#bullies #leaders #YoungMen #followers
We usually don’t teach boys or girls to be bullies.
Some of them turn out that way, but how they became such can be very complicated – or simple, depending on the person.
Bullies like to think they are strong. They like to pick on people they perceive as weaker than they.
Bullies are not usually as smart as the people they are bullying. Perhaps they are jealous of that.
Bullies think of themselves as leaders. But, they don’t realize that real leaders don’t bully others.
So, if we don’t teach kids to be bullies, how do they become bullies?
In some cases, there is deep-seeded psychological resentment of something or someone.
In other cases, they have been rejected by institutions or people that once meant a great deal to them.
Different folks become bullies to make them feel superior to others.
In today’s world, young men have felt rejected because they perceive they were discriminated against because they were men. Or, they have lost good jobs or opportunities and can find nothing to adequately replace what they have lost.
A bully may give these young men false promises of restoring what was good in their world.
A bully may lead these young men to think that under the right circumstances, they can take back what was rightfully theirs.
The big question becomes: what if the bully disappoints?
Will those who followed him (or her) fight back against the bully?
Will they keep the faith that the bully WILL keep his or her promises eventually?
Bullies only like to win, no matter what. Leaders like to achieve things to benefit others.
Leaders believe that the more they do for others, the more they will get back.
A bully will only use others to get what he or she wants.
It’s important, when looking for leadership, not to get co-opted by a bully.
It’s important to recognize the difference between a leader and a bully.
It’s most important to recognize the difference, lest you become the undesired alternative.
Once you learn the difference, it may be easier for you to fight back. Bullies hate people who will fight back.
Leaders admire those who fight for what they truly believe in, so they can help people get what they really want.
In short, recognize a bully, or a leader, when you encounter one. Learn to resist the former and emulate the latter.
Don’t confuse a bully perch with a bully pulpit.
Peter
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Tag Archives: young men
BEING YOUNG IS NOT WHAT IT USED TO BE
#YoungMen #YoungPeople #women #minorities #AdaptingToChange #DifferencesInIncome
It’s tough to be young today.
It’s even tougher, it seems, to be a young man.
As a man, you were always taught to be a provider for your family. At the same time, there was a building movement to advance women and minorities in the work force.
Over time, young women became more educated than young men, in aggregate numbers.
As a young man with less education, your options became more limited. The strong-back, laborious jobs that once paid pretty well, were not paying well at all. On top of that, many of those jobs were being eliminated altogether because of technology.
Did it bother you, as a young man, that a woman that you might like to be with was better educated, and perhaps making more money than you? How can you “provide” for her?
Worse yet, would that well-educated woman you like even give you the time of day, because you are not as educated, and not making as much as she is?
First, the advancement of women and minorities in the work force has been a GOOD thing.
Before that, women, who were not necessarily guaranteed to find a “provider,” could not necessarily live on their own without help.
They were pigeon-holed into certain job categories with little opportunity for advancement. They were secretaries, teachers, nurses etc. Those are noble professions, to be sure, but moving up in those careers can be difficult.
If you were a woman who was able to find someone to provide for you, you may have gotten married and had children, which presented a whole new set of work-force challenges for you.
Now, the pendulum has swung a bit in the other direction, and young men, particularly those who did not go to college, are left with limited career options.
Even some with a good education may not be able to find a job that would make that education pay off. To complicate that, if you borrowed money to go to college, you may have debt that will keep you from advancing in life.
Moving back with mom and dad should only be a temporary solution. But, for more and more young men in particular, there is no other way to make it at the moment.
Apartments in New York City are going for $6,000 a month, yet are still being gobbled up. Young people have to find roommates to make it work, and, even then, they are still paying more than the 30 percent of their income that should go to housing.
Note here that certain places are more expensive to live in than others because they are more desirable. A young person on his or her own would rather be nearer a big city than a rural town, if only for the social life options.
Yes, it’s difficult to be young today, but resorting to vices – drugs, alcohol etc. – to ease your troubles is not the answer.
You may have to look harder for opportunities, but they are there. You may have to relocate to find them, but they are out there. So many employers are looking for good, hard workers. Many of them are willing to pay for the right people.
There are more opportunities to come as technology improves. (Warning: if you are in a job that will be eliminated by technology eventually, prepare for that now.)
You can’t stop the world from changing. You can’t go back to the way things were decades ago. You just have to find ways to adapt to the here and now. If you do, life, eventually, will treat you well.
Peter
It’s tough to be young today.
It’s even tougher, it seems, to be a young man.
As a man, you were always taught to be a provider for your family. At the same time, there was a building movement to advance women and minorities in the work force.
Over time, young women became more educated than young men, in aggregate numbers.
As a young man with less education, your options became more limited. The strong-back, laborious jobs that once paid pretty well, were not paying well at all. On top of that, many of those jobs were being eliminated altogether because of technology.
Did it bother you, as a young man, that a woman that you might like to be with was better educated, and perhaps making more money than you? How can you “provide” for her?
Worse yet, would that well-educated woman you like even give you the time of day, because you are not as educated, and not making as much as she is?
First, the advancement of women and minorities in the work force has been a GOOD thing.
Before that, women, who were not necessarily guaranteed to find a “provider,” could not necessarily live on their own without help.
They were pigeon-holed into certain job categories with little opportunity for advancement. They were secretaries, teachers, nurses etc. Those are noble professions, to be sure, but moving up in those careers can be difficult.
If you were a woman who was able to find someone to provide for you, you may have gotten married and had children, which presented a whole new set of work-force challenges for you.
Now, the pendulum has swung a bit in the other direction, and young men, particularly those who did not go to college, are left with limited career options.
Even some with a good education may not be able to find a job that would make that education pay off. To complicate that, if you borrowed money to go to college, you may have debt that will keep you from advancing in life.
Moving back with mom and dad should only be a temporary solution. But, for more and more young men in particular, there is no other way to make it at the moment.
Apartments in New York City are going for $6,000 a month, yet are still being gobbled up. Young people have to find roommates to make it work, and, even then, they are still paying more than the 30 percent of their income that should go to housing.
Note here that certain places are more expensive to live in than others because they are more desirable. A young person on his or her own would rather be nearer a big city than a rural town, if only for the social life options.
Yes, it’s difficult to be young today, but resorting to vices – drugs, alcohol etc. – to ease your troubles is not the answer.
You may have to look harder for opportunities, but they are there. You may have to relocate to find them, but they are out there. So many employers are looking for good, hard workers. Many of them are willing to pay for the right people.
There are more opportunities to come as technology improves. (Warning: if you are in a job that will be eliminated by technology eventually, prepare for that now.)
You can’t stop the world from changing. You can’t go back to the way things were decades ago. You just have to find ways to adapt to the here and now. If you do, life, eventually, will treat you well.
Peter