#MemorialDay #graduations #summer #vacation #recreation #happiness #sadness #anger
It’s Memorial Day, 2024.
It’s supposed to be a day we reserve to honor those who died serving our country, and many people in many places do just that.
It’s also the beginning of graduation season, when our friends and family end one journey, and, presumably, start another.
It’s also the unofficial start of summer, which signifies warm weather, good times, vacation and leisure. Or, if you are a student ending a school year, perhaps you are starting a summer job.
No matter your situation, Memorial Day often is seen as a start or an ending.
This begs a thought: what should I start, or what should I end?
The healthy thinking here is to look forward to many good things you can make happen.
Are you angry all the time, but can’t put your finger on why? Perhaps you should start new behavior that will end that feeling. There is so much good out there and so many reasons to be happy and optimistic. Perhaps you can start by looking forward to, say, jumping in a pool, lake or ocean for a good time.
That may begin to take your mind off what makes you angry.
Are you sad more often than you are happy? Why do you feel that way? It’s understandable, on Memorial Day, if you are mourning someone lost in battle. When one loses a loved one by any means, it is difficult, if not impossible, to get past.
In such a case, you have to think that your loved one is in a better place, even if he or she is not with you. Then, you have to focus on things that make YOU happy. As the trees and flowers are in full bloom, it’s often little things like that that begin to take the edge off sorrow.
In the past few years, life seems to have hit people harder than it ever has. Many people have lost good jobs, and can’t find a job that comes close to replacing what they have lost.
What hasn’t been lost, usually, is the motivation to succeed. As the world changes, we may have to put that motivation into something new.
The effects of the pandemic of a few years ago still linger. In fact, the disease is still around. Yet, we have found ways to deal with it, like vaccines, so that if it comes back to us, we are more likely to handle it better than we would have at the beginning.
Things are costing more, be they groceries, housing, cars etc. At the same time, in many cases, people are getting paid more. If you are getting paid more than you were a few years ago, it’s only logical that the things you buy are going to cost you more. So, ask yourself: is getting that raise worth paying a little more for groceries?
The cost of housing has been discussed in detail here, and there are no easy answers. Sometimes, to provide for oneself, one has to watch what he or she spends, and evaluate the importance of each of those purchases.
So, as you have a meaningful Memorial Day, think of the people or things that mean the most to you. Think of ways you can improve yourself, your life and pursue happiness. It’s not always easy, but it is definitely healthier to pursue happiness than to harbor anger and/or wallow in sadness.
Peter
Tag Archives: anger
ANGER IS AN EMOTION WE SHOULD USE SPARINGLY
#anger #emotions #FomentingAnger #media #MediaConsumption
We all get angry at some point.
If you are never angry, you may be totally emotionless.
But, if you are always angry, it can inhibit rational thinking, decision making and personal interactions.
In other words, anger is an emotion we should use sparingly.
If everything in the world makes you angry, you may be wise to step back and ask yourself, “why am I so mad at the world?”
Then ask, “what can I do to make the world better, not only for me, but also for others?”
Certain media are designed to make people perpetually angry, perhaps to the point of rage, and fearful, perhaps to the point of paranoia.
People who consume such media believe many things that are actually true are not, and some things that will never be true are indeed true.
Of course, they have no evidence to support these beliefs. Their media tell them that things they really don’t want to be true are not, even if they are. And, things they want to be true are, even if they are not.
Therefore, anger is often created by some sort of truth-mangling.
Still, reality and truth can make one angry. One may lose a job. One may lose a business. One may lose a spouse, or someone else close to him or her.
Just because these things are real doesn’t prevent the anger. But, anger over real things allows the angry person the opportunity to mitigate that anger.
That can be easier said than done, of course, but at least the person is dealing with something real. The anger, therefore, is rational.
But, when one is angry over something that isn’t real, the anger becomes irrational, even though the angry person feels real anger.
Some people have no idea why they are angry. They somehow feel put upon, but, presuming no influence from media, they find it difficult to explain, using real terms, why they are angry.
If the angry person is also a strong person, he or she can sit back, take a breath and figure out why they are angry.
