that to start with, then go get more of it.
Attitude is a choice. Choose wisely.
Peter
DO SOMETHING
I am one person. I can’t do everything. But I am me. I can do something.
Paraphrase of a T-shirt seen in an airport
#dosomething
We all gripe about the world.
Perhaps we’ve gone through some things we didn’t deserve.
Perhaps we’ve seen everything we’ve worked for disappear, through no fault of our own.
Perhaps we have an illness that we not only never expected, but feel incapable to deal with.
Our circumstances are none of our business. How we deal with them is every bit our business.
Maybe we can’t change the way the world is. But we can change the way WE are.
Perhaps we can’t fix all destruction. But we can fix what we can see and touch.
Some are bent on destroying us. But we are flexible. We keep moving.
The boss wants us gone. So we go, and make a better life.
We get sick. But we do what we need to get better.
We are told certain things are true. Yet we find some may not be.
Even the smallest deception we may try can hurt someone else big time.
We are all better than we think we are at the moment. We just have to go for it!
All you think, do and say has a consequence. Make all thoughts, deeds and words positive.
Don’t let the naysayers get you down. For there is much out there that is good and true.
If no one gives you a pat on the back, give yourself one.
Haven’t gotten a raise in years? Look for something more beneficial to you.
Having trouble finding that benefit? Visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau
The world can be a dark place. Let your attitude shine a light for you.
Perhaps you can’t change everything. But you can change.
When everything isn’t what it seems, keep digging. You may find gold.
If you dread getting up in the morning, be thankful that you still can.
The best way to get on your feet is to get off your butt. (seen on a license plate)
People and companies will do what they must do. You do what you must do.
Be the music that rocks your world when evil tries to drown you out.
Be you. Do what you know you should. Help others, so you may help yourself.
Peter
BEST IT CAN POSSIBLY BE
#perfectmoments
We all strive for perfect moments, though perfection, among humans, is impossible.
In his book, “The Perfect Moment,” Andy Andrews realizes that perfection is impossible. So he defines “perfect” moments as the best that can possibly be.
We all love different things, but Andrews’ book points out that perfect moments are when good things come together. He tells the story of playing catch with his son, using a football. His son “goes long,” Andrews throws the ball, his son grabs it over his shoulder, falls down along the beach and yells, “touchdown.”
Andrews was on the beach playing with his son. The sun was out. It wasn’t too hot, nor too cold. The weather was, well, perfect. In that moment, everything came together for Andrews and his son.
What do you consider “perfect” moments? Perhaps it’s a nice day on the golf course, when you score a hole-in-one – with a witness, of course. If you’re an athlete, it may be when you, personally, have won a championship game with a winning score.
If you’re in sales, it may be when you’ve finally gotten a big contract from a prospective client that had never let you see him – until now. You’d done your due diligence, and your persistence paid off!
We have perfect moments at work, at home and in life. Perhaps perfection came when you met the person with whom you would spend the rest of your life. And, you knew it, or at least felt it, at the time.
The message in Andrews’ book is that perfect moments are created by you. Sure, they can just “happen,” but the person who creates perfect moments will see more of them.
He points out that part of perfect moments is having nothing urgent that you needed to attend to, but were ignoring. With many of us, that’s easier said than done. So the message then becomes to get your mandatory tasks done so you can have time to create perfect moments.
Free time scarce? Money even scarcer? For a potential solution to both of those problems, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You might be able to eventually have enough time to create perfect moments, along with enough money to enjoy and appreciate them.
Here’s another thing about perfect moments. You have to realize them, when you encounter them. The golfer who scores a hole-in-one will probably realize his immediately. But those beautiful days at the beach spending time with your family could be taken for granted.
So, you must realize the moments as well as enjoy them. When we realize them, we are grateful for every one of them. We may have to adjust our attitudes toward gratitude, but grateful people generally find success – and more perfect moments.
We must be a little careful not to live in every moment. Some moments are stressful, and far from perfect. Some moments are burdensome, yet we bear burdens to free us to create more perfect moments.
We are blessed to be free to create perfect moments. We understand absolute perfection is not humanly possible. But as we go through life as we know it, we realize more and more those moments that are the best that can possibly be.
Peter