The Libra horoscope for Dec. 8, 2012, read: “Don’t waste time speculating about how you would perform in other circumstances. Focus instead on the circumstances you’re in now.”
That horoscope was published in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
Not everyone takes horoscopes seriously, of course. But this one has a resonating message.
It makes one think about the difference between wishes and dreams.
A wish is something you want, but usually can’t get. A wish is usually something that depends on circumstances to come true.
A dream is something a person can ACHIEVE, regardless of circumstances, if he really wants it.
A dream is usually something a person creates, along with the way he’s going to achieve it.
Circumstances are none of your business. You can’t control most circumstances. Circumstances result from things that happen beyond your sphere of influence. What takes place in your sphere of influence is how you react to the circumstances around you.
For the last three years, the economy has been in the pits. Lots of folks lost jobs. Some still have not gotten new ones. Others have gotten new ones, but at far less than they were earning before they lost their original job.
Jobs are circumstances. They do not belong to the job holder. There is no entitlement to work. Jobs will come and go, through no fault of the job holder. Some will never come back, either to the job holder or anyone else.
Job holders can’t wish for time to go backward. They have to deal with new realities. They have to face the fact that the job that took care of their lives and families is gone. It would be the same as if a hurricane, or other natural disaster, wiped out one’s livelihood, home or entire town. You may have known it was coming, but you never really know how bad it’s going to be until it hits YOU.
Most circumstances, like the weather, are beyond your control. When a boxer faces his opponent in the ring, he knows he’s going to get hit. He can do a lot of things to prevent himself from getting hurt, but he can’t prevent everything. And, he certainly can’t prevent his opponent from swinging at him.
We all face certain circumstances. We can’t wallow in the misery, and expect to come out better. We have to DO something to make things better. We have to acknowledge what has happened, but not be paralyzed by it. We must look at the bad, yet see the good – or potential good – of any circumstance.
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If you face tough circumstances, think of all that is good in your life. Let those thoughts dominate your mind. Don’t wish for things to be better. Do what you need to do to make them better. Don’t wish for circumstances to be different. You can’t control them. Establish a dream, write it down, and go about achieving it. If you focus on that, after a while, circumstances won’t matter to you. Circumstances can take away your job, home, possessions and surroundings. They cannot take away your dream.
It’s been said to focus on the things you can control. You can’t control most circumstances. You can control how you respond to them.


Adult triplets all coming home to live with Mom and Dad? Really?
Sounds farfetched, but Procter & Gamble, playing off its Tide detergent ad on the amount of laundry three infant triplets generate, has a relatively new Tide ad with the amount of laundry three ADULT triplets, who’ve moved back home with Mom and Dad, generate.
Though the ad may be effective in advertising detergent, it begs the question: what is the likelihood that ALL THREE adult triplets would be so down and out as to move back home? Better yet, what is the likelihood that Mom and Dad would almost playfully work together to wash their adult kids’ clothes? In fairness to Mom and Dad, they want the kids gone – not because they don’t love them, but they NEED to be on their own.
Parents who’ve raised triplets, and perhaps other kids, look forward to that empty nest when the kids are grown. They want to still see them, but they don’t necessarily want them living back home. If you are a parent, would you welcome your, say, 30-year-old still living with you? If you are the 30-year-old, do you want to be living with Mom and Dad?
In recent years, with the number of job losses etc., parents have been a fallback for younger adults whose lives were suddenly changed. The young person can save on rent, perhaps even food and other living expenses, by hanging home. But as much as parents may not want this arrangement, the young person shouldn’t want it either.
For many, getting out of the house to live on one’s own is a goal as a young person. Parents, meanwhile, undoubtedly look forward to lives they’ve never been able to live while raising children. When the economy is going well, everyone should be happy with their own independence.
The unintended consequence of the economic downturn is the number of people who lose their independence. Mom and Dad could disallow their child or children to move back in, but most parents have never gone through what these young people are going through. They’ve never seen so many young careers threatened by forces their children can’t control.
The good news for children is they have time to recover. Presumably, the triplets in the Tide ad are all single. Matters get really complicated if the adult children have spouses and families themselves. It also gets really complicated for the person who is close to retirement, but not quite there yet. Their unexpected lack of work may sentence them to an extension of their work life, in some fashion.
Add to that the trend of companies refusing to hire those who have been unemployed a while, and you have the makings of a very slow recovery. Meanwhile, those who want to be independent – parents and adult children – can’t be in many cases.
What to do? If you are indeed forced to move back home with Mom and Dad, don’t stick them with your laundry or any other life chore. Live as if you were on your own. Sure, you can eat meals together, but if you don’t eat at the appointed family time, make your own meals.
If you are indeed unemployed, and are looking for an income source, visit This is among the better of the many ways out there to earn income, without having a traditional job. If you already have a job, don’t presume it will always be there. Check out other ways to make money – and save money, too.
If you are a parent and have adult kids at home, you, too, can buy into this venture and have your kids work with it. That may hasten their independence, and yours.
Having kids around is great. Many parents whose kids they never see would relish having their children home – for a time. But, after a while, they will want them to go to their own homes. The kids, after a while, should want that, too.