Today is a day to focus on what is good in your life.
Happy Thanksgiving!
No matter your circumstances, there is much good for which to be thankful. Today, we should think about what we have, not what we don’t have.
Particularly in the last decade, we’ve read about, and heard about, a lot of bad things. Many of us have been personally affected by those things. It’s the media’s job to discuss what divides us. It is our job to focus on what unites us.
In the last few years, we saw housing prices plummet. We saw many lose their homes. Though a good many of us have not yet recovered from that, statistics are showing a rise in home prices and home construction. Home sales may be leveling off a bit, but the recent trend has been positive.
That many be of little comfort to those still struggling. But no matter your circumstances, you likely have much for which to be thankful.
If you enjoy a good, special meal today, remember that many others may not. If you are enjoying that meal with others, remember that many others may be alone.
Yes, today, Nov. 28, 2013, is a day to focus on what is good in your life. It’s a day to focus on what you have, not what you don’t have.
It is also a day to think about what YOU are going to do about the circumstantial breakdowns in your life. Those breakdowns may have been beyond your control, but how you repair them is entirely in your control. You have to plan what will come next in your life, then do it.
Your next step may be outside your comfort zone. That’s OK. Do it anyway. Do it afraid, if you must.
If you are looking for a tool that may help you repair any circumstantial breakdowns, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You may look at this tool with some fear, but if your circumstances need fixing, fix them afraid.
Today we focus on what we have — and can have — not what we don’t have. Today, no matter our circumstances, we have much good in our lives.
Be grateful for those, and confident you can fix the circumstances that need repair.
Be grateful, optimistic and fix them afraid.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Peter
Tag Archives: optimism
BE AND STAY POSITIVE
John Maxwell is always a positive person.
It’s his strength, but positive people, who look for the best in everyone, sometimes get burned.
Maxwell, an author and leadership expert, discusses this in his book, “The 5 Levels of Leadership.”
Maxwell believes that it’s better to be always positive, and get burned once in a while, than to be negative and skeptical, and never take risks or think big.
The world is very different today, from decades ago. Almost everything we do involves taking a risk.
Let’s say you are working at your job, and see something you think could improve the operation. Let’s say you could act on it right then. Would you do it? Or, would you wait, talk to your boss about it and let HIM decide whether it should be done.
Of course, the latter is the safe course of action. After all, it’s not your company. You just work there. You just do what you’re told. You also might think that even if your boss agrees with you, that those above him may not. Your boss, fearful of his job and career, will pass any heat down to you, even if you tell the bigger bosses that you’d discussed this ahead of time.
The more productive companies will applaud your initiative. If your boss passes the heat down to you, why not just take the risk and claim all the credit. Your boss may be angry with you that you didn’t let him in on what you were doing, but so be it. A good boss will applaud you for taking the initiative, and bask in the credit because he hired you and molded a great employee.
Focusing on the positive also requires optimism. Remember that very few pessimists really succeed. They may climb a little, but pessimism gets in the way of being creative and innovative.
How can you tell that a person is positive, or how can you learn to be positive?
When you ask the question, “how are you,” what is the typical answer? If you hear, “I’m OK,” or “I’m getting by,” or “I’m here,” or “I’m on the right side of the dirt,” chances are these folks are not positive.
Positive people will usually respond with, “I’m great, how are you?” or, “I’m blessed, how are you?” You see, positive people are grateful for every day. They are grateful for everything good in their lives. And, positive people sincerely want to know how YOU are doing.
Positive people believe that the best years of their lives are ahead of them, no matter what. They don’t long for the past. Usually, they don’t fight for the status quo, unless their lives are exactly where they want them to be. There are few positive people who don’t see even greater things in the future.
The less positive will wax nostalgic about how things used to be. They will fight losing battles, trying to get back to those days. They will work very hard to resist change. They go home after some misfortune and wonder what might have been.
All of that wastes energy and keeps them from doing what they need to do to improve their future. Whereas, a positive person will work WITH change and embrace it. He knows that no matter what happens, he will do what he needs to do to make his future bright, and fulfill his dreams.
If you are a positive person, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. See what other positive people are doing to fulfill their dreams.
Also remember the best thing that you can do to stay positive is to hang around with other positive people. Don’t let the dream stealers get you down!