Is all the emotion spent on anger worth the expended energy, stress and lack of well-being, that results?
Some, who may not be as strong may need help from friends, family or even professionals if necessary.
No, we don’t have to be “nice” every minute of every day. But, the more we make the effort to be “nice,” the better off we will be.
Sometimes, the solution may lie in getting back to basics, i.e., love thy neighbor as thyself.
Those that think of others first, rather than themselves, often are happier people. They know that thinking of others, and helping others, eventually brings personal joy and reward.
So, if one’s first instinct in any interaction is to get angry, take a pause and ask: is this anger rational? If you can find no reason for it to be rational, try to calm yourself. You may find a sense of relief that you do not often experience.
Peter
We all get angry at some point.
If you are never angry, you may be totally emotionless.
But, if you are always angry, it can inhibit rational thinking, decision making and personal interactions.
In other words, anger is an emotion we should use sparingly.
If everything in the world makes you angry, you may be wise to step back and ask yourself, “why am I so mad at the world?”
Then ask, “what can I do to make the world better, not only for me, but also for others?”
Certain media are designed to make people perpetually angry, perhaps to the point of rage, and fearful, perhaps to the point of paranoia.
People who consume such media believe many things that are actually true are not, and some things that will never be true are indeed true.
Of course, they have no evidence to support these beliefs. Their media tell them that things they really don’t want to be true are not, even if they are. And, things they want to be true are, even if they are not.
Therefore, anger is often created by some sort of truth-mangling.
Still, reality and truth can make one angry. One may lose a job. One may lose a business. One may lose a spouse, or someone else close to him or her.
Just because these things are real doesn’t prevent the anger. But, anger over real things allows the angry person the opportunity to mitigate that anger.
That can be easier said than done, of course, but at least the person is dealing with something real. The anger, therefore, is rational.
But, when one is angry over something that isn’t real, the anger becomes irrational, even though the angry person feels real anger.
Some people have no idea why they are angry. They somehow feel put upon, but, presuming no influence from media, they find it difficult to explain, using real terms, why they are angry.
If the angry person is also a strong person, he or she can sit back, take a breath and figure out why they are angry.
Is all the emotion spent on anger worth the expended energy, stress and lack of well-being, that results?
Some, who may not be as strong may need help from friends, family or even professionals if necessary.
No, we don’t have to be “nice” every minute of every day. But, the more we make the effort to be “nice,” the better off we will be.
Sometimes, the solution may lie in getting back to basics, i.e., love thy neighbor as thyself.
Those that think of others first, rather than themselves, often are happier people. They know that thinking of others, and helping others, eventually brings personal joy and reward.
So, if one’s first instinct in any interaction is to get angry, take a pause and ask: is this anger rational? If you can find no reason for it to be rational, try to calm yourself. You may find a sense of relief that you do not often experience.
Peter
USING ANGER TO GET VOTES
#anger #politics #votes #politicians #ideology
Today’s politics is not about doing things to make people happy.
For many, it’s more about making people angry.
It’s less about ideology, and a set of sincere beliefs, than about personal grievance.
It’s almost as if politician X is just trying to get you mad at, or just to not like, politician Y.
In the past, politicians of all ideologies and parties conducted themselves like ladies and gentlemen, pointing out clear differences in ideas with their opponents. But, they refrained from attacking their opponents as bad people.
Today, the ladies and gentlemen of the political world have suddenly become unlikeable, per the messages of their opponents.
To be clear, these messages, in many cases, are filled with untruths. It doesn’t matter what you say about politician X, as long as it makes him or her a bad person.
The civilized is devolving toward the uncivilized.
Until that stops – it won’t stop until those who use such tactics find they aren’t effective – civilization will continue to devolve.
The question becomes: do we really want that? Are we really so angry as individuals that we have to find something, or someone, to blame?
Certainly, for some people, circumstances have not treated them well. They have lost a job, they have lost a business, they have lost someone close to them etc.
Is the knee-jerk reaction to get revenge? For some, it is. For others, soul-searching, or necessity, helps them move on.
