It takes all kinds to make a world, and those most successful people value everyone that helps them achieve success.
“When you make every client your favorite, you are bound to have a deeper connection with your clients, as well as have greater success,” says Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay State University and author of the Washington Post best seller “Full Throttle.”
“You will always have some clients whom you perceive as friendly and kindhearted.,” Steinberg said in a May 2013 column in The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
But, “”everyone’s business has a few clients that simply get on the nerves,” he added. Your dislike for that client will eventually show through, and affect your business, he said.
Let’s dig deeper into Steinberg’s idea. Everyone that we interact with has good and bad traits. We just have to focus on the good traits, and let the bad ones roll off our backs. By focusing on one’s bad traits, we waste energy. Dislike, even hate, takes energy. It doesn’t improve anything. It doesn’t move us forward.
If a person is vital to our lives, or our businesses, we have to manage our emotions about them. We have to focus our energy on appreciating the good they do, and not waste a lot of energy focusing on what they don’t do for us.
Any relationship is like that. One cannot be blind to the flaws of another, but one does not have to focus on it. Focusing on the positive not only improves chances of success in that relationship, it also creates less stress.
Sometimes we witness true evil. We can’t help but expend energy trying to combat that. Though motivational speaker Andy Andrews tells us to “sweat the small stuff,” sometimes the little things that a person does that annoy us might not be worth sweating. Andrews also advises us to “smile when we talk.” If we do that consistently, we will focus our energy on the positive traits of those we come in contact with. The nagging little annoyances won’t bother us so much.
Success is treating each (pick one: client, coworker, friend, acquaintance, neighbor) as if they are just right for you. Seeing and focusing on the positive in that person will be reciprocated. Perhaps you will make each other successful, which is ideal.
If you want to make everyone you interact with successful, but are not sure how to do that, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. This may be the vehicle you have been looking for not only for your own success, but also to help others succeed.
Helping others involves giving, but sometimes the best thing you can give a person is a way to help themselves and others.
The more you give in that regard, the more those to whom you give the opportunity will pass it on. The more everyone passes it on, ultimately, the more successful people become AND the more people become successful.
The more successful people there are, the better place the world becomes. The more successful anyone becomes, the less energy is wasted on little annoyances. But to get to that point, you first have to make the effort NOT to focus on what annoys you. Focus on what you see that is good, and continue to feed that.
In short, don’t let the little stings cripple you. That creature who stings produces the honey that you love. The more honey, the more success.
Peter
Author Archives: pbilodeau01
THEYEAR OF THE TEACHER
In recent years, schoolteachers, particularly public schoolteachers, have gotten a bad rap.
There have been cheating scandals on standardized tests in Georgia. U.S. students have fallen behind students in other developed countries. Some schools are failing their students because of either funding shortfalls, unsafe conditions etc.
Some say that the methods used to evaluate teachers’ performance are inadequate or obsolete. As a result, poor teachers keep their jobs and good teachers get laid off. In fact, state and municipal funding shortfalls have made many teachers expendable.
Certainly, all of this is occurring.
But the December 2012 shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary Scholl in Newtown, Conn., and the devastating tornado that hammered schools in Moore, Okla., in May 2013 have shown that teachers are real heroes. What they do every day is heroic, but the tragedies illustrate their intrinsic motivation.
Teachers in those two schools have shown how much they love their students. They love them so much that they would risk their own lives to save them. Those teachers did what they felt they had to do to save as many students as they could.
Does this sound like the dependent, government employees some commentators have made them out to be? Are the public schools just a bastion of taxpayer-funded workers who get summers off and don’t do much for the children? Are teachers just in it for the paycheck, pension, and generous government benefits the taxpayers reluctantly dole out? Are they, and their unions, just working to keep the cushy deal they have?
