#HappyNewYear #changes #vote #elections
Most of us look at a new calendar year as a time to reflect on what’s good in our lives, and examine what we need to change.
The coming year could be one of big changes worldwide.
How we vote in the upcoming year could be extremely consequential. Regardless of your opinions on various candidates and issues, it is extremely important for EVERYONE to vote. For some, it could be the difference between life and death. For others, it’s our best way to change what we want changed, though, to paraphrase what the Rolling Stones have sung, we don’t always get everything we want.
Still, you have to participate if you are eligible. It should be as critical a task as anything you do in life.
But, aside from voting, what else do you need to do this year?
To determine that, first figure out what you want from life. Is your life good now? If so, marvelous. If not, what needs to change?
Are there things you can do to make a good life even better? Are there things you must do to make a not-so-good life good?
Circumstances befall all. But circumstances do not, or should not, dictate outcomes. Bad circumstances can turn into good outcomes with thought, hard work and a good attitude.
We all tend to blame bad things on other people or things. Blaming takes energy, and zaps emotional strength from everyone. Generally, it’s counterproductive.
It is not what happened to you that matters. It’s how you react to it that determines your life.
Dwell less on things you can’t control and focus on things you can control. Yes, some would be amazed, when they think about it, how much of their lives is in their control.
We also tend to presume the worst, When bad things happen, we may think we can never recover. Or, we may tend to think that things will only get worse.
Sometimes, optimism requires work. You may have to look for the pony who produced the pile of manure. You may have to be open to new ideas, and new ways of doing things.
You also may have to accept some outcomes. If you get injured or ill, you must work to get better. If someone close to you dies, you must grieve in your own way, then find a way to move past your grief. Some grief lingers for a lifetime, but you can face that grief each time, and still live the rest of your life. It requires strength that many may need to acquire.
To quote from Queen’s lyric from “We Are the Champions,” life often is no bed of roses or pleasure cruise.
It may come with serious thorns or turbulence. But, as people, we are strong. We can face adversity without wallowing in pity and blame.
It takes effort. It takes work. It takes determination. It takes persistence.
So, this year, show that strength. Vote if you are eligible. Show that if you are slapped down, you get up and move forward.
Happy New Year!
Peter
Tag Archives: blame
IT’S NOT ABOUT FINDING SOLUTIONS; IT’S ABOUT WHOM TO BLAME
#blame #solutions #politics #DifferencesOfOpinion #CultureWar
“Most Americans could … be considered pragmatic moderates on the majority of political issues. While research (shows) some polarization has increases, it appears to have been exaggerated.”
So writes Gail Sahar, professor of psychology at Wheaton College in Norton, Mass. An article, adapted from her book “Blame and Political Attitudes:The Psychology of America’s Culture War,” was published June 21, 2023, in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
Sahar believes that the basis for democracy assumes people can reason. When we underestimate the American public’s ability to rationally consider issues, we undermine our nation’s foundation, she writes.
“The current focus on blame has emerged as the missing link connecting ideology to attitude across a range of issues,” she writes.
In current political discourse, people not only want everyone to follow what THEY believe in, but also want to blame someone else when things go wrong.
To paraphrase the late U.S. President Ronald Reagan, the U.S. Congress would get more done if they cared less about who gets the credit. The converse is also true. If nothing gets done, the other guy is to blame.
This culture of blame, as Sahar calls it, may arouse strong feelings on both sides of an issue. But, we always find an excuse to blame the other guy. Therefore, nothing of consequence gets done.
What if we all, regardless of core beliefs, focused on what we can accomplish, instead of what points we can score against the other guy?
The result would be incremental action toward the common good. Incremental actions, when added up, can yield real accomplishments.
What would help this process is everyone agreeing on facts. When one side doesn’t get its way, it can tend to say the other side was wrong, or fraudulent, and can tend to invent its own set of facts.
Then, to emphasize the point, they keep spouting this set of “facts” as if it were true, thinking enough people will believe them.
In most instances, there is one truth. Anything to the contrary is, at best, “spin,” or, at worst, false. Once the actual truth is discerned, we can come closer to agreement on what to do, or not do.
Facts can certainly get in the way of a good narrative, or a good conspiracy theory. Although some in power fit the category of wanting to screw, or blame, the other guy, most people want to know the truth, find ways to apply that truth to the problems at hand and find solutions.
Complete solutions may be elusive on first pass. Therefore, incremental solutions tend to produce more agreement.
Most successful people believe in the phrase, “Go big, or go home.”
In today’s discourse, that may be a pipe dream. We will get more done amid differences of opinions and worldviews if we start small. Then, after a time, we can go on to the next small thing. The toe-in-the-water approach may seem pointless to some. But, it may be the best way to arbitrate differences and get to real solutions.
There are big differences of opinion in as diverse a country as ours. It’s difficult to celebrate differences. It may be better to acknowledge them, find points of agreement – or, at least, compromise – and move toward solutions.
The journey toward solutions may be long. But, those who are successful in whatever they do usually find the journey more worthwhile than the destination.