Here’s a rule of thumb: when something bad happens to you, stop. Think about what you are going to do next. Don’t let bad impulses take over. Those impulses can turn law-abiding citizens into non-law-abiding citizens.
We, as a people, are better than our raw impulses. We KNOW right from wrong. We KNOW impulses get us into trouble. We KNOW things happen for a reason. We KNOW that often, when a door closes, a window opens.
We may not see the goodness of ourselves instantly. But we should not fill that delay with seeing perceived badness in others.
Resisting impulsive behavior is much easier said than done. It requires work. It requires thought. It requires us, as necessary, to stop before we act.
Anger comes easily to many. Therefore, having goodness triumph over anger requires effort. It requires not seeking revenge, but seeking, and finding, what’s next.
Not every calamity or tragedy produces happy endings. But revenge only compounds bad results.
If two wrongs don’t make a right, two tragedies don’t make a desirable solution.
It’s often said that success in life requires action, and it does. But when terrible circumstances hit us, a pause before action may be needed. Thinking before leaping may get you over a hurdle faster, and more smoothly.
We all get angry. Those who turn that anger into a positive effort will be rewarded handsomely. Those who vent first, and think later, will be punished.
Peter
RUDENESS ON THE RISE; WHY ARE FOLKS SO ANGRY?
#rudeness #anger #frustration #incivility #abuse
The sign said: “Attention! Our employees have the right to be treated with dignity and respect at all times. They should be able to do their jobs without being physically or verbally abused. Most people respect this. Thank you for being one of them.”
That sign was displayed at an office at Piedmont Hospital in Atlanta. Nedra Rhone, “Real Life” columnist for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, saw that sign at a routine medical appointment. She’d never seen such a sign before.
It prompted her to discuss general rudeness in a column published June 8, 2023. She quotes Christine Porath, who has studied incivility for more than 20 years.
“This kind of incivility leads to negative outcomes not only for workers who experience it directly, but also those who witness it – all of which harms businesses and society,” Rhone quotes Porath’s Harvard Business Review article.
Porath found that 76 percent of respondents in 25 industries across the globe say they’ve experienced incivility at least once a month. Those levels have risen since 2012, poking holes in the theory that the epidemic of rudeness started with the pandemic, Rhone writes.
Stress, negative emotions, isolation, technology and lack of self-awareness are the main drivers of widespread rudeness, Rhone quotes Porath.
The problem has many consequences beyond hurt feelings. Some of the front-line workers who experience this rudeness usually are not the most highly compensated. In a way, it makes them easy targets for the frustrated.
Often, these folks have no ability to ease the frustration. But as they experience the abuse, the employees are less likely to stay in those jobs for very long. It is just not worth it to them.
The frustration and anger at usually something small – Rhone sites a hair colorist lambasted by a client because she didn’t like the color that was chosen – can follow a frustrated person home. That means the frustration, without a stranger to whom to release it, can be felt by family and other loved ones.
Therefore, the frustrated person takes it out on someone at home who had nothing to do with the problem. Over time, that can lead to family dysfunction, divorce, broken friendships etc.
Such frustration can be taken into the political arena. When one or more people are angry and frustrated, it’s hard for them to agree on anything. So, little gets done.
In the same political arena, fear and anger can overpower optimism and looking to the future. People become focused on what they perceive has been done to them, rather than what can be done for them hereafter.
How does one become a less frustrated, nicer person? For many, it takes work. It takes being thoughtful before speaking or acting. It takes realizing that the person on whom you may be taking out your frustration cannot help you solve your problem.
There are indeed rational, civil ways to address grievances in most cases. Don’t become the person who is not happy unless he or she is miserable, fearful and angry.
Think about what is good in your life. Think about whether the energy you spend in anger is worth affecting your health, your well-being as a person and/or your relationships.
People can be, and have been, wronged by others or other things. If you feel compelled to express that anger outwardly, don’t choose targets that cannot help you solve your problem.
Those targets will disappear eventually, and you’ll be much worse off for THAT, rather than the original cause of your anger.
Peter