Trust must be earned. It can’t be ordered.
Therefore, trust is valuable.
If you’ve earned the trust of others, they will do what you want them to, and they expect you to have their backs.
As you earn trust, don’t lose it. It could cost you dearly.
Rory Vaden, a self-discipline strategist and speaker, as well as co-founder of Southwestern Consulting, lists seven ways to lose trust. They are: be selfish, be protective (of your turf), be ungrateful, be self-centered, be passive-aggressive, be negative and be incongruent.
Vaden talked about these trust busters in a Sept. 8, 2013, column in the Tennessean newspaper of Nashville.
People generally trust positive, upbeat people. Sure, we all occasionally meet phonies who fein a positive attitude, but turn out to be snakes in the grass. But most of us can spot those folks easily, before too much trust has been established. We react differently to those who are genuninely positive.
People who are genuinely positive, even under difficult circumstances, also tend not to be selfish. They tend to be grateful for anything anyone does for them. They tend to think of others first, and that generally separates them from the phonies.
They tend to be private people, but not secretive. They tend not to protect their own turf at any cost. They tend to do what they say and say what they mean all the time. They would not even think about being devious, unless it’s all in fun, as in surprising one’s spouse on a birthday.
Sometimes it’s difficult to trust, especially when someone you’d trusted violates the trust. In that case, don’t presume EVERYONE will violate your trust, and give the person who has violated trust sufficent time to earn it back. Many marriages that could have been saved dissolve because one spouse’s trust was violated, and the other spouse is never given a chance to earn it back. The rule here might be that one violation of trust is not insurmountable. Trust can be earned back. Multiple violations of trust may do you in.
In marriage, not only is it virtuous to be trustworthy with your spouse, but more convenient. It has to be really difficult keeping a false story straight every time, day in and day out. Eventually, if you try to do that, you’ll slip up and get caught. If you are trustworthy, period, your spouse always knows everything, and everything he or she knows about you is true.
One’s trust should be given with care, but still given. Never trusting anyone will lead a person to a pretty miserable life. It’s OK to trust. It’s also OK to, as former U.S. President Ronald Reagan once put it, to verify, if there is any question.
You’ve heard that if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Sometimes, we have good things come into our lives, yet we don’t trust that they are true, or they will do what they say they will do.
If you are looking to improve your life, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You can trust that everything you read, hear and see there is true.
Trusting, and being trustworthy will also improve your life. Trust is valuable to give and valuable to receive. Do both with care.
Peter
Tag Archives: Nashville
GOOD HELP IS HARD TO FIND, KEEP
One would think that with still-too-high unemployment, people would be afraid to change jobs.
And, one would think that even if an employee moved on, he or she could be easily replaced.
Yet, companies today talk about the difficulty retaining good employees.
Those companies are putting in nice extras in the workplace to make it a place people want to work.
Lance Williams, business editor for The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville, says seven out of 10 American workers admit they are “checked out” at work or they are “actively disengaged” on the job. Williams also says that out of 100 or so Americans on the job, about 30 are actually engaged or involved in, or enthusiastic about their jobs.
Williams wrote a about this in a June 30, 2013, column in The Tennessean.
That means that the “good” people in any organization are about 30 percent of the workforce. They are the ones employers want to retain. The odds are against the employer finding another good one to replace a good one who has left.
That same edition of The Tennessean spoke of “intrapreneurial” spirit, as Anita Bruzzese calls it, and finding purpose in everyday life to help your motivation soar, as Gregg Steinberg talked about. Both Bruzzese and Steinberg are authors and experts on the subject.
Bottom line: if you aren’t motivated at work, find something there that WILL motivate you. If you own a company or manage people, create an atmosphere at work that will motivate people. Employers like entrepreneurial types within their organizations. Before the word entrepreneur became in vogue, these folks were called self-starters. They didn’t require much direction from their bosses and figured out new and better ways to do things.
No one expects a job to be a vacation or a hobby. Everyone expects to work – even handle unpleasant chores. But if you are employed, you need to find some perks in your job – something other than a paycheck that motivates you to do well and enjoy your time there. Sometimes you have to create them. Sometimes, your boss needs to create them. But you can’t depend on the boss to make your work life a total kick.
If you are among those who are “checked out” at work, it will be noticed. If you don’t care, then no one else will care if you go. If you do care, it will be noticed. No one will want you to go, and other employers will want to steal you.
Companies can replace skill, but it’s more difficult to replace MOTIVATED skill. Every employer wants its staff to be motivated, and each must take action to help find that motivation. Otherwise, the few motivated ones will be gone and difficult to replace.
If you are a motivated person, but not working in the right place, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. It may be just the thing to keep you from “checking out” at work. It may be the thing that will help you find purpose in everyday life. It may be just the thing to be “intrapreneurial” with others.
To bosses: work on not just getting out the product, but getting the most out of your workers. To workers: if you have a good job, but don’t feel it is right for you, try to find something you can like. If you can’t, keep looking. There are good places to work.
You need to be working in a place that gives you more than money and benefits. You might even already be working there, but haven’t yet found your purpose.
Peter
FINDING GOOD IN EVERYONE
It takes all kinds to make a world, and those most successful people value everyone that helps them achieve success.
“When you make every client your favorite, you are bound to have a deeper connection with your clients, as well as have greater success,” says Gregg Steinberg, professor of human performance at Austin Peay State University and author of the Washington Post best seller “Full Throttle.”
“You will always have some clients whom you perceive as friendly and kindhearted.,” Steinberg said in a May 2013 column in The Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.
But, “”everyone’s business has a few clients that simply get on the nerves,” he added. Your dislike for that client will eventually show through, and affect your business, he said.