Peter
OPTIMISM BREEDS SUCCESS
Imagine being a pessimist and being a leader.
How can you lead people, or yourself, to success if failure is always in view.
That isn’t to say that leaders might not be realistic, but it would be difficult to find success if you never can see it.
Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performace at Austin Peay State University, uses the example of Diana Nyad, who swam from Cuba to Florida in September 2013, after several tries. Nyad had been trying to complete the swim since 1978. She faced obstacles like stinging jellyfish and other occurrences, but on her fifth try, everything was finally in place to ward off failure and she completed the swim.
Steinberg wrote about Nyad and optimism in the Sept. 29,2013, edition of the Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
He says that even people who are natural pessimists can succeed by changing their view of failure. He talks about the TUF strategy, in which failure is viewed as temporary, unique and flexible. He says people who long for success must have internal dialogue that describes failure as TUF. It’s temporary, meaning today was not the day. Tomorrow we have another chance. Unique, because each situation is unique and a better situation will arise tomorrow. Today’s attempt was a strikeout, but there’s another turn at bat tomorrow. People talk within themselves about flexibility, because one or two tweaks in strategy may change the results.
All successful people have known failure. They’ve come to accept it as part of the journey. But they are always optimistic that failure today could become success tomorrow.
In recent years, it seems many of us are surrounded by failure. A good job may be gone. Our mortgage debt may have turned from manageable to underwater, with no action by us. The idea of getting a job, or working for a company for life has all but disappeared.
We see previous generations, now retired, who’ve never experienced this. They may or may not be able to help us. It’s not that we’re lazy. It’s just that our comfort zone has gotten very prickly.
What to do? First, as Steinberg suggests, maintain your optimism. If that’s not natural for you, try to change the inner dialogue you have with yourself. Sure, optimism isn’t going to give you a paycheck tomorrow, and it may not cover your underwater mortgage, but it will help you believe that there is something better out there awaiting you.
It may be a great job that you had never envisioned doing. It may be that person you had just met, who will become meaningful in your life. It may be something totally unexpected. But if you never believe good things will come, they may show up and you won’t recognize them. Your ship may come in, but if you don’t see it, you’ll miss the boat.
You also have to look at things that may be outside your comfort zone. For one such thing, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. It may not be your ship, but you won’t know unless you go to the dock to check it out.
Regardless, optimism and a positive attitude is the one thing you can do for yourself, despite your circumstances. Look at your life so far, and see where you are. Take stock about what’s good in your life. Be thankful for those blessings. Then, see about fixing what’s wrong. You may need some help, but don’t EXPECT help. Ships will come and go, but check out every one. A certain one may have your ticket to success.
Stay focused and positive. Be optimistic. Remember, employers are looking for people who have a genuinely good outlook on life. That may be the key to you landing that great opportunity.
Be optimistic that your ship is waiting.
Peter
THE BEST IS YET TO COME
“The best is yet to come and babe, won’t it be fine.” (from the song by Cy Coleman and Carolyn Leigh, recorded by Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett).
Jones — just Jones, no Mr. – is an old man who thrives on helping people see that the future is always bright – no matter one’s current circumstance.
Jones is the lead character in Andy Andrews’ book, “The Noticer,” which professional golfer Nancy Lopez called the greatest book she’s ever read.
Jones has a gift for noticing things, he says. He also has a gift for showing up in people’s lives to give them perspective on a problem – at the exact time they need it.
He is spiritual, yet practical. But mostly, he is ALWAYS optimistic that everyone will have a great future, no matter his age, or current troubles.
We probably all have a Jones character in our lives. It might be a friend, family member coworker, colleague or someone we’d just met. We may not even be able to identify that person off the top of our heads – but he or she is there. All we have to do is listen to him, and follow his advice.
We’ve all heard the saying that when God closes a door, he opens a window. We just have to recognize where the window is and go through it.
The last five years or so have been difficult for lots of people. There’s been much wailing and gnashing of teeth about what caused it, who’s to blame and what magic bullet is going to make things right again.
We are starting to see things get better, but too many people are still down. They may feel it to be the worst time in their lives. But as Andrews’ character points out, what seems to be the worst time in your life may lead you to the best time of your life. The secret to success, according to Jones: have people want to be around you.
