#BeNice #kindness #performance #credit #action
Perhaps your mother told you as a child, when you did something she didn’t like, “that’s not nice.”
In the current movie “Banshees of Inisherin,” we learn that ending a long friendship is “not nice.”
As you grew older, you may have learned that “nice guys finish last.” Some confusion may have set in, because mom taught you to “be nice,” but, by being nice, you won’t win.
As years went on, you may have learned that kindness is a virtue, to the point that you were inclined to perform random acts of kindness. Perhaps, these random acts were not witnessed by anyone, except you, and the person to whom you were kind. That recipient was the only one that mattered in that instance.
Later, you learned that character was built by doing good things, even when no one is watching. In other words, you were DOING rather than performing. It may have made you feel good, but you got no “credit” for it.
In today’s world, for many, it’s ALL about performance and credit. They even try to make bad actions look good to an audience, thereby getting “credit” for it.
This milieu might make it a good time to relearn, perhaps through “Banshees,” the virtue of being nice.
It is indeed possible to create a persona in yourself that is both nice and winning. In fact, such a persona is a foundation for success in whatever endeavor one chooses.
If you own a business and people work for you, those who are “nice” to their employees tend to get more out of them.
Unfortunately, some who own or manage businesses are nice to customers, because they have to be, but are not so nice to their workers. In this labor market, such people may be chronically short-staffed.
Also, today, many long friendships and relationships have become strained for various reasons, including the hardness of opinions and the growing willingness to avoid those who have certain views.
Such willingness can manifest itself in many toxic, even violent, ways. Not nice at all.
When one gets to that point, he or she may need to not necessarily change his or her opinions, but craft a persona that allows him or her to be “nice,” even to those with whom he or she disagrees.
One way to do that is to avoid inflammatory conversation topics. Another way is to enjoy what you both enjoy.
So, in a complex world, a combination of niceness, enthusiasm and drive can help lead one toward success.
In the past, it’s has been said that one does not have to like you, he or she just has to respect you. One who realizes that respect is earned, not demanded, will be the more successful. One may earn such respect by simply being nice.
One has to wonder when niceness became so unnecessary. For many, niceness comes naturally, no matter what happens to them. Others, who may have been jaded by some event or circumstance, may have lost their niceness.
Be nice. Work hard. Don’t step over others, as that may taint your success. Real success is achieved not at the expense of others, but with the help of many others.
Peter