Let’s dig deeper into Steinberg’s idea. Everyone that we interact with has good and bad traits. We just have to focus on the good traits, and let the bad ones roll off our backs. By focusing on one’s bad traits, we waste energy. Dislike, even hate, takes energy. It doesn’t improve anything. It doesn’t move us forward.
If a person is vital to our lives, or our businesses, we have to manage our emotions about them. We have to focus our energy on appreciating the good they do, and not waste a lot of energy focusing on what they don’t do for us.
Any relationship is like that. One cannot be blind to the flaws of another, but one does not have to focus on it. Focusing on the positive not only improves chances of success in that relationship, it also creates less stress.
Sometimes we witness true evil. We can’t help but expend energy trying to combat that. Though motivational speaker Andy Andrews tells us to “sweat the small stuff,” sometimes the little things that a person does that annoy us might not be worth sweating. Andrews also advises us to “smile when we talk.” If we do that consistently, we will focus our energy on the positive traits of those we come in contact with. The nagging little annoyances won’t bother us so much.
Success is treating each (pick one: client, coworker, friend, acquaintance, neighbor) as if they are just right for you. Seeing and focusing on the positive in that person will be reciprocated. Perhaps you will make each other successful, which is ideal.
If you want to make everyone you interact with successful, but are not sure how to do that, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. This may be the vehicle you have been looking for not only for your own success, but also to help others succeed.
Helping others involves giving, but sometimes the best thing you can give a person is a way to help themselves and others.
The more you give in that regard, the more those to whom you give the opportunity will pass it on. The more everyone passes it on, ultimately, the more successful people become AND the more people become successful.
The more successful people there are, the better place the world becomes. The more successful anyone becomes, the less energy is wasted on little annoyances. But to get to that point, you first have to make the effort NOT to focus on what annoys you. Focus on what you see that is good, and continue to feed that.
In short, don’t let the little stings cripple you. That creature who stings produces the honey that you love. The more honey, the more success.
Peter
CORPORATE SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY
We’ve seen the corporate world evolve over time.
Years ago, making money was all that mattered.
Then, as the labor movement took hold, being a good employer was important.
Today, being a good corporate citizen has become critical to one’s reputation.
Business authors Archie Carroll and Ann Buckholtz define “corporate social responsibility” as “economic , legal, ethical and discretionary expectations that society has of organizations.”
As David Bohan, founder of Advertising, wrote in the Tennessean newspaper in May 2013, CSR must become part of a business plan, no matter the size of the business.
Companies must have a strong bottom line, but cannot get greedy. They must treat their employees, shareholders and customers well. They must show their communities at large that they are givers. They must act responsibly in everything they do.
To paraphrase S. Truett Cathy, founder of the Chik-fil-A sandwich chain: earn your money honestly, spend it wisely and give the rest of it away.
You earn your money honestly not just by avoiding illegal activity, but also by treating others as you would want to be treated. If someone works for you, help them be successful and pay them what they deserve. Don’t just pay them as little as you can get away with. If someone buys from you, bend over backward to make sure they are satisfied. In fact, give them more than they pay for. Don’t try to deceive them with inferior products.
If someone invests with you, make sure you do everything in your power to make that investment pay off. Don’t “cook the books” to make the company look better than it is. Don’t make money for yourself while your investors are losing money.
In short, make sure those around you are successful FIRST, then let success come to you.
If you operate in a community, be it a locale, a professional organization or a general citizenry, make sure you are making that community a better place. As a corporate citizen, you have the resources to give your community much of what it needs. You are also responsible to make sure your products are not damaging or polluting that community.
If you do the right things, and do things right, you will profit. If you focus on helping others, others will help you. If your bottom line is about helping others, you should see a nice bottom line for yourself.
Think of others first, and others will think of you. It’s not how much you get that is important, it’s how much you give.
If these ideas resonate with you, visit www.bign.com/pbilodeau. You will learn how to help others in a big way, and reap rewards for your good deeds. As a corporate citizen, companies learn that selfless behavior ultimately yields the best results.
Peter
MONEY, TIME AND VALUE
Time is money.
But have you ever tried putting a value on your time?
Better yet, are you deliberate in how you spend your time?
Rory Vaden, a self-discipline consultant and co-founder of Southwestern Consulting, says very successful people are usually very intentional about how they spend their time.
Successful people understand the “money value of time,” as Vaden put it in an April 2013 column in The Tennessean newspaper of Nashville.
Average people waste a lot of time, and may not even know it.
They look for stuff. They sit in front of the television, not even caring what’s on.
Sometimes we waste time and hate it, such as standing in line, getting stuck in traffic etc. We hate it, yet we rationalize that we “have to do it” to get to something we want. — like show tickets, or getting home from work.
Vaden talks about how people are paid for time in the workplace. One hour of work equals your hourly wage. Everyone can calculate how much he or she gets paid for each hour worked. Yes, even “salaried” folks can figure out what they make per hour.
What’s more difficult for many is figuring out how best to spend each hour of the day. What return will a person get for time spent?
For many, if they analyze time spent, the return on investment may be pretty puny.
You may think television gives you pleasure, but if you spent some of your TV time doing something more productive or worthwhile, you can increase your return on your time investment.
What if you could work full time at your job, and part-time on your fortune? Would you be willing to give up some, say, TV time for a shot at firing your boss? Would you be willing to spend your time away from work on something that will help you grow as a person? If so, check out www.bign.com/pbilodeau. This may enlighten you on a better investment of your time.
Time should not all be about work. Time with family, friends or helping others brings tremendous return on investment. But try taking a week, divide it by hours, and see how you fill those hours. Then, figure the ROI for each hour. You might be surprised at the results. They just might make you a little more deliberate about how you spend each hour.
Rethinking how you spend your time may make you the success you want to be.
Peter