Not a “people” person? Become one. No one has to undergo a radical personality change, but just try to see yourself from others’ perspective. What would THEY change about you, if they could, as Jones puts it.
Don’t know a lot of people? Start with the ones you do know. Make sure THEY want to be around you. Depending on how well you know them, you might ask them what they would change about you, if they could. Once you get the people you know to want to be around you, then you can work on those you don’t yet know. Believe it or not, it takes some effort to have people want to be around you.
Got people around you who are always negative, always saying, “Woe is me?” You might have to change the people around you, to paraphrase a popular adage, if the people already around you won’t change.
Be fun, but be good. Do the right thing, even when no one is looking. You see, good people don’t have to act, or put on a show. They are good to the core, naturally.
You don’t have to be a social butterfly. But be a good inviter. Invite people to coffee, lunch, dinner or whatever.
As you do this, you might, if you don’t have something already, have something to show them when you invite them. It needs to be something of which they can choose to partake – or not. Good inviters take no for an answer. If you don’t have something to show, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You might find the best thing you’ve never heard of. And, you might want to show it to the world.
You also may find your Jones – or at least some perspective on your life that you’d not seen yet. Regardless, just know, as Jones says in Andrews’ book, that the past is not what you should focus on. The present may not be pleasant, but, no matter your age, the best is yet to come.
Peter
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA
“The good old days weren’t always good. Tomorrow ain’t as bad as it seems.” Billy Joel, from “Keepping the Faith.”
…
We just celebrated July 4 and America, though not yet perfect, is better off than it was decades ago.
How do we know? The numbers bear it out.
In his July 3, 2013, column, Jay Bookman of The Atlanta Journal-Constitution quotes these figures: the U.S. murder rate has fallen by more than half in the last two decades, from 9.8 murders per 100,000 residents in 1991 to 4.8 per 100,000 in 2010, according to the FBI’s Uniform Crime Report. The Georgia murder rate is down from 9.5 per 100,000 in 1996 to 5.6 in 2011.
The national high school graduation rate is almost 75 percent, according to Education Week. That’s the highest rate in 40 years and up eight percentage points just in the last decade. Latino graduation rates are up 16 points in that time frame; black graduation rates are up 13 points.
Who wouldn’t want a less violent, better educated society? As Bookman says, there’s a whole education industry whose profits depend on “failing” public schools. Though our schools may not be where we’d like, they appear to be getting better.
Though people have very different viewpoints, even the most criticized institutions appear to be accomplishing something. There is reason for everyone, no matter your point of view, to be optimistic.
Bookman says the “America’s Going to Hell” crowd will find fault with these numbers, but the rational among us will pay them no mind. America is looking pretty good for 237 years old.
What will it look like in 10 years? Or 20 years? We know that things are changing more rapidly than they ever have. We know that some jobs of decades past are gone forever. We know that technological advances are making things obsolete the minute after we buy them.
How do we navigate this new world? We become good people. How do we do that? By helping others and thinking of others first and self second. We do it by being friendly, upbeat and optimistic. Before you say, “woe is me,” say, whoa! Then say, all in all, I have it darned good.
Next to Bookman’s column was one by Mona Charen , who is glad she lives in America instead of living in the many places in which people are taking to the streets to protest their standard of living. Egypt, Brazil and Turkey come to her mind.
Yes, there was much to celebrate this July 4. But, there is more to go.
If you are at a crossroads in your life – not yet sure what the future will bring, or what you can do about it, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You might have to think differently from what you are used to thinking, but it could be just the thing to set you on a path to wealth, personal growth and, yes, fun!
As things change, we often need to change as people. By all accounts, employers are looking for good people despite the high unemployment rate. Companies hire and lay off at the same time. They are not necessarily cutting for the sake of cuts, they may be transforming their culture. If you are interviewing for jobs, be yourself, but be upbeat about yourself and the situation you are looking at. Show your prospective employer that you can be innovative within his system. Show him not only that you are right for the job, you are right for the culture.
Employers want to know what you want to do, not just what you’ve done. Be creative. Show the employer you can be transformative. It may take practice for some to be themselves AND optimistic. If you have trouble being optimistic, remember Billy Joel’s lyric above. If tomorrow seems bad to you, look at figures Bookman quoted, and the goings-on in other countries that Charen cites.
Give natural optimism a go. You could be going places you never thought you’d see.
Peter