Tag Archives: Ronald Reagan

IF PUSH COMES TO SHOVE …

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#push #shove #peace #compromise #disputes #ResolvingDisputes #strength
If push comes to shove … has come to mean that things could go from bad to worse.
Or, it could mean that if someone pushes you, you might shove back.
Does anyone WANT to get pushed, or shoved?
A push, actually, could be positive. A parent, teacher, friend or coach could push someone to be a better version of himself or herself.
That person may shove back by offering resistance, even if they know deep down of the pusher’s good intentions.
On the opposite side, someone may push you to do something you don’t want to do. You may shove back by saying no repeatedly, as the pusher keeps at you.
Technically, push and shove could be synonyms. But, as we understand the words, a push may be gentler than a shove.
That brings us back to the expression. When one is gently pushed, he or she may shove back more aggressively.
We use the expression usually in context with conflicts with others. When the dispute comes to a head, what will we do next?
Some people plan their moves carefully. They anticipate that a dispute will come to a climax, and they have the next move in their back pockets.
Others genuinely don’t know what to do when conflict reaches a point that requires “the next move.”
They could go with their gut and do what comes to them at the time. They could walk away in defeat. Or, a level-headed person could just say enough is enough. Let’s stop fighting and find common ground for peace.
In today’s polarized world, we need more level-headed peacemakers. The great poet and orator Maya Angelou once said. “we are more alike than we are unalike.”
Certainly, we will disagree, perhaps about a lot of things. But, when push comes to shove, what will we do next?
Will we agree to disagree, move on and find agreement on other matters? Will we avoid discussion of topics that provoke disagreement? What if the topic that promotes disagreements MUST be discussed? Avoidance can be a form of cowardice when it comes to those mandatory topics.
In those cases, the noble peacemakers look for common ground. They find compromise. They believe that compromise is a form of strength, especially when sticking to your guns can get you shot down.
While others see weakness in compromise, the noble among us not only see strength in it, but also see it as the best, and only, way to resolve conflict. Defeating others through force is not only weak, but also cowardly and lazy.
Peace via compromise is weapon for good. Though in such cases no one gets everything he or she wants, everyone gets something. That leads to, as the late President Ronald Reagan put it, “peace through strength.”
So, the next time you face a situation in which push comes to shove, what will you do?
Peter

WHEN THINGS WORK, DO YOU NOTICE?

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#notice #credit #blame #SmoothOperations #EfficientOperations
We expect things to work.
When they do, usually we don’t notice. We only notice when they DON’T work.
We discussed this previously concerning wifi service. We don’t care if it’s “booming,” as the Xfinity ad says. We just want it to work all the time. Far too often, it doesn’t. Then, we notice.
Government is like that, too. When government hums along, we don’t notice it. We don’t hear about it. Usually, that means it’s working.
When it doesn’t work, we notice and, usually, hear about it.
Here’s another way to apply this logic. When you dress properly for a job interview, usually the interviewer won’t notice. That means the applicant can get the interviewer to notice other things, like his or her personality, work ethic and qualifications.
But, if the applicant is not appropriately dressed, that’s all the interviewer will notice.
It’s been said that the goal of some jobs is to make oneself obsolete, so that the charges can function smoothly and well without the boss being present.
Unfortunately, some bosses, looking to advance their own careers, MUST be omnipresent, so that they can claim all the credit for jobs well done.
Companies, and politicians, thrive on notice. When things work, they want to shout it from the rooftops. They want to make sure, in the case of companies, that those not yet buying their product or service are told how well those products or services work.
Politicians want to get re-elected, so they want to broadcast how well things are going on their watch.
When things don’t go well, the politicians, in most cases, try to past blame to predecessors or opponents.
To paraphrase President Ronald Reagan, we could do more good things if we didn’t have to worry about who gets the credit. Would fewer bad things happen if we didn’t worry as much about who gets the blame?
We don’t have to force ourselves to think about things more because they are working.
In such cases, blissful contentment is a perfectly fine response.
But, when things go wrong, we may tend to harken back to when they were working. But, don’t spend much time on such nostalgia. Work to fix the problem so your blissful contentment can return.
Every employer should want their employees to operate smoothly and profitably whether they are present or not.
But, if there is any public credit to be bestowed, give most, if not all of it, to the employees. You can take your own credit in silence at home.
Aspire not only for a good, productive workplace, but one that operates so well your customers hardly notice, if at all.
Perhaps you can even strive for a workplace that works so well, your employees don’t notice.
Peter

TRUST IS A VALUABLE COMMODITY

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Trust must be earned. It can’t be ordered.
Therefore, trust is valuable.
If you’ve earned the trust of others, they will do what you want them to, and they expect you to have their backs.
As you earn trust, don’t lose it. It could cost you dearly.
Rory Vaden, a self-discipline strategist and speaker, as well as co-founder of Southwestern Consulting, lists seven ways to lose trust. They are: be selfish, be protective (of your turf), be ungrateful, be self-centered, be passive-aggressive, be negative and be incongruent.
Vaden talked about these trust busters in a Sept. 8, 2013, column in the Tennessean newspaper of Nashville.
People generally trust positive, upbeat people. Sure, we all occasionally meet phonies who fein a positive attitude, but turn out to be snakes in the grass. But most of us can spot those folks easily, before too much trust has been established. We react differently to those who are genuninely positive.
People who are genuinely positive, even under difficult circumstances, also tend not to be selfish. They tend to be grateful for anything anyone does for them. They tend to think of others first, and that generally separates them from the phonies.
They tend to be private people, but not secretive. They tend not to protect their own turf at any cost. They tend to do what they say and say what they mean all the time. They would not even think about being devious, unless it’s all in fun, as in surprising one’s spouse on a birthday.
Sometimes it’s difficult to trust, especially when someone you’d trusted violates the trust. In that case, don’t presume EVERYONE will violate your trust, and give the person who has violated trust sufficent time to earn it back. Many marriages that could have been saved dissolve because one spouse’s trust was violated, and the other spouse is never given a chance to earn it back. The rule here might be that one violation of trust is not insurmountable. Trust can be earned back. Multiple violations of trust may do you in.
In marriage, not only is it virtuous to be trustworthy with your spouse, but more convenient. It has to be really difficult keeping a false story straight every time, day in and day out. Eventually, if you try to do that, you’ll slip up and get caught. If you are trustworthy, period, your spouse always knows everything, and everything he or she knows about you is true.
One’s trust should be given with care, but still given. Never trusting anyone will lead a person to a pretty miserable life. It’s OK to trust. It’s also OK to, as former U.S. President Ronald Reagan once put it, to verify, if there is any question.
You’ve heard that if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Sometimes, we have good things come into our lives, yet we don’t trust that they are true, or they will do what they say they will do.
If you are looking to improve your life, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You can trust that everything you read, hear and see there is true.
Trusting, and being trustworthy will also improve your life. Trust is valuable to give and valuable to receive. Do both with care.
Peter