A fan Tweeted to Diane Sawyer, anchor of ABC’s World News on May 21, 2013, that this might be the year of the teacher because of Sandy Hook and Moore. The teachers showed their true character in time of tragedy. They weren’t looking out for themselves in those instances.
Government workers in general get bad press because most of us hate paying taxes. Some view government spending as one of two things: waste and free stuff for the undeserving. But if you ask anyone whether the teachers at Sandy Hook and Moore were worth whatever they were getting paid, few would say no.
Government provides essential services. Many individuals who work in government are dedicated to what they do. They are not there just for the generous benefit package. In fact, many in government, including teachers, get paid very little in relative terms. Frequently, folks who make a lot more than they do are the biggest complainers about schools, and government in general, because they don’t want to pay the taxes it takes to take care of those dedicated folks.
Sure, as in anything, there are abusers. There are teachers and government employees who are in their jobs for self-serving reasons. But in most cases, those who work for the people are motivated by something other than pay and benefits. The teachers of Sandy Hook and Moore proved that.
If you are a teacher or other government employee , who sees a lack of appreciation for your hard work and dedication, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. It may be just the thing to allow you to leave with a smile on your face when you are hit with the next layoff or budget cut. You may not be motivated by money for yourself, but this could give a great ability to help others not only with your time and skill, but also with your money.
Don’t let them call spending on your salary and benefits a “waste.” Don’t let them tell you that you don’t deserve what you get from the taxpayers. If you hear such a thing, just mention the behavior of teachers at Sandy Hook and Moore. They weren’t doing what they do just for the money.
Peter
CORPORATE SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY
We’ve seen the corporate world evolve over time.
Years ago, making money was all that mattered.
Then, as the labor movement took hold, being a good employer was important.
Today, being a good corporate citizen has become critical to one’s reputation.
Business authors Archie Carroll and Ann Buckholtz define “corporate social responsibility” as “economic , legal, ethical and discretionary expectations that society has of organizations.”
As David Bohan, founder of Advertising, wrote in the Tennessean newspaper in May 2013, CSR must become part of a business plan, no matter the size of the business.
Companies must have a strong bottom line, but cannot get greedy. They must treat their employees, shareholders and customers well. They must show their communities at large that they are givers. They must act responsibly in everything they do.
To paraphrase S. Truett Cathy, founder of the Chik-fil-A sandwich chain: earn your money honestly, spend it wisely and give the rest of it away.
You earn your money honestly not just by avoiding illegal activity, but also by treating others as you would want to be treated. If someone works for you, help them be successful and pay them what they deserve. Don’t just pay them as little as you can get away with. If someone buys from you, bend over backward to make sure they are satisfied. In fact, give them more than they pay for. Don’t try to deceive them with inferior products.
If someone invests with you, make sure you do everything in your power to make that investment pay off. Don’t “cook the books” to make the company look better than it is. Don’t make money for yourself while your investors are losing money.
In short, make sure those around you are successful FIRST, then let success come to you.
If you operate in a community, be it a locale, a professional organization or a general citizenry, make sure you are making that community a better place. As a corporate citizen, you have the resources to give your community much of what it needs. You are also responsible to make sure your products are not damaging or polluting that community.
If you do the right things, and do things right, you will profit. If you focus on helping others, others will help you. If your bottom line is about helping others, you should see a nice bottom line for yourself.
Think of others first, and others will think of you. It’s not how much you get that is important, it’s how much you give.
If these ideas resonate with you, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You will learn how to help others in a big way, and reap rewards for your good deeds. As a corporate citizen, companies learn that selfless behavior ultimately yields the best results.
Peter
ENJOYMENT AND WORK
“If you love what you do, you’ll never work another day in your life.”
This oft-quoted phrase hits home with a few.Those who have jobs they enjoy are truly blessed.
For most, though, a different, yet oft-quoted phrase is more applicable. “If it weren’t work, they wouldn’t pay you to do it.”
