#power #”WomenTalking” #Oscars #ReligiousRestrictions #dreams #action
Imagine life in a religious enclave, in which men had total domination over women.
It got to the point that some men were physically attacking the women at will.
That is the premise behind the movie “Women Talking,” which won at 2023 Oscar for best adapted screenplay.
The movie is set in decades past in a village of deeply religious people. Even though the women were regularly attacked by men, they held fast to their religious beliefs. (One has to wonder about the attacking men’s religious beliefs).
As the attacks mounted, the women had to decide to stay and do nothing, stay and fight or leave. Many meetings and raucous debates ensued.
Ultimately, after much discussion, they left, with all the horses, wagons, livestock, food and other supplies, as the men slept.
The movie never shows how the men reacted when they woke up and found the women gone.
It may be hard to envision that scenario in modern times. But, pockets of such behavior undoubtedly exist today.
It begs the question: why was it such a difficult decision for the women to leave?
In the movie, part of the debate centered around their religious beliefs. Their village was the only life they knew, and they wondered whether they would ever go to heaven if they left. But they came around to realize that for a good life on earth, they had to go.
Have you ever been in a situation that you felt it difficult to escape, but also impossible to endure?
Life sometimes puts difficult decisions in our path. Sometimes, our difficulty in making a decision involves, as was the case in the movie, self imposed limitations.
We grow up in a certain household, with certain beliefs engrained in us. As we mature, we start to see that what we were told was, if not false, not realistic for our own purposes.
That may be why some parents encourage their kids to stay close to home. For if they venture out, they may discover other ways of life and adopt, if not embrace, them. They may even discover that they are not who their parents think they are.
Maturity brings a sense of self. One has to find that, and do what one needs to do to fulfill it.
If one endures hardship, he or she must find ways to eliminate it, or, at least, put a limit on what he or she has to endure. Some hardships may have good outcomes in the end, and one has to have the grit to take them on.
Your difficulties may not be as obvious as the ones faced by the women in the movie.
And, often, one may not have a way to avoid hardship befalling them. But, one always can find a way to eliminate, or at least mitigate, that hardship eventually.
It starts with discarding self-imposed restrictions that make very little sense as they relate to the hardship.
Then, one has to dream of what life could be. Once that dream is in place, figure out what you must do to achieve that dream.
Yes, it may involve taking drastic action – doing something you thought you would never do. You may be surprised that, once you take drastic action, it wasn’t hard to do as you thought. The women’s decision to leave in the movie was hard for them, but once they decided to go, they knew it was right for them.
In short, know who you are and remain true to yourself. Eliminate self-doubt and self-imposed restrictions on achieving what is right for you. If where you live is incompatible with life and safety, decide whether moving or fighting obstacles others impose on you is better for you. If moving seems a hard choice, try it and see how hard, or better, it will be.
Don’t let others claim power over you.
Peter
Tag Archives: action
VIRTUE OF BEING NICE
#BeNice #kindness #performance #credit #action
Perhaps your mother told you as a child, when you did something she didn’t like, “that’s not nice.”
In the current movie “Banshees of Inisherin,” we learn that ending a long friendship is “not nice.”
As you grew older, you may have learned that “nice guys finish last.” Some confusion may have set in, because mom taught you to “be nice,” but, by being nice, you won’t win.
As years went on, you may have learned that kindness is a virtue, to the point that you were inclined to perform random acts of kindness. Perhaps, these random acts were not witnessed by anyone, except you, and the person to whom you were kind. That recipient was the only one that mattered in that instance.
Later, you learned that character was built by doing good things, even when no one is watching. In other words, you were DOING rather than performing. It may have made you feel good, but you got no “credit” for it.
In today’s world, for many, it’s ALL about performance and credit. They even try to make bad actions look good to an audience, thereby getting “credit” for it.
This milieu might make it a good time to relearn, perhaps through “Banshees,” the virtue of being nice.