Peter
DO SOMETHING; THERE IS MUCH IN YOUR LIFE YOU CAN CONTROL
#DoSomething #IgnoranceInAction #KnowledgeAtRest
Ignorance in action is better than knowledge at rest.
That’s the conclusion reached in the book ,”The Final Summit: A Quest to Find the One Principle That Will Save Humanity”, by Andy Andrews.
Andrews takes a group of historical figures and other successful people places them in a room to help figure out what the world, and individuals, need to do to improve the human condition.
After several tries and great guesses at the one thing that would be most beneficial, they finally came to the conclusion that one must do something, even if he or she doesn’t know what to do.
Careful thought is certainly not discouraged. Neither is constant learning. But thoughts and knowledge only take one so far. Not putting what one knows and thinks into action renders thoughts and knowledge moot.
Certainly, many people have been hit hard by circumstances, either as individuals or groups. Often, when they reflect upon what has happened to them, they tend to look for something, or someone, to blame for their plight.
When they do that, they either fail to see, or fear to take, the action THEY can take to eventually improve their lives.
Fear and blame waste energy that could be used to take an action that will make a difference in one’s life.
Sometimes, though, one might not know about something that they could do to change their lives. There are many such vehicles out there that may be able to do what’s needed, that not everyone may know about. If you’d like to hear about one of the best such vehicles, message me.
Sometimes, fear, or skepticism may prevent someone from checking out something that could be the game-changer they are looking for. Also, for some, if they get the opportunity to check it out, they hesitate to act out of fear, self-doubt etc.
Remember the point of Andrews’ book: do something, even if you are not sure what to do.
Remember, too, that one has nothing to lose by looking. That means, don’t assume you are not going to like something before you check it out.
We’ve all met people who say they don’t like certain foods, but have never tasted them.
Have you ever started a new job, in a new location, and are not sure you are going to cut it the first few weeks? Perhaps the routine is new. Perhaps you have to learn new skills. Perhaps something seems difficult at first, but will get easier with time.
If you have to work, you have to give it your best shot. Time can tame the untenable. Time can often turn drudgery into simplicity. It can help you learn to do things better, faster and easier. Every new situation deserves a little time.
So, it doesn’t matter that you don’t have 100 percent certainty about where you are going and what you are doing. It doesn’t matter that things seem difficult now. Don’t let the unknown keep you from taking action YOU can take to better your life.
Just when it seems the world has gone to hell in a hand basket, perhaps making hand baskets will change your life.
Peter
SOLUTION VS. BLAME: YOUR FIRST INSTINCT
When you, or someone close to you, runs into a problem, what’s your first instinct?
Is it to find where the fault is, or to find a solution?
Comedian Bill Cosby, in a televised routine, talked about, obviously from a male perspective, how your wife is NOT your friend. She is your wife.
Cosby cites the example of a man whose car broke down in the middle of the night, somewhere a distance from home. Whom should he call first: his wife, or his friend?
The friend, Cosby asserts, will first ask: “Are you all right?” Then, he will ask, “Where are you?” Then, he’ll say, “I’ll be right there.”
His wife, on the other hand, will first tell him, “I told you to get that car fixed.” You can imagine where the conversation goes from there.
It begs the question: when you are confronted with a problem, do you instinctively act to solve it first, or do you instinctively look for whom to blame for it first?
Some circumstances are avoidable. Some are not. Some you can prevent. Others you can’t. The point is, you identify the type of circumstance you are in AFTER you act to get out of it.
Leadership expert and author John Maxwell, and perhaps others, have said that we either succeed or learn. We should use our failures as learning experiences. But those lessons should come after we have acted to correct what is wrong.
Certainly, the Cosby routine is funny. We all have to laugh at ourselves. Many spouses are friends. But if our instinct is to blame first, and solve later, we will find more success if we can change that in ourselves.
Getting laid off from a job is likely not your fault. If it is, you probably have more things to correct. If it is not, don’t wallow in who’s to blame for your circumstances. Act to change them. What you do after the fact IS your doing. Wishing things were as they had been is wasting your energy. Just presume those days will never come again, and move on to bigger and better things.
Be a realist, but only for a second. Realize that the past is past and the future is yet to come. Then, dream about what you want your future to be.
Realists tend not to dream, so that’s why you should only be realist for short periods, when circumstances hit. You are realist when you believe the good old days are gone. Then, resume your dream about the good things yet to come.
Today, there are many vehicles that can help make dreams a reality. For one of the best, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You may realize your dreams quickly or slowly, but your dreams are there for the taking if you want to work for them.
Getting back to Cosby’s advice: if your car breaks down in the middle of the night, call someone who will take care of the problem first, without a lecture. Then, think about what you might have done to prevent it, so you can minimize or eliminate that situation again.
In life, you can follow Cosby’s advice by, as many leadership and motivational experts urge, RESPONDING to circumstances, rather than REACTING to them. Responding is positive. Reacting is negative. Solving is positive. Blaming is negative.
Be positive. Know that whatever circumstance you are in, the best life ever could be just around the corner, if you act and think correctly.
Peter