Rory Vaden, the New York Times best-selling author of “Take the Stairs,” talks about the “enjoyment requirement” many young folks have about work. They need a job they enjoy. They need work they are passionate about and wait — unemployed, living with mom and dad etc. — until it comes.
Often, they don’t know what it is they are passionate about. It’s, like, you know, they will know what it is when they find it.
As Vaden, who discussed this in a May 2013 column in The Tennessean newspaper of Nashville, says: “There is no perfect job. There is no perfect marriage, there is no perfect life that you find; there are only perfect ones that you create by working your butt off to make them that way.”
His point is that those who “find their passion” are willing to put in the time to be successful. Tiger Woods and other golf professionals are passionate about their sport, so they put in the time on the practice range so they can play successfully in tournaments. Passions, like anything good, need to be nurtured with hard, unglamorous work.
Some jobs are nothing but work. You have to find things about them that make it palatable, if not enjoyable, for you to keep doing them. Perhaps what you’ll find is that the job is good because it serves a temporary purpose — it gives you a paycheck while you await your passion.
Other jobs might require you to improve your skills to the point in which you are so good at them, you become passionate.
Others still may have fulfilling purpose for you, but barely make you a living. So, you have to do something a little less fulfilling to improve your financial situtionn.
“Don’t quit your day job” is yet another oft-quoted phrase. If you have a “day job” or a “night job” and are looking for your passion, you may find it by visiting www.bign.com/pbilodeau. If you like what you see, know that a potential fortune is there — if you work at it. But, you can work at it while you are working at something else.
Perhaps you’ll adopt the oft-paraphrased mantra: work full time at your job and part time on your fortune.
Don’t wait for the ideal, Work for it, to paraphrase Vaden. You don’t have to love what you do. You have to create a situation you love. Or, in another oft-quoted phrase, “life is what you make it.’
Peter
FOR YOU, IS LIFE A BOWL OF CHERRIES, OR JUST THE PITS?
Cherries are sweet, but they have pits. You can just spit out the pits. or suck every last bit of flavor out of them.
Those who do the latter are looking for something that may or may not be there. The uncertainty doesn’t stop them from looking.
You see, some people presume the worst, and just spit out the pits.
Others wait to make sure they are not missing something good before they spit the pits.
You can look at your situation as a bowl of cherries, or just the pits.
Are you going to realize that there may be something good left in those pits, or just presume there is nothing there and just spit?
When you eat sweet cherries, you can’t help but encounter pits. So it’s not whether you’ll get pits, it’s how you deal with them that matters. Your circumstances are none of your business, to quote a wise philosopher. How you deal with them is completely within your control. You can enjoy good times and spit the pits, or you can see what the pits have left in them for you.
It’s been said that God doesn’t close a door without opening a window. Sometimes, that window is either hard to find, or may not be apparent to you immediately.
Sometimes, someone you least expect — or may not know yet — will show you where the window is. On the other side may be more sweet cherries, but you may have to endure a few pits to get the most out of them.
See who might be there for you. It’s OK not to know what you are looking for, but first know what you want from life. Don’t make life about money. But, rather, make it about what you could do if you didn’t have to worry about money.
Learn to be a better person by seeing what is possible, instead of dwelling on what you believe is not possible. Summon the spirit inside you to see what might be out there, even as you deal with the hand you’re dealt.
No life is without obstacles, and some obstacles are difficult to overcome. Try to overcome the difficulty by conquering despair, hopelessness and pessimism. It not easy to be successful, but it’s possible for everyone who wants it.
If you are such a person, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You may find the last bit of flavor in a pit you are about to spit.
Life is a bowl of cherries, but the hidden flavor in some pits may lead you to more, and bigger bowls.
Peter
INSPIRATION,DREAMS AMID GLOOM
Even tragedy can inspire.
The folks of Boston, Mass., are clear proof.
They could have sat on the pity pot and said, “why us,” after the bombings at the 2013 Boston Marathon.
