#push #shove #peace #compromise #disputes #ResolvingDisputes #strength
If push comes to shove … has come to mean that things could go from bad to worse.
Or, it could mean that if someone pushes you, you might shove back.
Does anyone WANT to get pushed, or shoved?
A push, actually, could be positive. A parent, teacher, friend or coach could push someone to be a better version of himself or herself.
That person may shove back by offering resistance, even if they know deep down of the pusher’s good intentions.
On the opposite side, someone may push you to do something you don’t want to do. You may shove back by saying no repeatedly, as the pusher keeps at you.
Technically, push and shove could be synonyms. But, as we understand the words, a push may be gentler than a shove.
That brings us back to the expression. When one is gently pushed, he or she may shove back more aggressively.
We use the expression usually in context with conflicts with others. When the dispute comes to a head, what will we do next?
Some people plan their moves carefully. They anticipate that a dispute will come to a climax, and they have the next move in their back pockets.
Others genuinely don’t know what to do when conflict reaches a point that requires “the next move.”
They could go with their gut and do what comes to them at the time. They could walk away in defeat. Or, a level-headed person could just say enough is enough. Let’s stop fighting and find common ground for peace.
In today’s polarized world, we need more level-headed peacemakers. The great poet and orator Maya Angelou once said. “we are more alike than we are unalike.”
Certainly, we will disagree, perhaps about a lot of things. But, when push comes to shove, what will we do next?
Will we agree to disagree, move on and find agreement on other matters? Will we avoid discussion of topics that provoke disagreement? What if the topic that promotes disagreements MUST be discussed? Avoidance can be a form of cowardice when it comes to those mandatory topics.
In those cases, the noble peacemakers look for common ground. They find compromise. They believe that compromise is a form of strength, especially when sticking to your guns can get you shot down.
While others see weakness in compromise, the noble among us not only see strength in it, but also see it as the best, and only, way to resolve conflict. Defeating others through force is not only weak, but also cowardly and lazy.
Peace via compromise is weapon for good. Though in such cases no one gets everything he or she wants, everyone gets something. That leads to, as the late President Ronald Reagan put it, “peace through strength.”
So, the next time you face a situation in which push comes to shove, what will you do?
Peter
#HappyNewYear #2025 #GoodReturns #truth #science #leadership #peace
Happy New Year!
May 2025 be a year of good returns. We are not talking about unwanted holiday gifts or even investments, though we could wish good investment returns for everyone.
We are talking about the returns of truth, science, leadership and peace.
Truth has largely disappeared from much recent discourse. Inconvenient truth, to borrow a phrase from former Vice President Al Gore, is replaced by falsehoods explained away by something other than documented evidence. Just because one may hear these falsehoods over again doesn’t make them true.
So, if one hears or reads something they may even want to be true, look for the documentation and proof. If you don’t see it, don’t believe it.
Dovetailing with truth is science. Again, inconvenient science is being replaced by theories (not science) that may sound better to many. But, these theories have not been scientifically proved, and are often downright wrong. It’s gotten to the point at which legitimate scientists are being criticized, persecuted, fired or even prosecuted for doing their jobs.
Doctors can’t practice medicine according to scientific principles in some places. Teachers can’t teach real science in some places, lest it conflicts with some religious beliefs. Faith is good, even virtuous. But faith, by definition, is the belief in something that may or may not be provable. Science is the act of taking a belief and proving veracity — or not.
Leadership is doing the right thing by others, often without notice. Leaders let their actions tell their story. Too many pseudo leaders of today tell their great stories, making sure actions – whether for the good or not – are on display.
These pseudo leaders don’t often think through decisions, or even get good advice. They do what, in their gut, looks good at the time.
This behavior produces many contradictions: For example, you may hear statements about not wanting to teach sexuality in school, but, at the same time, wanting more young women to have babies – wanted or not.
How can one expect anyone to make good decisions about having children without knowing all the facts?
Leaders create an atmosphere in which their teams, and those they are supposed to lead, can make good decisions for themselves, while helping those who need it. Often, leaders do what they do without much notice.
We all wish for peace, whether it is among warring factions abroad, or quarrelling factions at home. Family dinners that once were civil, pleasant or even delightful have become less so, even provocative.
Peace is not just the absence of fighting. It is the function of everyone having everything that is rightfully theirs. No unprovoked invasions of countries. No uncalled-for criticisms of one’s life endeavors.
Peace is everyone living with what is rightfully theirs, without infringement from others.
So, as we embark on a new year, may it bring everyone good returns. May those returns bring blessings upon all.
Peter