It is indeed possible to create a persona in yourself that is both nice and winning. In fact, such a persona is a foundation for success in whatever endeavor one chooses.
If you own a business and people work for you, those who are “nice” to their employees tend to get more out of them.
Unfortunately, some who own or manage businesses are nice to customers, because they have to be, but are not so nice to their workers. In this labor market, such people may be chronically short-staffed.
Also, today, many long friendships and relationships have become strained for various reasons, including the hardness of opinions and the growing willingness to avoid those who have certain views.
Such willingness can manifest itself in many toxic, even violent, ways. Not nice at all.
When one gets to that point, he or she may need to not necessarily change his or her opinions, but craft a persona that allows him or her to be “nice,” even to those with whom he or she disagrees.
One way to do that is to avoid inflammatory conversation topics. Another way is to enjoy what you both enjoy.
So, in a complex world, a combination of niceness, enthusiasm and drive can help lead one toward success.
In the past, it’s has been said that one does not have to like you, he or she just has to respect you. One who realizes that respect is earned, not demanded, will be the more successful. One may earn such respect by simply being nice.
One has to wonder when niceness became so unnecessary. For many, niceness comes naturally, no matter what happens to them. Others, who may have been jaded by some event or circumstance, may have lost their niceness.
Be nice. Work hard. Don’t step over others, as that may taint your success. Real success is achieved not at the expense of others, but with the help of many others.
Peter
ARE YOU ‘LETTING THE GAME COME TO YOU?’
#sports #sportscasters #games #athletes #winning #winners
Often, sportscasters will say, when referring to a star player on a team, “He (she) let the game come to him (her).”
This statement can baffle, because it implies the star player sat back and became a star because the game just came to him (her).
Another popular commentary: “He (she) played within himself (herself).”
This also baffles. Why would someone play “within himself” (herself) when he (she) needs the whole team to win?
First, star players, or any players, on a team need to act. They need to do things, or make things happen, to win.
If they win, they generally don’t sit back and let circumstances dictate their behavior. Certainly, circumstances can cause them to alter their behavior – a missed shot may lead them to take another shot, for example. But they don’t passively sit back, or run up and down the field or court, and “let the game come to them.”
In short, these commentaries imply passivity among star performers, and they don’t become stars by being passive.
Perhaps the commentators meant to say that the game produced certain situations, and the star did something to either enhance those circumstances – things happen in the team’s favor – or alter them – things happen to benefit the other team.
As for playing within oneself, a star doesn’t just give what he (she) believes he (she) can, he (she) usually gives that and more. In other words, if his (her) body is telling him (her) that he’s (she’s) given all he (she) can, a player perceived to be a star always looks for more to give.
So let’s beg the question: are you just letting things come to you? Are you just playing “within yourself,” thinking there is only so much you can do to help yourself?
If so, you’ll get what comes to you. You’ll only achieve what you believe you can achieve.
But, if you prefer to aim for stardom, you will reach for more.
Commentators, or those watching you, like to confine you into something they perceive for you,
Your parents, or other elders, love to map out your life from an early age. Yes, more often than not, they urge you to settle for what life, i.e. your employer, gives you. They urge you not to stray from the person they hope for you to be.
But, as you get out into the world and start to rethink what you’ve been taught, you may want to go after something your elders, or even you, never envisioned you would do. When you do that, you feel a certain sense of challenge or adventure.
If whatever game you are in is “coming to you,” and you don’t like it or feel you can do more, there are programs out there that allow you explore things you may not have ever thought you would do. And, these programs can let you become a star, financially and otherwise.
As a bonus, you need no specific education, experience or background to become such a star. You need an open mind and a willingness to be coached.
To learn about one of the best such programs, message me.
In short, letting the game of life come to you generally does not produce success. You have to actively go after what you want – and do everything possible — to help your team win. Sometimes, that means not playing “within yourself” and jumping out of your comfort zone.
So, play on. Strive. Thrive. It’s up to you to make things happen.
Peter