Instead, they reacted with resilience, inspired to not let terrorists ruin their city, their lives etc. They grieved the dead and wounded, and got right up and went after the perpetrators. They got two suspects in relatively short order.
One does not have to be a Bostonian, or a victim of a terror attack, to feel violated. A job loss, a drop in business or other economic calamities are common today.
Sure, things appear to be looking up, but if your personal situation is not improving, or may have gotten worse, it’s hard to find something that will inspire you.
Hard, perhaps, but not impossible.
In Boston, there was collective inspiration. You are looking for individual inspiration. Even a guy like Andy Bailey, who coaches entrepreneurs in Nashville, found inspiration in one of his clients.
As Bailey told it in an April 2013 column in The Tennessean newspaper of Nashville, his client emigrated to the U.S. from Cuba, knowing no English to build his own company here.
Instead of looking for folks worse off than you to convince yourself of how good you have it, look to those who’ve overcome obstacles to achieve great things as an inspiration to you. Think of this down period as just one obstacle to success.
Success is defined in many ways besides financial. But financial success makes any dream possible. Puzzled at how to achieve financial success? Visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. It’s one of the best vehicles for an entrepreneur to build success.
Oh, you’re not an entrepreneur? You’re just a “working stiff?” Entrepreneurs are just working stiffs with dreams and inspiration. It’s those dreams and inspiration that turn them from stiff to fluid. They’re fluid enough to find what will fulfill their dreams, and use their inspiration to make it happen.
Nike says “Just Do It.” Your dreams and inspiration will keep you on the right track. If you need dreams and/or inspiration, think of Andy Bailey’s client — or perhaps someone you know or know of who has beaten the odds. More than likely, you’ll find dreams and inspiration as part of his story.
Peter
MONEY, TIME AND VALUE
Time is money.
But have you ever tried putting a value on your time?
Better yet, are you deliberate in how you spend your time?
Rory Vaden, a self-discipline consultant and co-founder of Southwestern Consulting, says very successful people are usually very intentional about how they spend their time.
Successful people understand the “money value of time,” as Vaden put it in an April 2013 column in The Tennessean newspaper of Nashville.
Average people waste a lot of time, and may not even know it.
They look for stuff. They sit in front of the television, not even caring what’s on.
Sometimes we waste time and hate it, such as standing in line, getting stuck in traffic etc. We hate it, yet we rationalize that we “have to do it” to get to something we want. — like show tickets, or getting home from work.
Vaden talks about how people are paid for time in the workplace. One hour of work equals your hourly wage. Everyone can calculate how much he or she gets paid for each hour worked. Yes, even “salaried” folks can figure out what they make per hour.
What’s more difficult for many is figuring out how best to spend each hour of the day. What return will a person get for time spent?
For many, if they analyze time spent, the return on investment may be pretty puny.
You may think television gives you pleasure, but if you spent some of your TV time doing something more productive or worthwhile, you can increase your return on your time investment.
What if you could work full time at your job, and part-time on your fortune? Would you be willing to give up some, say, TV time for a shot at firing your boss? Would you be willing to spend your time away from work on something that will help you grow as a person? If so, check out www.bign.com/pbilodeau. This may enlighten you on a better investment of your time.
Time should not all be about work. Time with family, friends or helping others brings tremendous return on investment. But try taking a week, divide it by hours, and see how you fill those hours. Then, figure the ROI for each hour. You might be surprised at the results. They just might make you a little more deliberate about how you spend each hour.
Rethinking how you spend your time may make you the success you want to be.
Peter
SERVANT LEADERS
It’s normal for a pope to re-enact the scene of Jesus washing the feet of those he serves.
Pope Francis took a different tack this year during Holy Week. He washed the feet of inmates.
The new pope is going out of his way to show humility.
He is shunning the trappings of Vatican life, i.e. gold crosses and riding in the “Pope mobile.”
He is showing servant leadership in a big way, just as Christ did in his time.
More of today’s leaders need to SERVE those they lead. They need to have the three main ingredients to good leadership: humility, integrity and generosity.
They don’t necessarily have to wash the feet of those who work with them. But their goals should be in line with the goals of those they lead. Anyone can give orders. Anyone can tell someone else that they don’t like something they did. But if they can’t HELP the person achieve what is necessary for THAT PERSON’S success, they just become people with power over others.
Power and leadership are not the same. Leaders may know what power they have, but rarely, if ever, exercise it. They feel their job is to help people realize their own potential. They believe their goals should not be self-centered, for they know their success will occur if they just help others succeed.
Leaders also know the difference between authority and influence. One’s authority can influence others, but others just feel compelled to follow. When one has influence, others WILLINGLY follow him and his advice. True leaders lead by example, not by order.
REAL LEADERS DON’T COMMAND RESPECT
The pope is not just a religious leader. He is the equivalent of a head of state. Pope Francis prefers to be recognized as the archbishop of Rome, not as a “head of state.” He believes his job is to serve the poorest of the poor, not have the poor serve him.
One need not be a Catholic to admire the shining example the new pope is showing not only to the public in general, but also to other leaders. Those who aspire to be leaders need to look at his example, not the example of those whose goals are self-centered.
True respect is never commanded. One should never expect respect. One must always do things that earn respect. Of course, one must carry on whether or not he gets respect from everyone. There will always be people who will never respect you. But true leaders set a path of service, without regard of self, or popular opinion. They work to help others. Then, as the world goes, good things come to them.
Leadership is attitude. True leaders may have aspired to be such, but, once in the position, never presume reward. They create self-reward by helping others. Deeds rule. Words – inspiring words – are just a tool.
If you aspire to leadership, ask yourself whether you want to be more like Pope Francis, or more like, say, a corporate titan consumed only by his own bottom line. Are you happiest when helping others, or when others are helping you, while under your duress?
If you aspire to be a servant leader, yet don’t know how best to go about it, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. That may provide the vehicle that will help you help the most people in the biggest way.
Of course, leadership is daily action. Are you doing all that you do sincerely, thinking of others first? If not, try it. You may find it refreshingly rewarding. When others around you succeed, you will succeed too. The more you help them, the more they will succeed. The more they succeed, the more rewards will come your way.
Peter
LEADERS WITH A CONSCIENCE
We think of leaders as people who like to give orders.
We think of leaders as people we need to look up to.
We also think of leaders as people who make things happen.
We don’t normally think of leaders who have a conscience. It seems we were all taught to have a conscience, but somehow when people get into leadership posts, they become more about themselves than others.
Mayor Julian Castro of San Antonio, Texas, brought this to light when he said that for good change to happen, “you need folks in the boardroom who have consciences, and people in the streets who can picket at the right time.”
Castro was quoted in a March 2013 column by Washington Post columnist E.J. Dionne.
As long as leaders won’t change, change is not likely to happen. Yet, in today’s world, change is not only the operative word, it’s the way of life. To paraphrase Darren Hardy, publisher of Success magazine, the change that took 100 years to happen up to now will happen in a much shorter time frame.
It’s happening so fast that it’s difficult to keep up with.
It will take leaders – and others – to make it happen. The old-style leader who got where he wanted, then fought to keep the status quo, no matter how anyone else was affected, will have to change. The new breed of leader will be concerned with others first. He will want to give and serve.
You see, if he gives and serves, he will get plenty. One never knows who the next innovator is. It could be someone right under a leader’s organization. To allow that person to excel to the best of his ability is a sign of true leadership. If a leader provides the right atmosphere for innovation and success for others, those innovators will likely forever be aligned to him.
LEADERS RELISH HAVING MORE SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE UNDER THEM
The new leaders will aspire to have good, innovative and successful people with him, and will want to reward them accordingly. The new breed of leader relishes having people even more successful than he in his organization.
He will want to serve and help those people to the best of his ability. He will give them all the credit for their accomplishments. He will create an atmosphere in which the best innovators can flourish and thrive.
Are you a new breed of leader? Do you want people like you in your organization? Do you want to build such an organization? You don’t have to be in a company. You don’t have to shell out big bucks for a franchise. You just have to be willing to look at one of the many opportunities that are out there for the entrepreneur.
For one of the best such opportunities, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau . The potential for any leader is huge. All you have to do is find a few people like you that want to join with you. You help them succeed. They help you in return. And those who introduced you to the idea will help you, help them.
There’s no greater win-win than people helping people be successful, and have a great time doing it. No boss-worker hierarchy. No one person giving orders to the other. No one person succeeding, off the backs of others. People helping people succeed.
Mayor Castro has it right that we need leaders with conscience. But, more than that, we need leaders who WANT others to succeed, and will help them to do it. We want leaders who don’t just graciously allow their workers to be photographed with them. We want leaders who are honored to be photographed with those they are trying to help.
Peter
DREAMS MAKE SENSE OF CONTRADICTORY ADVICE
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Out of sight, out of mind.
Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results. Yet, you keep hearing the phrase “Don’t Quit!”
The world is full of contradictory advice. But, in these contrarian times, we can find wisdom in all of them.
Absence from someone you love does make the heart grow fonder. Of course, you’d much rather be with that person, but when you are apart, all you can think of is how great it will be when you are reunited.
Out of sight, out of mind, applies more to things. Have you ever cleaned out a drawer and found something you either didn’t realize you had, or had forgotten that you had? There are many things in this world that you will forget if you don’t see them all the time.
That brings us to Einstein and his wisdom. He was trying to say that if you keep doing something (pick one: stupid, senseless, futile) and you don’t see things changing for the better, you might be going insane. The same goes with certain jobs. You do them over and over for a paycheck, but that is your only result – forever. Now, it may be a good paycheck, and you may see slight increases over time, but if you think you are going to change life for the better, chances are you won’t. That paycheck may make you a living, but it may not give you the life you want.
Here’s the key: doing the RIGHT things over and over again, will give you different, better results. If you are doing the RIGHT things over and over, they will change your life. Even the right LITTLE things, as Success magazine Publisher Darren Hardy preaches in his book, “The Compound Effect,” will change your life if you keep doing them.
If you are doing the RIGHT, LITTLE things, don’t quit.
DREAMS TURN COMFORT ON ITS EAR
We as people crave routine. A routine creates a comfort zone. Comfort yields contentment, until contentment digs us into a rut. We may not know we are in a rut, or we may know acutely that we are in a rut. Ruts can be comfortable.
But when you have dreams, ruts become something to do everything you can to escape. Dreams take comfort and turn it on its ear, if they are powerful enough. The difference between a wish and a dream is that a wish may be pure fantasy. You may never expect it to come true, but, still, wishing can be a nice diversion to reality if you hate your reality.
Dreams are achievable. They become more so as we watch other people who have what we dream about. We want to know what those people did to achieve their dreams, and we want to emulate them. Often, we can just DUPLICATE what someone else did, and achieve our dream. It’s not that others are better than we are, they just did things we haven’t done yet. As the saying goes, “do today what others won’t, so you can do tomorrow what others can’t.”
Do you have dreams? Do you believe deep inside that you can achieve them, if you only had the opportunity, or were given the appropriate vehicle that you could drive to your dreams? If you have a dream, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. That may be the best vehicle among many to get you to your dreams.
If you are now a long way from your dreams, make those dreams grow fonder. Always keep them in sight, therefore always in mind. Write down your dreams and put them where you can always see them.
Keep doing the little things that will get you to your dreams. Others may think you are insane, but so be it. Most of all, if you know what you have is good and your dreams are always in sight, don’t quit!
Peter